VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY

Friday, 06 February 2009Volume 61, Number 16www.lawweekly.orgINSIDESBA Candidate Profiles...................................................................... 2Don’t Cry for Allison, UVA Law.......................................................... 4Kara Goes Slumming......................................................................... 5Sista and B Make Barristers’ Fierce.................................................... 6Daniel Hervig ’11Staff WriterVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYThe Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 194810th Annual Public Service Conference Engages and InspiresAndy Howlett ’10Staff WriterOn January 30 and 31 the LawSchool hosted its 10th AnnualConference on Public Serviceand the Law, which brought togetherdistinguished legal mindsfrom a variety of practice areasand hundreds of students to focuson the importance of publicservice and, specifically, on thisyear’s broad theme: “Be Not theBystander.”This year’s conference featureda number of high-profilespeakers, perhaps even eclipsingthe guest lists of years past,which have included the likes ofMassachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy’59 and Virginia GovernorTim Kaine. Traveling to Charlottesvillefor this year’s event wereAssociate Supreme Court JusticeSamuel Alito, newly elected Congressmanand Albemarle Countynative Tom Periello, author JohnGrisham, and Public Citizen cofounderAlan B. Morrison.The conference opened onFriday afternoon with remarksfrom Congressman Periello. Aninvigorating discussion on DNAexonerations followed amongpanelists Grisham; Dallas County,Texas District Attorney CraigWatkins; and Marvin Anderson,a man who served a 15-yearprison term for a crime that DNAevidence later proved he did notcommit. “Race played a very bigpart in my [wrongful conviction],”said Anderson. Grishamagreed, noting that “racism isa huge factor. Black defendantsSBA Executive Candidates Debate; Election Days AwayThat wasn’t just the smell ofpepperoni and cheese waftingout of Caplin Pavilion Tuesday.Rather, it was the fragrance ofdemocracy, given off by the SBAExecutive Candidates Debate. Apiquant blend of peer leadershipand free food drew a respectablecrowd as SBA hopefuls explainedthemselves and their platform inanticipation of this year’s executiveelection, scheduled for thiscoming Monday and Tuesday.The debate format allowedeach SBA presidential candidatea short opening speech to introducethemselves and their platform.After introductions, outgoingSBA Vice President StephanieFier, also the SBA Elections Commissionerex officio, questionedeach candidate in rotation onissues pertaining to their perceptionof the office, the law school,and challenges that they willface if elected. Answering herwere second-year students Andyare rarely treated the same waythat white defendants are.” Headded that another problem wasthat the “prosecutors are underpressure. Forget the presumptionof innocence; a lot of these guys[in Mr. Anderson’s situation] arepresumed to be guilty.”Justice Alito gave the keynoteaddress the next day before apacked Caplin Auditorium. Alitopraised the idea of sustainedpublic service in the law, notingthat public service was onceat the core of a lawyer’s professionalidentity, even thoughrecently the prevalence of thelawyer as one who works for thepublic good seems to be declining.More and more, he lamented,lawyers collectively seem tofocus on the quest for profits.Alito encouraged studentsto become involved with varioussorts of legal-related publicinterest work and, recognizingthat many would feel economicpressure to work at a private lawfirm, pointed out that a “legalcareer in public service neednot be an all or nothing proposition,”reminding everyone thatlawyers at private firms couldstill serve the public through probono work.Beyond the star power of aSupreme Court Justice, a majorcontributor to the success of thisyear’s conference, in the wordsof third-year conference co-organizerNicole Stockey, was thatthe panel speakers were bothinteresting and well chosen. Indeed,many of the panels—suchas the “Judicial Nominations andHowlett and Daniel Rosenthal.A third candidate for the office,Chad Logan, also a second-yearstudent, was unable to attenddue to scheduling conflicts.Challenges arising out of therapidly deteriorating world economyplayed a prominent rolein the discussion of what challengeslie ahead for the SBA andits constituents. Howlett spokepassionately about his desire “tomake sure that students have avoice” in confronting issues thatcurrently face the law school. Hisdebate opponent Rosenthal citedhis desire to fulfill student desiresto have “your SBA project an imageof your law school that youcan be proud of.”Both students spoke of theirdesire to push for greater effortsand focus on behalf of both studentsand administration to improvethe OGI process in light ofa more austere hiring environment.Howlett also promised toaddress rising tuition increases.“The number one goal is to stopthe unreasonable increases inSeparation of Powers” panel—quickly turned Withers-Brownclassrooms into standing-roomonlyvenues. That panel, featuringSlate Senior Editor and LegalCorrespondent Dahlia Lithwick,was especially popular. Fourspeakers from various pointsalong the political spectrumdiscussed the climate that PresidentObama’s judicial nomineeswould be facing and speculatedas to what kind of jurists Obamawould appoint to the federaljudiciary. Lithwick warned notto expect a strong left-wing liberalto be nominated to the highcourt any time soon. “I think we[will] see an Obama who is a lotmore moderate than real progressiveswould have hoped for,”tuition,” said Howlett, which heprojected to reach $50,000 forthe 2010-2011.In addition to the substantivefocus of the debate, eachcandidate expressed belief thathis leadership abilities wouldmake him a strong SBA Executive,or stand-in for PresidentObama. Rosenthal stressed hisprevious service on the SBA, tellingthose in the audience that hepossessed acuity for diplomacywhich would be important in hisposition. “Working behind closeddoors,” said Rosenthal, “that’sthe way to affect change.”Using the language of our newCommander in Chief, he expressedhope that students understoodthat, “Sometimes youdon’t need a sledgehammer for ajob that needs a scalpel.”Howlett highlighted his ownObama-like tendencies, pointingout his work investigating issuesof importance to students forboth the Law Weekly and www.uvalawblog.com. He guaranteedthat this experience gives him aphoto courtesy of Law School CommunicationsNicole Stockey ’09 and Jessica DeVera ’09 pose with Justice Samuel Alitoafter his speech at the Law School’s public service conference.she said.Other panels covered judicialremedies to the mortgage crisis,the Status of Forces Agreementin Iraq, and issues related toschool choice and urban educationreform. Student volunteerscoordinated eight panels in total,bringing over 30 speakers toCharlottesville.In addition to the panels, therewas also a series of workshopsrelated to legal careers in publicinterest. The workshop topicsranged from “Criminal Prosecutionand Defense” and “PublicService in the Private Sector”to “Women in Public InterestLegal Careers” and “Careers inthe Federal Government.” The► PSC page 2practical advantage, since he hasbeen “working with these issuesfor the past year and a half” in aneffort to change school policies.“This makes me the candidatethat ‘stands for change,’” Howletttold the audience.On the Vice Presidentialfront, second-year students RolandChang, Ian Fiske, and DallasKaplan introduced themselves tothe audience in a similar debateformat. Of the three candidates,there was a varying focus onqualifications. Chang addressedhis desire to improve campusdining options, as well as to helpestablish a survey of GPAs andother statistics to be cross-referencedwith call-backs and offersfrom the various firms withwhom students have interviewed.Kaplan spoke of wanting to workhard to improve the relationshipbetween the student body andalumni, which he said is criticalin the current economy. Fiskepromised to bring the experiencehe has gained as the SBA Execu-► CANDIDATES page 3around northgroundsCongratulations to 1LMatthew Evans andhis wife Hailey, proudparents of their newborndaughter Katherine.During finals no less!Congratulations to3L Naveen Pai on hisengagement to RomaJhaveri!Congratulations to3L Brittni Goldmanon her engagementto Devire’ Robinson!Congratulations to3L Victoria Neely onher engagement toOrville Canter!Thumbs down to 1Lsbeing lame and notgoing to Feb Club partiesbecause of “badweather” and “schoolwork.”It was miserable outside, youstayed home all night reading,and you didn’t party: why not justgo to Chicago for law school?Thumbs up to thereturn of Assassins.ANG is excited totake a couple weeksoff ANG’s Dungeons & DragonsTournament for some real fun.Thumbs up to the“Canned Immunity”food drive. Let ANGget this straight: Yougive a can of food to charity anddon’t get cold called, unless yourProfessor counters your can withhis own? Oh boy, ANG wants tofind a way to combine this withAssassins. Dorkiest. Game. Ever.Thumbs up to thePILA Date Auction,where ANG definitelyplans on bidding for adate. It really warms the heart tosee charity handed out to thosewho so desperately need it. Also,all the money goes to PILA.Thumbs down to Professorswho wronglybelieve that theirclasses end fifteenminutes after they actually end.This ain’t ’Nam, professors, thereare rules.Thumbs up to the University’sDepartmentof Printing and CopyingServices for beingable to help get last week’s issueto press on time. But thumbsdown to the faulty internet connectionin Slaughter Hall for puttingthe Law Weekly in that position.Not the first time the LawWeekly has been put in a toughposition. That’s what she said!

2 News & FeaturesVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYFriday, 06 February 2009Andy HowlettHometown: Chantilly, VA (current);Ithaca, NY (original)Undergraduate Institution:Cornell UniversityLaw School Activities: Law Weeklycolumnist and reporter, UVA LawBlog, Non-Profit Pro Bono (former),Public Service Conference (former),softball . . .Friends, my platform is simple:Curb the Unreasonable TuitionIncreases: Huge tuition increaseshave been hurting students, and thestudents can and must make theirvoices heard in this area, both tothe administration and the Board ofVisitors.Enhance the OGI process: Studentsshould have both more information(in the form of what theaverage GPAs are for callbacks andwhat firms have broken the NALPrules) and more input as to how theprocess works.More Funding for Public InterestWork: I would work with PILAand the administration to guaranteefunding for every qualified 1L and2L for summer public interest work.I have a plan for doing this (see below);I would also work to enhanceour loan repayment program.Free Coffee and Tea: I have aplan to get us free coffee and tea,similar to the b-school.For information and details abouthow I would accomplish all of thesethings, please see my platform atuvalawblog.com. There you can findSean ConwayExecutive EditorMichael WarnerColumns EditorRyan DoughertyReviews EditorAllen AbramsBusiness EditorMary NiemannAssociate Production EditorContributors:Columnists:Craig SmithEditor-in-ChiefAllison MuthManaging EditorRogan NunnNews EditorVirginiaLaw WeeklyCOLOPHONNeal HayesProduction EditorDipti RamnarainFeatures EditorNick NelsonWeb EditorPublished weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving theLaw School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is notan official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University.Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia LawWeekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is alsorequired for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration.Virginia Law Weekly580 Massie RoadUniversity of Virginia School of LawCharlottesville, Virginia 22903-1789Nick NelsonAssociate Photography EditorJen GoodlattePhotography EditorSmitha DanteAssociate News EditorDaniel Hervig, Andy HowlettDoug Bouton, Kurt Davis, Matt Farmer, Allison MuthPhone: 434.924.3070Fax: 434.924.7536editor@lawweekly.orgwww.lawweekly.orgEDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the LawSchool and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s)and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bearthe name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns musteither be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, orbe mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. the Monday beforepublication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters over 500 words and columnsover 700 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissionsfor length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting ourguidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published.2009 SBA Executive Elections: Candidate Profilesdetailed proposals as well as questionsand answers about my platform.These are important issues, andyet, I am the only presidential candidatewho has even engaged withthem, let alone come up with a planto address them. Don’t let anyone tellyou that the SBA or students are powerlessin these areas; the truth is thatwe can make a difference, and to addressthe challenges the Law Schoolwill face next year, we have to.Thank you for your support.Chad LoganHometown:Woodstock, VirginiaUndergraduate Institution:University of VirginiaLaw School Activities: SBA ProgrammingCo-Chair, VELF Chair,FYC RepI’m running for SBA President becauseI have the experience to managethe responsibilities of the officegained from my past activities atUVA Law. While serving as one ofyour past SBA Programming Cochairs,I controlled over 40% of thebudget and worked closely with thecurrent president of the SBA. Thisallowed me to gain insight into howthe office should be managed. Mymain goals for the office are to makethe SBA as a whole more responsiveto student needs, to increase theinteraction between the Law Schooland Central Grounds, to maintainthe student culture at UVA LawPresidentwhile strengthening SBA’s relationshipwith the administration, and tomanage the SBA efficiently overall. Ibelieve these goals will help improvethe student experience at UVALaw. My work as your programmingco-chair has primed me for this job,and I’d be honored to serve as yournext SBA President and appreciateyour support.Daniel RosenthalHometown:Albany, NYUndergraduate Institution:Emory UniversityLaw School Activities:ABA Representative to the SBA; PeerAdvisor- Section D; First Year Council;Law for US; SBA Student-AlumniRelations Coordinator for Washington,DC; Winter Pro Bono Project;Alternative Spring Break (MarchFrom left: Roland Chang, AndyHowlett, Dallas Kaplan, DanielRosenthal, and Ian Fiske, all Classof 2010, pose in Withers-BrownHall after Tuesday’s SBA ExecutiveCandidates Debate. Chad Logan ’10,a candidate for SBA President, is notpictured. Fiske withdrew from the VicePresidential race on Wednesday.Vice PresidentRoland ChangHometown: San Francisco, CAUndergraduate Institution:University of California, San DiegoLaw School Activities: President,Asian Pacific American Law StudentsAssociation; Member, SBA DiversityCommittee; Editorial Board,Virginia Journal of InternationalLaw; Participant, Lile Moot CourtCompetition (2nd Round)As SBA Vice-President, I would beresponsible for running elections atthe Law School and overseeing all ofthe SBA Committees (Admissions,Diversity, Career Services, etc.). AsVice-President, I plan to focus onthree primary goals:Improving the OGI and jobsearch processI propose creating a systemwhere students who have alreadygone through the OGI process canfill out their approximate classrank, school activities, and workexperience in an anonymous survey.Students would also list thefirms they interviewed with, andwhich firms gave them callbacksand offers. This information wouldbe centralized in a database and► PSCcontinued from page 1Speakers and Attendees Alike Impressed By Conferenceworkshops occurred Saturdayafternoon after lunch and werewell-attended.All of the conference organizerswith whom the Law Weeklyspoke indicated that theythought the conference was ahuge success and praised theefforts of the dozens of studentvolunteers who made it all possibleby coordinating panels,making travel arrangements,helping set up, and arrangingthe logistics of having an eventthat was attended by hundredsof members of the Law School’09); Winter Pro Bono ProjectAs a current member of theSBA, I believe that I have a realisticunderstanding of what the roleof the President entails. I pledgeto carry on and build upon thequalities and traditions that makeUVA Law a truly special place.My 4 Top Priorities:1)Greater Support in the JobSearch: In today’s difficult economicclimate, now more than ever,we need to increase the resourcesavailable to students during the recruitingprocess. I intend to increaseopportunities for one-on-one mentoringand guidance, with a greateremphasis on assisting studentslooking for employment followingthe conclusion of OGI’s.2) A Renewed Emphasis on PublicService: Giving back to the communityin the form of pro bonoservice will make us better, moreaccessible to the general studentbody. Given our current economicclimate, students need as much informationas possible in order to bidselectively on firms.Increasing public service opportunitiesWork with the Law School administrationon securing more fundingfor PILA grants and LRAP.Pushing for greater diversity atthe Law SchoolUtilize student organizations toincrease outreach to admitted minorityapplicants.I am focusing on these three goalsbecause they can be implemented byexisting SBA Committees. I wouldalso like to work closely with thenext SBA President on improvingfood at the Sidley Austin Café. Wedeserve to have healthier and moreaffordable dining options at the LawSchool.Dallas KaplanHometown:Great Falls, VAUndergraduate Institution:Davidson CollegeLaw School Activities: SBA ClassRep, Lile Moot Court, Federalist Societycommunity as well as prominentgovernment officials.Third-year Phil Storey, theconference publicity organizer,who himself plans to enter a careerin public service when hegraduates, was ebullient. “I havebeen to four Public Service Conferences,and this one by far hadthe best turnout,” he said, addingagain that it was the studentvolunteers who made everythingpossible. Stockey concurred: “Iwas really happy that we wereable to get so many interestingspeakers that students wanted towell-rounded attorneys and will displaythe type of civic duty espousedby our founder. I would like to setas a target that we will increase thenumber of graduates completing thePro Bono Challenge by 33% for theentering class of law students.3) Increased SBA Accessibilityand Interaction with the StudentBody: I intend to hold a town hallmeeting this spring to field anyand all suggestions for how theSBA can best represent the studentbody over the next year. I willalso attend at least one meetingof every student organization thatwill have me over the next year.4) More Variety and Healthy DiningOptions in the Cafeteria: I will striveto improve the choices available inthe student dining lounge with anemphasis on more healthy options.Thanks and please remember tovote on Monday or Tuesday!photo by Daniel Hervig ’11It’s been said a thousandtimes before, but I truly believethat UVA Law is a special place,unique among its peer institutions.What really sets this placeapart is the spirit of the studentbody. We are diverse, passionatefor justice, and have an unrivaledrespect for our colleagues thatgoes beyond whatever frivolity“collegiality” has as a buzzword.The SBA’s mission, first and foremost,is to represent this spirit andhelp it thrive. As Vice President,one of my principal duties will beto coordinate our various committees,including Programming,Barristers’, Academic Concerns,and Alumni Relations, to name afew. As a former FYC Representativeand 2010 Class Representativefor the past two years, I have theexperience necessary for this task.As one of four members of the adhoc committee that updated theSBA Constitution and Bylaws, Iknow what is expected of the SBAMembership and its ExecutiveBoard. My personal qualities ofcompassion, respect, and enthusiasmmake me an ideal candidate.I hope you will consider supportingme for SBA VP.see—the speakers did a great job,and that encouraged students tostick around see more panels.”The conference organizerswere not the only ones who wereimpressed. During the Friday eveningcocktail hour, CongressmanPeriello, after noting that he wasexcited about the change that hepredicted a new Congress and anew President would bring, saidthat he was very impressed bythe conference and thought thatwhat the Law School was doingto support public service and thelaw was great.

Friday, 06 February 2009Jacqueline Choi ’09Aaron Friedman ’10Erin Thompson ’10Barristers’ Ball co-chairsSBA Notebook:Have a Ball at Boar’s Head!VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY News & Student Life 3Peer AdvisorAnnouncementsChris Langbein ’09 and Klinton Miyao ’09Peer Advisor Co-Directorslangbein@virginia.eduksmiyao@virginia.eduWe are very excited about our upcomingBarristers’ Ball, otherwiseknown as the Law School Prom.Ticket sales this year have reached arecord high, so it seems we’re not theonly ones. It may have somethingto do with the venue, The Boar’sHead Inn, a gorgeous UVA-ownedproperty located on Ivy Road. Or itmay have something to do with thetheme, Masquerade! It could be thatthe tickets are cheaper. Or maybe it’sbecause during these times, everyonejust needs to party.This year’s Barristers’ Ball committeeis comprised of our cochairsand Jonathan Henry (’10),Logan Margulies (’10), and KathrynThroo (’10). Ryan Quillianwas instrumental in obtainingthe necessary banquet approvals.Here are the nuts and bolts of thisyear’s Barristers’ Ball: Masquerade!Most Important: The Boar’sHead Inn is one of the finestvenues to host Barristers’ Ball inmany years. We cannot emphasizeenough how incredibly fortunatewe are to have our eventthere. Please help us maintainour new relationship with Boar’sHead by making the most of thisopportunity and staying classyall night longThis is Pretty Important, Too:Do not forget to bring your ticketand ID. You will not be able topurchase tickets at the door.Time: The party begins at 9p.m. and ends at 1 a.m. We highlyencourage people to be ontime as the first 280 people toarrive will receive a free mask.Location: The Boar’s HeadMeeting Pavilion.Transportation: If you decideto drive, there is a parking lot directlyacross from the Pavilion.Space is very limited, so therewill be a bus shuttle between theLaw School (outside Caplin Auditorium)and the Boar’s HeadInn from 8:30 p.m. - 1:30 a.m.Dress: Black tie is optional,with emphasis on “optional.”Semi-formal or formal attire isfine—you’ll fit in either way.► CANDIDATEScontinued from page 1QualificationsDiscussedtive Treasurer to a higher office inorder to improve the operationsof the various student governmentcommittees such as careerservices and public interest. Whatall candidates agreed upon wasthe high praise they had for theeducation they are receiving andthe amount of enjoyment they getfrom the student body.As of Tuesday, there weretwo offices which still had nocandidates, or unlimited candidatesif you are feeling philosophical.According to SBA by-laws,write-in votes will determine thenext Executive Treasurer and ExecutiveSecretary for the SBA. Forthose interested in conducting awrite in campaign, please contactStephanie Fier at stephaniefier@virginia.edu. In addition, Fiskeinformed the Law Weekly thathe had withdrawn from the VicePresidential race. He did not providea reason for his decision.Please note that there will be acoat check.Entertainment: There will bea DJ as well as our very own lawschool musical group, LearnedBand, featuring 3Ls Jon Bryan,Will Cleveland, Sarah Fritsch, andNaveen Pai, and 2L Neal Hayes.The band will only be playingfrom 10:00-11:00 p.m., so again,make sure you get to the Ball ontime so you don’t miss their set!Food and Drink: There will belimited food, so please eat beforeyou arrive. Open bar is between9:00 p.m. and 12:00 a.m. with acash bar to follow until 1:00 a.m.Non-drinking ticket holders are notpermitted to purchase alcoholicbeverages during open bar hours.Theme: If you plan on wearinga mask and haven’t purchased oneyet, you still have a lot of options. Asmentioned, there will be free masksfor the first 280 people. There is alsoa costume shop right off 29 North,The Party Starts Here, where theysell masks ranging from one dollarto $25. If you want a one-of-a-kindpiece, you can easily make yourown by going to Michaels (BarracksRoad Shopping Center) or Target(29 Very North, close to the airport),where they have all the necessarysupplies. Please note that youneed very little artistic ability to puttogether a decent-looking mask. Or,you can wear a grocery paper bagand cut holes for eyes and a mouth.Not only is this method simple, butit’s environmentally friendly! Thislast one was a joke; we’re not sure ifit would be very healthy breathingwise,to wear a bag over your head.Law Weekly CorrectionLast week’s Law Weekly accidentallycut off the end of Tom Seider’sexcellent column. Here is the finalparagraph in full.“It was an obvious attempt tocheer me up, and it isn’t all that easyto be a convincing dinosaur wheneating tomato soup. But it was closeenough.”In case you’re one of the threepeople who doesn’t read ANG first,last week’s issue encountered serioustechnical difficulties. Only bythe grace of the University’s Printing& Copying office did the issue makeit to press on time. In that respect,we’re pleased that this was the only(egregious) error.We heard you missed us. We’reback!Journal tryouts are coming upFebruary 20–23 and February 28–March 1. Bluebooking tutorials willbe held February 16 at noon andFebruary 17 at 4:00 p.m. We have noidea why the tryout editors insist onmaking one of the tryout weekendsthe first weekend of spring break,but get used to misery when it comesto journals. In our view, they have along and distinguished tradition oftrying to make 1Ls as uncomfortableas possible during the entireprocess of joining. We’ll be distributingsome additional information toyou through your PAs that will helpsome. In the meantime, though, wewant to give you all one central pieceof advice: TRY OUT! We haven’t yetheard any persuasive reasons whypretty much every single personshouldn’t complete the journal tryout.Just do it. Trust us.SBA elections are coming up.They’re usually just big popularitycontests, but they don’t have to be.We recommend that you look forstudents with realistic goals. Sure,it’s great that someone wants to cuttuition in half, build a parking garage,and get Mötley Crüe to playCaplin Pavilion, but it seems prudentto organize the to-do list in order offeasibility. Also, students have beenrunning on the free coffee platformfor at least the past four years (andprobably before that, too). Don’t getyour hopes up.Your fall grades should be startingto trickle in about now, althoughit may take up to a month more insome cases. Law school professorsare notoriously bad about gettinggraded exams back on time, so getused to this now. I’m sure we’d all behappy to take shorter exams, professorscould grade fewer pages, andeveryone would be better off. Efficiencyand value creation, however,just aren’t hallmarks of the Americanlaw school system.It’s pretty much bad form to talkabout grades, just as it was to talkabout exams (although in the lattercase, it’s technically an honor codeviolation to boot). If you crushedit and are assured of a Law Reviewspot: good for you, keep it to yourself.If you didn’t do as well as youliked: you’re not alone. You’d beshocked at how many successfulpartners at the most elite firms havetold us that they struggled in theirfirst semester in law school. Somepeople aren’t wired for the lawschool game, and that’s probablya good thing for the game of life.Instead of feeling bad, think of thissemester as an opportunity to learnfrom your mistakes and light it upthis spring. 2L recruiting still a longway away.Of course, if you need a studybreak, Feb Club will be proceedinguntil spring break. Do your thingand have fun, but don’t do anythinginsanely dumb. Remember, you haveto disclose every arrest or citation tomost state bars as part of your characterand fitness review. You definitelydon’t want to have to write anessay about how you were picked upby ChoPo on the Fifth Street medianpassed out in a chicken costume coveredin maple syrup with a bad legalpun Sharpied onto your forehead.DILLARD FELLOW TRY-OUTSfor the Legal Research and Writing Programduring the 2009-10 academic year.Tryouts are open to all first and second year studentsand may be completed over a 3-day period.First pick-up day: Friday, January 30, 2009Last turn-in day: Friday, February 27, 2009Pick-up and turn-in location and times: WB 348aMonday-Friday: 8:00-10:30 and 2:00-4:30REGISTER NOWLaw School Foundation’s 29 th AnnualPHONATHONHelp keep UVA Law #1 in alumni supportMonday – WednesdayFebruary 23-25, 200910:00 am – 8:00 pmSlaughter Hall Alumni Lounge (SL308)The LSF will donate $10 to thestudent organization of your choicefor every hour you call.Free food & prizes.Register online at www.law.virginia.edu/phonathonQuestions:Kurt Davis – kdavis@virginia.eduNicole Stockey – nstockey@virginia.edu

4 ColumnsVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYFriday, 06 February 2009Big Girls Don’t Cry. Unfortunately, I’m Quite Small.I used to be an emotionalrobot. For years, I laughed atpeople that got “super-upset”Allison Muth ’09Columnistabout anything,especially whenit ended in tears.I had emotionprecisely once a year. I likedto call it my “lovably nervousbreakdown.” Cute affectionatename! For the worst day in mylife. It always occurred duringcross country practice, alwaysbegan during the team meetingleading up to a tempo run, and italways REALLY hit the fan abouta mile in. Apparently, I HATErunning. Once a year.Anyways, so this “emotionalwithdrawal” continued untilI got to college. I have a hypothesisfor this. Just a guess, Iwould say “emotions are highlycorrelated to the amount of irresponsibledrinking being done.”The beer wants to escape! Out ofyour eyes! So, in honor of February,and the odds that at least afew of you will have a touch toomuch to drink at some point, I’dlike to explain a few commontypes of tears.Happy Tears. If we pretendfor a moment that this is not amyth, this is what happens whensome guy proposes to some girlthat he loves. Usually, she startstearing up. That’s assuming itwould be happy tears, not hercrying desperately as she thinks“oh s*** s*** s***, I KNEW notdumping him would f*** me atsome point, but now I’ll NEVERget away from this jacka**.” So .. . woo . . . happy tears.Tears from Movie Trailers.Once I became “in touch” withmy emotions, I couldn’t shakethem! I feel like Britney Spearsand her loyal paparazzi. Nomatter how many times I run,the emotions still find out I’mgoing commando! (Somethinglike that?) Anyways, now, sometimesI cry during movie trailers.I’m not sad, I just feel verystrongly about meaningful movies.There’s Miracle or that oneabout the Irish kid whose momtells him his dad is a sailor on aspecific ship (lie!) but eventuallythe ship will dock at Galway(where they live), and he’ll getto see his dad! (but his dad isn’ton it), so his mom hires someonea little sketchy but ultimately ridiculouslyattractive to be hisdad (and the mom and “dad” fallin love . . . obvi), BUT then someother kids yell down to him forlornlystanding on the wharves,“You don’t even have a real dad.”Heartbreaking. If you don’t tearup a little during that thirtysecond spot, you hate children.Which is blatantly against culturalnorms, so you might wantto work on it.Buddhist Tears. This is prettyself-explanatory. “Any and alltears that happen in Buddhist.”Got it? The story-line for Buddhisttears usually goes somethinglike this: Leave apartment.Get to Buddhist. Three Sols.Happy! Three more Sols. Sad .OMG, there’s that guy you onceliked, with some girl that yousort of know but don’t really,and they look like they’re talking. . . which means they’re inLOVE. Tears! After that, it’s sortof “Choose Your Own Adventure.”Path One: go home, wakeup in the morning with the realizationthat you don’t actuallyeven remember his last name.So, boy, that was silly. Path Two:confront them dramatically. I’llleave it to your imagination/skipto page 147/next trip to Buddhistto see how that one ends.Sick Tears. Nothing is quiteas debilitating as unrelenting illness.With no end in sight, andreally nothing else to do, cryingstarts to seem like a viablealternative. Thought process:“Could I really look worse at thispoint?” Probably, but not THATmuch worse.Depression Tears. Depressionisn’t funny. Um, depressionmakes you cry because you viewimage courtesy of hubpages.comThere’s no crying in baseball. Unfortunately (again), Allison doesn’t playbaseball.the world in an overly pessimisticway? Yup, that sounds familiar.Completely InexplicableTears. Okay, probably my favorites.Sometimes your eyes juststart leaking. As you reach up totouch your face, you realize thatthose are not indoor raindrops,but actually water coming outof your eyes. Magic! There’s noreal explanation, but you stilldon’t have any control to stopthem. I find that laughing showspeople that you are not cryingseriously. But it also makes youlook a little bit crazy. So, one ofthose trade-offs again.Tears For Which You Deserveto Get Smacked. I wouldtell a story about myself cryingat some point where it was completelyirrational and unnecessary,but (1) I’m pretty sure I’vealready done that, and (2) whynot tell this one? During highschool beach week (if you didnot have this at your high school,it’s a week . . . at the beach), Istayed at my boyfriend’s housefor a night. Due to the financialstraits of the participants, therewere four people, plus me, in thepocket-sized room. During thenight, my boyfriend started tosnore. Loudly. In a mature way,his best friend starts punchinghim in a devoted effort tomake him stop. Instead of stopping,“Brian” mutters a littleand swings his arm a bit. “John”continues hitting, so “Brian”reaches back and (still sleeping)punches. Me. In the stomach.In a mild rage, I take all ofthe blankets and go to sleep onthe floor. Fast-forward to morning,at which time I refuse to getback in bed and cuddle (whilehe refuses to believe my “talltale” of what happened duringthe night). At this point, “Brian”starts to cry, and tells me thathe misses his ex-girlfriend. Seriously?Fights with the Parents Tears.Are you still fifteen-years-old?No? Good. See above category.Sympathetic Tears. Tears canbe like disease, and SPREAD.“My best friend is crying abouthow her relationship is fallingapart! Oh GOD, my life suckstoo! ” Alright, that mightnot actually show sympathy orempathy or whatever, but realizingyour life sucks too is upsetting.I’m pretty sure zero male readersmade it this far.Email: aam7x@virginia.eduAnd Who’s To Say That Reptilian Alien Lizaroids Aren’t Ruling the World?Matt Farmer ’10ColumnistAfter days of intensive investigatoryresearch, this columnisthas uncovered a series of seeminglycoincidentalfacts and occurrences.But makeno mistake: thereis nothing coincidental aboutthem. Like the hidden messagesMicrosoft embeds in its Wingdingsfont, this is very real. The administrationmay have you believethat chance is the only thing behindwhat you are about to read,but I’d suggest that you not be sonaive. Just like when you realizedthat NASA faked the moon landings,the following informationmay shock you.On January 29, PresidentObama named UVA Law ProfessorDavid Martin Principal DeputyGeneral Counsel of the Departmentof Homeland Security.David Martin just happens tobe an expert in immigration andrefugee law.David Martin’s new boss is newSecretary of Homeland SecurityJanet Napolitano. Janet Napolitanowent to a little school—youmight have heard of it—calledUVA Law.David Martin and Janet Napolitanoare longtime friends. Wellisn’t that convenient. Maybe alittle too convenient?On January 31, Justice SamuelAlito spoke at UVA Law on theimportance of public service.Where was David Martin for thistalk? In the front row.This was the same Justice Alitowho, not a week before, hired26-year-old Winn Allen to be hisclerk. And where did Winn Allengraduate from law school? Yep:UVA.David Martin andJanet Napolitano arelongtime friends. Wellisn’t that convenient.Maybe a little tooconvenient?On top of this, staff writersfrom the Law Weekly werecaught last weekend breakinginto Student Record’s transcriptsarchives, but not before they discovereda valuable piece of information:Winn Allen was a studentof David Martin’s in 2007. Honorcode violation? Most definitely.Coincidence? Oh, no, no.While all of this was going on,other students at UVA Law weregearing up for the start of FebClub, a collection of 29 consecutivethemed parties.That same weekend, formerDean John Jeffries was spottedwalking around the law school inplain clothes. But where wasn’tDean Jeffries spotted in plainclothes? I’ll tell you: at any ofthe first week Feb Club parties.Because he wasn’t there? Or becausehe was in costume?February 1 was the first day ofFebruary. This actually seems tocheck out.The first day of February, however,was not the first day of FebClub. That day happened to fallin January—the same month inwhich Barack Obama becameAmerica’s president. And what isthe theme of one of the Feb Clubparties? You guessed it: America.At the first Feb Club party,there was someone who wasdressed as George W. Bush. PresidentGeorge W. Bush. But there’sonly one catch: he’s no longer thePresident.Oh, by the way, the followingnight—February 1—was SuperBowl XLVIII. Guess what was noticeablymissing on that night? AFeb Club party.And just where was Dean Jeffriesthen? We. Don’t. Know.One of the teams playing inthe Super Bowl was the Cardinals.The Arizona Cardinals. Atthis point, you might be wonderingwho used to be Governor ofArizona. Well I’ll tell you: it wasJanet Napolitano.And the score of the SuperBowl? 27-23. The year Janet Napolitanograduated from UVALaw? 1983. No problems there?Well, get this: 1 + 9 + 8 + 3 =21. Also a common football score,as it turns out.And maybe you were wonderingwhat Janet Napolitano’s favoritecolor is. Well, brace yourself:it’s Red. The same color asthe Cardinal’s uniforms, and thesame color as the walls of WinnAllen’s bedroom when he was astudent at UVA Law.I’ll tell you what else is red:the ink all over my Federal IncomeTax final. How do I knowthis? Well, I don’t—it’s been twomonths and I still don’t have mygrades. Call me paranoid, but Ijust have a feeling it’s not goingto be pretty.Strangely enough, both WinnAllen and Barack Obama tookFederal Income Tax, and bothhappened to get A’s. But do youknow who failed the very samecourse? That’s right: Tom Daschle.Now, if you take those two A’sand add a third, that gives youAAA. What does that stand for?Oh, I think you know: Trip Aces.Precisely the hand that recentlylost me $400 in Professor Martin’sweekly poker game.But there’s more. The winninghand—a club flush—was held bynone other than 1L Sam Poole.Which seems innocent enoughuntil you realize that Sam Poolevoted for Barack Obama.And ‘round and ‘round wego. Honestly, I wouldn’t havethought much about all of thisif it weren’t for a conversationI overheard between Dean Jeffries,Professor Martin, and WinnAllen in Slaughter Hall the otherday. They were laughing, talkingabout how law professors don’tactually read exams but insteadassign grades randomly. That’swhen it dawned on me: thesethree had no business being atthe law school on a Saturday!That’s when I began to get suspicious. . .Email: farmer@virginia.eduExperience the Difference at Jefferson Ridge- Our ConvenientLocation has easy access to I-64, is just 7 minutes from the LawSchool, and is just 7 minutes from downtown

Friday, 06 February 2009VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Reviews & Columns 5Kara Peeks at Slumdog Millionaire Through Her ScarfKara Allen ’10ReviewerCall me selfish, but after seeingBen Stiller eating guts and watchingsome adult fare with Radke, Ithought I deserved to watch somethingthat didn’t make me cringein disgust. I figured Golden Globewinner and Oscar nominee giantSlumdog Millionaire wouldn’t disappoint.I was wrong.Well, not entirely. It was a greatmovie, but it seems even qualitycinema cannot avoid the grossout,cringe trend started by There’sSomething About Mary. That moment,however, was worked intothe drama, twists, humor, and bittersweetmoments of Slumdog Millionaireas seamlessly as the restof the amazing coincidences thatexplain how an assistant phoneoperator could know the answersto so many trivia questions createdby tireless corporate televisiondrones.You probably know the plot already—eighteenyear old orphanJamel Malik (played by newcomerDev Patel, who shows great promisebased on dance moves alone)grew up on the streets, and makesa remarkable appearance on theshow Who Wants to be a Millionaire.The movie flashes backwardin time to various turning points ofhis life, which was slightly difficultto follow at first.That isn’t a criticism of this movieso much as of film today. Thetrouble is that we as an audienceare used to having plots explainedto us the way Barney might explainarithmetic to Stephen Wendell afterhis team just lost the springsoftball championship game toHarvard. This movie simply dropsus in the middle of the story, andhas enough confidence in us to believewe will catch up. Sort of likethat swim coach who threw youinto the deep end of the pool whenyou were five during your thirdswim lesson.The story is riveting and excitingenough that we want to catch up,much the way our will to live motivatesus to keep flutter kickingwhile shrieking at our coach. Theopening jump starts your adrenaline,and from there the dramaticscenes are spaced just far enoughapart to keep you engaged. Evenat a moment when I knew ‘nothingbad’ was going to happen, I waspeeking through my scarf becauseI was afraid to watch. (Being unableto watch climactic momentsprobably makes me unqualified toreview movies, but luckily Ryan D.can no longer do anything aboutit.)The movie is intense, but nevertakes it too far. You are left withthe impression that you are simplywatching Jamel’s life as it happened,rather than a movie tryingto shock and horrify you (which,in fact, it is). You trust this movie.Even though you know it is art thatis trying to send a message and influenceyour emotions, you buy it.Part of this trust comes from thecharacters of the movie. Jamel, onthe one hand, is a character thatone cannot help but trust. Despitean extremely difficult life, he actsas if deceit is something that simplydoes not occur to him. At onepoint he is asked, “Why did you saythat when you knew it would provokehim?” Jamel looks confused,and replies, “When someone asksme a question, I answer.”The movie does not expect us,however, to believe that all peoplework this way—Jamel is theonly idealist. Jamel’s brother Salim,in particular, is a compellingcharacter you alternate betweenadmiring and despising. Othercharacters are outright loathsome,yet when they come to a bad endwe share Jamal’s horror, not hisbrother’s righteous anger. We trustJamel to have the correct perspective,or perhaps we want to sharehis innocence.Despite the realism of the settingand the supporting characters,the movie hefts some veryidealistic messages on us. Onemain theme is Jamel’s love forLatika, an orphan girl he meetsas a child. His notions about her,and love generally, are downrightnaïve in their innocence, the sortof ideas you would expect of kidsin Mary Poppins, not kids runningfor their lives from Indian religiousmilitants. The second majortheme involves fate—in a worldfilled with unpredictable violenceand atrocities that even childrencannot escape, greater forces arestill guiding the hand of destiny.Overall, both themes are difficultto swallow in a non-Mary Poppinsbackdrop, but perhaps that iswhat makes them compelling. Ina bad recession, that is probablyabout to get worse, we want tobelieve in love and fate, unrealisticthough it may be. We wantthose things to be possible still (althoughI am not trying to comparepaying $3 per gallon of gas withliving in the slums of India).As if that weren’t enough, themovie is also great from an artisticperspective. The unique framingcreated memorable shots,and even the credits were, to usea technical graphic design term,‘cool.’ Someone put a great dealof time and care into every aspectof this film, and while it probablyruined their marriage/internetromances and drove them crazylike the guy who wrote the Tetristheme song, they gave us a goodreason to drop $10 at the movietheater.A New Face for a Different VisionKurt Davis ’09ColumnistIn electing Michael Steele as thenew Chairman of the Republican NationalCommittee, the Grand Old Partysupposedly illustratedits naturalability for grabbingthe spotlight andreforming its identity. After this momentousselection, Republicans mayhave confronted the stereotype of theRepublicans as the party of old whitemen. However, time will tell if theRepublicans have chosen the leaderthat can quickly adapt and transformthe party into one that is inclusive, responsiveto the masses, and politicallyprepared for the intellectual positioningthat will occur, not between whatis conservative or liberal, but ratherwhat is the right future for America.It will be that last aspiration that willtell the near future of the RepublicanParty.The former Maryland LieutenantGovernor opened eyes to the potentialchange in the makeup of the RepublicanParty with the statement:“We’re going to bring, we’re going tobring this party to every corner, everyboardroom, every neighborhood,every community, and we’re going tosay to friend and foe alike, we wantyou to be a part of us, we want youto work with us, and for those of youwho wish to obstruct, get ready to getknocked over.”That opening of doors may takesome time. Steele won 91 votes outof the possible 168 after six rounds.It is unclear as to whether the sixrounds needed to win the position forsomeone most viewed as a promisingoutsider will be foretelling of theamount of time and/or elections thatmay be needed for the Republicans toreplace some of the Old Guard withnew leadership and new ideas. TheRepublican Party leadership shouldtake notice that it took several electionsfor the Democrats to remaketheir party and remove some archaicideas and thoughts from the top of itsleadership.Whether or not Steele is the solutionto a stalled and stagnant party, hebrings energy and the most moderateidealism available in the field of candidates.His past association with a centristgroup connected to former NewJersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman(R) bothered some social conservatives.While his family values maybe questioned, Steele is not exactly amoderate of any sense in the overallpolitical spectrum. After watching thespectacle that became his selection,the pro-life, pro-gun, free-market-lovingSteele’s best display of change forthe party may be his growing list ofFacebook and Twitter friends.The color of Steele’s skin shouldnot be the focus in the aftermath ofthe election. The Republican Partyhas been amazing with incorporatingminorities into leadership levels.Minorities—specifically African-Americans, Hispanics, and women—arevisible at all levels withinthe party. While there will be muchcriticism tossed at individuals suchas Sarah Palin, Condoleezza Rice,and Alberto Gonzalez, advancementhas been made in opening doors andopportunities to groups previouslyabsent at all levels of government.However, it is easy to understand thenew urgency within the RepublicanParty . . . they don’t have the firstblack president.While incorporation of minoritieswill be a big factor in determiningthe future for the Republican Party, amore salient concern may be the lossof independents and liberal-to-moderateRepublicans to the Democraticvoting bloc. The failure of the RepublicanParty to realize that cateringsolely to social conservatives hurtstheir potential for bringing in new votersover time.Speaking primarily about familyvalues—abortion and gay marriagein particular—and pandering to therest of voters with lower taxes andunfocused national security does littlewhen it is not followed by substance.The relief of the gas tax for a week orso was just that type of pandering.Independents and liberal Republicansare waiting for the focus to shiftback to helping middle class families,strengthening education in America,making sensible immigration laws,and implementing sound foreignpolicy.Will Steele answer the call? He hasbeen labeled as either a very experiencedand savvy media player or asa manipulator. Yet, that does not answerthe question of whether he canfill the void of leadership in a partystill searching for another iconic (orat least visionary) mind to replaceformer President Ronald Reagan,and forge the party in a new directiondespite the resistance of many members.Driving ideas further to the deepend of conservatism will fail just asdriving ideas to the deep end of liberalismwill fail. Ideology will haveto succumb to intellectual investigationand navigation and the jargon ofdisconnected showmen will have tosuccumb to a vision that can be translatedto all corners of America andthe world. Until then, independentsand liberal-to-moderate Republicansmight just see more of the Americandream in the Democratic Party (orless of it in the Republican Party).Email: kdavis@virginia.eduTitle SummaryProCon GradeBlogAvec Eric, CookingBlog, www.aveceric.comFor all of you Top Chef fans and foodiesout there, the name Eric Ripertshould be familiar to you. A frequentguest-judge on Top Chef, Ripert is thechef/part-owner of Le Bernardin inNew York City, one of only a handful ofMichelin Guide three-star restaurantsin the United States. He also recentlyopened the West End Bistro in D.C. DespiteLe Bernardin’s focus on seafood,this website includes a range of recipes.Tired of faux-chefs like RachaelRay and Sandra Lee?Eric Ripert’s blog provides anumber of good, easy-to-makerecipes for the home cook. Italso includes a video series ofRipert making a number ofquick recipes using nothingbut a toaster oven. These aremade even more enjoyablewith Ripert’s easygoing styleand thick French accent.The biggest problems withthe site are the heavy-handedand omnipresent advertisements.For example, the seriesof videos on recipes fora toaster oven are a not-sosubtlesales pitch for a $250Cuisinart toaster oven. Also,if you’re looking for some ofRipert’s more sophisticatedrecipes, better to check out hiscookbooks.ADVDNick and Nora’s InfinitePlaylist, DVD andBlu-Ray, Released Feb.3Nick and Nora are Michael Cera (Superbad;Juno) and Kat Dennings (40Year Old Virgin). The film traces howthe two come to find each other on anight full of surprises in New York City.While playing a gig with his high schoolband, Nick, who is trying to get over beingdumped, meets Norah at the clubwhere he’s playing. The film is based onthe novel by Rachel Cohn.Add equal parts New York City,good and young actors, a wittyscript, and a good soundtrack,and you’re bound to have atleast a somewhat enjoyablemovie. That said, don’t expect itto be this year’s version of Juno.However, if you long for dayswhen mix tapes were signs ofaffection, rather than Facebookpokes, you’ll probably be happywith this on your Netflix queue.The basic plotline seems alittle worn: teenagers out on anight of adventure learn moreabout themselves and fall in lovealong the way. It sounds a littlelike a modern, urban Dazed andConfused, but with alternativemusic and less marijuana. We’realso wondering how long Ceracan play a young, nerdy love interest.He’s got to start growingfacial hair at some point.B+

6 The Back PageVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYFriday, 06 February 2009Everyone seems to be makinga huge deal about classingup Barristers’ this year. It’s atDoug Bouton ’10Columnistthe Boar’s HeadInn, we hired aworld renownedsymphony orchestra,and it’s a mandatoryblack tie dress code. On top ofall of this, there are whispers allthroughout the Law School: “Ifwe embarrass UVA Law, they’llnever even let firms host eventsat the Boar’s Head.” “This year isa test to see if UVA Law can handlean open bar.” (Spoiler Alert:We can’t.)Now, don’t get me wrong. Whatwe do and how we act at Barristers’reflects directly on the LawSchool community. For instance,if your lady friend is impatientand can’t hold it and so insistson using the guys’ bathroom,and then the bouncer kicks herout as a result, it’s probably notworth it to start a ruckus withthe bouncer and defy the cops’instructions to the point of gettingtased. So, I’m all for no onegetting tased this year. That beingsaid, let’s not act so sophisticatedand cosmopolitan thatthe Boar’s Head mistakes us forHarvard Law.Cleary, the easiest and fastestway to break the bourgeoischaracter of this year’s ball is onthe dance floor. Since we havean orchestra instead of a DJ, wealready have one strike againstus. But, never fear, if you’ve seenTake the Lead, all we need is AntonioBanderas/me to teach ushow to bring a little spice to theelitist world of ballroom dancing.And that is where Beyoncé/SashaFierce comes in. Her doublealbum, I Am . . . Sasha Fierce, notonly cuts straight to the core ofme, but also readily lends itselfto ballroom dance adaptation.The key is that Beyoncé, who justperformed for President Obama,is more than agreeable for theritzy bourgeoisie. Joke’s onthem, though, when she flips toSasha Fierce, her sassy alter egowho doesn’t play by the rules.Slow Waltz to the tune of “IfI Were a Boy.”Barristers’ Beyoncé BallIf I were a transsexual, evenjust for a day, this would be mytheme song, and people wouldn’tstare when I recited this mantrain the hallway. Unfortunately,I’m not, but this song still speaksto me. Gosh, guys are such jerks.Anyways, as a slow song, “If IWere a Boy” pairs nicely withthe slow waltz, one of the fiverecognized dances under the internationalstandard—which isclearly acceptable to the elitesrunning Barristers’ this year. Butget this: the waltz was originallyderived from peasants. HA! Noteven the lowly proletariat, butPEASANTS. Oh, the irony.Further, Beyoncé, and nother sassy sidekick Sasha, actuallyperforms this song, and B’selegance will temporarily appeasethe privileged in charge.I can’t wait to see their faces,though, when they hear the incredibletwist at the end of thesong where we discover thatBeyoncé is actually NOT a boy,and the entire song is actually acommentary on the selfishnessthat pervades our misogynisticculture, an insight which bearsdirectly on the shortcomings ofthe lifestyles of the rich and famous.Wait. What? What justhappened? I blacked out.Lindy Hop to the tune of “Allthe Single Ladies”Composed only from two lines,ignorant critics call it repetitiveat best and redundant at worse.They couldn’t be more wrong.The cyclical nature of the songemphasizes the simple yet elusivetruth that, “If you liked it,then you shoulda put a ring onit.” This empowering phrase isalready being compared to thelikes of Aretha’s “Respect” andGloria Gaynor’s “I will survive”(actually true—see Wikipediaaka God).Since this one is performed bySasha and not B, though, Sasha’sin-your-face personality dominatesthe song, no doubt causingconcern among the stiflingaristocrats. So, even thoughwe’re pushing the envelope here,as long as we get down in theform of a Lindy Hop, we shouldbe able to slip this one by them.Although not officially underthe umbrella of ballroom dance,books on the subject often havean entire chapter dedicated tothe Lindy. And, lucky for us, theLindy is versatile. So, when theadvantaged upper class thinksthey have lulled us into obedience,we can throw in an unrefinedCharleston or Jitterbugjust to stick it to the man onemore time.More importantly, as a derivationof jazz dance, the LindyHop works well with Sasha’s“Single Ladies” ballad. Indeed,the influence and elements ofjazz dance are unmistakable inthe “Single Ladies” video. Littledoes high society know that thisvideo has inspired our choreographedcoup de grace and finalrejection of socialite culture: asSasha chants “all the single ladies”for the 37th time, we allstrip out of our formal attire toreveal sporty, asymmetric leotards,chanting in unison, “Didyou like it?” When the horrifiedelites reluctantly admit, “Yes,”we immediately quip back, “Wellthen, you should have put a ringon it. Oh, oh, oh . . .”Nightclub two-step to thetune of “Diva”To add insult to injury, andjust to make sure Boar’s Headrefuses to ever let us return, weend the night with Sasha’s latestanthem, “Diva.” Now, most ofyou neophytes probably haven’theard this one because you, unlikeme, don’t keep your ear tothe street. So, let someone withknowhow (read: me) enlightenyou. In this song, Sasha is infull effect, making it abundantlyclear that innocent B is longgone: Sasha raps the entire song.RAPS! Oh, the audacity. The affluentwill NOT be pleased. Howdare we blare a rap song at theirdebutante ball?!And just because we can, we’lldance a nightclub two-step,commonly referred to in the bizas the NC2S. Not only does anytwo-step work perfectly wellwith any rap song, but the NC2Sis known as the ballroom danceyou can do without lessons. Thecombination of a rap song withadlibbed ballroom dance moveswill surely repulse even the mostliberal of the wealthy.Email: dpb3a@virginia.eduM. Doran: There were twoletters in my mailbox when I returnedfrom Seattle. One a rejectionletter from the firm andone from my father with somenews. The hiring partner hadinterviewed me, written me arejection letter, and went homeand died the next day.C. Sprigman: If any of youever get on the Court and don’tfind a better way to representthis school than McReynolds, Iwill find a way to kill you.J. Harrison: Posner writesthese books . . . and he wrotethis one called “Law and Literature”where in the beginning hetalked about how much he lovedliterature. He then came outwith the book called “Law andSex,” so I looked in the beginning,hoping . . .J. Ryan: We may, on occasion,engage in role-playing. I’ll dressas Spiderman.J. Ryan: I reserve the right topunish you in ways that I won’tarticulate now.J. Mahoney: There is somethingof a cyborg in VannaWhite.M. Doran: Feb Club is a dubiousinstitution at best. You’relawyers, not frat or sorority people.J. Harrison: And then there’sthe unspeakable crime of havingsomeone park in your space afteryou’ve dug your car out [ofsnow]. Under Virginia law, youcan kill someone if they do that.I don’t know that; I hope so, becauseone day I’m going to do it.faculty quotesM. Doran: And in flagrant violationof the Tenth Commandmenthe covets his neighbor’s . .. his neighbor’s . . .Student: His neighbor’s wife?M. Doran: That’s Family Law!This is Property—he covets hisneighbor’s house! You’re one ofthose people looking forward toFeb Club aren’t you?R. Verkerke: I really recommendwaking up about a halfhour before you have to teach.It’s like a shot of adrenaline.Like someone stuck one of thoseepi-pens in your chest. “S--t! It’s7:23! I turned off my alarm!”J. Harrison: As a lay person,if someone asks you a question,do you have an obligation to tellthe truth?Student: Well, you have amoral obligation . . .J. Harrison: That’s not whatI’m talking about. Is this MoralSchool or Law School? Besides,if it weren’t law school, theywouldn’t have me teaching thisclass.T. Nachbar: Did you makethat up?Student: YesT. Nachbar: Practice Tip:When you’re in court and thejudge asks if you’re making stuffup, the answer is no.A. Coughlin: I’m trying to getdrug sniffing dogs to come in. IfI do, I’ll warn you in advance.C. Sprigman: The typicalcongressman is like a child molester.P. Stephan: If your branddoesn’t say “I’m cool,” but insteadsays “I support torture,”that can affect your business.SUMMER RESEARCH FELLOWSHIPJOHN M. OLIN PROGRAM IN LAW AND ECONOMICSUniversity of Virginia School of LawThe John M. Olin Program in Law and Economics at the Law School invites1 st and 2 nd year law students to apply for the 2009 Olin Summer ResearchFellowship in Law and Economics. The Olin Research Fellow is required tospend the summer at the Law School conducting his/her own research in an areaof law and economics with the supervision of a faculty member. The Fellowis expected to submit a first draft to the faculty advisor by August 4 and a finaldraft for approval by August 31. The research paper is then presented at an OlinStudent Lunch Discussion during the fall.The amount of the fellowship will be $12,000. One half of this amount will bepaid to the Fellow in June and the other half upon receipt of a completed paperconsidered satisfactory by the faculty advisor and the Director of the John M.Olin Program.First and second year applicants should submit their resume, undergraduate andlaw school transcripts (naming small section advisor), a brief (no more thanthree pages) research proposal and one letter of recommendation to Joyce Holtin room WB358 by February 26.