La Salle and the discovery of the great West - North Central ...

;v/340 LA SALLE PAINTED BY HIMSELF. [1680-83.myself, and was not driven by pressing business. Itis much the same with letters, which I never writeexcept when pushed to it, and for the same reason.It is a defect of which I shall never rid myself aslong as I live, often as it spites me against myself,and often as I quarrel with myself about it."Here is a strange confession for a man like LaSalle. Without doubt, the timidity of which heaccuses himself had some of its roots in pride ; butnot the less was his pride vexed and humbled by it.It is surprising that, being what he was, he couldhave brought himself to such an avowal under anycircumstances or any pressure of distress. Shynessa morbid fear of committing himself; and incapacityto express, and much more to simulate, feeling, — atrait sometimes seen in those with whom feeling ismost deep, — are strange ingredients in the characterof a man who had grappled sodauntlessly with lifeon its harshest and rudest side. They were deplorabledefects for one in his position. He lacked thatsympathetic power, the inestimable gift of the trueleader of men, in which lies the difference between awilling and a constrained obedience. This solitarybeing, hiding his shyness under a cold reserve, couldrouse no enthusiasm in his followers. He lived inthe purpose which he had made a part of himself,nursed his plans in secret, and seldom asked oraccepted advice. He trusted himself, and learnedmore and more to trust no others. One may fairlyinfer that distrust was natural to him? but the