Make the World a Better Place Neva Gould Graceful Aging Worry Is ...

2The ImposterSyndromeThis source of worry is socommon books have beenwritten about it. The beliefbehind this worry is one of“I’m not good enough, I’mnot as good as others” andthere is a fear of being persecuted.Part of what happensis that you find yourself insituations where you havethe opportunity to access anduse your power, yet the impostersyndrome strikes andyou shut down out of fearof being attacked by thosearound you once they “findout that you really don’tbelong.”The challenge that thiscalls up is one of self-acceptance.Being able to acceptyourself as a powerful woman,and accepting yourselfin the midst of having theseworries—being able to say“this is who I am right now”stops the Imposter syndrome’sability to drain yourenergy.Common phrases thisworry may bring up include:“What if someone finds outI don’t know what I’m doing,”“What if they thinkI really don’t belong here.”“What if they get madand attack me?”3 PerfectionExpectationThis is a self-imposedexpectation based on thebelief “I have to be perfect”and comes from archetypalimages of “the good girl.”Behind this belief is a fearof losing control. When youhave this underlying fear, attemptsat controlling thingsaround you are made underthe hope that it will have acalming effect on your internalexperience.The challenge in theperfection expectation isto release attachment to aparticular outcome. If youare able to be authentic inwho you are, and put forthgood effort, then you can befully present and engaged inwhatever you’re doing. Youknow at a deep level that youare doing a good job in thatmoment, being authenticallyyourself. It becomes easier tolet go of the expectation of aspecific end result, and youcan feel confident that youdid do your best.Perfection expectationbrings up concerns such as:“What if things don’t workout the way they ‘should’?”“What if I can’t doall that’s expected of me?”“What if I disappointsomeone?”I work with women usinga combination of evidencebasedholistic and cognitiveapproaches to help themovercome these challenges.By discovering how to tapinto your own core poweryou can keep these worriesin check and often get rid ofthem altogether.The antonym of worry iscalm, or reassure. Once youidentify the underlying fearand belief that is causingyour worry, then you can addressthe underlying sourcethat is draining your energy,restoring confidence andcalmly focusing your energyin productive ways.A very effective and easilyused technique involvesbecoming mindful of yourthoughts. As you go throughthe day, anytime you noticeyourself worrying make asmall tick mark on a pieceof paper. Then write downsomething you are gratefulfor or glad about—it canbe totally unrelated to youroriginal worry. This exercisedoes a couple things: bybecoming aware of when youare in the midst of worry, youbring that worry under thecontrol of a higher functioningpart of your brain. Thenby switching your focus tosomething that taps intomore pleasant emotions,you’re exercising cognitivecontrol and regaining powerover where your energy isgoing. The worry may still bethere, but it is no longer brutishlydraining your energyand you have regained thepower of your rational mindto address any practical concerns.You can then generatemore energy to put towardbeing yourself and creatingthe aspects of a life you enjoyliving. Being a successfulwoman does not require perfection,or total confidence,or giving up your femininity.It does mean learning tostand in your own power andexpress your authentic self inthe moment.If you’re interested in exploringthis more, you can goto www.corehappinesscoach.com/bonus and downloadsome free resources to helpyou clear out your worrydrain and strengthen yourpower source.Tasha Walsh, known as the Core HappinessCoach, works with individualsand organizations to decrease stress,increase joy, and make it last! She isavailable for presentations, workshopsand coaching. Contact her at Tasha@CoreHappinessCoach.com.For Women, To Women, About Women15