THE UNIVERSITY BUflBLE-BEE. - the Digital Library of Georgia

no,}THE UNIVERSITY BUflBLE-BEE.LIBRARY yI STING WHERE I LIGHT—I LIGHT OFTEN.VOLUME V, ATHENS, GA., JUNE 16, 1902. NUMBER 1.Our Aim.We strike the faults that bind us,The wrongs that we've been through,For the weal of those behind us,And the good that we can do;For the cause that lacks assistauco.For the wrongs that need resistance.For the future in the distance,And the good that we can do.Things in General.What The Bumble-Bee Sawand Said on His Trip Overthe Campus.THE BUMBLE-BEE had been on along journey. He had been hovering over the University of Georgia flower garden in 1897, and hadexpected to find the eweet scent ofnumerous flowers of justice, wisdom, and moderation. But insteadthere rose such a stench of Boggs-...iiici. - vdj.'R'l.oYrto.rrr-. f-f ^s«t:!d haw*-caused the vitals of a copperlinedautomaton, much more those of abumble bee, to perform gymnastic contortions. So he hied himaway to fairer fields and after fiveyears absence he flew back againcautiously holding his nose. Hedid uot recognize the peculiarbrand of smell which had charac- jterized the administration ofBoggs and Riley, and he ferventlythanked heaven for that, but anaroma by no means resemblingthat of a red geranium still arosefrom the outwardly fair garden.So he started on a toui of investigation. He first visited ScienceHall, that splendid monument ofrascally construction."'Tis the place, and all around it, asof old, the chimuejs fall;Breezes whistle, gas pipes freeze,rooms are cold in Science Hall,"he hummed airily.''Let's see who's in the chancellor's office. I know Boggs hasgone. Why, what's that in thechancellor's chair? Let me getmy microscope. Why, its WalterB. Hill. Cold blooded, clam-likeWalter. Some one told me he hadtried to teach ethics this year andflunked most bodaciously. He hadbest keep " hands off" of teachingand stick to administrative work ;he wasn't made for t. teacher.And who's this across the hall?My Lord ! its old Harry White, jSmooth, slick, bald-pated Harry,with his smiling face, of whomWilly Shakespeare said, 'Villain,damned smiling villain'. I supposed the devil had got that oldhypocrite years ago. I wonder ifhe still carries on that samecourse in Chemistry ! CHEMISTRY I !The boys used to call it sleep-istics.With hid sickening smirk and synagogue gestures, it was a case ofsleep or vomit. Let me get somefresh air. And he flew up stairs."What? ho gasped, "Charlie Hertygone? Well that's bad; guess hegot too big for the place though.Who's this in his place? Well I'lldeclare! old Grif Smith. Smithwho knows as much aboutchemistry as a hog does about sidepockets. He looks like he's inearnest, but surely the trustees canfind a man better able to fill theplace."I wonder if old l^roty 18 UpBtairs. ies, file old goggle-eyedfellow is still up there among theamoebae and crustaceae. He'sstill the same, good at heart andhonest in purpose, but hamperedby unfortunate mannerisms. He'sgot Billy Hoyt, he of the inanesmile and puny brain, with him.That's a good pair."The old Hall of Misrule, whereBandy Bosomed Ben' used toconduct his travesty on English,has been converted into the Pedunculate" he commented, ''and herepoor crazy Starues instills his vagaries about agriculture into theheads of a few unfortunates Hehas an assistant, a little runt witha stunted brain and a sandy mustache, named Johnson."I believe I'll visit the Yahoo.Same old conditions; rooms likehog-pens, and sanitary conditionseven worse.New College is next. Bobby Parkon the third floor. Park, the freshman's friend, with the waggingtongue and erratic brain. Park, therevolutionize^ the stink-stirrer.Lot me give you some advice,Bob; close your mouth, 'tend toyour own business, quit trying tocurry favor on both sides of everycontroversy, and you will be a valuable man. As for poor old incompetent Steve, why, folks sayhewmiLh'so I'll leave him alone. Goodnessknows that is the only consideration that induces me to do it, forif there ever was a man universally conceded to be incompetent,it is Jim Stephenson."Billy Hooper, he of the phonograph voice and the odoriferouspipe, occnp'ies the same office onsecond floor. Billy you've wakedup this year and seem really tohave got some work out of yourstudents so I wont stiijg you. Asfor Bocock, his case is different.A man with a brain like bis oughtto be a power for good instead of adrone in the hive, Forget yourrheumatism, throw away your pipe,cork up your bottle, interest yourself in affaire outside your department, and all will be well."Jimmy Lawrence, wild, harmlessJimmy, hasten away to your theological seminary. God never intended you for a teacher."As for VOU Mon. T/flgtra* .ycv.-'vt^* - . -~i*. -" ^ ""-*- "" ' « ""' "» 1been hx * a long time and haven'tyet learned AmaricaiA ways andAmerican customs. Some sayit's because your brain is dazedwith claret and your body soakedwith uicotiue. Just as a matter ofbenefit to those concerned, hadn'tVOU better go back tn your pleasant peasant life in France?"Now over in Moore Collegethings are not so bad. It's truethat Griggs is characterized by alove for smutty jokes, but he's afair instructor and as good a drillmaster as the present farce deserves. Charlie Strahau holdsforth to a favored few up here still,1 see. He certainly is not an aspiring personality, but he's a goodlittle man, takes an interest in college affairs, and would be a powerfor goodjf the students could butknow him."Prof. Patterson needs something to wake him out of his lethargy. He's honest and straight,but a horrible bore with his everlasting twaddle about electrics andathletics. Wake up Pat, there areother things in the world besidesToepler Holtz machines and football fields."In the Ivy building," quoth the Bee,"Silvy Morris still I see." -"I ibrgot to visit his brothe-John in New College, I underswallowingtobacco juice, that nehas acted more like a humanbeing, and less like a bear with .-»sore foot, than he used to. Johnis a good man but grouchy. Ihave less patience with SylvanualHe has brains, plenty of tham, buithey are of small avail against h^brutal meanness, and overbearingactions. He treats everyone as ifthey were his inferiors, and to sitin his lecture room and hear thestream of filthy language and vilejokes which issue from his sewerlikemouth, is enough to makepure morals and good manners revolt. The code of morality amongbumble bees is not high, but wewouldn't let Silvy handle our garbage."Judge Cobb is a lovable old|man, who has outlived his usefulness. He's insane on two or thrfjsubjects, and beats the youthour land out of $75 per annum ti|-- riii imnn --m. •*- Sia-*1 ***Ti§nmerrco nis unpassrcnod diatvibtfon Secession. Take a bumbljbee's advica and retire the jud/ (on a pension."Down to the library buildlflew the BUMBLE BEE and paiJvisit to a man whom he characdizedas follows: "Polly Me., ft*McPherson, with the three initiland the peanut soul. A mailwhose influence upon all he cornelin contact with is to impress then!with his stingy soul. A mau whjpinches every dollar till thescreams, who never expendedcent in any charitable pursuifjwho never helped a friend. \ 'man who'll never walk the goldpstreets for fear of wearing out (Igold. Su.ch a malformation )Polly is does very well as a teachfclof history, but asstudents, never."an example t

The Library.Better Order and a Better Librarian Advised.And you call this nursery thatmasquerades under the name of alibrary a pretty good institutiondo you? Well, well, well, of allthe simpletons in the world youare the prince.The editor of the Georgian somemonths ago came near expressingthe BEE'S sentiments on this matter, but I propose to say what that^gentleman, for the love of his dip,"could only hint at. He surely sawit Not an owl in the world butcould see in the brightest glare ofa noonday sun that the present librarian of the University of Georgia is no more competent to holdthe job than a Bumble Bee iscompetent to write love ditties,In this connection we are toldthat there was one lone professor inall the bunch that wasn't blinderthan the owl. This gentleman,the one that's trying to get a R. E.P. utation for himself, said to^that cold blooded bunch of imperturbability, the Chancellor; "Lotusend some of f ^ "ae same Georgiansthow them aU Kidea of what weaaed." Now what do you supposethe Chancellor said? He said, forsooth, that we must not think ofsuch a radical step for fear mayhap of HURTING SOMEONE'S feelings.Yes and this very thing of lettingsympathy for a simple old ladystand in the way of "plain duty"to the best interests of the collegewhat the BEE feels it more hisduty to Hting than anything else.Jow Clay's friend. Miss Puss,((Clay is the senator's sou thatstays in college with seventy nine| absences) is a goodhearted, lovalelady, but ihe has given evidence!of very great ability in the art ofrunning a nursery, so why not gether a position in an orphan asylum? Our politician, that boldbad boy, Byron B. Bower, of Bainge,ought to be able to bringabout. But of all the placesn this green earth that Miss Pussperson has not the ability toa, it i» a library; she does morefarm than the proverbial elephant[in the china shop, for instead of[destroying paltry pieces of chinadestroys the efficiency of thepost important acjunct of the col-Just to think of that old la-|ho sits up at her desk with alllaginary glory of a female?reatTHE UNIVERSITY BUMBLE-BEEdeal more about selling her measlylittle pots of candy than she doesabout supplying an ignorant boywith a good book. I say to thinkof her being called a librarian isabsolutely preposterous, ridiculous ; it's a disgrace to the state ofGeorgia, tha trustees of the University and the amalgamated association of Female LibrariansIn days gone by, when it wasthought that the only proficiencyneeded of a librarian was tne ability to climb a stppladder and readthe titles of books, Miss Friersonwould have answered the purposeas a librarian for the University,but those days have gone now ; sofar gone, in fact, that (he positionof librarian is as important as anyprofessorship in the University.Faerie Phillips was beginning toreach the standard of his workwhen he left us, but heaven knowshe was the only person wa haveseen on this campus who approached it.Miss Friersou lacks that groundwork of thorough education that isabsolutely essential to proficiencyin a librarian. If a student asksher for a specific book she may beable to find it, though frequentlyshefails, ev^n when the h>ok is inthe library : nut if the stu lent asRsher for all literature shi has ona specific subject the student is immediately directed to Poole's Indexor some such thing and is expectedto work out his own salvation. Ifthe student fails to work out thatsalvation to his own satisfactionand comes back with a complaintof Miss Frierson'fl not helping himshe becomes badly hurt and incensed that she should be expectedto more than handle the keys tothe library.Any man under the sun with anaverage intellect could go in thatlibrary and in seven days learnmore about it than Miss Puss hasdone in all these years, and hecould be of proportionately moreservice to the college. We can say,without the slightest fear of exaggerating, that there are "hundredsof books in that library that couldbe of inestimable value if therewere some one in existence whoknew of them and of their contents,but that are absolutely worthlessin the present state of affairs; thatare never opened from one decadeto another simply because MissFriersou takes it for granted thattheir usefulness is in inverse proportion to their age.Not only in the department ofmentality is Miss Frierson incompetent to handle the library, butjust as bad does she fail in her efforts to control the Freshmen.We do not blame her here so muchfor we believe that she really doesmake an hoiipst, pff >rfc to keep theroom quiet, buc tihe fails niosb ignominously,and the failure is atthe expense of tho college and itcannot afford to endure the resultsof the failure. In the morninghours when the room is well filledit presents the appearance in everyparticular, except its backgroundof books, of a nursery. The noiseis there, the children (Freshmen)are there, the play is there andsometimes even the dog is thereTo put an end to those nurseryscenes and to make study in thelibrary possible is utterly and absolutely beyond Miss Puss.In closing we would say: as everyone feels, that in making thisattack on Miss Frierson we aremaking it not on her personality,her character or her earnestness,but on her in her official capacityas librarian. The BUMBLE-BEE isa southern gentleman, and hesitates to attack a lady even officially, but the needs of the case andtha BEK'S earnestness have madeiMmpoeeibla for him to pass over]the subject of the library. Miss)Puss is a dear old lady and has afirm place in the heart of everystudent, but she is ao librarian andas that is what we MUST have, thenwe say, displace her.THINGS IN GENERAL.(continued from 1st, page)library that is no library. Booksthat are antiquated, thick withdust, in wild disorder. All these incharge of an old lady who ought tobe at home, instead of in the midstof a crowd of hare brained, chickenlivered kids who think it sport toinsult her. A nice state of affairsthis."Just then good old uncle DaveBarrow came up the stairs and theBumble Bee smiled reminiHcently."Ah ! there's old uncle Dave withthe mild manners and the fieryheart. He's the salt of the earthand a king among men. Wonderhow he gets along with Phil Suelling.I understand that Phil is nolonger the gay Lothario he used tobe, but is a model Baptist. Wellhe's not a bad sort, He has donea great work in organizing Denmark Hall and in running it without remuneration, Even a BUMBLE BEE can be grateful. ButPhil, why dont you stop yourmean suspicious ways? You actas if all your students were scoundrels. We half suspect that youmust have been one yourself, aboutexaminations and the like.""Well I guess I'v^ seen themall," said the BEE "and they allhave their faults." Now haven'tthey gentle reader? A word ofadvice to the faculty as a whole,and then I'm back to the belfry."Wake up gentlemen, rememberthat the students at tho Universityare men as well as pupils. Comeoff your perches, take an interestin things, smoke fawer cigarettes,don't shoot so much pool and you'lldo more for your University thanall the hot air ihat you've beenspouting forth could accomplish iyears."A Man.Uncle Dave Barrow Fills theTerm Exactly.The following article appears inTHE BUMBLE-BEE of 1897 under theabove caption. We of the class of1902 indorse every word of it."A visitor to the University ofGeorgia^would notice last ofajl.Professor David C. Barrrow, Jr, NoD. D's , or L. L. D's., are appendedto his name, yet, quiet, retiring,unassuming as he is, he is the truest, the noblest of them all. Withthe Godly stamp of character uponhis face, he is not only admired,but loved by Freshmen and Senioralike and no man can defame hianame or character in presence ofthese, his friends. Each passingyear sends a company of themaway from his sight, but, thoughthey may never see him more, theywill tell their children, and theirchildren's children of this manaccording to God's heart."Septembers find the hairs ofhis head whiter and whiter; hishead begins to bend from the caresof Jifeand age; he has passed theprime of life; but as now he journeys adown the hillside of the evening of life toward that gloriousHome where he will surely findrest from his manly efforts in life,each step will be cherished by thesustaining love of every man whoever knew him. And whenever it shall be known that Godhas called him to that rest, fromthe heart of hearts of a thousand ofGeorgia's men, scattered on sea andland, will well up one deep, spontaneous tribute: "He lived and died,a man!""

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Ju neTo Walter B. Hill.An Open Letter.Df>ar Chancellor: One about to depart from the University desiresto write an open letter to you concerning a fault of yours that needselimination, or rather, correction.It is that infrenal coldn jss ofyours that freezes the marrow inthe bones of any poor devil that isforced to come in contact with you,officially, or otherwise. Why, honestly, during my three years in college under yc u, I would at anytime have preferred taking a snowbathin January to a five minutesconsultation with you. No, it wasnot a case of conscience with me,I'll leave it to any man in collegethat the frigidity of your mannerwill neutralize the heat of a Julyday in Athens, and as for squelching the enthusiasm in a man, why,gee whiz ! ! words fail me.Of course ws realize fnll wellthat you are a good man, almosta great man. You have undoubted character and ability, and youhave brought the University outwonderfully.Rut, Chancellor, for the sake ofy'oui'ikai-esteem', drop thathtuo offalse ilignity that is so unneccessary.IB other words, come downoff your pedestal, and stand otryour own manhood. You've gotthe character to do it, and you willbe liked a great deal better.Now one more thing; at the beginning of your course in ethicslast fall you asked the class to beprepared it the end of nine monthsto answer you the question as towhether it would be a good thingto import a professor of philosophyand relieve you of the work. Forfor fear you will forget to ask thequestion I will volunteer an answerin the affirmative. Your "longsuit" is unquestionably administration, anu I advise you to stickto it for there's work enough in thatdepartment to "hold you awhile."The course in ethics and philosophy was dangerously near a farcethis year, in fact it was an uttTfarce, but I trust you have alreadyrealized this ana will present tothe trustees the necessity of securing a professor of philosophy atall events, tell them to give you asurcease from attempting the impossible,Yours for life in earnestAL UMNUSP. S. dont forget to chuck thathalo and get off the pedestal.A, I'.THE UNIVERSITY BUflBLE-BEE.J. Lustrat.In the beginning, let me statet!mt my acquaintance with J. Lustrat is limited to the two years ofclassroom work I have had underhim and what I have to say isbased upon and has solely to dowith his relations with the studentsof the University in an official capacity.It is not the purpose of the BUMBLE BEE to extend its field of action to the personal or family affairs of anyone who may perchancebe dealt with herein.lu the sancity of his own home,J. Lustrat may be a clever (in theSouthern sense) sort of fellow; inthe classroom as a teacher, or inany of his activities as a memberof the faculty, J. Lustrat is an unmitigated bigot, an unpleasant, repulsive little petty tyrant.Ho hasn't a single trait of manhood (as a teacher) to commendhim to the merest respect of thosewho are so unfortunately ignorantas to elect French or Spanish,He is a bully; his weapon of intimidation is "more work." Timeafter time has ho threatened hisclass with"mor» wor.t, p»f v«v- $-j.not do better, zhentlemen." Hisslogan is "I weel give you ziro,Meestaire x." His manner, sneering and insinuating as it ip, is offensive to every student of anymanhood who comes under his rule.Lustrat is unreasonable in hisdemands. Mr. Trustee, you forwhose information the BUMBLEBEE buzzes, ask any member ofany class that Lustrat has conducted in the past two years if thework required of him in the department of Romance Languageshas not been far greater than thatdemanded by any other school ofthe University. From all, the answer will bs, "yes." Ask them ifhis requirements have not beenoutragsously absurd. Necessitating hours of work every day thatshould be devoted to other studies.The unanimous answer will againbe, "yes."Now, Mr, Trustee, the membersof the Junior and Senior classes areas a rule, hard-working men whorealize what they are at college for.The majority of these men want asymmetrical, well-rounded education. And they resent the attitude of any professor. who forcesthem to labor on his special subject to the exclusion of all otheri work. This is what Lustrat atjtempts to do. and djjes by meansof the terrible threat, ' Eef you d'o True, ho speaks fairly intelligible|not get up my French, I will throw English. But is this the only reyou."Luptrat means by this, Mr. quirenunit of a university proTrustee, that he will deprive the fessor?unfortunate of his pass, or perhaps It is with reluctance that I make Ihis diploma.i the final charge against Lustrat,Mr. Trustee, the hue and cry j but for the sake of those who folagainstLustrat is not raised be- j low in my footsteps the wholecause we are lazy and want a"snap." John Morris requires atremendous amount of work on hisGerman, but h« is just in his demands, and you hear little complaint. Col. Snelling exacts hardwork on his "math," but he tootampers his reqirement with consideration and justice. Bocockmakes his men labor and so doStrahan and all others, but theyare not unreasonable. So, don'tfor a minute entertain the idea thatI am moved to these words by apuerile protest against work.To give you an idea of his bullheaded,insane bigotry, I will tellyou a remark he made recently tohis Senior French class. It wasjust at the close of a recitation anda member of his class asked himhis opinion on the proposed adoption by the frculty. of the fifteenhour per week classroom requirement for th« Junior and Seniorwere made he would doubln hiswork. Inasmuch as the contemplated action of the faculty wasfor lightening the recitation workand for giving the upper classmentime for reading and research, Lustrat's statement deserves attention.Lustrat is a foreigner. The fact,perse, should not be cherishedagainst him for he is not responsible for his nati"nahty. But Lustrat doeu not understand Americaand Americans. He is not in sympathy with our customs, our ideals*He is out of harmony with theAmerican young man., whom he issupposed to teach. For thisreason, as much as any other, heshould not occupy his presentposition. Lustrat might, perhaps,make an ideal pedagogue in France.In Georgia he is an anomaly.Lustrat's education is not proround,nor is it very broad. Hemay hold a degree from the University of France. If so, that ishis only claim to culture. Hisgeneral information seems to beconfined to the idiosyncrasies ofthe irregular French verb. Hisknowledge of English and American literature is conspicuous by itsnon-existence. To this extent heis incompetent to teach the youngtruth should be told. Lustrat'scharacter is not of the sort to inspire those who come in contactwith nim. I dont mean to insinuate that he is dishonest or immoral. But Lustrat's virtues are allnegative. He is an ethical nonenity.Then he has serious vicesthat impair him every way. Hedrinks like a fish but there is adissimilarity in the beverage,Those who have had afternoonrecitations under him know thathe drinks so much wine or liquorof somescrt at dinner that he is ina half-intoxicated stupor everyday. A nice example for youngmen he is. And he consumes ci?-arett« after cigarette day and rnghtuntil his whole person reeks withnicotine. To he frank with you,I belive his brain has been seriously affected by his terrible internperance.We who are supposed to»rpnt, to be inspired, by thewant MEN in the faculty.want men of force, men of sobriety,men of positive character, menwhom we can trust. Tho editorsof the BUMBLE BEE desire to saythat no particular ill-will towardLustrat prompts this article. Weare about to bid farewell to our Icollege days and leave, forgettingforever our troubles and woes in |the entrance into the hurlyburlyof real life. We have!finished our courses in the Romance languages, and have doneforever with the insults and indignities of "ttie Frenchman." Hehas done us all the harm he can ]do, and personally we are willing |to let the matter drop. But oneconsideration moves us and thatis the good of the institution andthose who follow us.Gentlemen of the Board of Trustrees,request Lustrat's resignationand give us in his place a broadminded,cultured, scholarly American gentleman a man whose influence will be of as mu«h value tojthe college as is the intrinsic worth!of his teaching ability. Such alman can be found aiid he is needj

THE UNIVERSITY BUHBLE-BEE.THE GREAT FACULTY CIRCUS.ATTENDANCE COMPULSORY.Admission, Registration Fee.Show Lasts From September to June.GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH.Bob Park.The Renowned Equilibrist and all-roundathlete in his specialty of Getting on BothSides of the question at the same time.Chancellor Hill,Willis H. Bocock.The Monumental Icebergs. Can make anarctic snow field ashamed of itself.Harry White.The Humorous Greased Pig, Slick fromend to end. Smeared with political oil.$50.00 Reward to the trustee who cancatch him.J. Lustrat.The-Prodigy. Consumes 4 quarts-of wiiie;i quart of booze, and 100 cigarettes perdiem.RETURN ENGAGEMENT——————OF OUR SPECIAL FEATURE,—————After a year's absence, during: which time he has en=deavored to make himself competent to elucidateSOPHOMORE PHYSICS.The management hag secured this phenomenon after much expense and trouble. His reappearance will be hailed with delightby those who don't know him. He will remain with our great show as long as the trustees will permit.The World Famous Clown"Steve."HAVE YOU SEEN HIF1?>re very erratic and never fail to provoke a laugh. He is especially funnyi in his attempts at teaching English.