Diary 1963 - Murshid Sam's Living Stream

Diaries 1963June 25Beloved one of Allah:It is not a very easy task to embody the whole of “The Unity of Religious Ideals” and it is halfironical,half-droll what is happening—rejection by those under European influences, acceptance byAsians and mixed receptions by plain Americana, The visit to Indio proves that when one listens tothe inner voice there can be only success. Dr. Howard Benninghoff my instructor in Soil Chemistry(indirectly in other subjects), is an important man in that district. Through him I had most pleasantinterviews with growers, packers, research-scientists. But before leaving I opened my ego up to oneman and this was followed by spontaneous introductions and I left there on excellent term with thebanks, Chamber of Commerce and newspaper—a rarity, especially the last.I then stopped off just for laundry and went to Mendocino. Although in one sense there mightnot be another “Shireen,” there are now two such women in my life, one in Mendocino and theother, my Goddaughter, Khalifa in Pakistan. As D. does not answer letters, she has not made properarrangements for me but this did not matter as I learned later my paid up contribution for the FolkDance Camp also covered all my meals, so the total expenses were down, not up.D. had been in the Watts and Subud camps and seems to have gotten out of them: 2 bad marriages,two attempts at being bilked, and the stymieing of her own intuitive faculties so that therewere boobers rather than just mistakes. The only time I really expressed my feelings were to cooka dinner for 30 people at her home in Mill Valley when one Ragavan Pillai was returning to India.Even than it was an unconscious or at most intuitive, not external or ego attraction.You may imagine my surprise to find all the Buddhist books gone from her library, very fewthings remaining and these dominated by the writing of Hazrat Inayat Khan! Sometimes one has towait for years and I did not press the point then, only indicate. Besides there are communicationsoutside of words. D. is too busy now with her own always complicate affairs.I could not prevent her second and unfortunate marriage because the young man in questionhad too many of the same characteristics as yours truly. He is an adventurer, not home type. Even atthe Folk Dance Camp when I picket out an elderly lady for partner I think we got along because weare both adventure types.D. has also fallen under the influence of Grace West and if nothing else happened, Grace hasuncovered my spirit. This is wonderful and while I did not always get along with all the dancers, a“beach head” was certainly established in Mendocino. How often I get henceforth may depend on D.but besides other things I have plans with and for her 10-year-old boy and between us there is plentyof understanding and harmony.There were lessons in basic steps, Portuguese, Russian, Irish, Scottish and Japanese dancing.The last I found difficult in spirit because of an intense love for these people—no doubt a heritagefrom another period.Mendocino is off the beaten track, full of artists. Called on Hal Reeger, the ceramicists andseemed to have gotten fine with the “far out” people, but even the dancers are a little “out.”There was not much mail when I returned from Indio but new my desk is over-cluttered,