36We found it fairly easily, on a street with a nave of ancient elms branching over it. Thehouse itself was high, white, and oddly proper to be the home of Phineas. It presented a face ofdefinite elegance to the street, although behind that wings and ells dwindled quickly informality until the house ended in a big plain barn.Nothing surprised Phineas. A cleaning woman answered the door and when I came into theroom where he was sitting, he looked very pleased and not at all surprised."So you are going to show up!" his voice took off in one of its flights, "and you brought mesomething to eat from down South, didn't you? Honeysuckle and molasses or something likethat?" I tried to think of something funny. "Corn bread? You did bring something. You didn't goall the way to Dixie and then come back with nothing but your dismal face to show for it." Histalk rolled on, ignoring and covering my look of shock and clumsiness. I was silenced by thesight of him propped by white hospital-looking pillows in a big armchair. Despite everything atthe Devon Infirmary, he had seemed an athlete there, temporarily injured in a game; as thoughthe trainer would come in any minute and tape him up. Propped now before a great NewEngland fireplace, on this quiet old street, he looked to me like an invalid, house-bound."I brought . . . Well I never remember to bring anyone anything." I struggled to get my voiceabove this self-accusing murmur. "I'll send you something. Flowers or something.""Flowers! What happened to you in Dixie anyway?""Well then," there was no light remark anywhere in my head, "I'll get you some books.""Never mind about books. I'd rather have some talk. What happened down South?""As a matter of fact," I brought out all the cheerfulness I could find for this, "there was afire. It was just a grass fire out behind our house. We . . . took some brooms and beat it. I guesswhat we really did was fan it because it just kept getting bigger until the Fire Departmentfinally came. They could tell where it was because of all the flaming brooms we were wavingaround in the air, trying to put them out."Finny liked that story. But it put us on the familiar friendly level, pals trading stories. Howwas I going to begin talking about it? It would not be just a thunderbolt. It wouldn't even seemreal.Not in this conversation, not in this room. I wished I had met him in a railroad station, or atsome highway intersection. Not here. Here the small window panes shone from much polishingand the walls were hung with miniatures and old portraits. The chairs were either heavilyupholstered and too comfortable to stay awake in or Early American and never used. Therewere several square, solid tables covered with family pictures and random books andmagazines, and also three small, elegant tables not used for anything. It was a compromise of aroom, with a few good "pieces'" for guests to look at, and the rest of it for people to use.But I had known Finny in an impersonal dormitory, a gym, a playing field. In the room weshared at Devon many strangers had lived before us, and many would afterward. It was there
37that I had done it, but it was here that I would have to tell it I felt like a wild man who hadstumbled in from the jungle to tear the place apart.I moved back in the Early American chair. Its rigid back and high armrests immediatelyforced me into a righteous posture. My blood could start to pound if it wanted to; let it. I wasgoing ahead. "I was dunking about you most of the trip up.""Oh yeah?" He glanced briefly into my eyes."I was thinking about you . . . and the accident.""There's loyalty for you. To think about me when you were on a vacation.""I was thinking about it . . . about you because—I was thinking about you and the accidentbecause I caused it."Finny looked steadily at me, his face very handsome and expressionless. "What do youmean, you caused it?" his voice was as steady as his eyes.My own voice sounded quiet and foreign. "I jounced the limb. I caused it." One moresentence. "I deliberately jounced the limb so you would fall off."He looked older than I had ever seen him. "Of course you didn't.""Yes I did. I did!""Of course you didn't do it. You damn fool. Sit down, you damn fool.""Of course I did!"I'm going to hit you if you don't sit down.""Hit me!" I looked at him. "Hit me! You can't even get up! You can't even come near me!""I'll kill you if you don't shut up.""You see! Kill me! Now you know what it is! I did it because I felt like that! Now you knowyourself!""I don't know anything. Go away. I'm tired and you make me sick. Go away." He held hisforehead wearily, an unlikely way.It struck me then that I was injuring him again. It occurred to me that this could be an evendeeper injury than what I had done before. I would have to back out of it, I would have todisown it. Could it be that he might even be right? Had I really and definitely and knowinglydone it to him after all? I couldn't remember, I couldn't think. However it was, it was worse forhim to know it. I had to take it back.But not here. "You'll be back at Devon in a few weeks, won't you?" I muttered after both ofus had sat in silence for a while.
- Page 1 and 2: 1John KnowlesA Separate Peace
- Page 4 and 5: 4Devon was both scholarly and very
- Page 6 and 7: 6sprang out, fell through the tops
- Page 8 and 9: 8a kitchen rattle from the wing of
- Page 10 and 11: 10true and sincere; Finny always sa
- Page 12 and 13: 12Withers, perched nervously behind
- Page 14 and 15: 14of the great northern forests. I
- Page 16 and 17: 163Yes, he had practically saved my
- Page 18 and 19: 18Up the field the others at badmin
- Page 20 and 21: 20that Finny could shine at it. He
- Page 22 and 23: 22"You can try it again and break i
- Page 24 and 25: 24tonks and shooting galleries and
- Page 26 and 27: 26But Finny gave me little time to
- Page 28 and 29: 28was weakened by the very genuinen
- Page 30 and 31: 30"Don't go." He said it very simpl
- Page 32 and 33: 325None of us was allowed near the
- Page 34 and 35: 34The door was slightly ajar, and I
- Page 38 and 39: 38"Sure, I'll be there by Thanksgiv
- Page 40 and 41: 40Still it had come to an end, in t
- Page 42 and 43: 42"How many?""Who knows? Get some.
- Page 44 and 45: 44The houses on either side were in
- Page 46 and 47: 46"No, I wouldn't.""And I spent my
- Page 48 and 49: 48"What?" I pulled quickly around i
- Page 50 and 51: 50They laughed at him a little, and
- Page 52 and 53: 52"I'm not sure, Leper, but I think
- Page 54 and 55: 54After they had gone we laborers l
- Page 56 and 57: 56To enlist. To slam the door impul
- Page 58 and 59: 588"I can see I never should have l
- Page 60 and 61: 60"So," Brinker curled his lip at m
- Page 62 and 63: 62So the war swept over like a wave
- Page 64 and 65: 64We went into the gym, along a mar
- Page 66 and 67: 66you at the Funny Farm.""In a way,
- Page 68 and 69: 68large rambling, doubtfully Coloni
- Page 70 and 71: 709This was my first but not my las
- Page 72 and 73: 72Giraud but Lepellier; we knew, be
- Page 74 and 75: 74"Who wants a Winter Carnival?" he
- Page 76 and 77: 76Still the sleek brown head bent m
- Page 78 and 79: 78ELWIN LEPER LEPELLIER.
- Page 80 and 81: 80escapes from is danger, death, th
- Page 82 and 83: 82"That's what you say. But that's
- Page 84 and 85: 84a good boy underneath," she must
- Page 86 and 87:
86the Mess Hall, I had to eat every
- Page 88 and 89:
88"How's Leper?" he asked in an off
- Page 90 and 91:
90I didn't say anything."He must be
- Page 92 and 93:
92never will.""You're so wrong I ca
- Page 94 and 95:
94I believed you," he added hurried
- Page 96 and 97:
96acoustics in the school. I couldn
- Page 98 and 99:
98the tree did it by itself. It's a
- Page 100 and 101:
100"Here! Go get him," said Brinker
- Page 102 and 103:
102"I can't think of the name of th
- Page 104 and 105:
104Dr. Stanpole stopped near the do
- Page 106 and 107:
106hurt my stomach and I could feel
- Page 108 and 109:
108and "psycho" and "sulfa," strang
- Page 110 and 111:
110His face had been struggling to
- Page 112 and 113:
11213The quadrangle surrounding the
- Page 114 and 115:
114Brinker slid his fingers into th
- Page 116 and 117:
116At the gym a platoon was undress
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