Children's Needs – Parenting Capacity - Digital Education Resource ...

130 Children’s Needs – Parenting CapacityWhen parents’ behaviour is unpredictable and frightening, research suggestschildren react with symptoms similar to those identified in post-traumatic stressdisorder. These include sleep disturbance, bed-wetting and rocking (Holt et al. 2008;Humphreys and Houghton 2008). Children who witness domestic violence havegenerally been found to have more frequent behavioural and emotional problemsthan children who do not (Humphreys and Mullender 1999). Extreme anxiety andfear may result from children seeing their parents as powerless or untrustworthy.They may react by withdrawing or, alternatively, by always trying to please (Fahlberg1991). These symptoms are noted in the NCH Action for Children study of childrenwho experience domestic violence (NCH Action for Children 1994). Many motherstalked about their children’s fear, ‘They would wake up screaming and crying’ (p.35).Other children showed their fear by being unnaturally quiet or withdrawn, whileover a third developed bed-wetting problems. Practically two-thirds of mothersmentioned other disturbing reactions, particularly children’s fear of any type ofseparation.My daughter used to like walking in the street by herself. But now, I have to beholding her hand constantly or pick her up. Even on the bus, she sits on me, shedo not want to sit by herself. Inside the house, she sitting on me all the time. It’slike she’s just scared.(Mother subjected to domestic violence, quoted in DeVoe and Smith 2002,p.1088)Finally, research suggests that those children who had both witnessed violencedirected towards their mother and been the direct victims of violence experiencedsignificantly more behavioural problems than those who had only witnessed theviolence or those who had neither witnessed nor been a victim (Hughes 1988;Hughes et al. 2001).Identity and social presentationExpected identity and social presentationChildren of 3 and 4 years are clear about their gender and have some understandingof their race and culture, depending on their family’s approach and attitude (Bee2000). Most children know who their parents and siblings are and have a sense ofwho belongs to their immediate family. Children can generally give their first nameand last name and know how old they are.Definitions of self tend to focus on concrete, visible characteristics: whetherthey are boys or girls, what colour hair they have or what they are good at doing,rather than more enduring inner qualities (Bee 2000). The children’s perceptions ofthemselves tend to be tied to specific settings or tasks and they have yet to developa more global sense of self (Quinton 2006).