Children's Needs – Parenting Capacity - Digital Education Resource ...

178 Children’s Needs – Parenting CapacityHe’s got problems at school ’cause he won’t do what he’s told at school, and on thebus going to school there’s a problem there as well with it because he’s just hittingother children on the bus and things like that you know.(Grandparent, quoted in Barnard 2007, p.115)Self-care skillsExpected self-care skillsAt this age children are becoming increasingly competent. For example, whenshopping for clothes 11-year-olds may still want a parent to accompany them, butby 13 the majority wish to shop with friends. Although they may not always do itwillingly, the majority of adolescents are capable of clearing up their own rooms andcarrying out simple household tasks.Children of this age group feel confident in staying away from home for shortperiods and cope adequately with the routines and cultures of other families. Theyare increasingly able to prepare simple meals, look after themselves in many basicways, and react appropriately in an emergency.Possible impact on self-care skillsThe impact of parental mental illness, learning disability, problem alcohol or druguse or domestic violence on adolescents’ self-care skills is that they are forced toassume too much responsibility for themselves and other family members. As aresult of parental problems the traditional roles of caring and being cared for mayhave been reversed and young carers may fail to look after their own developmentalneeds.I would always have to mind the boys and tidy you know the whole house like. Ina way it prepared us for later on, we learnt to cook and we’re all tidy you know ...Because most girls our age – you know I mean we’re only 15 – but a lot of girls dogo clubbing and sneak out clubbing but like we don’t.(Girl of a mother with serious mental health problems, quoted in Aldridgeand Becker 2003, p.66)The experience of being a young carer may mean that children are extremely skilledin carrying out everyday household chores and looking after themselves. However,the feeling of overall responsibility and continual fear of what might happen in theirabsence results in some teenagers believing they must remain continually vigilant.As a result they are absent from home as little as possible and everyday events suchas having lunch at school, visiting friends or joining school trips are forgone.