GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad violaplayer, an oasis, or a pink elephant?The bad viola player. The other three are only figments of yourimagination …How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb? (three answers)1. Only one, but it will take some two hours to find the right position …2. None. They're not small enough to fit …3. No-one; nobody on the viola can get up that high …What's the definition of a viola de gamba player?A violist who’s moved up in the world, and who can now sight-read simpleparts …
Page 8 and 9: * What’s the difference between?
Page 10: What's the difference between viola
Page 13 and 14: MELODIC INTERVALS AND TUNINGWhat's
Page 15 and 16: At the end of the academic year two
Page 17 and 18: AIR STORIES:Faulty PlaneA plane - a
Page 19 and 20: *New Jobs SectionReading between th
Page 21 and 22: Entry Exam For The BBC Symphony Orc
Page 23 and 24: *ProfessionalsWhat's the usual line
Page 25 and 26: A guy walks into the doctor's offic
Page 27 and 28: A man rang up the wife of his frien
Page 29 and 30: * Comments by the Public / for the
Page 31 and 32: *The Orchestral WorldNote: Due to t
Page 33 and 34: REAL COMPOSERSWhy didn’t Mozart w
Page 35 and 36: In a symphony orchestra rehearsal t
Page 37 and 38: * The viola, and other instrumentsH
Page 39 and 40: VIOLA PLAYERS AND CONDUCTORSA condu
Page 41 and 42: YOU'VE HEARD of Tai Bo ... now try,
Page 43 and 44: The stuffed ratA conductor went int
Page 45 and 46: A Perfect Student ?A guy in his lat
Page 47 and 48: Brain TransplantsOnce upon a time t
Page 49 and 50: Gets along extremely well with supe
Page 51 and 52: Viola Job forms - real ghastly erro
Page 53 and 54:
Famous Viola players !Kenny Kudditt
Page 55 and 56:
MYSTERIOUS ANAGRAMS HIDDEN IN THE N
Page 57 and 58:
• diminished fifth: an empty bott
Page 59:
The First Viola Joke Ever?Full Cred
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GRAND ENCYCLOPEDIA OF VIOLA JOKES - Johnstone-music.com

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