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MENATWORKpublisher’s pageLearning and growing each passing day, my ownsons are teaching me a thing or two about BrotherlyLove. Today, they’re tighter than an eighties popband but that wasn’t always the case as they are tenyears apart. And let’s face it, when one was twelve,and the other was two, it wasn’t always a bowl ofcherries (mostly pits). But now, when I see themworking on themselves as a twenty-four year-oldman, and a fourteen year-old teen, building personalcharacter,pushing the limits of their comfort zones,it reminds me to do the same each day. How onearth did these young men figure out how to dowhat most adults have yet to accomplish? Theyhave become, in two words—my muse. And to eachother, they mean the world.What more could a Momask for?“Who Can It Be Now?”Once upon a time, there were two boys. Well um…two men - my men.Last week I had a stunning “aha” moment.I realized the missing piece in both of my son’s lives.It was in front of me - in front of us - the whole time! Quitesimply, they needed each other. Yeah, they’re brothers,true friends and very close. They’ve always been a greatduo, but both were always missing something, which wasimpacting their respective lives. Honestly, it’s been thehardest thing of all as a watchful Mom when trying toguide and nurture them. There comes a point when Momhas to realize, she just can’t be all things, to everyone, nomatter how much she lives and dies to be.DEREK, 24 DARION, 14July/August I 267-767-4205 I www.phillyfitmagazine.com PhillyFIT I 5

Now, back to my epiphany. Derek and Darion, while quiteopposite with regard to their general likes (one is a sports nut, theother a artsy-fartsy music nut with a love for cars) and dislikes(one loves head bangin’ old school rock, the other jams to NickiMinaj) fundamentally held the missing puzzle piece for each oneof their emotional deficits. There were so many times that I wastossing around the idea of getting a tutor for Darion, a mentor forDerek, someone, anyone who could build them up, cheer them on,help them duck life’s curveballs, as sometimes good ‘ole Mom,step dad and nanny don’t always fit the bill. I was left scratchingmy head for so long. Who can it be now? Who was going tochampion their sports, or academic accomplishments besides us?Who was going to give them sage advice about girls, money, personalintegrity, etc. In short, I was seeking a confidence builder,someone to lift spirits, create energy and fill in the gaps when Ijust didn’t fit the bill. My kids are surrounded by family membersthat love them, but something, just something, was still “off”.I saw it in his eyes. He had to find the confidence to “dig deep”and start pulling his passion out of his belly, something young athleteshear often. But this had become a true problem for “D”, aswe call him. But traditionally, no matter how loudly Mom yelledin the bleachers, it didn’t do the trick.When Derek now goes to Darion’s games, it’s different. Darion’seyes light up and I catch him looking for his brother in the crowd.Once he spots him, he turns up his game a few notches so as tosay, “Hey, look what I can do!” It’s a heart-felt motivator thatmakes me smile. Derek feeds off of the reward of knowing howimportant he is to his brother, and loves knowing his presencelends to this new layer of confidence.One day I decided to ask both Darion and Derek both the samequestion. I wanted to peel away the layers of the onion and makeeach one think about what life would be like without each other.I learned pretty early on that loved ones aren’tnecessarily forever, but kids are. Seems like asimple idea, but it’s such a profound concept. Soalthough some folks have come, and gone, thereare still many chapters to be written in my sons’books. I can hand them the pen, but they haveto write it themselves.Who can it be? I’ll tell you, each other! Derek is now Darion’sunconditional cheerleader and Darion is now Derek’s dearest andmost loyal friend. So if one is leaning towards sadness, the other isthere to prop him up. If one is slipping into self-doubt, the other isthere to talk turkey, redirect or just have an icy glass of Gatoradetogether.At the core, my sons are quite similar, but on the surface, theyseem to own totally different personality traits and physicalattributes. One is tall with curly hair and totally ripped, the otheris, well, short with straight hair, and jacked. What are the commondenominators? These kids both are deep thinkers, loyal as loyalcan be to their friends, and both have acquired killer bodies. I’mtellin’ ya, they’re FIT! I am working on getting these two in thegym together now too. I have a feeling they’d be each others bestworkout partner! Their motivation is health, not vanity and I’mreally proud of this. They understand that a fit body is related to afit mind and a fit mind makes better decisions, engages easily andwell, is happier. It’s true, a body at rest tends to stay at rest, but abody in motion tends to stay in motion and my boys are alwaysmovin’. This is a good thing especially because we live in a worldriddled with video games and texting. I want to be sure that myboys are working out more than just their thumbs!“I Can See It In Your Eyes”Darion, now fourteen and six feet tall, and wearing a size 14 shoe,is an athlete and quite the basketball player. But, for the longesttime, something just wasn’t quite right. His game was suffering;something wasn’t clicking. Whatever it was, it was holding himback from his true potential—not only as an athlete, but as a man.The question was simple – “What do you think about your brother?”Now, boys don’t really open up too much and I was fresh outof truth serum. I expected one-word answers and at first they werereserved, but I was soon shocked to get full-blown monologues.“Derek, what do you think about Darion?”“What do you mean Mom,” he replied as he tossed a crinkled upball of paper into the trash like a basketball at the final buzzer.“ I mean tell me how you feel. I want to know.”“Ugh! Well, he’s pretty awesome. I like spending time with him.It’s cool because I always have someone to do something with24/7. He’s like a friend that never has to go home. He makes mewant to set a good example. I think I would be different withouthim. I would probably have twenty more tattoos and ridemotorcycles to pass the day by.”His voice trailed off and I could tell he was lost in his own privatethoughts. “Mission accomplished,” I thought. I just wanted to hitpause and make my sons think about the importance of family,friendship and love. And as I said, with boys, that order is tallerthan the Comcast Center.Derek had been through a lot as a teen. His group of friends hadgotten mixed up with another not so good group of friends just outof school, which led to coming-of-age ‘trouble’. This was a shockas he was always the leader of the pack and on top of his game.He had excellent grades, played four instruments and won endlessmusic and art awards. Unfortunately, Derek took a misguided,destructive path littered with vices, mood swings and irreverence.Those were trying times. There was nothing I could do to lassohim back, until “that” day when enough was enough and I put my“tough love” foot down. But Darion was there by his side throughthe ups and the very deep, dark downs. He was loyal and vigilant,knowing that Derek was going through some stuff. Darion wasscared for his brother during those trying times, but his love wasunconditional and never wavering.6 I PhillyFIT July/August I 267-767-4205 I www.phillyfitmagazine.com

“Darion, What do you think about your brother?”“What do you mean, Mom,” I had to laugh as Derek asked thesame thing.“I mean what do you think it would be like if you didn’t have yourbrother, or a brother at all?”I saw Darion’s face go pale and a palpable gloominess took hisentire being hostage in a nanosecond. “Is something wrong withhim? Is he sick?”“Oh gosh, no! I was just wondering if you think your life wouldbe different without a brother, that’s all!”republishing John Wesley’s words here (www.pickthebrain.com).John writes an amazing, very inspiring easy-to-read blog that I followreligiously. I like these suggestions because they’re all-naturaland yes, I integrate all ten into my kid’s lives as much as possible!Gratitude is a life-lesson that for some, doesn’t come with a sideof awareness. The first pickthebrain.com article was published tothe website on November 22, 2006. Since then it has become oneof the fastest growing self improvement sites on the web.PickTheBrain diverges from traditional “self-help” by taking abroader approach. Rather than sticking to a small set of topics, thesite covers anything related to self improvement. Any informationthat people can use to live more prosperous, satisfying lives is apotential article. If we’re all “Men at Work”, then numbers onethrough ten should be what we’re all working on!“Oh (long pause), well yeah, I couldn’t imagine. I wouldn’t imagine.I wouldn’t have my new found basketball partner to shoothoops with, take rides to 7-11 at midnight for snacks, and play“Call of Duty” til morning.”“And,” I probed. Sue me.“And, I like our guy-talk and hanging out in the garage, while heworks on all his cars, and stuff like that. It’s fun to have him at mypractices and my games. I don’t ever want a day to go by withouthim actually!”Soon after, Darion asked me where the old photo albums were.Sheesh, I hadn’t though of those in ages. My little one (okay,middle child and NOT so little anymore) was feeling nostalgic. Itwas working - all my introspective exercise torture. We pagedthrough old photo albums until midnight and Darion fell asleepnext to me like he did when he was a toddler after reading books.I found it hard to hold back happy tears at each page turn. Myboys were turning into men before my eyes and the photos justdocumented that theory. I thought of Stevie Nick’s song,Landslide, and lingered in the lyrics.“Well, I've been afraid of changing'Cause I've built my life around youBut time makes you bolderEven children get older and I'm getting older tooOh, I'm getting older too…”“Down Under”Have you been feeling down? If you answered yes (and stats showthat fifty percent of you will), then think about the exercise Iillustrated. Yes, it is very MIRACLE on 34th Street. Sit down in aquite, safe place and think about what your life would be likewithout _________. Maybe it was a relative, teacher, coach, personaltrainer, life coach, or a good friend that impacted your life ina profound way. My sons both went through periods of bigchange, pathos, depression and confusion. This got me thinking,everyone goes through some dark days. In a way, we’re all “Menat Work.” Each one of us needs to CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY; it’san empowering feeling to opt in to your own daily fate. If you’refeeling a little blue, read my side bar. Admittedly, I amJuly/August I 267-767-4205 I www.phillyfitmagazine.com1. Understand the Emotional Cycle – Life is an emotional rollercoaster. Some days you feel like nothing can stop you. Other daysyou feel utterly hopeless. Most of the time you’re somewhere inbetween. Understanding the pattern of positive and negativeemotions will help you put your feelings in perspective. Next timeyou feel down, just remember that it’s a natural emotion that willinevitably pass. Knowing that a feeling of depression is onlytemporary makes it less dreadful.2. Spend Time with Positive People – Nothing affects the wayyou think and feel more than the people you interact with.Thoughts (both positive and negative) are contagious. If you aresurrounded by negative people, it’s only natural that you’ll start tothink and feel the same way. To improve your outlook on life,spend time with positive people. Search them out and try tounderstand the way they see the world. Chances are theirhappiness will rub off.3. Reflect on Past Success – In the wake of a colossal failure, it’seasy to forget everything you’ve ever done right. Take a fewminutes to remember your past accomplishments and buildyourself up. What made you successful before? What are yourstrengths? Frequently, this exercise will build self confidence, helpyou figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success inthe future.4. Focus on Gratitude – It’s human nature to measure ourselvesagainst those ahead of us on the social ladder. Studies have shownthat people care more about being richer than their friends thanactually making more money. When you consider everything goodin your life and compare it to the problems of less fortunatepeople, the issue that’s making you depressed won’t seem asserious. This gets back to my, “What do you think about yourbrother” questions!5. Change of Scenery – One of the best ways to change the wayyou feel is to change your environment. When you get in a slump,you start to associate your problems with everything around you.It can get to the point where your environment is a constantreminder of your problems. This can be a dangerous cycle. Thesolution is to change things. Change doesn’t have to be radical.Cleaning up, adding more lights, or including pleasant decorationscan completely change the mood of a room.PhillyFIT I 7

6. Break Your Routine - Going through the same routine, dayafter day, can be monotonous and depressing. It often leads to gettingcaught in a rut. To get out of it you need to temporarilychange your routine. If you can, take a day off from work. Dosomething you don’t normally have time for or something you’venever tried. In the long run, taking a day off every now and then toget out of slump will make you happier and more productive.7. Interact with Animals and Nature – It’s funny when youconsider how humans put so much importance on their own tinyproblems. Animals don’t think this way. A little bird doesn’t mopearound because it isn’t an eagle or because another bird beat it to atasty seed. Animals live in the present moment and they show loveunconditionally. Observing and interacting with them will helpyou get over your problems.8. Get Moving – As Johnny Cash famously suggested, “Get arhythm, when you get the blues.” Moving to a beat makeseveryone feel better. The same is true for movement in general.Hitting the gym or going for a walk will help you shed thelethargy that comes with feeling depressed. The more enthusiasticyour moments, the better you will start to feel.9. Think About the Big Picture – As Carl Sagan made evidentwith the Pale Blue Dot, we’re insignificant creatures living in avast universe on a tiny planet. In the long run, everything we dowill probably be forgotten. Some might find this depressing, but itshouldn’t be. It means that all our problems are illusory. In amillion years no one will remember what you did or didn’t do.What matters is the present moment and enjoying every second oflife that we’re blessed with.10. Do Something to Help Yourself – Above all, the best way tostop feeling depressed is to take action. What is your biggestproblem? How can you alleviate it? Once you decide to stopmoping and start moving forward you won’t have time to feeldepressed. Action will occupy your mind and give you somethingto look forward to. Once you get some results, you’ll buildmomentum and positive thinking will keep getting easier.“Overkill”As I type, I feel pretty confident that my men have a sharedadoration and admiration for each other as human beings and asbrothers. I don’t force the issue any longer and I am standing back,just letting things happen. As a full-fledged, doting Mom, I knowwhen I go into overkill as a cheerleader and brazen evangelist formy kids. I can’t help it. But, lately I’ve taken a step back (it wasactually nice to take a break from the photo shoot this .) Whathappens organically is just magic sometimes.My friend Veronica, a mother of four and a grandmother of twoexplained it best to me the other day: “Being an ‘overkill mom’ issort of like a deadbolt lock. When one door closes, the other doorcan’t open, and that thwarts growth. You have to let kids be kids.You have to know when to walk away. Let things happen –good or bad.”Cutting the cord wasn’t easy with either of my sons. I had made somepretty bad decisions along life’s journey that had me swimming in apool of guilt. But one I will never ever regret, was keeping an intensebond with them. My instincts knew when it was “time” to help themreally find each other. I always felt like I had to make it up to them,patch up my mistakes, love them hard, do more and root for themlouder than my tonsils could endure. It was pee-wee league, but youwould have thought it was the Olympics. Loving these kids withevery cell of my being has always been the easy part. Letting otherslove them as much as I do has sometimes been beyond challenging.The fear of them getting let down or hurt is too much to bear. But Ihave a feeling that this duo (and I) have nothing to fear.All of our hearts and souls are super-glued together. My boys aresafe and sound and so am I, knowing that they are eternally therefor each other.By the way, it’s summer! There’s no bettertime to embrace the beauty of the season.Get out there and take some photos of yourfamily. Share your .jpegs with me and I justmay put them in the next issue!Love and SPF 50,Best Airbrush Tanin Philly!Visit www.sunfastic.com to book your appt now!2054 County Line Rd.Huntingdon Valley, PA 19006215.355.7007www.sunfastic.com50% OFFAirbrush Tan--or--Buy Any PackageGet 1 AirbrushFREEExp 12/31/128 I PhillyFITJuly/August I 267-767-4205 I www.phillyfitmagazine.com

Hi Jami,My name is Michele R. (last name heldfor privacy). We have met in the past,and I have wanted to tell you that I findyour editorials that you write in eachissue to be very inspiring. To me, itseems that we have shared some similar-typesituations and some of thethings that you have recently been tryletterstothepublisherDear PhillyFIT,The 13th PhillyFIT BASH was far morethan what we could have imagined!The people that we met at this eventwere incredible and energized beyondwhat we were expecting. Young andold alike crowded the area and participatedin a variety of activities thatincluded aerobics, martial arts, andsome new and wild machines thatlooked like they would bring a changeto any workout. We look forward to thenext PhillyFIT and the new fitnessinnovations that it will reveal!The Combat FactoryJami,I have been watching PhillyFITMagazine grow for some time now. Ican remember your launch when it wasdistributed to Training Zone Sports,which I co-owned here in Doylestown!You have been growing!!!Susan PajerP.S. I was so sorry to hear of your dearfather's passing. He was my son's busdriver for many years while he attendedLenape Middle School. Your Dadwas so friendly and always waivedhello in the morning or afternoon. Myson was very fond of him. He is missed.Hi Jami,Love your magazine and stories.My name is Stela Rickabaugh, I'm 44years old and I'm a personal trainer atWorkOut Plus in Quakertown. Thanksfor the magazine! Everyone loves it!Hi Jami!!LOVE the PhillyFIT Mag! I'm a personaltrainer and fitness nutrition specialist,thanks for putting out PhillyFIT!Amanda Jackson, 27Phoenixville, PaHI Jami,I read your May/June Publisher’s Pagefeature about friendship and keeping intouch. It really brought a little tear tomy eye and a touch of sadness to myheart. I think we are all guilty of this,the feeling of wanting a little breakfrom the chaos we all have in our lives.Sometimes, at the cost of our familyand friends feelings.Friendships can be hard (very hard), Ihaven't spoken to one of my mostfavorite friends in almost a year and Ican't tell you a reason why, I don'tthink we have any issues. I plan toreach out to her tomorrow and check inthanks to you and your article.I could ramble on and on, but I justwant you how well read your magazinearticles really are, they make a differencein many peoples lives.Living the Dream,Steve GuenzelDear Jami,Thank you for sharing your story inyour May/June Publisher’s Page. I literallyjust put your article down on mydesk and picked up a pad and pen towrite to you. I am 40, and goingthrough what appears to be a similarsituation as you are, I can relate toyour story. I picked up a copy ofPhillyFIT for the first time about anhour ago, as I was walking out ofWAWA. It caught my attention, somethinginside of me flipped right to yourarticle and I was thinking, “Oh my God!No way! Am I the author of this story?I could have written it!” So, as I read,all I kept thinking was I wanted toshare my feelings with you, pleaseknow out there in this world is anotherstrong woman going through her ownjourney of finding how to trust herselfand her choices after painful experienceshave left her shattered too.Wish all the best to you Jami.Dianne (last name held for privacy)Hi PhillyFIT,Thanks for a wonderful event (13thPhillyFIT BASH)!! I was thrilled to bepart of it and can't imagine all the hardwork that you put into it!Heather GannonIsagenixPOSTED TO OUR FACEBOOK PAGE:Jami,AWESOME Publisher’s Page in yourMay/June issue – So relatable!Jenny GriffinJami - It is nice to read articles bysomeone intelligent (you) and whenthings seem to be going off track, justtry to think of one of my many sayings,in this case the saying being "Life isjust one big long practice session.”Tom FelockHey PhillyFIT,We had a blast at the Bash! We justbooked our second patient already, in48 hours, that we met at the BASH!Man, are we tired this morning! Youguys did a great job. Thanks toPhillyFIT volunteers, Lloyd being a bighelp to me (got my tent up with me).Dr. Mike BurakPublished by:Jalynn Concepts, LLCPublisher: Jami AppenzellerArt Design: Buxmont MediaCopy Editors: Heather Hoehn,Bev AppenzellerCover Photography:Photo of Allison by Stacy O'Nell(SO Photography). Photo of kidsby Lynda Berry Photography.Publishers Page:Photo by Joe Chielli, ChurchStreet StudiosCalendar Of Events:John BeelerAd Sales:Jami Appenzellerjami@phillyfitmagazine.comRita Henryritahenry@phillyfitmagazine.comDistribution Manager:R.I.P. Jim AppenzellerAll inquires are welcome...Call us NOW! (267)767-4205Fax: (215)396-0288www.phillyfitmagazine.comJami@phillyfitmagazine.coming in your journey to healing have spokento me. I am now trying some ofthese methods as well. It is comfortingto see someone else trying some alternativemethods and talking about it. Itmakes us readers feel like we aren'talone in our own personal trials andtribulations. So, thank you for sharing,it has meant a lot to me personally.Jami,Thank You for being you - your are aChampion for the fitness industry.Warmly,Carl Wagner, CEOCenter for Advancement in Cancer Edu.PHILLYFITfamilyAdvertising Deadlines:Reservations for theSept/Oct 2012 issue:Ad Reservation Due By:Aug 5, 2012Ad Copy Due By: Aug 10, 2012Inquiries:21 Sunnybrook Dr.New Britain PA 18901PhillyFIT Magazine is a news magazine with emphasison health, fitness and leisure. PhillyFIT Magazine is printedbi-monthly, distributing magazines to more than 800locations in the Philadelphia, Bucks, Chester, Delawareand Montgomery Counties. Address all submissions ofadvertising, calendar entries, photos, inquiries and lettersto the above address. PhillyFIT Magazine does notassume responsibility for unsolicited materials. PhillyFITMagazine will assume that all unsolicited materials arebeing submitted for possible publication and should thematerial be published, no fee is due to the submittingparty. It is our understanding that the submitting partyholds models' releases on photographs submitted.PhillyFIT Magazine does not knowingly accept false ormisleading advertising or editorial content, nor does thePublisher assume responsibility should such advertisingor editorial appear. PhillyFIT Magazine reserves the rightto edit letters to the editor and other submissions forclarity and space availability, and to determine suitabilityof all materials submitted for publication. Before implementingany exercise or diet modification mentioned inPhillyFIT Magazine, readers are advised to consult withtheir physicians. No reproductions of printed material arepermitted without the consent of the Publisher.All rights reserved.July/August I 267-767-4205 I www.phillyfitmagazine.com PhillyFIT I 9