GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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Actual Answers From Viola Studentsin Music Theory ExamsThe principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what theysounded like because there are no known descendants.Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, theTaco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite,and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they singwithout music it is called Acapulco.A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields andthe McCoys.A harp is a nude piano.Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd better not tryto sing.I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say.My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composerfamous for her church music.Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and hada large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinsterwhich he kept up in his attic.Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.
Famous Viola players !Kenny KuddittWillie ShowupIma DuddHoward InoManny MustakesSkip DeRunzChaim LostalottSinbad TaystePeg StuckHyman TrubbleBuster BridgeLes SaithnotzMoe Clinkers
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Page 12 and 13: * Students (Teachers)The beginners
Page 14 and 15: DISHING OUT THE PUNISHMENT"Haven't
Page 16 and 17: *Going to WorkTwo viola players wer
Page 18 and 19: MORE AIR STORIES:Viola ‘Con’And
Page 20 and 21: Examination to become a professorat
Page 22 and 23: 11. Which of the following is the o
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Page 26 and 27: *SoloistsTHE AUTOGRAPH BOOKA world-
Page 28 and 29: REAL-LIFE REHEARSALS AS SOLOIST WIT
Page 30 and 31: Comments to the public (by Violist)
Page 32 and 33: PROFESSIONAL COMPOSERS/ORCHESTRATOR
Page 34 and 35: What’s the difference between a p
Page 36 and 37: (Here is David Johnstone’s favour
Page 38 and 39: What instrument do violists envy mo
Page 40 and 41: *Advertisements / Announcements etc
Page 42 and 43: B) Stories - TalesThe BookshopA vio
Page 44 and 45: The Pianist TrillA viola player wen
Page 46 and 47: The Genie - Part IOnce there was a
Page 48 and 49: C) Viola - MiscellaneousViola Perfo
Page 50 and 51: Strong adherence to principles: Stu
Page 54 and 55: Other Viola Players (not necessaril
Page 56 and 57: THE COMPLETE ENGLISH MUSICALDICTION
Page 58 and 59: • repeat: what a violist does unt

GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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