Children's Needs – Parenting Capacity - Digital Education Resource ...

Child development and parents’ responses – adolescence 169al. 1998). Research by Skuse and colleagues (1998) found the experience of physicalviolence, both as victim and as witness, was common among sexually abusingadolescent boys, irrespective of whether or not they had been victims of sexualabuse. But caution must be attached to making simple causal links between beingbrought up in violent and abusive homes and becoming an abuser (see Morley andMullender 1994).The adolescent years are a challenge to most parents, but those with learningdisabilities may experience greater difficulty in empathising with their children andunderstanding the emotional changes they are undergoing. ‘When children are moreintellectually able than their parents, it can become increasingly difficult for parents toact effectively in making decisions and setting boundaries for the child’ (James 2004,p.34). This can be made much worse when children need support and understandingbecause they have been exposed to childhood abuse and neglect; parents may havedifficulty in managing their child’s behaviour and providing the necessary support.My stepfather was sexually assaulting me. He touched me up from 6 years to14 years. He raped me up the back passage. My mother would not believe me. Ireported him to the police but nothing happened. He was also touching up mysister. My mum would not believe us. I wanted my mum to believe me but sheloved him that much that she wouldn’t.(Eighteen-year-old girl, reflecting on her childhood; mother had a learningdisability and was herself abused during her childhood, quoted in Cleaverand Nicholson 2007, p.89)A further problem for children whose parents are unable to look after themadequately is that the normal pace of emotional maturity can be accelerated. For someyoung carers this results in a loss of childhood. As well as having to take on practicalhousehold tasks which are normally carried out by an adult, some adolescents haveto assume emotional responsibility for a parent or younger siblings. The nationalsurvey of young carers shows 82% provide emotional support (Dearden and Becker2004).The worst thing about my childhood? I think the fact it was as if she was the childand I was the mum, it was the way it was kind of reversed.(Child of drug-using parent, quoted in Barnard 2007, p.93)Marie (14) describes to ChildLine how she had to look after her mother who wasa problem drinker.I have to tell her when to go to bed, I have to undress her. She is covered in cutsand bruises and never knows where she gets them ... She used to be pretty but nowshe is bloated and lined and looks terrible.(Quoted in ChildLine 1997, p.38)