Diary 1963 - Murshid Sam's Living Stream

Diaries 1963-3To make this point more secure Jack criticized Sensei’s sending people to Japan for furthertraining and said he had not seen the results. Now sitting next to me was Jean who left San Franciscoa most ordinary women and who not only experienced satori and whose whole body and especiallywhose eyes radiate. Today to me she is the most marvelous of people and was called a Kwannon inJapan to which I heartily agree. This set Fudo into action. I challenged the Reverend. I learned yearago from Sokei-an how to tell the spiritual status of anybody not more advanced and poor Jack hadno radiance in his eyes. Never mind humility. By that time I had most of the audience with me—only one or two who look askance at my Fudo-ings, but his Fudo-ing was discipline and instructionin Japan, quite different from egocentric criticisms.All this time I had in mind the need to have a real Sangha—construction of the Zen retreat atMiddlebar. If everybody was so limited, what need for any undertaking and if everybody was a goatand not a sheep, where the money? Where the labor? Where the devotees?This is not to be little Jack for the project starts off much better than the Buddha temple. Butyou are not going to get 30 volunteers by criticisms.Next out of the blue be jumped on Rev. J.E. Wagner. Now early in the evening we met my oldfriend Shibata-san and I explained the identity of personality in true friendship. (I hope to convert afew Buddhists to anatta.) Now I was hot. He said that Wagner had not been long with Sumangalo.Somewhere along the line maybe, yes, no, I have heard about the Sudden School, which is independentof time, space, and conditioned existence. Well if (I think I’ll pun, the opportunity is too nice)JEW was only a short time with Phra Sumangalo and that delimited him, I have been ever fortyyears under Zen disciplines, and what does that mean?The whole criticism of JEW was so uncalled for, so anti-social, so anti-moral, so anti- the wholeteaching of Buddhism that when Iru Price was also called into account, there was nothing much tosay. I had to agree which meant hypocrisy but I had already told people I was a great hypocrite. Thisagreement with JM over Iru Price had the saddening result that he suddenly sat up, and from thatpoint on agreed with me on everything I said. It looked as if Iru was a sacrificial lamb whose boneswe were enjoying in a communion feast.This whole thing is awful, but I think it is better for you to read even though you throw theletter down the drain. I am opposed at the present time to any Middlebar undertaking which doesnot take your person into account both officially and unofficially. I am hoping that Rev. Yamadaand his associates realize that Buddhism is not only Buddha and Dharma but Sangha and you, tome, represent Sangha at the moment. There is a certain identity of spirit and personality with Revs.Price, Wagner and Goode because of our common communion with the late Phra Sumangalo. That isenough.I am still wondering when American Buddhist leaders (?) are going to study Buddhism whetherthey teach it or not. I carry credentials from Japan which are to be rejected by non-Japanese. Whatis anatta?There is one personal note—I have been invited to join in with a Yoga retreat and if Rev. Jackcarries the Middlebar project on the basis outlined, I shall not join. I worked with the Sangha spiritwith the Chinese and there was not a harsh moment in dozen years.