Awaken15 - Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery

Spiritual Countdown 2009Make new aspirations and share this significant momentswith your spiritual friends! Countdown to the last momentof 2009 and usher in the new year with the Youth Ministry!Date/Time : 31 Dec, Thurs, 10pm to late nightVenueDetails: KMSPKS Monastery: For more information, please call 68495345 oremail youth@kmspks.org3 Days Insight Meditation Retreat (check-in 18 Sep, 7pm)Date/Time : 19 - 21 SepVenue : KMSPKS MonasteryFee : $60Details : All participants are required to stay-inFor more information, please call 6849 5300Art Therapy for Well-BeingDate/Time : 1 Sep – 17 Nov, Tues , 7.30pm – 9.00pmFee : $240 (12 sessions, include drawing, painting& sculpture-making materials)Conductor : Ms. Yen Chua, certified Art Therapist. Sheholds a Masters Degree in Arts & Art Therapy. She has yearsof experience in conducting art workshops and lectureswhich have garnered good response and feedback from theparticipants. She is also an award-winning and practisinglocal artist who has held several solo and group exhibitions.Managing Mood SMART – 3rd RunDate/Time : 9,16,23,30 Sep, Wed, 7.30pm – 9.30pmFee : $160 (4 lessons)Conductor : Mr. Sean Liew (Bear), a psychotherapist with morethan 10 years of experience in coaching and training. He isa Certified Human Behaviour Consultant and provides individualand group therapy focusing on relationships andcommunication.*w*s*d*pLifestyle programmes to discover Buddhism & its everydayapplicationDate/Time : 10 & 24 Sep, 8 & 22 Oct, 5 & 19 Nov,3 & 17 Dec, 7.30pm – 9.30pmVenue : Awareness Place Well-Being CentreDetails : For more information, please call 6849 5346or email wsdp@kmspks.orgY_FellowshipFortnightly cultivation (puja/prayers, Dharma Talk, hymns)& fellowship for youths between 17 to 35Date/Time : 13 & 27 Sep, 11 & 25 Oct, 8 & 22 Nov,6 & 20 Dec, alternate Sun, 10.00am – 1.00pmVenue : 1st floor, Ven Hong Choon Memorial HallDetails : For more information, please call 6849 5345or email yfellowship@kmspks.orgY_Cultivation: The Six Perfections (conducted by Ven. Bodhi)Short courses introducing Buddhist teachings, conceptsand practiceDate/Time : 26 Sep – 7 Nov, Sat, 7.30pm – 9.30pmVenue : Awareness Place Well-Being CentreFee : $30Details : For more information, please call 6849 5345or email ycultivation@kmspks.org3GEMS Guided Tour @ Bright Hill TempleGuided tours of Buddhist cultures, histories, arts andarchitectures in Kong Meng San Phor Kark See MonasteryDate/Time : 1 Nov, Sun, 10.00am – 12.00pm3GEMS Guided Tour @ Burmese TempleGuided tours of Buddhist cultures, histories, arts andarchitectures in Burmese TempleDate/Time : 15 Nov, Sun, 2.00pm – 4.00pmDetails: For more information, please call 68495345 oremail 3gems@kmspks.orgMorning YogaDate/Time : 3 Oct – 12 Dec, (no class 17 Oct) Sat,9.30am – 11.00amFee : $160 (10 lessons)Yoga for GeneralDate/Time : 4 Nov 09 – 6 Jan 10, Wed, 7.30pm – 9.00pmFee : $160 (10 lessons)Conductor : Ms. Ong Ju Lee, diploma in teaching the Scienceand Art of YogaEnglish Sharing Sessions for Home Caregivers of ElderlyDate/Time : 1,8,15 Nov, Sun, 2.00pm – 5.00pmFee : $40 (3 lessons)Conductor : Mr. Seow KH, registered nurseTaiJi (Yang Style) – BeginnersDate/Time : 8 Nov – 27 Dec, Sun, 9.30am – 11.00amFee : $150 (8 lessons)Conductor : Ms. Jasmine Koh, accredited coach with TheSingapore Sports CouncilChildren’s Art ClassDate/Time : 14 Nov 09 – 30 Jan 10, Sat, 2.00pm – 4.00pmFee : $50 (12 lessons)Conductor : Mr. Soh Chin Bee, graduate from NanyangAcademy of Fine ArtsVenue : Awareness Place Well-Being Centre,Bras Basah Complex #03-39Details : Please visit www.awarenessplace.com, emailsem@kmspks.org or call 6336 5067 to register or enquire.English Buddhism CourseYear 1 Module 3Date/Time : 14 Sep – 9 Nov, Every Mon, 7.30pm – 9.00pmVenue : 1st floor, Ven Hong Choon Memorial HallYear 2 Module 3Date/Time : 27 Sep – 22 Nov, Every Sun, 2.00pm – 3.30pmVenue : Dharma HallAbhidhamma in Daily Life Module 3Date/Time : 17 Sep – 19 Nov, Every Thurs, 7.30pm – 9.00pmVenue : 1st floor, Ven Hong Choon Memorial HallFee : $30 per ModuleDetails : For more information, please call 6849 5300Medicine Buddha Sutra Recitation (Chinese)Date/Time : Every Sat, 7.45pmVenue : Pagoda of Ten Thousand Buddhas, 2nd LevelPureland Sutra Recitation (Chinese)Date/Time : Every Sun, 9.00amVenue : Hall of Great CompassionDiamond Sutra Recitation (Chinese)Date/Time : Every Sun, 2.00pmVenue : Hall of Great CompassionThe Great Compassion Puja (Chinese)Date/Time : Every 27th of the lunar month, 10.00amVenue : Hall of Great CompassionRecitation of 25th Chapter of the Lotus Sutra (Pu Men Pin)Date/Time : Every Fri, 8.00pmVenue : Hall of Great CompassionDetails : For more information, please call 6849 5300Calendar of EventsawakenIssue 15 • September – December 2009 35

How Do You Know You Are NotControlling Your Child?Q & AawakenQ: In parenting, howdo you draw theline betweenguiding, shaping andbeing responsible for yourchild, and controllingthem? — AnonymousA: I think the line liessomewhere in ourmotivation. Whenwe see the child as partof us, as an extension ofus, that’s when I thinkthe controlling mindjumps in. We have toomuch ego attachment toour children, we want tomake them what we’venever been. We want tomake them perfect. Wearen’t perfect, so we say,“Let’s make our childrenperfect.” They are youngand malleable, so we say,“Let’s make them intowhat we were never able to become. Let’s give themeverything we’ve never had, even if they don’t wantit.”When our ego is too identified with the child, thereisn’t such a clear distinction between who am I andwho is this other living being. A lot of controllingthen comes in.But when you see that the child is aunique person who came into this lifewith karma and everything else froma previous life, with his or her ownBuddha nature, then your role becomesmore like that of a steward’s: your roleis to guide and shape the child.You’ve got to seewhat the tendenciesand talents of thechild are. Let’s sayyour child is goodin music, but youwant your child tobe good in Maths,so you say, “Forgetmusic. You’ve gotto do Maths! Youidiot, you didn’tdo your arithmeticright. You can’t doanything right. I’mgoing to get youa tutor. Oh, whatare the neighboursgoing to say? Youdid so poorly inyour test! Primary1 and you obtained50% only. You’rea failure for yourwhole life!”Oh, my goodness! This is just a little kid, and it’sjust Maths! Maybe your kid is a musical genius.They learn some Maths, and even if they don’t getexcellent marks in Maths, the world goes on.You find out what your child is good in, what theirown gifts are, and you nurture those. You mighthave a baby Mozart there but if you try to make theminto an Einstein, they’re never going to be one! Andeven if they aren’t Einstein or Mozart, who cares!They have some unique talents which as a parent,you can nurture and bring out.I think parenting is probably one of the hardestendeavours for people to be skilful at, the onethey’re least trained for.— Ven. Thubten Chodron36

Other films include Mekong Full Moon Party (Thailand), which is a story about thelong-time friendship between a young man and an old temple abbot, highlightingthe conflict between modernity and traditions. Zen Buddhism (South Korea)captures for the very first time a group of nuns undergoing the long secrettradition of Korean Zen Buddhism retreats,while Act Normal (Iceland) is a film depictingthe uncertainties and struggles experiencedby Iceland’s pioneer Buddhist monk. InSankara (Sri Lanka) a young, handsome monkis tasked to restore the fading frescoes of aSinhalese village temple. The paintings depictthe Thelapaththa Jathakaya (a moral storywhere the Buddha advises that man with a biggoal should not be shaken by passion) withvoluptuous female figures. Amorous feelingsare aroused in the monk when he catches theeyes of a pretty village girl.▲ Mekong Full Moon Party (Thailand)For Japan’s Arukihenro (Walking Pilgrims),the film explores the motivations behindthe pilgrims’ decisions to take this arduousspiritual journey.The healing nature of Buddhism is expressedin the documentary Dhamma Brothers (US).Even in the toughest of conditions, withinprison walls, Buddhism is effective, helpingthe hardest of hard-core criminals to redeemthrough reflection and contemplation on life.In another documentary, Bhutan: The MiddlePath to Happiness, find out more about theconcept of Gross National Happiness and onwhat it is in life that really makes us happy.▲ Unmistaken Child (Israel)In Unmistaken Child (Israel), the Buddhistconcept of rebirth is brought to the forefront,with the filming of the four-year search for therebirth of Lama Konchog, a world-renownedTibetan master who passed away in 2001 atage 84. The Dalai Lama tasked the deceased monk’s devoted disciple, TenzinZopa (who had been in his service since the age of seven), to search for hismaster’s rebirth.Buddhist News in Briefawaken38Finally, the festival closes with a thought-provoking film, Buddha CollapsedOut of Shame (Afghanistan), a movie set in the Bamiyan village where the greatBuddha statue was destroyed by the Taliban in 2001. It depicts an Afghanistangirl’s struggle for peace and education amidst social and sexual discrimination.To find out more about the full list of films, their synopses and schedules, visitwww.thisfilmfest.com, or visit www.sistic.com to book your tickets. To donate orvolunteer for this event, email puaykim@dharmainaction.net

What Makes for Buddhist Parenting?To me, teaching the Four Immeasurables forms the basis of Buddhistparenting. Loving-kindness helps eliminate anger, compassion curbscruelty, sympathetic joy subdues jealousy and equanimity overcomes prejudice.By focusing on these core qualities and imparting them to our children in theirearly years, combined with examples from our day-to-day lives, we help our youngones develop altruism and the understanding of interdependence which will in turn giveinner peace and mental resilience to our future generation.— Collin Yeo, 46, Entrepreneur and a father of a 15-year old sonIt is to show them how we lead our life in accordance with the Dharma. We must be congruent withwhat we say, what we believe and how we act and think in our daily interactions with our children.Sadly, many parents fail to do this. Our children need a sense of order and a message of consistency. Bybeing with them, engaging them, and giving them the support they require psychologically, emotionallyand spiritually, they would be allowed to understand and internalise that the prevailing amoral toneof our culture is not acceptable. I believe this will help insight and wisdom to foster along the way.Understanding that children are matured “consciousness” coming into this world with their ownlessons to learn and virtues to develop, I also see parenting as another avenue for me to better understandand learn about myself through my children.— Benjamin Pua, 37, Manager and a father of two school-going childrenWe value your commentsand welcome your suggestionsfor improvementsto AWAKEN. Tell us how wecan improve our magazineto better cater to yourspiritual and holistic needs.What new column would youlike to see; which articleswould you like to read? Sendus your praises and flames.E-mail your feedback toawaken@kmspks.org or sendthem to:AWAKEN, The Executive EditorKong Meng San Phor Kark SeeMonasteryDharma Propagation DivisionAwaken Publishing & Design88 Bright Hill RoadYOUR Feedback MattersSingapore 574117Pleaseinclude yourfull name andpersonal particulars*Want your story to be heard too?Are you touched by the stories andinterviews featured in this magazine?Perhaps you too have a story to tell, a story ofhow the Buddha and His Teachings so inspiredyou to walk the Buddhist path, or maybe a simpleaccount of the little treasures and blessings in life?Or perhaps you are a budding poet who would liketo share a prose and a verse or two about how theDharma changed your life forever?Whatever your story or poem may be, we welcomeyou to write in to us. Share your inspiring tale offaith and awakening with the rest of the world.Send your entries toawaken@kmspks.org or:AWAKEN, The Executive EditorKong Meng San Phor Kark See MonasteryDharma Propagation Division88 Bright Hill RoadSingapore 574117Please include your full name, address and contactdetails. We reserve the right to edit the stories andletters for space and grammar considerations.Real-life QuotesawakenIssue 15 • September – December 2009 39

The Merits of Producing BuddhistTeachings and Buddha Images1. One’s light karmic misgivingswill dissolve, while heavy oneslighten.2. One will be protected by devas,and be unharmed by natural andman-made disasters.3. One will always be free fromthe suffering of hatred andvengeance.4. One will be unharmed by yaksas,evil spirits and wild beasts.5. One’s mind will be at peace, freefrom harm and nightmares.6. One’s complexion will be radiant.7. One will be full of auspiciousenergy.8. One who practises the Dharmawholeheartedly will haveadequate living necessities.9. One’s family will be harmoniousand be blessed with fortune andwisdom.10. One who practises what onepreaches will be respected andloved by all.11. One who is dull-minded will gainwisdom.12. One who is ill will gain health.13. One who is poor will gain wealth.14. One will be free of being rebornin the negative realms.15. One will be able to help othersgrow in wisdom and gain greatmerits in doing so.16. One will always be able to learnthe Dharma, till one’s wisdomand spiritual penetrations arefully grown and one becomes aBuddha.Dear Reader, “The Gift of the Dharma Excels All Other Gifts.”Do you wish to offer this greatest gift to others, so that more can be touched by the beauty of theDharma, and be inspired to lead happy and meaningful lives? If so, you can share in the productioncosts of AWAKEN Magazine for free distribution. Simply photocopy this page, fill in the sponsorshipform and mail it back to us together with your cheque or money order. All cheques and money ordersshould be made payable to “Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery” and sent to:Kong Meng San Phor Kark See MonasteryAWAKEN Magazine88 Bright Hill Road Singapore 574117For overseas readers, please send bankdrafts in Singapore currency. Please include S$10 forbank charges. Please note that the monastery is NOT able to accept cheques in foreign currency.You can also donate online via eNets or Giro at http://www.kmspks.org/kmspks/donation.htm(*Please key in ‘For the printing of Awaken Magazine’ under the Other Payment Remarks column andtype in the donation amount in the Other Payment Amount column).If you have any enquiries, please call 6849 5300 or e-mail: awaken@kmspks.orgName:E-mail:Highest educational level:Occupation:Address:Tel: (O) (H) (Hp)Amount: (Cash*/ Cheque No: )Do you require an official receipt? (Yes* / No) *Please delete where appropriateWould you like to receive emails on upcoming talks, retreats or other events ofthe monastery? (Yes* / No) *Please delete where appropriateWhere did you obtain this magazine?Issue 15AWARENESS PLACE THE ONE-STOP WELLNESSSANCTUARY DEDICATED TO AWAKENING YOURINNER WISDOM, PEACE AND WELL BEING.NOURISH YOURSELF, PHYSICALLY ANDSPIRITUALLY - BY SAVOURING OUR WIDE VARIETYOF INSPIRATIONAL AND SPIRITUAL BOOKS,RELAXING MUSIC CDS, AND VARIOUS OTHERHOLISTIC PRODUCTS. BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY OFHEALING WITH US! COME EXPERIENCE THE BLISSOF REBIRTH - INTO A NEW LIFE OF LIMITLESS JOYAND TRANQUILLITY.living every moment withawarenessAwareness PlaceW W W. AWA R E N E S S P L A C E .C O MAWARENESS ENTERPRISE PTE LTD8 8 BRIG HT HILL ROA D SINGAPORE 574117OUTLET 65 6 452 1732OFFICE 65 6 8 49 5347 / 48 / 49 / 50FA X 65 6553 19 61AWARENESS PL ACE • BR AS BASAHBLK 231 BAIN STREET 01- 63BR AS BASA H COMPLE X SINGAPORE 18 0231TEL 65 6337 7582 FA X 65 6337 85 46AWARENESS PL ACE [ WELLBEING]BLK 231 BAIN STREET 03 -39BR AS BASA H COMPLE X SINGAPORE 18 0231TEL /FA X 65 6336 50 67ProfilesawakenIssue 15 • September – December 200941

children are sent for numerous classes and tuition.They hardly see one another. Spend time with yourchildren in a nature spot – play and relax together.Just be around in their presence with nothing to do.We don’t need more things in our schedules but less.Parents can also try spending five or 10 minuteseach day with their children and do total relaxationmeditation. Just lay down flat on the floor, with noTV, newspapers or cell phones around, put yourhands on your abdomen and breathe in and out,aware and mindful of your every breath. This is avery soothing and relaxing practice.Awaken: How can we teach children, even reallyyoung ones like preschoolers, meditation andmindfulness since they are always so active?children can do five minutes of mindfulnesspractice for every hour that goes by. For the rest ofthe hour, just allow the child to behave naturally.Do any activity, energetic or silent, that allows thechild to be mentally aware of the activity that he orshe is doing.Awaken: What do you think is the essence of theteaching taught by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh?Venerables: The essence of his teaching isMindfulness, being alive in the present moment.You are there in the present moment. This meanswhen you are breathing in and out, you are there,aware of your in-breath and out-breath and you feelalive.Venerables: By doing together. Children like itwhen their parents do the activity together withthem. “Breathing in, I’m calm, my child; breathingout, I smile, my child.” Children usually imitatewhat others are doing. Also do the mindfulnesspractices in a brief and light manner, like three orfive minutes on a regular basis for children to havea direct experience, and to remind them of the waysto relax and calm the body and the mind.If mindfulness is taught in a joyful manner, thechildren will like it in all positions, even standingon one leg. They are very good at balancing. “Canyou stand better on one leg than mummy? Let’s seewho can stand longer without falling.” Becausethey need to be mindful of their pose, their mindwill concentrate on what they are doing. And whenthey concentrate, the children will experience theenergy of peace.Make meditation a joyful play and children willlove it. If you make it formal, children will find it achore. Most importantly, you have to practise withyour kids way before something goes wrong. If thechild is not in a good mood, how can you expecthim or her to focus on breathing in and out? Youhave to cultivate and train on a regular basis withthe children. Parents also need to put in effort tocultivate mindfulness in their daily life. If parentspractise drinking a cup of coffee in a mindful way,children will learn to value that behaviour anddo likewise. We can cultivate mindfulness in anyactivity that we do — singing, jogging, working,eating etc. To train the mind so it becomes a habit,When you drink a cup of tea, you are there for thetea, aware of its fragrance, temperature and taste asit goes into your mouth, down your throat and intothe belly. And the tea is there for you, so you arefully alive in the here and now. If you can practisemindfulness all the time, you will enjoy life andwhatever activity you are doing in the moment.Awaken: How can we maintain that spirit ofmindfulness that we experience in a retreat whenwe are back in our everyday life?Venerables:We have topractise inour everymoment andin our everya c t i v i t yby doingm i n d f u lbr eat h i ng.From left: Ven. Phap Kham andIt is anVen. Phap Danginstrumentto bringthe mind back. We use the mindful breath as thecore. As long as we breathe, we can practise thismindfulness training or meditation in all that wedo. Just practise breathing mindfully. Be aware andmindful in whatever you do, and you can bringthe practice home. For instance, when you walk,do walking meditation; when you eat, do eatingmeditation; and before you sleep, do total relaxationmeditation.Issue 15 • September – December 2009 43Profilesawaken

Profilesawaken44The unique aspect of the Plum Village traditionis whatever that is learned can be applied andintegrated in a layperson’s daily life. We don’t justlearn about the teachings, we practise together. Oneday of experiencing the practice, and the retreatantwill remember for life how to do it at home. Thisis because we meditate in many ways so they canexperience by themselves when they are backhome. But of course, when they are home, it is morechallenging as many things are fighting for theirattention. They can use anything, the chimes of thebell or clock, even the ringing of the telephone, toremind them to come back to the breath.Awaken: How can one be an effective Buddhistparent, and do parenting in a Buddhist way in aconsumerist society?Venerables: Besides implementing mindfulnesspractices in daily life with the family, instead ofacquiring a new car, parents can say “let’s go for awalk”. Instead of going for a movie, parents can say“let’s go for a Dharma discussion”. And instead ofgoing for a party, they can have a family dinner. Wego with the flow but we gear ourselves towards amore positive direction.Most importantly,parents must be presentin the here and nowwith their children.Nowadays, parents areso busy that they leavebabysitters or householdhelpers to spendtime with, take care andeducate their children.From left: Ven. Boi Nghiem But when it is time forand Ven. Khoi Nghiem parents to do the actualparenting duties, theydo not know what to do and are at a loss. Thereforeparents really have to be present for their childrenand look into what the children need and not whatthe parents themselves want, and this requires anhonest assessment by the parents. Parents must firstchange their thinking and direction (e.g. wantingtheir child to be in the best school and henceforthgetting the child to attend many tuition classes etc).Often, it is the mindset of the parents that cause thechild to suffer. Do not put the needs or wants of theparents above the needs of the child.Awaken: What is the most precious and importantthing a parent can give or teach their children?Venerables: Be there for your children. Parents tryto compensate materially, giving all they can to theirchildren in terms of material wealth and gifts butin terms of compassion, the parents do not fulfillthat. When parents are at home, the father is oftenin front of the laptop, and the mother busy watchingTV programmes; of course the children learn notto be there for the parents, especially when theyare grown adults. These days, children are verystressed, they do not want more tuition classes, whatthey want are their parents. But they are not there tolisten to them and when something goes wrong, theparents yell and beat the children, and the childrendo not tell their parents their thoughts because theyknow the parents won’t listen being so busy. Soparental presence is very important, not just givingthe money.Awaken: How can Buddhist parents themselveslearn to be calmer, more loving and wiser?Venerables: Spend five minutes in quietnessand silence before you start your day, and do thatcollectively as a family. Learn to ask for input fromyour children, and do the mindfulness practices asa family. Slowly, you will find yourself calmer, moreloving and able to handle things and situations withgreater wisdom.Awaken: Any last words or simple tips or advice forBuddhist parents?Venerables: Spend more time listening to yourchildren, instead of telling them what to do. Bydoing so, you will slowly begin to understand yourchildren more in-depth as you listen to their feelings,emotions, thoughts and inner conflicts. To reallylisten, you have to be there in the present momentfor your children. Basically to love a person, youhave to understand him or her, and to understandhim or her, you have to first listen, listen to what isgoing on in his or her world, the problems at schooletc. Let your children know you are there for them,and that you are willing to listen to them.Ed: Watch out for the Mar 2010 Mindfulness Retreatconducted by Plum Village delegation in the monastery.Call 6849 5300 from Jan 2010 for more information.

Nurturing Inner KidsSusan Kaiser Greenland, Founder of InnerKids Foundation in the US speaks to EstherThien on what it is like teaching mindfulawareness to preschoolers.A path less travelledSusan Kaiser Greenland is a remarkablewoman. She gave up a well-paying law careerin the prime of her life to walk a path less travelled:teaching meditation to children as young as fouryears old.She ventured into uncharted waters nearly adecade ago and was amazed how much doing sohad completely changed her life. “It opened up myheart in a way I could not imagine it could, and Ifound myself surrounded by love in a way I neverknew was possible.” Walking this path has alsostrengthened her own spiritual practice. She set upthe Inner Kids Foundation ten years back to focuson the teaching of meditation and mindfulnesspractice to children because she felt that kids of thisgeneration are suffering. “The modern society tendsto label many perfectly healthy children as havingdisorders. For instance, more and more childrenare being labelled as hyperactive and havingAttention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or ADHD,which I think isn’t very helpful especially for youngchildren. There surely are children who sufferfrom attention deficits, but the question we shouldbe asking is how we can help them not what weshould call them. There is a little research out nowthat suggests mindful awareness training benefitsthose with ADHD, but not much given that researchon mindfulness and children in general remainsquite limited. One thing we do know though is thattraining in mindfulness encourages children tobring awareness and kindness to every situation,and be of service to others. With mindful awarenesstraining children understand that everything isinterconnected and begin to see those connectionsin their daily lives.”Vital self-care skillsThus, through games and activities, kids learnlife skills to help them focus their attention andcalm themselves when they are upset. They alsolearn the importance of listening carefully andwith empathy. “Through the simple practice ofmindfulness, they learn the Four Immeasurables,the Six Paramitas, humility, compassion andIssue 15 • September – December 2009 45Profilesawaken

Profilesawaken46loving-kindness, or what we call the new ABC’s —Attention, Balance, Compassion — all based on thesimple act of breathing mindfully.” Inner Kids isdedicated to nurturing children’s social, emotional,and intellectual well-being, through the practice ofmindful awareness to promote a more peaceful andcompassionate world, says Susan who was invitedby the monastery to conduct a 2-day workshop onInner kids programme in June this year.But, how can the mindful act of breathing ormindful awareness bring about compassion,you wonder. “When you have awareness of self,others and everything else including both innerand outer experiences, you become aware ofthe interconnection, the interdependence andthe intimacy of yourself, other beings and allphenomena. Because you see the suffering of others,compassion naturally arises in you. Developingunderstanding of the impermanence of situations,you would also be able to better tolerate and dealwith difficult circumstances. You become moreresilient mentally and emotionally.”Although it isn’t all a bed of roses — funding being aperpetual problem — and it is tough to find dedicatedpeople with rock solid experience in mindfulnesstraining who are good with kids, Susan says justhearing how the mindfulness practices havetransformed the way a child and his or her familylead their lives always make her day.So how do kids use mindful awareness in real-lifesituations, say when they are throwing a tantrum?“When children are upset, we use simple breathawareness activities to help them calm their mindsand bodies. These activities are based on classicalpractices known as mindfulness of in-and-outbreathing from the Anapanasati Sutta. As childrenlearn to use their breath to help them self-regulate,they can better look at their inner and outer lifeexperiences objectively in order to understandwhat’s happening in their lives, as it happens. If kidsbecome emotional during this process, that’s okay.They just use their calming skills to settle downand take another look. Kids continue in this wayuntil they see their experience clearly, calmly andobjectively. Then they can choose how to respond ina way that is in their best interest, and is kind andcompassionate to all those involved. For example, ifa child is bullied, he uses introspective practices toThe Bubble Game (Mindfulnessactivity for four- to eight-year-olds)Materials needed: a soft toy and a musicalinstrument, e.g. xylophone, drum etc1. Sit your child or children on the floor incircle.2. Tell the little one to imagine that he or sheis in a big transparent bubble of safety.3. Decorate the bubble according to his orher liking with all the beautiful things he orshe likes.4. Ask your little one to describe how thebubble is decorated.5. Then together, sway the body from sideto side to the verse, “Tick tock, tick tocklike a clock. And then we stop.” Resting inthe centre, we relax and let go of angryfeelings and anything that doesn’t makeus happy by breathing in and breathingout. (This can be done with the eyes closedif the child feels comfortable with it.)6. “Now open your eyes. Look at the toy inthe centre of the circle.” (Parent or teacherneeds to point to the toy.)7. “Raise your hand when the sound ofthe xylophone fades away.” (Parent orteacher hits the xylophone once.)Ed: Check out The Mindful Child, to be publishedin December 2009 for more info and tips on gamesand activities to do with your child, or email toinfo@innerkids.org. You can order the book fromAmazon.com.settle himself. Once settled, he may realise that theschool bully is bullying others because he himselfis unhappy and suffering. He will also come torealise that however unpleasant the experience is,it is impermanent. Seeing this calmly, clearly andobjectively, he will be able to respond in a wisemanner.”And what is it like teaching meditation to youngchildren and teenagers? “You have to like the kidsyou’re teaching, be they preschoolers or childrenin primary school. With young kids, classroommanagement can be challenging, in other wordshow to get them not to disturb their friends. Withadolescents, it is almost similar to teachings adults.You need instructors who are skilled and welltrainedin meditative practices. Kids tend to bemore interested in practising mindfulness whenthey understand how it might help them in theirlives and in achieving their goals.”

Successes of scientific studiesIn adults and late adolescents, practising mindfulness has beenshown to significantly improve general well-being, emotionalreactivity and physical health. Although the research onmindful awareness during childhood and early adolescenceis quite limited, the Inner Kids programme is one of the firstchildren’s mindfulness programmes to be studied by UCLA’sSemel Institute, a major research institute for a multiyear,multi-site research project. Not surprisingly, preliminaryresearch results are very promising.In three studies between 2006 and 2009 — the first of 46 fouryear-olds,the second of 64 seven to eight-year-old pupils,and the third of 52 four-year olds — researchers at UCLA’sSemel Institute found that mindfulness training improvedthe executive function (mental process of planning andorganisational skills) and the self-regulatory ability in childrenas young as four.In another study in 2007, 40 families that were randomly pickedwith really obese children aged eight to 12 were researched.20 of these children took a mindfulness class which focusedon mindful eating and awareness of eating, while the other20 were placed on an eight-week exercise class. Both groupsgave the same results. Both demonstrated an improvement inweight loss and fitness level at two months. Even one year later,they were still able to keep their weight off. “This shows thatmindful awareness allows the children to better understandwhat is happening to them and their bodies which may havemotivated them to eat and live more healthily,” explains Susan.However she cautions that as all of the research on practisingmindfulness with children is still quite early, many questionsremain to be asked. "Nevertheless, these early results are quitepromising."Role of parentsIndeed, helping children to understandtheir own meditative experiences is keyin this programme, emphasises Susan.“It is all important when practisingwith kids.” And since no system is moreemotionally connected than a familywhere challenging emotions that affecta parent or child will often escalate byspreading infectiously among othermembers of the family, the whole familyshould be involved if possible, and learnas much as they can about mindfulnesspractice. Otherwise, it will be hardfor the children if the family cannotreinforce the practices at home. “It willbe best if the parents can learn these selfcareskills too, since children learn mostfrom their own parents. Not everyoneagrees with me, but I believe it’s our civicand parental responsibilities as adultsto model ethical behaviour for the nextgeneration, helping kids contextualiseand apply to daily life the conceptsof patience, generosity, happiness forthe good fortune of others, humility,compassion, equanimity, etc.”“Finally, never give up and always loveyour child for the unique being he or sheis.”What is the one area you think is lacking in oursociety?In the US, it is rejoicing for the good fortune of others. MostAmericans are so highly competitive that it robs them of theability to be happy for others when they see others receive apromotion, buy a new car or house etc. So I think it is importantto teach our children how to be happy for the good fortune ofothers.What is the first step for parents who wouldlike to teach mindfulness to their children?Attend a basic mindfulness meditation class and practisedaily. Once you understand what it is all about and have directexperience of the introspective practices, find a method throughtrial and error (e.g. paying attention to sounds) that works foryour child and practise it regularly with him or her.ProfilesawakenIssue 15 • September – December 2009 47

the postures consistent and equal. You might get theidea from this that it means you should stand, walk,sit and lie down for the same number of hours ineach posture. When you hear such a teaching, youcan’t figure out what it really means, because it’stalking in the way of Dhamma, not in the ordinarysense. “OK, I’ll sit for two hours, stand for two hoursand then lie down for two hours.’’ You probablythink like this. That’s what I did. I tried to practisein this way, but it didn’t work out.It’s because of not listening in the right way, merelylistening to the words. “Making the postures even”refers to the mind, nothing else.Featuresawaken48Listeningbeyond WordsBY | Ajahn ChahReally, the teachings of the Buddha all makesense. Things you wouldn’t imagine reallyare so. It’s strange. At first I didn’t have any faithin sitting in meditation. I thought, what valuecould that possibly have? Then there was walkingmeditation - I walked from one tree to another, backand forth, back and forth, and I got tired of it andthought, ‘’What am I walking for? Just walking backand forth doesn’t have any purpose.’’ That’s how Ithought. But in fact walking meditation has a lot ofvalue. Sitting to practise samadhi ¯ has a lot of value.But the temperaments of some people make themconfused about walking or sitting meditation.We can’t meditate in only one posture. There arefour postures for humans: standing, walking, sittingand lying down. The teachings speak about makingIt means making the mind brightand clear so that wisdom arises, sothat there is knowledge of whateveris happening in all postures andsituations. Whatever the posture,you know phenomena and states ofmind for what they are, meaningthat they are impermanent,unsatisfactory and not your self.The mind remains established inthis awareness at all times and inall postures.When the mind feels attraction, when it feelsaversion, you don’t lose the path, but you knowthese conditions for what they are. Your awarenessis steady and continuous, and you are letting gosteadily and continuously. You are not fooled bygood conditions. You aren’t fooled by bad conditions.You remain on the straight path. This can be called“making the postures even.” It refers to the internal,not the external; it is talking about the mind.If we do make the postures even with the mind,then when we are praised, it is just so much. If weare slandered, it is just so much. We don’t go up ordown with them but remain steady. Why is this?Because we see the danger in these things. Wesee equal danger in praise and in criticism; this iscalled making the postures even. We have this innerawareness, whether we are looking at internal orexternal phenomena.

In the ordinary way of experiencing things, when we shouldn’t practise sitting or walking meditation.something good appears, we have a positive So at first we have to hold without tight attachment.reaction, and when something bad appears, we have You can say this is tanha, ¯ but it will become paramı. ¯ ¯a negative reaction. Like this, the postures are not For instance, you came here to Wat Pah Pong; beforeeven. If they are even, we always have awareness. you did that, you had to have the desire to come.We will know when we are grasping at good and With no desire, you wouldn’t have come. We cangrasping at bad - this is better. Even though we can’t say you came with desire; it’s like holding. Thenyet let go, we are aware of these states continuously. you will go back; that’s like not grasping. Just likeBeing continuously aware of ourselves and our having some uncertainty about what this object is,attachments, we will come to see that such grasping then picking it up, seeing it’s a flashlight and puttingis not the path. We know but can’t let go: that’s 50 it down. This is holding but not grasping, or to speakpercent. Though we can’t let go, we do understand more simply, knowing and letting go. Picking up tothat letting go of these things will bring peace. We look, knowing and letting go – knowing and puttingsee the danger in the things we like and dislike. We down. Things may be said to be good or bad, but yousee the danger in praise and blame. This awareness merely know them and let them go. You are aware ofis continuous.all good and bad phenomena and you are letting goof them. You don’t grasp them with ignorance. YouSo whether we are being praised or criticised, we grasp them with wisdom and put them down.are continuously aware. For worldly people, whenthey are criticised and slandered, they can’t bear it; In this way the postures can be even and consistent.it hurts their hearts. When they are praised, they are It means the mind is able. The mind has awarenesspleased and excited. This is what is natural in the and wisdom is born. When the mind has wisdom,world. But for those who are practising, when there then what could there be beyond that? It picks thingsis praise, they know there is danger. When there is up but there is no harm. It is not grasping tightly, butblame, they know the danger. They know that being knowing and letting go. Hearing a sound, we willattached to either of these brings ill results. They know, “The world says this is good,” and we let goare all harmful if we grasp at them and give them of it. The world may say, “This is bad,” but we let go.meaning.We know good and evil. Someone who doesn’t knowgood and evil attaches to good and evil and suffersWhen we have this kind of awareness, we know as a result. Someone with knowledge doesn’t havephenomena as they occur. We know that if we form this attachment.attachments to phenomena, there really will besuffering. If we are not aware, then grasping at what Let’s consider: For what purpose are we living?we conceive of as good or bad, suffering is born. What do we want from our work? We are living inWhen we pay attention, we see this grasping; we this world; for what purpose are we living? We dosee how we catch hold of the good and the bad and our work; what do we want to get from our work? Inhow this causes suffering. So at first we are grasping the worldly way, people do their work because theyhold of things and with awareness seeing the fault want certain things and this is what they considerin that. How is that? It’s because we grasp tightly logical. But the Buddha’s teaching goes a stepand experience suffering. Then we will start to seek beyond this. It says, do your work without desiringa way to let go and be free. “What should I do to be anything. In the world, you do this to get that; youfree?” we ponder.do that to get this; you are always doing somethingin order to get something as a result. That’s the wayBuddhist teachings say not to have grasping of worldly folk. The Buddha says, work for the sakeattachment, not to hold tightly to things. We don’t of work without wanting anything.understand this fully. The point is to hold, but nottightly. For example, I see this object in front of me. Whenever we work with the desire for something,I am curious to know what it is, so I pick it up and we suffer. Check this out.look: it’s a flashlight. Now I can put it down. That’sholding but not tightly. If we are told not to hold to Copyright The Sangha, Wat Nong Pah Ponganything at all, then what can we do? We will thinkIssue 15 • September – December 2009 49awaken Features

Reconnection atHanshan TempleVincent Lim Sui-Leongenvisions Hanshan Temple asa grand inn where travellersconverge before moving on.Featuresawaken50月 落 乌 啼 霜 满 天 Under a setting moon, the cawing ofa crow fills the frosty sky江 枫 渔 火 对 愁 眠 Beneath maple trees, my sleepdisturbed by fishermen’s light姑 苏 城 外 寒 山 寺 From Cold Mountain Temple beyondthe walls of Suzhou夜 半 钟 声 到 客 船 The sound of the bell reaches thislone traveller’s boat at midnightThe Famous BellWith economy of words and simplicityof expression, Zhang Ji ( 张 继 ) succinctlycaptured the melancholy of a homesick travellerin his poem, Night Mooring at Maple Bridge ( 枫 桥夜 泊 ), when he docked at Maple Bridge in front ofHanshan Temple ( 寒 山 寺 ) more than 1,000 years ago.He had made five trips to the capital for his imperialexaminations but had failed it each time. After hisfifth attempt, he was depressed he had not made itgood in life and his hair was greying.He could have imagined it all for this poem sincefishermen do not usually fish at night. Also perhapsonly on New Year Eve, who in the right mind wouldtoll the temple bell at that unearthly hour? Andhave you ever heard a crow caw after dark? Yet thispoem became immensely popular because scholarswho had flunked the examination felt that he wasdescribing their own state of mind. Hanshan Templeand its great bronze bell became famous becauseof Zhang Ji’s poem and attracted pilgrims from allover China and Japan. However, the temple becamethe victim of its own fame when Japanese piratesraided it in the 17th century and looted the bell. Thepresent bell that I heard today as I approached thesaffron-yellow walls of this venerable 1,600-yearoldcomplex was donated by Japanese Buddhists inthe early part of the 20th century to apologise forthe theft.The Origin of the Temple’s NameUnlike Zhang Ji, I visited the temple on a hot andsticky summer, adding one more headcount to thehordes of perhaps irreverent tourists. I had initiallythought that the temple was named after thelegendary poet-monk Hanshan ( 寒 山 ), who reputedlylived on Mount Tientai ( 天 台 山 ) with his companionShi-te ( 拾 得 ) ─ both believed to be bodhisattvaemanations. The duo were said to have vanishedunder mysterious circumstances, leaving behinda collection of Zen poems for posterity. My guide,however, told me a very different story.

Hanshan was a plain, ordinary monk, who as a child, was constantly at loggerheads with hiscolleague Shi-te. Exasperated at their constant bickering and recalcitrance to his advice, theteacher expelled both of them from the temple. When they returned to the temple many yearslater as grown men, they found that their teacher had passed away and had left each of thema box. Upon opening the boxes, Hanshan found a lily and Shi-te a vase. Placing the two itemstogether, they finally realised the intention of their teacher ─ harmony ( 和 平 , he ping) ─ aword play that combines the Chinese names for lily ( 荷 花 , he hua) and vase ( 花 瓶 , hua ping).Later, Hanshan became the abbot of the temple while Shi-te went to Japan to teach the Dharma.Recently, I did a Google search and uncovered several other versions of the story ─ each vastlydifferent from the others. I have since given up trying to find out the origin of the temple’s name.Special Features of the TempleThere are the usual impressive gilded statues in the main hall, but the special features of HanshanTemple are to be found at the periphery. Behind the main hall, locals pray for harmoniousrelationships before the images of Hanshan and Shi-te. The pair resembled carefree schoolboyslaughing at the self-imposed neuroses of mundane people like us, so I thought.Apparently forsaken by the crowd, life-sized busts of three great Buddhist masters arehonoured in a dusty hall dimly lit by flickering candles and swathed in clouds of incense. Inthe prime position at the centre of the hall sits the pensive Tripitaka Master Xuan Zhuang ( 玄 奘 ).Renowned as one of the greatest translators of all time in the history of Buddhism in China, hehad risked life and limb to bring back numerous volumes of scriptures and treatises from India.His adventures have been romanticised in the popular fiction Journey to the West ( 西 游 记 ). To oneside stood the solemn Jian Zhen ( 鑑 真 ), a Chinese monk who also taught Buddhism in Japan. Hisneighbour is Kukai ( 空 海 ), the Japanese monk who sailed to China during the Tang Dynasty tostudy Tantric Buddhism, before returning to Japan to found the esoteric Shingon School ( 真 言 宗 ).I envisioned Hanshan Temple as a grand guesthouse wheretravellers converge before moving on ─ Zhang Ji en-route hisway home from the capital seeking solace in the echoes of themidnight bell, monks who came from all parts of East Asia tolearn and teach Buddhism, and sentient beings en-route toultimate peace.I ascended the imposing Pu Ming Pagoda ( 普 明 塔 ) and surveyed thepanorama of Suzhou ( 苏 州 ) from the top. Despite rapid industrialisation,the city retains an understated and graceful charm characteristic of theJiangnan ( 江 南 ) region. I felt a sense of déjà vu seeing the waterways ofthe Grand Canal with arching stone bridges and the occasional odd bargechugging through murky waters, temple buildings with upturned eavesand intricate carvings, quaint streets fronted by vintage houses withcalligraphic signboards and walled compounds concealing classical rockand-bonsaigardens with fine views at every turn.Issue 15 • Septemaber – December 2009In moments such as this, when the veneer of your present existence dropsaway, you experience a sense of reconnection with your past long beforeyour birth. When even the veneer of contrived thoughts and actions hasfallen apart, one will be in touch with his timeless pristine nature, likethe open sky above this pagoda.▲Kukai statueFeaturesawaken51

7The Guidelines In Which To Educate ChildrenDo You Know...awaken52Kindness and DelightThe first quality is kindness. Children shouldbe encouraged in the practice of kindness dayand night, not just with their fellow human beings,including their enemies, but also with animals. Thesecond quality that they should be taught is that ofdelighting or rejoicing when good things happen toothers. If someone else has found a new companion,a beautiful house or a new car, or his job or businessis going well, and so forth, it is important to feelhappy and rejoice thinking: “How wonderful it isthat the person has this.” This doesn’t mean thatyou want that thing for yourself, but that you thinkhow wonderful it is that another sentient being hasfound happiness. Delighting in others’ good fortunekeeps the mind happy and at peace. It brings abouta healthy mind and a life that is full of ups, ratherthan downs. It is one of the best Dharma practices,meditations and psychologies.These two attitudes, kindness and rejoicing, canbe taught to children without the need for you toexplain, and without the need for them to believe,that they are creating good karma. This is becauseeven without telling them that, they still create goodkarma. In reality when they practise kindness andrejoicing, because they create good karma, it willbring success and happiness to their lives. From oneact of kindness or one act of rejoicing, they will havesuccess and happiness, not only in this life, but forhundreds of thousands of lifetimes because karmahas the characteristic of expanding over time. Thisis the case for both positive karma which brings thegood result of happiness, and for negative karmawhich brings the bad result of suffering. In eithercase the result expands — from one small karma,or one small action, results are experienced forhundreds of thousands of lifetimes. Therefore, even

Issue 15 • September – December 2009if it is not appropriate to explainkarma to children in a public schoolsetting, for example, in reality theywill still create good karma witheach act of kindness and rejoicingand it will bring good health andthousands of successes even in thisvery life.If they practise kindness, theirmind will always be happy andhealthy. Likewise, a rejoicing mindis a happy mind. When the mind ishappy, the body becomes healthy,and even the chances of heart attackand other illnesses that come fromanger and selfishness are greatlyreduced. In fact, researchers haveseen that angry people have far morelikelihood than people who aremore patient of having a heart attackor stroke. I once read an article ina Delhi newspaper by a doctor inwhich he said that in his experienceheart attacks are caused by talkingbadly about other people. I thinkthere is a lot to be learned from whatthis doctor said in that if you put anegative label on a life situation,then it will appear negative. If yousee your life or another person’ssituation in a negative light, it willmake you unhappy. It will disturbyour mind. And in the long term this will result inhigh blood pressure that can eventually lead to aheart attack.In short, your children have to create good karmafrom their own side in order to experience happinessand success. Just as a beggar on the street is notnourished by someone eating delicious food in anexpensive restaurant, likewise your child will notexperience happiness as a result of the good karmacreated by his or her parents.PatienceThe third quality is patience. Patience, the oppositeof anger, stops your child from harming himselfor herself, and keeps this child from harmingnumberless sentient beings as well. It therefore stopsyour child from creating an unbelievable amountof negative karma. To stop harming himself orherself and others, including animals, and insteadpractise patience has the positive effect in futurelives of continuing to be patient and not harmingothers. Thus, not only in this life, but also from lifeto life, your child will bring happiness, not only tothis world, but to the sentient beings of differentworlds. All this comes from the positive imprintsof practising patience left on the mind in this life.In addition, even in this life he or she will bringpeace and happiness to your family, to theneighbours, and to the entire world. It has happenedmany times in the history of the world that peoplein powerful positions did not practise patience andinstead killed many people, including children.Practising and training the mind in patience nowwill help your child avoid becoming angry and bemore patient even in future lives. Thus, the effectcontinues into future lives, whereby he or she willhave ever more patience and be ever more careful torefrain from harming sentient beings. As a result,what sentient beings will receive from your child isfirst peace and then enlightenment.ContentmentThe next important quality that children needto develop is contentment. There is an enormousneed for contentment and satisfaction, given thatthe problem with so many young people is a lackof this quality; because they lack contentment, theyget involved in drugs and are unable even to live anormal life, let alone practise the Dharma. Havingentered into the vicious cycle of addiction to alcoholand drugs, they become unable to hold down a job,and eventually totally destroy their entire life. Theirlife becomes completely submersed in problems foryears and years, it is as though they are sinking inquicksand, unable to get out.By practising contentment on the other hand, theirlife will be protected from bad habits that wouldruin and waste their life, not doing anything usefulfor others and causing a lot of trouble for themselves.In fact, many problems occur in the world as a resultof a lack of contentment. Even wealthy people,millionaires and billionaires, end up in prison afterhaving been found to have embezzled funds thatin reality they have no need for. Contentment istherefore very important for our mental peace.Do You Know...awaken53

ForgivenessWhen someone harms you or disrespects you,the best response is forgiveness. Forgiveness isextremely important. If you are able to forgiveothers, it will bring peace to your heart and theheart of the other person. There will be peace inyour mind and in your life. Then, one by one, youwill be able to bring peace to the rest of the peoplein the world, including your own family. If, on theother hand, you are unable to bring peace to theworld, the purpose of your human life will be lost.One time in the United States I saw an interviewon TV with a mother whose daughter had beenkidnapped, raped and killed by a man. I don’t thinkwill not hold a grudge against you. With forgivenessyou yourself do not hold a grudge against others,with humility the other person does not hold agrudge against you. This is one way that you canmake a significant contribution to world peace.CourageThe last of these seven qualities that are particularlyessential for children is courage. Many people havethe tendency to think, “I am hopeless,” and putthemselves down. It’s as if they have no potential, nogood qualities. With courage, your child can buildup the mental fortitude that is needed to develop thequalities that will enable him or her to lead othersto happiness.One way to develop courage is thinkthat with the eight freedoms andten advantages of a precious humanrebirth, we can achieve the threegreat meanings (creating the causesfor the happiness of future lives,liberation from samsara, and fullenlightenment), not just in this life butagain and again. Thinking in this waygives the courage needed to engagein the practice of a spiritual path inthis very life. Courage is so importantin the West where there are so manypeople who are depressed, who thinkthat their life is meaningless, and whoeven end up committing suicide.awaken Do You Know...54she was a Buddhist, but when she was interviewedshe said that she didn’t want that man to be killed;instead she forgave him. That attitude is so amazing.Although she did not seem to be a Buddhist, she hadan unbelievably good heart. Another time a manwho had been shot six times was interviewed, andhe too said that he did not want to kill the man whohad shot him. He too was not a Buddhist, but still hewas so kind and had such an incredibly good heart.HumilityWhen you do something that harms another person— for example, you insult someone or get angrywith someone — you should immediately apologisefor your mistake. That will bring peace to your ownheart as well as the heart of that person and he or sheThe reason why I am promoting theseparticular qualities for children isthat they can be used as a basis for educating them.These guidelines give a clear idea ofhow to bring up children so that insteadof a child harming himself or herselfand his or her family, he or she will beable from life to life to bring benefit tothe world, to the surrounding people,and to his or her family.Other people will receive unbelievable benefitand happiness from the person who puts theseguidelines into practice. That person will be able todo so many good things for others.

Parents Have an Enormous ResponsibilityBecause parents spend so much time with theirchild, they have an incredible influence on him orher. However, even though the outcome has much todo with the parents, the child still has his or her ownindividual karma, so it doesn’t mean that the childwill do everything that the parents say. The childmay in fact not listen to his or her parents. Or becauseof strong karma from past lives, the child’s life mayturn out to be something completely different fromthe education that he or she has received. In spiteof this, parents need to take responsibility to helptheir children and need to have a clear idea abouthow to educate them. If they don’t have a clear ideaof how to direct a child’s life in a positive way, thenthe child’s future will not be clear. In that case, theirhaving become parents will be a great loss. Manygood things could have happened to the child, butbecause the parents did not have a clear idea aboutparenting, the child’s whole life could turn into oneof suffering and problems.Parenting Made WorthwhileThe conclusion is that even if a child can simplydevelop the first of these seven qualities, kindness,with everyone he or she meets, the effect onother people will be amazing. It would be worththe parents' suffering each time the child doessomething positive. For nine months, the mothercarried the child in her womb, bearing all sorts ofdifficulties. After the child is born, the parentswork so hard to earn money to build or buy ahouse. The parents themselves would have gonefrom kindergarten to primary school and then onto college in order to get an education that wouldenable them to find a job and earn enough money tobuy a house for their future children. They spendso many years of sacrifice for their child before andafter he or she is born. Just living with a child bringsso much exhaustion, tiredness, worry and fears. Butwhatever difficult times the parents went throughin the past, it all becomes worthwhile. Therefore,my conclusion is that if a child is brought up witha clear plan for his or her life to be beneficial tosentient beings (or at least to this world, the country,the neighbours, the surrounding people and thefamily), practising a good heart, refraining fromharming others, or even just by practising the firstguideline — kindness — then it would be worth themany years of worry and suffering of the parents.There is an expression: “An apple a day keeps thedoctor away.”Likewise, if once a day a childpractises the good heart or doesone act of kindness, this will keepdifficulties away for the parents. Allthe unbelievable sufferings, worries,and fears that they experienced for thatchild will become worthwhile and theparents will be able to rejoice.They will see the results of the efforts that theymade to educate their child. So you must do that,otherwise parenting will not become Dharma; itwill be done out of total attachment and has nothingto do with Dharma. There would have been so muchsuffering, worry and fear, so much exhaustion andhard work, but in the end the child would not havea good life.There won’t be any contentment; life will becomean experience of unbelievable suffering. Likewise,for the child there will be much suffering; his orher life will become only suffering. Everything willbe very difficult and there will be no contentment.Besides the child’s own problems, there will be somuch suffering for the parents and the entire family,so much extra worry and fear concerning the child.Your entire life will pass with nothing but sufferingand then death will happen. This is how things goin samsara.This article is an excerpt from Planned Parenting: How toMake Having Children Meaningful by Kyabje Thubten ZopaRinpoche. Edited by Ven Joan Nicell and Jonathan Landaw.Do You Know...awakenIssue 15 • September – December 2009 55

BY | Tay Pei YeeTo Love withDisciplineToday I feel awfully guilty, frustrated and angrywith myself. I had lost my patience with myson, Tristan a few times when he refused to listen. Ifelt stretched to my limits as I battled within howto apply the Waldorf techniques I had learnt. Butbeing physically tired, I took the easy way out— the way that I had seen in most traditionalAsian families, the threat to punish their kids.Despite Tristan being a tender two-year-old, I threatenedto spank his bottom and I did so in the afternoon when he would notnap after dragging the sleep routine by over an hour. I was drained, notgetting my way and worried that my little one was not getting the sleephe required.Something to PonderawakenThough, he still called me “mummy” and kissed me good night at theend of the day, I felt immense guilt for my poor performance as a mother.Despite my lofty aspirations to be a conscious spiritual mum, the physicalchallenge is immense. I find myself being pushed to my wit’s end oftendue to my own expectations, self-distrust and self-doubt. Is what I’mdoing right and good for my son? Or am I indulging him too much or overrestraininghis growing spirits?Like most parents, I am bogged down with balancing the needs to meetthe middle path of “to love with discipline” (technique of teaching withlove and devotion). Oh! If only I had the wisdom and compassion of thegreat Buddha! Won’t that be great! More often than not, the patience wearsout due to my own limitations and unmet needs. If only I have abundantenergy and the mental focus to place myself in my son’s shoes always,then I am sure I can apply creative discipline with effortless efficacy!56

At the end of the day, I realise mypersonal Dharma work is to move onand forgive myself, and to ask for moreguidance and strength from the TripleGem to do a better job for the new daythat is dawning.Tristan is definitely going to wake up with a sleepygaze and to call out “mummy” smilingly. I have tolet go of my unhealthy guilt and be with him inrenewed strength and faith. Can I do it? I’ll just haveto give myself the chance, for to love him fully is tofirst bring that love within to myself.If I want to allow him the freedom to make mistakes,to learn and to grow, then I would have to embracethis gift myself – modelling and showing it to himthrough practice. I am just a human after all, stilllearning from life’s every lesson.one’s constant awareness in spiritual practice. Forspiritually aspiring parents, the challenge is that thefreedom to choose rest is limited most of the time.Being one who is not mild-natured to begin with, Icannot fully imagine the realm of those who seem soconstantly patient and loving. If I continue to walkthis path long enough as required by my spiritualgrowth, I may one day be as transformed.Today, I salute the brave individuals who have takenthis path of parenthood.Today, I deepen my understanding that being aparent, though with its numerous indescribablejoys, is never easy.Today, I let go of my judgment on how good parentsshould be, and understand truly that we are all justdoing and trying the best that we can, within ourlimits.Balancing inner spiritual work with a fatigued bodyis certainly a test, as it demands increased efforts inLet the compassion and wisdom from within usshine forth.AWAKEN to…Compassion & Wisdom on the journey of life…Published three times a year by Kong Meng San Phor Kark SeeMonastery, AWAKEN is a FREE bilingual Buddhist magazinethat aims to help readers gain insight and make sense of life’sjourney using the Dharma.Get your free copy from these outlets:SINGAPORE BUDDHIST FEDERATION375 Race Course Road S(218644)SINGAPORE BUDDHIST LODGE17 Kim Yam Road S(239329)TAI PEI BUDDHIST CENTRE2 Lavender Street S(338823)CI YAN VEGETARIAN HEALTH FOOD8/10 Smith Street S(058917)AWARENESS PLACEBlk 231 Bain Street #01-63Bras Brasah Complex S(180231)THE HERBS HOME101 Upper Cross Street #02-55People’s Park Centre S(058357)GREENPEACEInternational Plaza #02-1910 Anson Road S(079903)*whilst stocks lastSomething to PonderawakenIssue 15 • September – December 2009 57

The Monkey TrapIn Asia, monkeys are caught in a very special way. The trapperfirst hollows out a coconut, leaving a hole just big enough fora monkey to slip its hand in, but not big enough for the monkey topull its fist out. He then places some peanuts in the coconut andputs it in a spot where monkeys usually visit. Sometimes, thiscoconut could also be attached by a rope to a tree or staked to theground. Before leaving the coconut behind, he would scatter somepeanuts around the coconut.Sooner or later, a curious monkey would comealong. It would first eat the peanuts on the groundsbefore discovering that the coconut is full ofpeanuts. When it slides its hand into the hole tohelp itself to the peanuts, it would be unable topull its fist out from the hole. The monkey wouldbe stuck there!No matter how hard the monkey struggles, it cannot get free.It would cry out loud and become more and more anxious.Actually all the monkey has to do is to let go of the peanuts,and it will be able to escape. But it does not want to do that.Finally, of course, the trapper catches the monkey easily.Buddhist TalesawakenNo one is keeping the monkey captive, except theforce of its own attachment. All that it has to do is torelease its fist. But so strong is the force of greed inthe mind that rarely does the monkey that's trappedlet go.The desires and clinging in our minds keep ustrapped. All we need to do is to open up, let go of ourattachment and be free.— adapted from The Experience of Insight by JosephGoldstein58

Repentance of theUgly PrincessADAPTED BY | Esther ThienLong,long ago, King Prasenajit had a daughterwho was very ugly. Although she was ofroyal birth, nobody wanted her hand in marriage.In desperation, the king found a young man from aslum area. He bequeathed him a high-ranking postwith a good salary on the condition that he mustmarry the princess.Ashamed of his wife’s appearance, the young mandid not take her out with him. As days passed, hisfriends began to wonder if it was because she wastoo beautiful to be shown to others. One day, theydecided to get him drunk, take his house keys andinvestigate the truth. Although she had been lockedaway, the princess felt sorry for her husband tohave to tolerate her looks. She knew that her uglyappearance must have been the result of her pastbad karma and devoutly she prayed in repentancebefore the Buddha's image everyday.The miraculous transformation of the princess soonreached the ears of the king and queen who weremost delighted. To show their gratitude, they cametogether to the Jetavana Vihara to make offerings tothe Buddha and his Bhikshus. With joined palms,King Prasenajit asked: “O Lord! Would you kindlyreveal to me my daughter's past deeds which hadcaused her to be born as a princess but yet be soStrangely enough, as she repented in earnest, her ugly?rough hands began to get smooth and fair, while hertiny eyes slowly turned sparkling and big. As sheprayed to the Buddha further, she became elegantand gracious. When the young man’s friends sawthat his wife was such a beauty, they went back andteased him for being selfish in hiding her from them.The Buddha answered: “Every person's appearance isa result of his or her karma accrued from past deeds.It is no coincidence that rewards and retributionsfollow us like shadows.” Then the Buddharecounted to the king how the princess had in thepast abused and slighted anArhat of fruition, and howshe subsequently begged forLife is short, and its transience is often compared to that of foam andforgiveness. Although partbubbles. Some people go after sensual love and pleasures, and live deludedof her negative karma hadand troubled lives. Others abstain from sensual desires, leading lives ofpure, cool solitude. Being noble and modest hinges on one’s thoughts. Forthe benefit of our personal progress and emotional well-being, we need toknow the importance of repentance. We must always reflect on what webeen eradicated, she still hadto suffer an ugly appearancedespite a royal birth. Thehave done wrong, who we have wronged, and what we have overlooked Buddha's revelation hadetc. If we can do this daily, we will become more accommodating and thespiritual quality of our lives would rise. But if we live day-to-day in the gripof our passions, chained by the prison of our internal desires and externalstimuli, we will be unable to free ourselves from our fears and resentment,strengthened the faith of all,and they did not have anymore doubt about the law ofcause and effect.and our lives will just be an absolute torture. People who are willing torepent would not only transform their mind, but also their appearance.Buddhist TalesawakenIssue 15 • September – December 2009 59

Buddhist Talesawaken60Self-induced KarmaADAPTED BY | Esther ThienIn another story, King Prasenajit had a daughter is strong and impartial.who was bright and pretty. She was loved by “The Buddha's wordsher parents and respected by everyone in the palace. are true. We bear theOne day, the king said to her: “My daughter! Born results of what we haveas a princess, you are enjoying this luxury of fine done.” Once again, he visitedthe Buddha. “O Lord, whatclothes and gourmet food, and loved by all becauseof my patronage.”karma had my daughter done in her past to havea royal birth and a beautiful appearance?”As the princess had learnt about the Dharma, andunderstood the law of karma, she replied: “My “Ninety-one kalpas ago, there was a Buddha. Whenfather! All merits are self-created and are not given that Buddha had gone into Nirvana, a king had builtby others. What I possess today is the accumulated a pagoda made of seven kinds of gems to honour hisresult of my past karma and not given by you.” relics. His queen placed an ornated crown on theKing Prasenajit was very upset at his daughter's head of the Buddha's image, and also placed pearlsimpudence when he received the same answer from the crown to the sides of the entrance door.thrice to what he had said.Their glitter illuminated the areas around, and thequeen made this wish: ‘In my future life, I wish to“If you really think you have so much merits, I would have a radiant appearance and be rich and noble.like to see how much you have,” he replied angrily. I hope I will never fall into the three evil paths orThen he ordered his minister to pick a poor young the eight calamities.’ That queen is your daughterman from the city to marry his daughter. “If you’re now. Then, in the era of Buddha Kashyapa, therereally blessed with good fortune from your past lived a woman who wanted to offer exquisite foodkarma, and did not enjoy your present wealth and to the Buddha but was stopped by her husband.respect because of me, your future will be equally ‘Do not stop me. It is because of my offering to thegood.” “I have my own store of merits,” answered Tathagata that I have obtained my present wealth.’the princess with confidence, and with that she left The husband therefore relented. That man is nowwith her penniless husband.the husband of your daughter, and that woman isthe princess. Because of the husband’s original“Are your parents still alive?” asked the princess to intent to hinder the offering, her husband was bornher husband. “No. My father was a venerated elder in in poverty. His subsequent consent to the offeringSravasti. Unfortunately, both my parents passed away had brought about his eventual wealth as a resultone after another, leaving me with no one to rely on. of his wife.” Having heard this discourse by theI thus have to beg for a living.” “Then do you know Buddha, King Prasenajit deeply understood the lawwhere your old home is?” ”I know the location, but it of karma. He became modest but contented, and leftis now just a derelict plot of land.” The princess then in bliss.followed her husband to see the abandonedland. Walking around, the groundBlessings of fortune and longevity are not the making of gods andsuddenly caved in and exposed treasuresspirits, nor can they be influenced by a third party. We ourselvesof gold and jewels. With these new-foundhave to nurture the cause before the effect of longevity and blessingsriches, they built a magnificent palace and can be reaped. When the fruition of blessings is timely, it will comeemployed many servants.unstoppable like the tidal waves. But when the time is inopportune,even fortune that appears right before our eyes will vanish.One day, King Prasenajit asked about hisWe have to use well this precious human life and the good conditionsdaughter. “The princess now owns a palacewith wealth comparable to you, mywe now have, and diligently cultivate a pure heart, doing all thatis virtuous and wholesome. In this way, the delicious fruit of goodlord,” replied an attendant. King Prasenajitfinally believed that the force offortune and eventually enlightenment will certainly follow.karma

BY | Shen Shi’anSEENIsn’t goodness worthier than pride and glory?> Buddha's Lost ChildrenProduced by: Ton OkkerseStarring: Abbot Phra Khru Bah Neua Chai KosittoAs its tagline goes, Buddha's Lost Children (BLC) is indeed “a breathtakingtrue story of compassion and tough love”. A multiple award-winningdocumentary of how a courageous and generous monk (Abbot Khru BahNeua Chai Kositto) plays surrogate spiritual father to orphaned, abandonedand disadvantaged children, it is truly a life-affirming account of howunconditional goodness and sincerity can thrive in a world that seems soharsh and austere at times.Probably the best of creative Buddhist social work in action, skilfulmeans are witnessed aplenty in this film. In charge of the Golden HorseMonastery in Thailand near the borders of the infamous Golden Triangle,Abbot Khru Bah is the spiritual mentor and mediator of some 20 villages,most of which are isolated and impoverished by the drug history of the area. His self-appointedmission was to undertake the dangerous but worthy task of ensuring the presence of the Dharmathere. His monastery is also home to some 120 horses saved from slaughterhouses which he cared forwith meticulous compassion. He even delays a lengthy horseback trek to a distant village — so as tobless and heal a fallen horse. The Abbot thus teaches his novice monks the importance of loving allbeings. As he put it, "Taking care of your horse is like looking in a mirror. Looking after your horse isas important as looking after yourself."The horses and the children have a symbiotic and interdependent relationship, as they teach eachother the value of patience, gratitude and community. The monks also have a symbiotic relationshipwith the villagers, some of whom offer alms food and other necessities to them. With no intention tohoard but only to share, it is deeply touching to see the very same monks share their surplus alms withpoorer villagers.Although the Abbot uses some unconventional ways to teach life skills to the children, he is deeplyhumane, forgiving, humorous and even heroic. One of the methods he uses is to see tattooing as aspiritual test — for the novices who are willing to take it. “Tattooing is a test to see if we can take ourminds off our bodies. If the mind remains on the body, it will hurt a lot." He offers his blessings thuswhen a novice has a completed tiger tattoo on his chest - "May you be a good person, and keep to theteachings of the Buddha. May you have courage and strength, like a tiger. And may your life be strong,with a heart that is true. May you have endurance, authority and honour. May you lead a full andhappy life.”The Abbot was a former champion of Muay Thai (a native form of boxing with aspects of spirituality),who renounced the worldly life to tread the spiritual path. Using his expert know-how while removingaggression from the art, he trains the novices in Muay Thai as a fun form of exercise and self-defence,given the dangerous areas they live in. It also nurtures a sense of humility, confidence, independence,leadership and self-reliance. Meditation is also used for education and rehabilitation for thoserecovering from drug addiction.While the novices see the Abbot as their role model, he sees the Buddha as his example to emulate.The Abbot currently hopes the monastery will have a more stable income for building schools, and foremployment of full-time teachers and helpers. For information on how you can support the cause ofGolden Horse Monastery, please visit www.BuddhasLostChildren.com.Seen, Heard & Read...awakenIssue 15 • September – December 200961

BY | Esther Thien>READBe a Mindful Mother who does Parenting with Buddhist WisdomBuddhism for Mothers of Young ChildrenBy Sarah NapthaliNow a mother of a seven- and a four-year old, Sarah writes from her personalexperience coupled with stories from other mothers on how spiritual andmindful parenting can help all mothers to be more open, attentive andcontent. A reader-friendly book containing useful nuggets of wisdom. Buy itfrom Awareness Place at S$27.90.>Karma Kids : Answering Everyday Parenting Questionswith Buddhist WisdomBy Greg HoldenA child is a bell of mindfulness, reminding us how wonderful life is, saysrenowned Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh. Kids help us grow and progressspiritually. In return, you can help your children grow by recognising andaccepting them for who they are, by making them feel safe and nurtured, byhelping them to appreciate what they have and by teaching them considerationfor all living things. Learn how in this highly practical book. Priced at S$23.30from Awareness Place.HEARDHeal and Harmonise with the Life-affirming Frequencies of the Earth> Vibrational Healing MusicBy Majorie De MuynckSeen, Heard & Read...This music CD puts me at ease. If you are someone who enjoyslistening to nature’s sounds, embark on a therapeutic journey tothe music of OM — known to soothe, balance and rejuvenate — tothe accompaniment of crickets’ and cicadas’ rhythms. Get it fromAwareness Place at S$32.00.awaken62

The lives of the childrenare the result of the deeds of their parents.Parents are highly influential with respectto making the children good or bad.Their minds or habits are a product oftraining by the parents,for parents are the first teachers andmirrors of the children.No matter who the children are,they will be a reflection of their own parents.They receive everything from you every second.Do not think that your action,in front of your children,will not create an impression in their minds.You must recognise thatany action of the parents will imprintan image on the mind of the children.So always try to be especially careful.– Panyananda BhikkhuIf we want our childrento understand the meaning of love,gratitude and patience,We must practise them ourselves.If we have not expressed our gratitudeto others for their services,how can we expect our childrento show their gratitude to us?– Ven. K Sri DhammanandaKnowledge is needed for success in the world,meditation is needed to realise Nirvanic bliss;Sila (morality) is necessary for both.– Francis StoryParents should ensure thattheir children be givena good education,and also be equipped with astrong ethical and moral code of conduct.It is only with good ethical andspiritual training that a childcan grow to realise his or hertrue potential.Teach and guide by examplehow to fulfil their dutiesand responsibilities,and to show their gratitude.It is by example thatchildren learn and remember best.awakenVerses & ProsesIssue 15 • September – December 2009 63

GlossaryawakenAbhidhamma: The third great division of the Pitaka. It is a hugecollection of systematically arranged, tabulated and classified doctrinesof the Buddha, representing the quintessence of his Teaching.Afflictions: Another name for negative or disturbing emotions, alsoknown as kleshas. The three main emotional obscurations are passionor attachment; aggression or anger; and ignorance or delusion. The fivekleshas are the above three plus pride and envy or jealousy.Anapanasati Sutta: This is a discourse (sutta) that details the Buddha'sinstruction on using the breath (anapana) as a focus for mindfulness(sati) meditation. The discourse lists sixteen objects on which onemay meditate in order to bear insight and understanding into theFour Foundations of Mindfulness (Satipatthana),··¯ the Seven Factors ofAwakening (Bojjhangas), and ultimately Nirvana.Arhat: Foe or Enemy Destroyer. One who has destroyed the enemyof dualistic ego-grasping/clinging, and thus accomplished liberationof cyclic existence. There are three types of Arhats: Shravaka,Pratyekabuddha, Buddha.Arya: A person who has achieved direct realisation of the true natureof reality. This person has achieved the third (path of insight) of thefive paths.Attachment: Attachments are what keep us turning on the wheel of rebirth.In the Four Noble truths, Buddha Shakyamuni taught that attachment toself is the root cause of suffering: From craving [attachment] springs grief,from craving springs fear; For him who is wholly free from craving, there isno grief, much less fear. (Dhammapada) Becoming enlightened is nothingother than severing all our attachments. What is meant by “attachment”?It is the investing of mental or emotional energy in an “object”. We canbecome attached to people, things, experiential states, and our ownthoughts and preconceptions. In Buddhist teachings attachments areusually divided into two general categories: attachments to self andattachments to dharmas. For the seasoned practitioner, even the Dharmamust not become an attachment.Bhikshu: A fully ordained male Buddhist monastic, who lived by thevinaya’s framework of monastic discipline. Their lifestyle is shaped so asto support their spiritual practice, to live a simple and meditative life, andattain Nirvana. Called bhikkhu in Pali language.Bodhisattva: One who aspires to save all beings from suffering, whilesaving oneself.Buddha: An aspect of the Triple Gem - The Awakened or EnlightenedOne. A Buddha is one who has attained liberation from all suffering,attaining True Happiness, Perfect Wisdom and Perfect Compassion,among all other virtues for the sake of helping all sentient beings. “TheBuddha” refers to the historical Shakyamuni or Gautama Buddha, who isthe founder of Buddhism in our world.Buddha Kashyapa: The name of the third of the five Buddhas of thepresent aeon (the Bhaddakappa or 'Fortunate Aeon'), and the sixth ofthe six Buddhas prior to the historical Buddha mentioned in the earlierparts of the Pali Canon.Buddha-nature: The original nature present in all beings whichwhen realised leads to enlightenment. It is often called the essence ofBuddhahood or enlightened essence.Compassion: The quality that makes us aspire to help others with noselfish intention; the ending of selfishness.Cyclic existence: The cycle of death and rebirth, taking uncontrolledrebirth under the influence of defilements and karmic imprints. Theprocess arises out of ignorance and is marked by suffering.Defilements: Our negative qualities - chiefly Greed (Craving), Hatred(Aversion) and Ignorance (Delusion).Dharma: An aspect of the Triple Gem - the teachings of the Buddha or thegeneral teachings of Buddhism. ‘Dhamma’ in Pali language.Emptiness: The truth of all mind and matter constantly changing, thusbeing empty of any fixed self.Enlightenment: The realisation of the reality of all things as they trulyare. True Happiness is the result.Equanimity: The calm and balanced state of mind of not being affected byattachment or aversion to anything.Five Precepts: The basic guidelines of moral conduct - not killing,not stealing, not having sexual misconduct, not lying and not takingintoxicants.Four Immeasurables: Also called the Four Sublime States, itincludes love, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity. They areimmeasurable because they extend to all beings, who are immeasurable,and because we create immeasurable positive energy and purifyimmeasurable negative energy through developing them.Impermanence: All compounded things are constantly changing, as aresult or effect of changing causes and conditions. All living and nonlivingelements are thus subject to decay and renewal.Insight Meditation: A form of meditation that develops insight into thenature of the mind.Interdependence: Also called dependent origination or conditionedarising. The principal that nothing exists independently, but comes intoexistence only on dependency of various previous causes and conditions.In other word, a phenomenon exists in condition that the other exist; ithas in condition that others have; it extinguishes in condition that othersextinguish; it has not in condition that others have not.Jetavana: Jetavana was one of the most famous of the Buddhistmonasteries in India. It was the second monastery donated to Buddha,after the one in Rajagriha. Jetavana was the place where Buddha gavemany teachings and discourses, more than in any other place.Karma: The moral law of cause and effect which states that what weexperience is the result of what we had done, that what we do will resultin what we will experience. Kamma in Pali language.Liberation: State after removing the defilements and karma which causeuncontrolled rebirth in cyclic existence.Lotus Sutra: The Lotus Sutra or Sutra on the White Lotus of the SublimeDharma is one of the most popular and influential Mahayana sutras inAsia.Loving-kindness: The quality which makes us wish for the happinessand well-being of others. ‘Metta’ in Pali language.Mantra: Prescribed syllables (in Sanskrit) to protect the mind fromdefilements. They express the essence of specific energies. Recitation ofmantras is always done with specific visualisations.Medicine Buddha: The Buddha of healing and medicine in MahayanaBuddhism. He is the Buddha of the eastern realm of Vaiduryanirbhasa,¯ ¯or "Pure Lapis Lazuli". There, he is attended to by two bodhisattvassymbolising the sun and moon respectively: Suryaprabha andCandraprabha. He is well-known for the 12 great vows he made which isdetailed in the Medicine Buddha Sutra.Meditation: A practice to habituate ourselves to positive and realisticstates of mind.Merits: Blessings, positive potential. Imprints on the mindstream ofpositive actions, leading to future happiness.Middle path: The Buddha's Nirvana-bound path of moderation awayfrom the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification andtowards the practice of wisdom, morality and mental cultivation.Mindfulness: An aspect of the ‘Noble Eightfold Path’ - the quality thatenables us to remember, and keep our awareness and attention on what isbeneficial to one and all in terms of thoughts, speech and actions.Nirvana: Nirvana is a Sanskrit term that is interpreted in various ways:1)cessation, or extinction, referring to the elimination of the afflictionsat the time of enlightenment, 2) freedom from desire; and 3) no longereither coming into being or ceasing to be. ‘Nibbana’ in Pali language.Novitiate: the period that a novice or prospective member of a religiousorder who has not yet been admitted to vows has to undergo training inorder to be found eligible or qualified for admission.Paramita / perfection / parami: Refers to the six practices, the perfectionof which ferries one beyond the sea of suffering and mortality to Nirvana.Puja: Ceremony/act of worship, offering.Pureland: A world without defilements created by a Buddha out ofCompassion, for sentient beings to seek birth in, to perfect the practiceof the Dharma. The best known being Sukhavati Pureland created byAmitabha Buddha.Rebirth: The continual cycle of birth and death.Refuge: In the Buddhist context to take refuge means to accept the Buddhaand the Buddhist teachings as the path one wants to takes.Repentance: The recognition of misgivings and the resolution to rectifyand never repeat them.Samadhi: Meditative stabilisation, concentration. One-pointedinvolvement in meditation where the meditation object and thepractitioner are experienced as inseparable and indistinguishable. Asthere are many types of Samadhi, the term does not infer anything aboutthe practitioner's realisation or accomplishment.Samsara: This world of rebirth and suffering. Also known as Saha world.Sangha: An aspect of the Triple Gem - the holy community of monks and nuns.Sentient Beings: Living beings with feelings in the six Samsara realms ofhells, hungry ghosts, animals, humans, demi-gods and gods.Six Realms of Existence: Also called the Six Paths of Rebirth, it refers tothe six categories of living beings who are not enlightened. They are 1)Gods, 2) Humans, 3) Asuras, 4) Animals, 5) Ghosts, 6) Hell-dwellers. Theparticular category that one finds oneself reborn in depends upon one’skarma at the time of rebirth.Sudhana: The boy who practised the perfection of energy by learningtirelessly from every situation and people he met with.Suffering: The physical and mental feeling of dissatisfaction.Sutra (s): The recorded teachings of the Buddha. Spelt as Sutta in Palilanguage.Tathagata: ¯ One who has found the truth, and is beyond all comingand going. It is the name the historical Buddha used when referring tohimself while he was alive.Three evil paths: The three lower realms of rebirth — Animal realm,Hungry Ghost realm, Hell realm.Threefold Refuge: Taking refuge in the Triple Gem.Triple Gem: The Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.Venerable: An honorific addressing of a member of the Sangha.Virtues: Blessings which transcend Birth and Death and lead toBuddhahood. Depending on the mind of the practitioner, that is, onwhether he is seeking mundane rewards (merit) or transcendence(virtue), the same action either to merit or virtue.Zen: A school of Buddhism. Also known as Chan.64