<strong>The</strong> <strong>Big</strong> <strong>Breach</strong>; From Top Secret to Maximum SecurityCompliments <strong>of</strong> http://www.192.comarrival at Brixton jail an hour earlier. Two other newly remandedprisoners were sharing the cell with me. One was an Italian, clutchinga two-day-old Gazzetto dello Sport, who spoke not a word <strong>of</strong> English andwas bewildered by what was going on around him; the other, his facepuffy, sweaty and cement-grey, sat on his hands and rocked gentlybackwards and forwards, his silence broken only by the occasional gasp.`Yeah you,' the guard indicated to me. `Basildon, that's you, innit?James Bond's brother.' <strong>The</strong> guard laughed with a hacking smoker's coughat his obscure joke. And so, for the duration <strong>of</strong> my time in Brixtonjail, I was named after a famous brand <strong>of</strong> writing paper. `Bring yourbag, and don't try any kung fu, or any other 007 stuff.' I picked upthe small case containing a few extra clothes which my father hadbrought down and followed him down the corridor to start the receptionprocess.My knowledge <strong>of</strong> prison life was limited to what I'd seen on occasionaltelevision dramas and odd snippets <strong>of</strong> wisdom from Winston and Shaggy,who had done time for cannabis dealing. I decided that the bestapproach would be to adopt the `grey man' tactic advised to us on SASselection. Stay quiet but attentive, do not speak to anybody unlessspoken to and cooperate quickly with all instructions. Reception tookmost <strong>of</strong> the day, each stage separated by a long wait in a smoke-filledholding-pen with my fellow new inmates. `Mondays are always busy,'explained one screw as he escorted me through to the search-room,`because <strong>of</strong> all the drunks and druggies who've been pulled in over theweekend.' In the searchroom there was an airport X-ray machine,photographic equipment and a large rubber mat on which the screwsordered me to stand. `Right, Basildon, your prison number is BX5126,which you'd better memorise right now,' explained the screw, ''cos allyour mail has to have that number on or else it goes straight in thebin.' Like my school number and army number, BX5126 soon becameindelibly ingrained in my memory. `Empty your pockets and that bag onthe table,' he ordered, `then get back on the mat.'My possessions were minutely examined. Wallet, money, credit cards,phone cards, stamps and anything else tradeable were confiscated andrecorded in my personal file. My sponge bag was emptied, the razor wasconfiscated and recorded, but the toothpaste, shampoo and aftershavewent straight in the bin. `We don't know what might be in them. <strong>The</strong>ycould be full <strong>of</strong> crack for all we know,' explained the screw. All thefresh fruit my father had brought for me went the same way. `Right,let's have a Fully Monty then,' the screw ordered. My pile <strong>of</strong> clotheswas passed through the X-ray machine before they allowed me to dressagain. After photographing and finger-printing, the screws escorted meto another holding-pen to await the medical exam.Many prisoners come into jail in poor mental and physical health. Oftenthey are drug addicts and need a methadone fix to ease withdrawal, ormay be suicidal at the start <strong>of</strong> a long sentence. A medical check isobligatory before they can be assigned to a wing for their own safetyand the safety <strong>of</strong> the other prisoners.<strong>The</strong> two <strong>of</strong>ficers in the medical centre already knew who I was. `I can'tbelieve they've nicked you,' commented the orderly as he examined myforearms and wrists for injection scars or suicide attempts. `<strong>The</strong>y'vereally shot themselves in the arse putting you in here just for writinga book.' <strong>The</strong> burly young guard, watching over the examination in casepage- 169 - To purchase the original limited edition hardback version <strong>of</strong> this bookplease call 08000 192 192 or go to http://www.192.com
<strong>The</strong> <strong>Big</strong> <strong>Breach</strong>; From Top Secret to Maximum SecurityCompliments <strong>of</strong> http://www.192.com<strong>of</strong> troublesome prisoners, chuckled in agreement. `Fuckin' madness. Butlook on the bright side, at least you'll be able to add another chapterto your book when you get out ...'A glance at a wall clock showed that I finally cleared reception atabout 1830. Clutching a black bin liner containing the few possessionsI'd been allowed to keep, I followed two screws down a long corridor.Judging by the smell <strong>of</strong> stale cabbages that reminded me <strong>of</strong> the kitchensat Barnard Castle School, I guessed that they were taking me to thedining area to get something to eat. `Get yourself some sc<strong>of</strong>f in there,Basildon,' the screw ordered, indicating a dining-room filled withtables and benches. About ten other prisoners were already eating frommetal trays. <strong>The</strong>re was silence, apart from the occasional gruntedrequest for the plastic salt cellar or for left-over food. I queued upfor my rice, beef stew and buttered white bread, and sat down with mymetal tray on my own. Like the other prisoners, I felt subdued andunsociable and ate in silence. <strong>The</strong> Italian, still with his Gazzetto,was staring quizzically at his tray <strong>of</strong> uneaten food. Next to him aNigerian, immaculately dressed in a brand new suit, read from hisbible, his lips moving to the words. In the corner was a distinguishedlookingand smartly dressed guy, perhaps in his late 60s, who judgingby the anger written on his face had been given a sentence with whichhe sharply disagreed.Nearest to me was the heroin junkie who had been doing cold-turkey inmy holding-pen. He smiled weakly at me. `Have you got a fag?' he beggedin a hoarse whisper.`Sorry, I don't smoke,' I replied quietly, not wanting to disturb thesilence.`Lucky bastard,' he replied. `You're far better <strong>of</strong>f in jail if youdon't smoke. And even better <strong>of</strong>f if you don't do drugs.' His chuckle athis self-deprecation was cut short by a spasm and for a moment Ithought he was going to throw up.`Tomlinson, come here,' the tattoed <strong>of</strong>ficer who had first christened me`Basildon' barked from the exit door. I stood up and made my way tohim, leaving my tray on the table. `All right, Basildon, you've beenput on the book, so we have to cuff you to take you down the wing.'Expertly, he grabbed my wrist, handcuffing me to his own wrist, andanother burly, bearded screw did the same with the other wrist. As theyconveyed me out into the damp air <strong>of</strong> a foggy London evening for theshort walk to the neighbouring block, I wanted to ask what `the book'was, but decided to play the grey man and kept quiet. As we passed 20-foot wire fences topped with barbed wire, illuminated by the depressingyellow <strong>of</strong> sodium strip lighting, the guards must have guessed mythoughts. `Sorry about this, Basildon, but we `ave to do it, you're onthe book, you see. Do you know what that means?'`No ...' I replied, guessing it was something bad.`Well it means the Governor's decided that you're a Category Aprisoner, as opposed to a B, a C or a D, and that means that you are ahighly dangerous threat to the state. It's a bit ridiculous making abloke like you an A-cat, if you ask me,' the tattoo explained.page- 170 - To purchase the original limited edition hardback version <strong>of</strong> this bookplease call 08000 192 192 or go to http://www.192.com