Letters of Anton Chekhov (Tchekhov) - Penn State University

Anton ChekhovAugust 28.So you like my story?* Well, thank God! Of late I have become devilishlysuspicious and uneasy. I am constantly fancying that my trousersare horrid, and that I am writing not as I want to, and that I am givingmy patients the wrong powders. It must be a special neurosis.If Ladzievsky’s surname is really horrible, you can call him somethingelse. Let him be Lagievsky, let von Koren remain von Koren.The multitude of Wagners, Brandts, and so on, in all the scientificworld, make a Russian name out of the question for a zoologist—though there is Kovalevsky. And by the way, Russian life is so mixedup nowadays that any surnames will do.Sahalin is progressing. There are times when I long to sit over itfrom three to five years, and work at it furiously; but at times, inmoments of doubt, I could spit on it. It would be a good thing, byGod! to devote three years to it. I shall write a great deal of rubbish,because I am not a specialist, but really I shall write something sensibletoo. It is such a good subject, because it would live for a hundredyears after me, as it would be the literary source and aid for allwho are studying prison organization, or are interested in it.You are right, your Excellency, I have done a great deal this summer.Another such summer and I may perhaps have written a noveland bought an estate. I have not only paid my way, but even paidoff a thousand roubles of debt.… Tell your son that I envy him. And I envy you too, and notbecause your wives have gone away, but because you are bathing inthe sea and living in a warm house. I am cold in my barn. I shouldlike new carpets, an open fireplace, bronzes, and learned conversations.Alas! I shall never be a Tolstoyan. In women I love beautyabove all things; and in the history of mankind, culture, expressedin carpets, carriages with springs, and keenness of wit. Ach! To makehaste and become an old man and sit at a big table! …P.S.—If we were to cut the zoological conversations out of “TheDuel” wouldn’t it make it more living? …*“The Duel.”265