Justice William Charles Crockett AO - Victorian Bar

News and ViewsChildren’s Christmas PartyBotanical Gardens, 10 December 2006IF anybody wants to organise an outdoorparty on a date when it’s guaranteedto be hot, and not rain, thenco-ordinate your date with that of theBar Childrens’ Christmas Party. Year afteryear after year, Santa has trudged into theBotanical Gardens in sweltering conditions.But this year’s Christmas Party tookthe prize for hot weather.It was 42 degrees, and heavy bushfiresmoke enshrouded the BotanicalGardens. Out of this sweltering hazeemerged Santa Claus lugging a large sackfor the eager throng of barristers’ childrenwho languidly lazed in the shadows of theTennyson lawn deep in the bowels of theGardens.The RSPCA had quarantined the reindeer.It was cruel to expect animals to beabout on a smoke-laden 42 degree day,decreed the animal inspectors. Althoughthe conditions did not prevent multifariousmembers of the Bar and their offspringcongregating to celebrate a whiteChristmas. Santa’s bobsleigh had beenseconded for an air-conditioned shoppingcentre opening on that day. So how was heto travel the long distance from Gate C onAnderson Street to the far flung lakes andgrassy inclines of the Tennyson lawns?Wil Alstergren, the overburdenedorganiser of this stellar event, wasstumped. The Botanical Gardens’ staffrefused to transport Santa in their golfcart because no insurance company wouldcover the risk of Santa melting in the heatand causing a nasty pile up.But Wil had a brainwave. He wouldborrow a blue Porche and organise hisson Finn to drive Santa into the Gardens.Thus father and son became Elf and ChiefElf on this momentous occasion. SantaClaus was rather shocked, though, whenhe found out that Finn was five years ofage. He was quickly replaced at the wheelof the Boxster by his father.Bureaucracy is the bane of the existenceof all Christmas parties. So it wasthat a Botanical Gardens security guardapproached a now sopping Santa standingin a blue Porche at a locked Gate C of theGardens. The guard announced that he72The Bar and its children.could not give much assistance becausehe was due to attend a large wedding inanother far flung corner of this domain.After threats of mandatory injunctionsand Anton Pillar orders the guard eventuallyunlocked the gate, and Santa proceededat a veritable pace through thewinding tracks that ensnared the clumpsof bougainvillea and fig trees. Donutswere done on the lawn. Japanese touristsscreeched with joy at the sight of a largered man throwing lolly bags into the air.Cameras snapped as he headed off intothe distance, intoning “Happy Christmas”in Japanese.The Porche shuddered to a halt, almosthurtling the standing Santa into thecrowd of children who enshrouded thenow steaming vehicle. Children graspedSanta’s hand as he strode to the shade ofthe trees, his helpers lugging large bags oftoys for the children.Children jumped into the air to catchthe bags of lollies. But many were brushedaside by eager adults keen to savour jellybeans, freckles and smarties on the pretencethat they needed them for theirother children at home. As the pictureson these pages testify the heat was noimpediment to the joy of the childrenpresent. Myriad presents were grasped,the coloured paper torn asunder and, usually,cries of delight ensued. Parents wereoffered new clerks, new fee books and achange of jurisdiction to cheer them upfor the coming year.Santa’s body was encased by ice packsbut to no avail. As the afternoon wore onhe began to shrink. After the presentshad been given he endeavoured to leave.But each parent insisted on an individualphotographic portrait of their child withSanta. Eventually his helpers side by sideescorted him back to Gate C, the bluePorche having been repossessed.Some of the more cosmopolitan