GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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*Advertisements / Announcements etc.CLASSIFIED ADS in themagazine “The violist”FOR SALE: Viola, German, 19th century,405mm. Excellent condition, lovely varnish.Recently tuned. pegsahrstuck@bogus.comESTABLISHED STRING QUARTET lookingfor two Violinists and a 'Cellist.kentReedwell@bogus.comVIOLIST AVAILABLE to sub in symphonyor small ensemble. Please give me full 2 dayswarning before date so I can rent aninstrument. AnitaLessin@bogus.comTHEY LAUGHED when I said anyone canhave perfect pitch. I can teach you in just 3weeks. My home study course includes CD,manual and even DVD if you order promptly.€49.95 + p/p. Results guaranteed. (ExceptViola players) SkipTowne@bogus.comFOR SALE: Viola, Excellent condition.Semi-new; not used beyond the third position.virtuosoviola@bogus.comCLAMSBURGH SYMPHONY announces asection Viola vacancy. 8 week season. Offseasonemployment placement arrangementwith MacDonalds. Auditions by appointmentonly. Candidates will be expected to hold theViola from memory. Contact personnel mgr.at HymanCharge@bogus.com
YOU'VE HEARD of Tai Bo ... now try,VIOLA BOW. America's latest fitness craze.For information,http://www.lakofsky.com/violabowFOR SALE – A nice shapely woodencase (and as a free gift, a Viola thrown in too.For more information,http://www.ripov.com
Page 4: If you're lost in the desert, what
Page 9 and 10: ‘NATURAL COMPETITION’ - COMPARI
Page 12 and 13: * Students (Teachers)The beginners
Page 14 and 15: DISHING OUT THE PUNISHMENT"Haven't
Page 16 and 17: *Going to WorkTwo viola players wer
Page 18 and 19: MORE AIR STORIES:Viola ‘Con’And
Page 20 and 21: Examination to become a professorat
Page 22 and 23: 11. Which of the following is the o
Page 24 and 25: What's the least-used sentence in t
Page 26 and 27: *SoloistsTHE AUTOGRAPH BOOKA world-
Page 28 and 29: REAL-LIFE REHEARSALS AS SOLOIST WIT
Page 30 and 31: Comments to the public (by Violist)
Page 32 and 33: PROFESSIONAL COMPOSERS/ORCHESTRATOR
Page 34 and 35: What’s the difference between a p
Page 36 and 37: (Here is David Johnstone’s favour
Page 38 and 39: What instrument do violists envy mo
Page 42 and 43: B) Stories - TalesThe BookshopA vio
Page 44 and 45: The Pianist TrillA viola player wen
Page 46 and 47: The Genie - Part IOnce there was a
Page 48 and 49: C) Viola - MiscellaneousViola Perfo
Page 50 and 51: Strong adherence to principles: Stu
Page 52 and 53: Actual Answers From Viola Studentsi
Page 54 and 55: Other Viola Players (not necessaril
Page 56 and 57: THE COMPLETE ENGLISH MUSICALDICTION
Page 58 and 59: • repeat: what a violist does unt

GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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