Nostromo - A Tale of the Seaboard.pdf - Planet eBook

place. It takes possession of the mind, and drives forth thethought into the exile of utter unbelief. After three days ofwaiting for the sight of some human face, Decoud caughthimself entertaining a doubt of his own individuality. It hadmerged into the world of cloud and water, of natural forcesand forms of nature. In our activity alone do we find thesustaining illusion of an independent existence as againstthe whole scheme of things of which we form a helpless part.Decoud lost all belief in the reality of his action past and tocome. On the fifth day an immense melancholy descendedupon him palpably. He resolved not to give himself up tothese people in Sulaco, who had beset him, unreal and terrible,like jibbering and obscene spectres. He saw himselfstruggling feebly in their midst, and Antonia, gigantic andlovely like an allegorical statue, looking on with scornfuleyes at his weakness.Not a living being, not a speck of distant sail, appearedwithin the range of his vision; and, as if to escape from thissolitude, he absorbed himself in his melancholy. The vagueconsciousness of a misdirected life given up to impulseswhose memory left a bitter taste in his mouth was the firstmoral sentiment of his manhood. But at the same time hefelt no remorse. What should he regret? He had recognizedno other virtue than intelligence, and had erected passionsinto duties. Both his intelligence and his passion were swallowedup easily in this great unbroken solitude of waitingwithout faith. Sleeplessness had robbed his will of all energy,for he had not slept seven hours in the seven days. Hissadness was the sadness of a sceptical mind. He beheld the