GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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Other Viola Players (not necessarily famous)Someone who thinks there’re a good violist … Jo Kingthe bodyguard (post-concert) of a famous violist … Barry CadeTwo violists called Robert Mee and Susan Frame collected up a notablecollection of viola instruments from dubious sources – they then married.They are now … Rob Mee and Sue MeeAnd - who finally got Robert’s violas then?Simon SwindellsSomeone hired to kill violists … Anna SasinAn ex-virtuoso who went hysteric? … Priti ManekAnd a violist who is just a little stupid? Andrew Burke (generally knownas A. Burke).A viola instrument maker … Tim BurrHe who also carries 2 violas to the rehearsal? … Justin CaseA viola student who doesn’t seem to progress … Stan StillThe British 3 rd -Prizewinner in the recent Milan International Violacompetition … Terry BullSomeone of vital importance to violists (since hardly any of themmemorize the music) … Paige TurnerSeasonal work:Only plays in December … Mary ChristmasOnly plays March-April time … Esther MundayThe violist with 30 years practise behind him? Anna PrenticeAn athletic violist: Jim HallA violist about to end his life by jumping …Sidney Harbour-BridgeA happy violist who invites people to start up a chant:Mary Lee (mari-lee, mari-ly, merrily, merrily, merrily … )
MYSTERIOUS ANAGRAMS HIDDEN IN THE NAMES OFFAMOUS COMPOSERSHeitor Villa- Loboscontains the hidden messageViola thrills oboeand alsoHe boos viola trill~~~Claudio Monteverdicontains the hidden messageViola introduced me.~~~Nicolai Rimsky- Korsakovcontains the hidden messageOK man, rock viola is risky!~~~Peter Illyich Tchaikovskycontains the hidden messageCheck viola key: triply shit!~~~Ludwig Van Beethovencontains the hidden messageViola? Venn wet bed ... Ugh!~~~Giovanni Gabrielicontains the hidden messageBeing a Viola, I grin!
Page 4: If you're lost in the desert, what
Page 9 and 10: ‘NATURAL COMPETITION’ - COMPARI
Page 12 and 13: * Students (Teachers)The beginners
Page 14 and 15: DISHING OUT THE PUNISHMENT"Haven't
Page 16 and 17: *Going to WorkTwo viola players wer
Page 18 and 19: MORE AIR STORIES:Viola ‘Con’And
Page 20 and 21: Examination to become a professorat
Page 22 and 23: 11. Which of the following is the o
Page 24 and 25: What's the least-used sentence in t
Page 26 and 27: *SoloistsTHE AUTOGRAPH BOOKA world-
Page 28 and 29: REAL-LIFE REHEARSALS AS SOLOIST WIT
Page 30 and 31: Comments to the public (by Violist)
Page 32 and 33: PROFESSIONAL COMPOSERS/ORCHESTRATOR
Page 34 and 35: What’s the difference between a p
Page 36 and 37: (Here is David Johnstone’s favour
Page 38 and 39: What instrument do violists envy mo
Page 40 and 41: *Advertisements / Announcements etc
Page 42 and 43: B) Stories - TalesThe BookshopA vio
Page 44 and 45: The Pianist TrillA viola player wen
Page 46 and 47: The Genie - Part IOnce there was a
Page 48 and 49: C) Viola - MiscellaneousViola Perfo
Page 50 and 51: Strong adherence to principles: Stu
Page 52 and 53: Actual Answers From Viola Studentsi
Page 56 and 57: THE COMPLETE ENGLISH MUSICALDICTION
Page 58 and 59: • repeat: what a violist does unt

GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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