Letters of Anton Chekhov (Tchekhov) - Penn State University

Anton ChekhovMay 4, 1889.… Nature is an excellent sedative. It pacifies—that is, it makesone indifferent. And it is essential in this world to be indifferent.Only those who are indifferent are able to see things clearly, to bejust and to work. Of course, I am only speaking of intelligent peopleof fine natures; the empty and selfish are indifferent enough anyway.You say that I have grown lazy. That does not mean that I am nowlazier than I used to be. I work now as much as I did three or fiveyears ago. To work and to look as though I were working from ninein the morning till dinner, and from evening tea till bedtime hasbecome a habit with me, and in that respect I am just like a governmentclerk. And if my work does not produce two novels a monthor an income of ten thousand, it is not my laziness that is at fault,but my fundamental, psychological peculiarities. I do not careenough for money to succeed in medicine, and for literature I havenot enough passion and therefore not enough talent. The fire burnsin me slowly and evenly, without suddenly spluttering and flaringup, and this is why it does not happen to me to write three or foursignatures a night, or to be so carried away by work as to preventmyself from going to bed if I am sleepy; this is why I commit noparticular follies nor do anything particularly wise.I am afraid that in this respect I resemble Gontcharov, whom Idon’t like, who is ten heads taller than I am in talent. I have notenough passion; add to that this sort of lunacy: for the last two yearsI have for no reason at all ceased to care about seeing my work inprint, have become indifferent to reviews, to literary conversations,to gossip, to success and failure, to good pay—in short, I have gonedownright silly. There is a sort of stagnation in my soul. I explain itby the stagnation in my personal life. I am not disappointed, I amnot tired, I am not depressed, but simply everything has suddenlybecome less interesting. I must do something to rouse myself.113