Children's Needs – Parenting Capacity - Digital Education Resource ...

122 Children’s Needs – Parenting CapacityThis is the stage when children gain a sense of ownership, an understandingof ‘me’ and ‘mine’. The ability to differentiate self from others is also reflected inchildren becoming aware of physical differences between themselves and others. Anindependent sense of self-differentiation is thought to be gained half way through ababy’s second year of life (Bee 2000).Infants who receive sufficient love and attention develop a positive sense ofself, and at 2 years are relatively confident in themselves and take a pride in theirachievements. Children of this age expect to be liked by adults, and see adultsas dependable and trustworthy (Smith and Cowie 1993). In relation to socialpresentation, most mothers will take a pride in ensuring their child is clean anddressed appropriately.Possible impact on identity and social presentationWhen alcohol or drugs become the prime focus of a parent’s attention, or mentalillness blunts perceptions, or a learning disability impacts on parental awareness,the infant may be dressed inappropriately and hygiene grossly neglected. Parentaldisorders may inhibit the ability to care about themselves or their infants.Parents with learning disabilities may need support to learn how to keep theirinfant clean, and what constitutes appropriate clothing to suit the weather or theoccasion. Children who grow up in families which experience many stresses andproblems will need positive messages to avoid developing a negative self-image andpoor self-esteem.Parental mental illness or other parenting problems can result in a child beingshown little warmth, being physically and emotionally rejected or held responsiblefor the difficulties within the family. Children need to be respected, valued forthemselves and included in family gatherings and outings. Identity problems candevelop if parents or carers call the child by a different name or if they are highlycritical of the child and show little warmth. Infants who are regularly rejected cometo see themselves as unloved and unlovable (Fahlberg 1991).Family and social relationshipsExpected relationshipsThe fear of strangers and separation anxiety, which began during the latter end ofthe first year of life, continues to rise until approximately the age of 16 months.Practically all infants show at least mild forms of these two types of distress, regardlessof whether they have been looked after by their parents or have attended regularly aday-care facility (Bee 2000).