GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

B) Stories - TalesThe BookshopA violist walked into the main bookshop of his town, and asked the girl at thecash-desk:“I’m looking for a book called ‘The Virtuoso Viola’ ”.“Oh, I don’t think we have that” she replied.“Please, this book is very important to me – I’m a viola player”.“Oh very well then – try walking down this corridor, turn left at the corner, thenhalf-way along you have to go down some stairs. It might just be there – in the‘Science Fiction section’ ” … !The Jacket flapA violinist noticed at the beginning of each rehearsal, the oldest violist of thesection (poor chap) would look at the inside flap of his jacket before starting, andalso as he sat down to resume the rehearsal after the break. This continued forseveral months, and the violinist became quite curious about it. One day, duringhot weather, the violist took off his jacket and went outside during the break.The violinist waited until almost everyone was off the platform, looked around,and sneaked over to the jacket. He pulled back the flap and saw a little notepinned on the inside. It read: "viola left hand, bow right."Shop visitA viola player decides that he's had enough of being a viola player--unappreciated, all those silly jokes. So he decides to change instruments.He goes into a shop, and says, "I want to buy a violin."The man behind the counter looks at him for a moment, and then says, "Youmust be a viola player, aren’t you?"The viola player is astonished, and says, "Well, yes, I am actually. But how onearth did you know?""Well, sir, this is a shoe shop."I'm the BossThe principal violist was complaining in the artistic committee meeting the otherday that he wasn't getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign thatread:"I'm the Boss!"He then taped it to his viola case.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped anote to the sign that said:"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"