Letters of Anton Chekhov (Tchekhov) - Penn State University

Letters of Anton Chekhov to His Family and Friends with biographical sketchMOSCOW, November 18, 1891.… I have read your letter about the influenza and Solovyov. I wasunexpectedly aware of a dash of cruelty in it. The phrase “I hate”does not suit you at all; and a public confession “I am a sinner, asinner, a sinner,” is such pride that it made me feel uncomfortable.When the pope took the title “holiness,” the head of the Easternchurch, in pique, called himself “The servant of God’s servants.” Soyou publicly expatiate on your sinfulness from pique of Solovyov,who has the impudence to call himself orthodox. But does a wordlike orthodoxy, Judaism, or Catholicism contain any implication ofexceptional personal merit or virtue? To my thinking everybody isbound to call himself orthodox if he has that word inscribed on hispassport. Whether you believe or not, whether you are a prince ofthis world or an exile in penal servitude, you are, for practical purposes,orthodox. And Solovyov made no sort of pretension when hesaid he was no Jew or Chaldean but orthodox ….I still feel dull, blighted, foolish, and indifferent, and I am still sneezingand coughing, and I am beginning to think I shall not get back tomy former health. But that’s all in God’s hands. Medical treatmentand anxiety about one’s physical existence arouse in me a feeling notfar from loathing. I am not going to be doctored. I will take water andquinine, but I am not going to let myself be sounded ….I had only just finished this letter when I received yours. You saythat if I go into the wilds I shall be quite cut off from you. But I amgoing to live in the country in order to be nearer Petersburg. If Ihave no flat in Moscow you must understand, my dear sir, I shallspend November, December, and January in Petersburg: that willbe possible then. I shall be able to be idle all the summer too; I shalllook out for a house in the country for you, but you are wrong indisliking Little Russians, they are not children or actors in the provinceof Poltava, but genuine people, and cheerful and well-fed intothe bargain.Do you know what relieves my cough? When I am working Isprinkle the edge of the table with turpentine with a sprayer andinhale its vapour. When I go to bed I spray my little table and otherobjects near me. The fine drops evaporate sooner than the liquid274