Anthology of wounds - Arct

Anthology of Woundsshocked, she passed without sleeping. I tried to staynear her, especially during the night, she didn’t forgetto indulge me, but it looked as if she prayed not to annoyher. One night she told me to hear if I heard steps onthe ceiling, and when I was sure there were no such ,except the silence of night she laugh as if wanted to saythat she was kidding, while I could see some tears inher eyes. That time I need her love, and searched herlove. I didn’t understand why she was so cold to meevery day more and more. Why had she put me awayof her heart? I followed despaired the whispers andmovements and her voice but I could not arrive in anyconclusion. I could not find a cause why her love for mehad lost like this. So I did many mistakes to take herattention, and took any scorn of her. But no, nothinghappened. She felt like my love for her was a carry.Then I took of my pride in which I hide the love for herin order to offend her, but she worried only for somemoments and then she was indifferent again. She askednow a new pact that I couldn’t accept: leave her alone!But I couldn’t, when I saw she was suffering! While, shemaybe wanted to learn from me. So many times I haddreamed myself dead to taste the happiness her compassionexpressed with tears and screams for my loose!Later on I understood I have had a sick love for mymother. I wonder if her heart has felt that. Had she feltthat how wild my love for her was? She had taught meto treat her cruelly. I went to school for her, I wear newclothes for her, I ate and drunk just for her, even sleptfor her. She did every homework I had , she vindicatedme when I didn’t go to school, and never told me whatshe had done to protect me, she paid my mistakes ashers.84