Fall 2001 - The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl

Make Your Own Pop SongDirections: Simply choose your favorite phrases, fill in the blanks and ensurethat at least 80% of the surface area of your skin is exposed at any givenmoment and: Voila! Carson Daly will be licking butterscotch off your gonadswithin days!My ____________ is ______________ me,horniness overwhelmingumbilical cord chokingsweatshop past hauntingHMO billingI must _______________, I’m still _________________!confessa virginrepressmolested by my uncleoppressa Republicanundressstripping to pay for collegeMom?by Rebecca BerkowitzActivate Faggotron!Go! Go! Power Syncers!And your ________________ are _____________________me,eyessystematically undressingtesticleschafingparentsmorally cleansinghenchmenkidnappingBut I can’t ___________________ without ______________________ you!live peacefullythe heroin I purchase fromrun my Alabama high school segregatingplacate Yahwehcircumcisingdevelop this vaccine experimenting onOoh, ___________________, it’s making me _______________!honeymoneysisterblisterAl Goresnoretranscendental existentialist question the value of my existenceI’ll always ___________________ you in my ___________________!warmpantssuckaquariumcanedungeonpreserveformaldehydeCan you ________________ me the way that _______________________________?satisfyno one else has the endurance forpenetratemy religion forbidsregularly disappoint34th street seems to doaugmentmodern medicine has yet to considerI hope you ___________________________!DIEbelieve meconvert to the true faithenjoy this evening’s presentationIn the spirit of hip-hop, weshould expect at least fourmore albums from Aaliyah