Anthology of wounds - Arct

Anthology of Woundsbride, when they killed her brother in tortures and hernephew too, all the thoughts I had in my mind felt downand I lived for weeks silent looking every person as abad one and Dostoyevski as a great sabot tour that triedto justified the devil accusing like this the angels. And Itried without entering in the universe of his book in thatendless world of stars that has its laws of gravitation,and in that darkness I tried to become common and tosave from the tyranny of Dostoyevski and I start to loveand hate the people as the others did. But during thetime I felt that I must behave with the others as hypocritebecause in the dictatorship you can’t love or hatesomeone as you want because this contradicts the balancegiven by government to hate or love the people. Sothat’s why I had to leave from the people, in order tojustify them. But I was not quite. I had a question in mymind — What about the people that deserved to behated? Trying to choose this question Dostoyevskihelped me, advising not to care of them, for as muchtime as I could not repair them. So at least I didn’t makeenemies the persons that were not guilty for my poverty,even though they behave with me as the statewanted.Once I had an illusion especially when the communistslooked less wild, but during the time I understandit was only a technique of them, made by the fear that allthe tyrants have when they said for someone that dies —he is saved! From this situation save even the personsappointed as “sacrifice” but it was a temporary amnestybecause they know their time would come again. But theman is strange he doesn’t accept the bad for himself!It happened like this in one of these periods when I91