the essential guide - Texas Council on Family Violence

Focus on SafetySurvivors of family violence experience extensive trauma at <strong>the</strong> hands of someone who was supposed tolove and protect <strong>the</strong>m. That betrayal often shakes <strong>the</strong> foundations of trust and undermines any sense ofemotional safety. Often, survivors will struggle with feeling unsafe even after <strong>the</strong>ir physical safety needsare met. They may be reluctant to trust anyone and might be waiting for any sign that you will hurt <strong>the</strong>mtoo.You can help survivors slowly build trust and feel safe by being consistent: Be respectful. Be on time. Follow through on work concerning your clients.Model Healthy RelationshipsSome survivors may have had many healthy and supportive relationships in <strong>the</strong>ir lives; o<strong>the</strong>rs may haveexperienced nothing but abuse at <strong>the</strong> hands of friends and family. Each survivor will be different. Treateveryone you meet with healthy communication, good boundaries and respectful conflict resolution.Help Turn Goals into SuccessesFind out what motivates <strong>the</strong> survivors you work with and help <strong>the</strong>m visualize <strong>the</strong>ir hopes and dreams.Help clarify goals and break <strong>the</strong>m down in smaller action steps. Provide positive feedback at everyopportunity. Survivors tell advocates that bruises heal quickly but <strong>the</strong> effects of verbal and emotionalabuse linger for years. They have endured years of being told that <strong>the</strong>y are worthless, incapable, andworse. Providing consistent positive feedback is a way to counteract that abuse. Recognize and praisesurvivors for each positive step <strong>the</strong>y make, taking into consideration that for some small successes aregrand successes and work with <strong>the</strong>m toward achieving <strong>the</strong>ir goals by encouraging <strong>the</strong>m to be proud of<strong>the</strong>ir own successes.Empower O<strong>the</strong>rs to be Their BestBefore you can empower o<strong>the</strong>rs you must firsthave an understanding and acceptance of who youare. You must go through <strong>the</strong> process of selfactualization.Self-actualization is about knowingand accepting who you are so that you can becomeyour very best self. Knowing and acceptingyourself, helps you support survivors on <strong>the</strong>ir pathto self-actualization. When you work to empower“Be <strong>the</strong> change that you wish to seein <strong>the</strong> world.” – Mahatma Gandhio<strong>the</strong>rs to identify and meet <strong>the</strong>ir needs, engage in healthy relationships and support and recognizeo<strong>the</strong>rs’ achievements, you support <strong>the</strong>m on <strong>the</strong>ir path to self-actualization.Coalition Building and <strong>the</strong> Bigger PicturePart of working as an advocate means understanding some complex and intricate systems that are keysto housing, public assistance and o<strong>the</strong>r vital resources that will only improve <strong>the</strong> options you have toempower survivors. You should commit yourself to developing relationships and build alliances withcommunity partners.THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE: AN INTRODUCTION TO ADVOCATING FOR SURVIVORS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE19 | P a g e