Operation Scorched Arse - The Woody Back to School Unit

Volume 2Operation ScorchedArseR HumphriesWoodettes Publications

Published 2009byWoodettes PublicationsHouston, Texas, USA© Woodettes Publications 2009R Humphries has asserted his right to be identified asthe author of this work with all rights reservedincluding the right of reproduction in whole or in partin any form.The Library of Congress has catalogued this edition asfollows Humphries, R [date]Operation Scorched Arse : a novel by R Humphries1st Ed.ISBN 978-0-578-02671-8www.woodettes.wordpress.com

Author’s NoteThis is a work of fiction. Names, characters,places and incidents are either the product of theauthor's imagination or are used fictitiously. Anyresemblance to actual events or locales or persons,living or dead, is entirely coincidental.The stories based at the Woody Back to SchoolUnit are works of adult fiction based upon the real-lifefantasy games played by the author, R. Humphriesand his wife, the inimitable Jojo.It is the author’s intent to create the WoodyBack to School Unit as an imaginative world peopledwith a believable cast and set in familiar surroundingswithin which the readers will become comfortable.The vernacular used in the stories is acombination of the phraseology derived from writingsuch as the British penny comics from the nineteenthirties, current language, slang and idioms, and theinvented parlance known as Woody Jargon.As such references to ‘beating’, ‘thrashing’, and‘flogging’ have no context to the use or avocation ofphysical violence, with the exception of controlledcorporal punishment, against the characters of thestories.

DedicatedtoMy Beloved Jojo

ContentsPublic Enemy Number One ............................... 1Guidelines for Extreme Scolding .................... 5Running Benders ................................................. 9A Sound Beating ................................................ 13Anatomy of a Running Bender ...................... 17A Lunchtime Licking ......................................... 21A Low-Rider ........................................................ 25Surprise, Surprise! ........................................... 29Nailing the Big BUTT ........................................ 33The Fabulous Fart ............................................. 37A Bare Bum Spanking ...................................... 41Bacon Slicers ..................................................... 45The New SS ......................................................... 49Caning Prefects ................................................. 53Scorched Arses .................................................. 57Anarchy and Chaos ........................................... 61A Disagreeable Start to the Day ................... 65A Ration of Tongue Pie ................................... 69Extreme Prejudice ............................................ 73Extreme Malice .................................................. 77Miss Cathryn Cassidy ....................................... 81An Epic Scolding ............................................... 85A Poor Beleaguered Bum ................................ 89The Woody Mantra ........................................... 93Jojo ....................................................................... 97The Fine Art of Dangling............................... 101Ivan Takes a Tumble ...................................... 105I’ll Be Watching You ...................................... 109Sacrificial Bumbags ....................................... 113Cool Arse Christmas ....................................... 117Hot Arse Christmas ........................................ 121The Spice of Spanking ................................... 125

1Public Enemy Number OneJojo Heyworth’s prediction that the inmates ofthe Woody Back to School unit were going to suffer along, hot winter was proving unerringly accurate.Just thirty-six hours after being publiclyflogged for causing considerable damage by sneakinga horse into the chemistry laboratory Deborah Mortonfound herself up to her bumbags in anotherdisagreeable situation.The inmates were collecting their books readyfor the start of the day’s educational curriculum whenthe intercom crackled.“Morton, Phase 5, repair immediately to thelibrary to respond to charges of bringing the RedHouse into disrepute,” barked the unmistakable voiceof Katie Beck, the unit’s Matron.The inmates exchanged curious glances.“What the dickens?” gasped Deborah.“This does not sound good,” was Jojo’s learnedopinion.

Operation Scorched ArseDeborah gaped at the six prefectsincredulously. “You have to be kidding me,” shespluttered.Patsy Butcher looked uncomfortable. “I’msorry, Morton,” she said. “The application has beenfiled under new protocols. The council has to considerit.”Patty Hodge, Katie Beck and the Wart were intheir usual position propping up the bar in the Bunchof Grapes.Patty Hodge and her cronies were discussingthe ‘Eyes Only’ memorandum that Ms Lawton, theunits Principal, had issued to the Brass and the Eliteat the emergency summit to announce the new zerotolerancecampaign, code-named Operation ScorchedArse.The content of the memorandum had assignedDeborah Morton the rank of the facility’s new PublicEnemy Number One and instructed the recipients totarget her with ‘Extreme Prejudice and the UtmostHostility’.“Oh man, we can sure have fun with this,”cackled the Wart.Katie grinned. “I’ve had this idea floatingaround for a while,” she said conspiratorially. “Thismay be the perfect time to put it into action.”“Come on, Katie; spill the beans,” grinnedPatty, “what has that evil, bitchy mind of yours comeup with this time?”Patsy continued to look uncomfortable. “We’vereceived official notification that you have beendeclared Public Enemy Number One,” she told Debs.

3“Some members of the House Council believe thatunder the new provisions of the House Charter thatmakes you guilty of bringing the Red House intodisrepute.”Debs glared at the prefects. “What provisions?”she demanded.“They are being ratified by the Mistress of theHouse as we speak,” said Janet Mitchell smugly.Cathryn Cassidy looked daggers at Mitch theBitch. “They are not ratified yet you stupid bitch,” shesnarled.“Oh but they will be,” interjected YvonneGodfrey, “you mark my words.”Deborah knew when she was being stitched uplike a kipper. The prefectorial council presiding overthe Red House was comprised of two of her chums,Patsy and Cat, and her four sworn enemies, Yvonne,Bitchypoo, Spanker Spage and Ivan the Terrible. MsWharton, the most despised member of the unit’sBrass served as Mistress of the Red House and wouldratify anything that could make life disagreeable forthe inmates.At first Patsy and Cathryn refused to hear theapplication and argued furiously with Yvonne and hercronies. At one point Patsy had to restrain Cat wholooked ready to scratch Janet’s eyes out. Finally agrubby arrived in the library and handed Patsy adocument. Patsy read it quickly and then handed it toCathryn.“This is so bogus,” Cat growled.“I’m sorry Debs,” groaned Patsy, “but we’regoing to have to take a vote.”

Operation Scorched ArseDeborah’s arms and neck ached from facingthe wall with her hands on her head and her nosepressed forward against the wood-paneling.The council had voted and predictably she wasfound guilty by four votes to two.“Ms Wharton is currently indisposed andcannot be disturbed,” cackled Janet Mitchell, “we’llplace you in House Custody until she is available.”“You cannot be serious,” spluttered Debs.“I am absolutely serious,” the Wart assuredher. “The protocols now require that you aresubjected to a Full Collar Walkthrough and a FormalHouse Beating.”Deborah gaped at the Wart.

2Guidelines for Extreme Scolding“I’ll try to make this as easy as possible,”whispered Cat. “Try not to struggle and keep in step.”Deborah nodded miserably.“Button down the landings,” barked Katie Beck.“Mandatory six of the best for anybody caught goofing,gabbing, larking or pranking. Commence the escort.”Deborah Morton’s cheeks turned a deep crimsonas she entered the Elite landing. The six members ofthe Blue House were positioned outside the doors totheir studies. The six members of the Red House werealready congregated in the gymnasium ready towitness Deborah receiving the first ever Formal HouseBeating.Cathryn had Deborah’s right arm pulled upbehind her back. The fingers of her left hand wereinserted inside the collar of Deb’s blouse. As gently aspossible, Cat propelled Deborah along each of theseven landings. It was a laborious expedition.

Operation Scorched ArseThe landings were housed on four floors of themain building, the Elite had the whole top storey andthe studies and dormitories of the lower phase inmateswere spread out over the floors below.Cat and Debs walked slowly so that Debs couldkeep pace. When they reached the stairwells betweenfloors Cat released her grip on Debs so that she wouldbe less likely to trip on the stairs.Deborah’s cheeks burned with humiliation. Shecouldn’t recall feeling so mortified since she waspublicly hand-cuffed on the center court of Wimbledonand carted off by the Dark Agents of the System.The members of the Red House had formed acircle of bodies in the gymnasium. Deborah Morton andPatsy Butcher stood in the center. Debs was required tostand with her hands on her head while Patsy deliveredthe Official House Scolding.It had been a tiresome and frustrating morningfor Deborah. After learning of her fate she had beenreturned to the library and forced to resume her poseof nose and toes while the scolding was drafted.Patsy had tried valiantly to make the scolding asbrief and innocuous as possible. However, herpreliminary drafts were rejected by the Wart whoinsisted that she beef the wording up in keeping withMs Lawton’s ‘Guidelines for Extreme Scolding’. For theduration Debs was forced to remain facing the wall withYvonne Godfrey monitoring her intensely to ensure thather nose was permanently touching the panels and thatat no time did her elbows inadvertently make contactwith the wall.

7The Official Public Scolding ran for almost fivelong minutes. All the while Debs was required to remainhands on head, eyes front and not move a muscle.Artfully Yvonne and Janet had positioned themselvesdirectly in her line of vision and throughout theignominious reprimand Deborah was constantlyconfronted by the prefects’ coprophagic smirks.Finally Deborah was allowed to lower her arms.Even though she had tried to block out much of thescripted scolding her face was still flushed withrighteous indignation. The text that the Wart and MsLawton had finally approved had painted an appallingpicture of degeneracy and depravity and completelyignored the significant contributions she had made tothe Red House in terms of her scholastic, sporting andmusical achievements. During her sentence at the unitDeborah had earned more merit marks for her Housethan any inmate in history. Nonetheless she knew thatany attempt to defend her self would be pointless andbesides she had rather more pressing matters on hermind.Patsy Butcher took a deep breath. She wasflexing the ceremonial house cane between her hands.Momentarily she handed the cane to Cathryn while sheshrugged off her blazer. In blouse and skirt her superbathletic physique was even more apparent. The HouseCaptain reached up and unfastened the collar of herblouse and then rolled up her sleeves before retrievingthe cane. For an instant she caught Deborah’s eye andthey exchanged a glance of mutual resignation.“Morton, you have been found guilty of bringingthe Red House into disrepute and will receive a twelve-

Operation Scorched Arsestroke running bender as punishment,” Patsy said softly“Now please repair to the beam and prepare yourself tobe beaten.”There was a hush in the gymnasium as theinmates separated to make way for Debs as she turnedto walk towards the training beam that had beenlowered from the ceiling track. With the exception ofYvonne, Janet and their sycophantic cronies theinmates lowered their heads in sympathy to Deborah’sterrible plight.Deborah did her best to keep her head up highbut she averted her eyes and her naturally athletic gaitseemed slightly inelegant as she trudged down thegymnasium. She reached the beam and slowlyunfastened the top button of her red and black stripedblazer. She shrugged the jacket off and folded it neatlyacross the beam. Deborah stretched out her arms andplaced her hands on the beam. Very slowly she leanedforward.

3Running BendersRunning Benders were nothing new. They hadbeen invented by an athletic prefect named GemimaAppleby who wished to teach Claire Brooks a lessonfor rubbishing her.When Ms Lawton got wind of the noveltechnique she had been intrigued and had set up atest range in the gymnasium for Big Gem to give hera demonstration. The Grand Dame had beenimmediately impressed by Gemima’s display ofathleticism and dexterous control of the cane.However, she had some reservations and selectedseveral prefects to participate in the running bendertrials. As she suspected the technique was difficult tocoordinate and even after several practice sessionsfew of the prefects could guarantee a clean caning.Although Ms Lawton was of the opinion thatgals were broad of beam and perfectly designed forbeing caned on the bottom she knew that the caneneeded to land crisply on the crown of the rump. Shehad learned from her own experiences at school that

Operation Scorched Arsea badly delivered caning could cause unnecessarydiscomfort.Following the trials she issued a dictate thatonly prefects who could consistently prove themselveson the test range would be certified to deliver runningbenders.Noticeably it was mostly the more athleticinmates who managed to perfect the tricky techniqueand Patsy Butcher was a world class athlete.Deborah Morton and Patsy Butcher were closechums. Patsy often spotted Debs while she worked onher quick sprints. Nonetheless as Deborahapproached the beam at the end of the hall she wasin no doubt that the next few minutes would prove tobe extremely unpleasant.Despite their friendship, several days earlier,Patsy had been required to cane Deborah in anothermatter with regard to Red House Business. Thecaning had been a conventional close-in six of thebest administered with the same ceremonial housecane. Deborah who had been caned by dozens ofprefects during her career was of the opinion thatPatsy ranked amongst the most proficient ever. Theprospect of a twelve-stroke running bender from theathletic Rastafarian made Debs extremely nervous.Ms Lawton had been impressed during therunning bender trials. The Butcher twins were the firstprefects ever to get full certification at their firstattempt, each shooting perfect sixes on each of theirthree qualifying attempts.Deborah Morton approached the beamunenthusiastically. Nobody had ever accused Debs ofbeing faint of heart but the idea of preparing herself

11for a beating was extremely unappealing. She placedher hands along the wooden rail and halfheartedlyleaned forward.Patsy Butcher looked down the hall. Deborahwas not yet in any position for receiving a runningbender but she allowed her to remain leaning againstthe beam while she sent the remaining Red Housegals to form a line along the back wall so that theywere facing Deborah.Yvonne and Janet bustled their way into pollposition directly in front of Debs. They had the sameshit-eating smirks on their faces that they had wornduring the scolding. Deborah did her best to starethem down defiantly but their undisguised glee madeher feel sick and humiliated.She felt Patsy’s hand on her shoulder. “I’msorry Debs,” the House Captain whispered, “But I’mgoing to need you to bend over as far as you can. Ineed you up as high as possible so that I can get aclean shot at you.”Deborah shot a bleak look at Patsy and thenreleased her grip on the beam and reached her arms,head and upper torso down towards the floor.Deborah’s heart was pounding. For the thirdtime since she had returned from furlough she wasfaced with the prospect of receiving twelve strokes.Debs was of the opinion that six was the perfectnumber for a caning. She accepted that three or evenfour strokes were probably not enough to punish amega-minx of her experience. Six, on the other hand,she considered perfectly adequate. Just enough tokeep steam coming out from under her bumbags for

Operation Scorched Arseseveral hours, but not enough to distract her fromgoing about her regular business. During her lastextended beating Ms Lawton had broken the seniorcane when delivering the tenth stroke and had beenforced to complete the flogging with a prefect’sashplant. To compensate for using the lighter canethe Grand Dame had given Debs an additional twostrokes. It had been the longest caning Deborah hadever received and she had been astonished by theexponential increase in the effect of each stroke thelonger the punishment went on. She had no doubtthat a twelve-stroke running bender from the athleticPatsy was going to be very tough duty indeed.

4A Sound BeatingThe remaining Red House gals watched inwide-eyed awe as Patsy sprinted down the longgymnasium.There were only half a dozen gals in the hallwho had ever been the recipients of running benders.Most of the gals, especially inmates in the early partof their sentences, had believed they were an urbanlegend spread about by the more experienced gals tospook them. But as the cane slashed across DeborahMorton’s tautened bumbags the myth became aninstant reality.The voice over the public address system wasunmistakable.“One,” announced Ms Lawton.The gals in the gymnasium exchanged glances.They had always thought that the Grand Dame hadeyes and ears everywhere but were baffled how shecould be observing the proceedings in the gymnasiumwhen she was nowhere to be seen.

Operation Scorched ArseThe gals on the landings looked startled. Thecrack of the cane exploding off Deborah Morton’sbumbags had echoed through the building like a rifleshot.During the walkthrough they had noticedJackie Ivanhoe following behind the Debs and Catparade. As Deborah was hustled out of the corridorand into the stairwell at the end of each landing Ivanwould stoop down and prop open the door. Theintent had eluded them until they heard theunmistakable sound of rattan ricocheting offgossamer.Katie Beck grinned gleefully. She was seated inher office with the door open and she heard thesound of the caning cracking off Deborah’s bumbagsas clearly as if it was coming from next door in theBeak’s study. She loved it when a plan cametogether.Deborah Morton’s head jerked back, her facecontorted in agony. The past few days had not beenkind to Deborah’s rear end. In the space of less thana week she had been caned three times and all of thepunishments had been from the top end of thespectrum. Even a whop-hardened veteran likeDeborah was suffering from a touch of the residuals.The cane had swiped across her slightly tenderbehind with the sting and venom of a rattle snake.When her eyes opened she was confronted by thegloating looks of Yvonne and Janet. She slumpedback into a full hangover and panted in unexpurgatedmisery.

15Patsy strode back down the gymnasium. Shefelt sorry for her victim but she had no choice otherthan to put her arm into the punishment. She hadbeen horrified when the Grand Dame had told herthat she wanted every stroke to be heard in all fourcorners of the building. Futilely she had objected andrewarded with a scathing lecture on Deborah’sshortcomings and the Grand Dame had made thinlyveiled threats regarding her own backside if Patsyfailed to comply.Patsy swooped down, the ceremonial housecane slicing through the air in a perfect arc andcutting across the very crown of Deborah’s backside.By any standards it was a regal stroke and even Deb’ssympathetic friends and fans couldn’t help but beimpressed by the sheer majesty of the manner inwhich the beating was being delivered.The thwacks of the cane were music to YvonneGodfrey and Janet Mitchell’s ears. Every time Debshead reared back with her face contorted in agonythe wicked prefects were filled with glee.The cruel prefects had been delighted whenPatty and Katie had summonsed them and outlinedtheir new and most dastardly plan. Over the yearsDeborah had shown them nothing but contempt andthey relished the idea of aiding and abetting in herpublic humiliation.The whole plan had gone off swimmingly.Deborah had arrived in the library clearly prepared fora scrap. However, her pugnacious attitude hadquickly evaporated and been replaced by incredulitywhen Patsy had explained the situation. Debs scored

Operation Scorched Arse158 on the Cattell III B IQ test but for once sheseemed to having considerable difficulty grasping theconcepts being explained to her. Debs normalcocksure self-assurance seemed to elude her and asheen of sweat had glistened on her brow as Patsyformally read out the charge.Later, when the Wart explained the procedurefor the Full Collar Walkthrough Deborah Morton hadlooked like she might burst into tears.The cane exploded across Deborah’sdefenseless derriere forcing her head to snap back,her face contorted and her mouth formed into a silenthowl.Yvonne and Janet leered at her.It had been Katie’s idea to force the strokes tobe heard all around the building.“It’ll stop Butcher from pulling the strokes,”she advised the Wart, “and it’ll give a whole newmeaning to a sound beating.”“You are such a rotten bitch,” the Wart hadcomplimented Katie.

5Anatomy of a Running BenderA successful running bender requires precisiontiming and eye-cane coordination. Ideally the strokewill be delivered with the arm and cane in a perfecthorizontal plane. Early or late execution of the strokecould result in miss-hits or fouls. Although Deborahwas not in much of a position to be thankful while shewas head down, arse up over the beam, she would begrateful later during the painful hours of recovery forPatsy’s proficiency.The members of the Red House watched inawe as Patsy sprinted down the gym. She had tiedher waist-length braided dreadlocks back into a ponytail that swung from side to side as she accelerated.She swooped in low and sliced another perfect stripeacross Deborah’s behind.“Six!” Ms Lawton announced over the loudspeaker.Patsy walked back up the library and looked ather watch.

Operation Scorched ArseDeborah Morton was not having a good time ofit. Patsy’s careful accuracy meant that the first sixstrokes had all landed cleanly across the crown of herbackside. There had been no wraparounds or highstrikes which she was grateful for, but with a limitedtarget area the House Captain was landing thestrokes in close proximity to each other.Deborah gritted her teeth. She knew that thenext few minutes were going to be even moreexcruciating but she was determined not to howl orblub.Patsy sighed and set off again down the centerof the gym. The first time she had caned Deborah ithad been a routine affair related to House Business.They had hugged afterwards and Deborah hadcomplimented Patsy on her prowess and technique;telling her it was one of the better sixes she had everreceived from a prefect. She hated having beenforced to beat Deborah again but she was determinedto deliver the thrashing with maximum force andminimum damage.Patsy swooped in, the cane whistling throughthe air as she snapped her wrist with perfect timing.Debs left leg jerked backwards as the long stickslashed across the sweet spot.“Seven,” said Ms Lawton over the intercom.Deborah was beginning to feel decidedlywhop-weary. Her backside was on fire and she wascompletely helpless to defend herself. The manner inwhich she was positioned over the training beammeant she would need assistance to return to the

19vertical standing position. Her backside was sitting upproud for no other reason than to be thrashed with athirty-six inch rattan cane.Patsy tightened her grip on the ceremonialhouse cane. It was longer and thicker than theashplant that she normally worked with, andcompared favorably to the senior cane that MsLawton brandished with such aplomb. At the far endof the gymnasium Deborah was bent into a vee overthe beam, her body supported by the balls of herfeet, her heels off the ground and her gossamercovered backside sitting up perfectly. Patsy Butchertapped the tip of the cane on the floor of thegymnasium and set off running.Cathryn Cassidy sidled up beside JanetMitchell. Mitch the Bitch was openly relishingDeborah’s misfortune. Every time Debs head snappedback Janet’s face split into an enormous grin. CatCassidy stamped her heel down on the bridge ofJanet’s foot. Mitch the Bitch squealed in anguish.Deborah managed to suppress a squeal ofanguish as the twelfth stroke sizzled across herbackside. She felt Patsy leaning over her.“Are you okay?” Patsy asked earnestly.Debs grunted. “I’ll live,” she said throughclenched teeth. “Just help me up.”Deborah received visits from well-wishers andsympathizers standing up. Rosemary had done herbest to soothe her best chum’s frazzled rump butDebs still felt as if she was sitting on a lighted griddle.

Operation Scorched ArseThe Bounder stopped by and slipped Debsseveral shots of vodka that helped a little but by thetime bed-time came Deborah Morton was resigned toa long and painful night of lying face-down on hertummy.With a double bare bender, a routine housebeating, a public flogging and a Formal House Beatingalready under her bumbags it occurred to Debs thatMs Lawton was taking the business of declaring herPublic Enemy Number One very seriously indeed.Deborah Morton predicted she had some veryhot and sweaty times ahead of her.

6A Lunchtime LickingOnly hours after Deborah’s appointment in thegymnasium the inmates got another insight into theinner workings of Operation Scorched Arse.Rosemary Booker blushed ruefully as the DutyMonitor approached. She knew she was bang torights and had no doubt that Yvonne Godfrey wouldhave no hesitation in making the most out of thesituation.“I saw that Booker,” Yvonne snapped, “In ahurry for lunch are you?”“N..N..No... Well not really Godfrey, I’m sorry,I can go to the back of the queue if you want,”Rosemary stammered.“Oh sorry are we Booker?” Yvonne sneered.“You push in line bold as brass and now you’re sorry.”Rosemary reddened slightly.“You see the gal at the end of the line,Booker?”Rosemary nodded.

Operation Scorched Arse“Well you go outside and wait in the corridorand when that gal is sitting down I’m going to comeand have a few words with you.” With a sneer on herface Yvonne Godfrey reached into her pocket andtheatrically produced her red card. There was a gaspin the hall. Queue jumping traditionally attracted ayellow card at worst. Most prefects would have let heroff with a verbal warning.“Booker, Phase 5,” she announced loudly. “Sixof the best for jumping line. Nose and toes in thecorridor until I have time to deal with you.”With bowed head and a heavy tread Rosemarytrudged out of the hall and into the corridor. Some ofthe gals in line gave her sympathetic grins butRosemary was in no mood to return them. It was along wait before the last gal had finally collected herlunch tray and made her way to her seat givingRosemary plenty of time to ruminate on her latestmisfortune.Like most inmates of the facility Rosemarydespised Yvonne Godfrey and had viewed herpromotion to a member of the Elite with trepidation.Rosemary watched disconsolately as Yvonne enteredthe corridor. She had an uncomfortable feeling thatshe was about to get a humiliating scolding from thenew prefect. Doubtless it would be delivered at onehundred decibels so everybody could hear.However, Rosemary Booker was in for an evenmore unpleasant shock.Yvonne Godfrey grinned wolfishly at Rosemary.“Hungry are we, Booker? Fancy some lunch nowyou’ve waited so long?”

23“Oh yes, Godfrey, shall I cut along then?”Rosemary said hurriedly. Rosie couldn’t believe herluck. Godders was letting her off.Yvonne Godfrey continued to smile. “YesBooker, you can cut along.” Rosemary breathed asigh of relief and started towards the door.“But not just yet, Booker,” Yvonne grinned, “Ithink we’d better have those whops first, wouldn’tyou agree.”Rosemary’s glared at Yvonne. “Alright,Godfrey,” she said quietly, “I know you want to breakyour duck so why don’t we go up to the library andget it over with.”“That’s the spirit Booker,” Yvonne smiled, “butyou’re hungry and it seems such a waste of timetraipsing all the way to the library, why don’t we justdeal with this here and now. Why don’t you just goover there by the door and touch your toes?”Rosemary stared at the prefect incredulously.“Whadaya you mean?” she managed to stutter.“I would have thought it was quite clear,Booker,” Yvonne said nonchalantly, “I want you to goover to the door, to bend over and to touch yourtoes.”Rosemary stared from the prefect to the opendoorway, her mouth open in disbelief. It wasunthinkable. To be caned in the open doorway wouldmean every gal in the lunch hall would hear.Rosemary glared at Yvonne. “Yeah rock onGodders,” she snarled.“Go over to the door, bend over, touch themand get that big fat arse in the air where I can see it!Do I make myself clear, Booker, or do I need to callIvan to hold you down?”

Operation Scorched ArseRosemary Booker looked at Godderscontemptuously.“You won’t need to hold me down, you bitch,”she hissed. “Lay it on thick as you like. You know it’sonly whops.”Rosemary Booker was the quietest member ofthe Famous Four. She was modestly studious,competently athletic and enjoyed playing modestparts in plays and productions. However, Rosemaryexcelled in an area that bemused even her closestchums. Her bum appeared impervious to pain. Sheseemed genuinely bemused after her first caning, “Idon’t understand what the fuss is about,” shewondered, “it’s only whops.”

7A Low-RiderRosemary turned and walked towards thedoors of the cafeteria. Slowly she leant forward andreached down until her fingers rested on the tips ofher pointed shoes. She waited while Yvonnerearranged her dress, turning back her skirt, exposingan enviable expanse of navy blue gossamer.Rosemary stared at a spot of wooden floor and triedher best to compose herself before the cane lashedacross her drum tight bumbags. It was a scorcher,but Rosemary merely shifted her weight a little andthen wriggled back into positionYvonne Godfrey was enjoying herself. After sixyears as an inmate of the Back to School unit she hadalways dreamed of the day when she would finallyassume the mantel of a member of the Elite. It hadalways struck Yvonne Godfrey that being on the endother than the receiving end of the cane would bevery good duty indeed.For several years Yvonne had been makingcovert plans with Patty Hodge and Katie Beck that

Operation Scorched Arseonce she was finally installed in the Elite she wouldestablish the most heinous incarnation of the SecretSorority of Serial Spankers in the units history.Yvonne Godfrey would act as Commandant of thefearsome SS and would enjoy the full protection ofthe Radical Right. Yvonne was delighted that she wasable to open her open her whop account across thetrophy bumbags of one of the unit’s most belovedlegends. She was certain that Patty would approve.Yvonne stared at the sea of gossamer with aglint of relish in her eye. She whipped the cane downand grinned as it sent the full moons wiggling andjiggling. She stepped in again and let loose anotherscorcher. She was disappointed that Rosemary wasn’tshowing some reaction by now; she would dearlyenjoy observing the unfortunate inmate demonstrateher discomfort.Down below Rosemary was standing herground stoically. Despite Godders best efforts Rosiewas unperturbed by the assault on her bumbagsexcept for the ignominy of being punished so publicly.Yvonne Godfrey gripped the cane tightly andstepped in for the fifth time. She stooped down andlashed the cane on the soft sulcus of the voluptuousorbs. For the first time Rosemary hissed withconsternation. Even the apparently whop-insensateRosie was not completely insensitive to low-riders.Although the delivery of low-riders wasofficially frowned upon and discouraged, it wasgenerally accepted that an occasional miss-hit wasgoing to occur in the cut and thrust of a whopping.

27Yvonne grinned to herself, the slice across the sulcushad been far from a miss-hit, she had clinically takenaim and fired off a perfect shot, right on the money.As Yvonne took aim, both gals were fullyaware they were about to enter the final battle ofwills. Rosemary Booker, a veteran with over ahundred canings already under her skirt, knew thatthe last stroke would be the hottest, ripest, spicieststripe of six sizzling strokes. Yvonne Godfrey knewthat it was her last chance to make Rosemary squeal.The cane cut across Rosemary’s bumbags witha crack that echoed around the lunch hall. Every galin the hall winced. Rosemary blinked.For a moment she didn’t move then slowly sherose to her feet. She pushed her skirt down andturned silently to face her nemesis. The two gals eyesmet and to Yvonne’s chagrin Rosemary smiled at her.Yvonne stood, smoking rod in hand, bitterlydisappointed not to have gotten more reaction out ofher victim. Still, she consoled herself, Rosemary wasonly the first gal she had licked so far and therewould be plenty more fish to fry.Yvonne poked Rosemary in the chest with thetip of her ashplant.“Get your fat arse in there and get some lunch,Booker,” she said unpleasantly. “When you’ve finishedbring me your punishment book so we can deal withthe post-processing. You can tell me how it was.”Rosemary glared at Yvonne. “It was barelywarm, that’s how it was,” she said tartly. “If that’s thebest you’ve got to dish out then we don’t haveanything to worry about.”

Operation Scorched ArseYvonne just grinned. “You know and I knowthat’s not true. Why don’t you go and sit down andsee how you enjoy that low-rider rubbing against thechair.”Rosemary snorted disparagingly and stompedback into the cafeteria.“Fucking bitch,” groaned Rosemary as she tookher place next to her chums. “That low-rider wasintentional.”Jojo patted Rosie’s hand sympathetically.“She’s mean and rotten to the core,” Nixdownsnorted. “You should have hacked her in the shins.These Radical Revisions are beginning to give me thepip.”“I think we’re only just seeing the tip of theiceberg,” predicted Jojo ominously.

8Surprise, Surprise!The Famous Four were not having a good dayof it. Later that evening Jojo and Nixdown were takenby surprise.“You what?” snapped Nicola Jane Nixon.Jennifer Gardiner took a sharp step back. Nixlooked as if she might cuff the Little Brat around theear, or worse still hack her on the shins.“I’m sorry Nixon,” said the grubby nervously,as she thrust the red envelopes forward. “I’m just themessenger.”Jojo stepped between her chum and thenervous Brat. “It’s okay Jenny,” she said soothingly,“I’ll take those.” She reached over and took theenvelopes. “Cut along now,” she said comfortingly,“you ain’t done nothing wrong.”Jennifer Gardiner breathed an audible sigh ofrelief and cut along. Very sharpish.Jojo looked at Nixdown and sighed. Her bestchum’s pretty features had been rearranged into asullen pout. She stood with her hands on her hipslooking obstinate. Jojo knew the look all too well.

Operation Scorched Arse“We’d better cut along,” Joanna saidpragmatically, “lets get it over with.”“Cut along my arse,” growled Nix. “I ain’tcutting along anywhere.”Jojo sighed. “What are you going to do? Do abunk? Where is that going to get you?”“I’m going for a fag,” said Nix and stomped off.Jojo hurried after her. “Ok already,” shelaughed. “But, just one.”“What’s this all about, Evans?” Nix askedpugnaciously.Penelope Ann Evans looked sympathetic. “Well,you’ve both got five red marks for rubbishing thepre’s, so you’re going to be dangled”, she said quietly.“Dangled?” exploded Nix. “You haven’t got anyauthority to dangle us; we’re in Phase Five now!”“I’m afraid you’re wrong Nixon,” Penelope Anninformed them. “Read the new protocols.”“Oh for gawd’s sake,” groaned Nixdown.“New protocols or no new protocols,”interjected Jojo, “how can we have five red marks,we’ve only been back a week?”Penelope Ann sighed. “You both had four atthe end of last year,” she explained.“Last year? What the fuck has last year got todo with the price of whops?” snapped Nix. “You knowas well as I do that the slate’s wiped clean at the endof each term.”“Not any more. The new protocols say thathangovers will apply.”“Oh my giddy aunt,” laughed Jojo, “this is justso bogus.”

31Joanna Heyworth was by far the most dangledgal in the facility. She refused to be intimidated bythe Serial Spankers and treated the more pompousand prissy factions of the Elite with disdain.Although rubbishing pre’s could be a delightfulrecreation it had a painful downside.The process of issuing red marks was covertand obscure. On the wall of the Elite common roomthere was a card index system, with an individualcard for every inmate at the facility. If a prefect feltthat she had been rubbished she would take the galscard and annotate it in red ink. When a gal reachedfour annotations her card would be moved to an areaof the index system known as the ‘Hot Zone’. If aprefect felt a gal in the Hot Zone had rubbished her,she would annotate her card and place it in a redenvelope. She would then notify the Red-shirt whowould send her personal grubby to seek out theinmate and have her cut along sharpish to the library.Rubbishing was a poorly defined term and theprefects were free to interpret it as they felt fit. Ifthey personally caned an inmate they were forced tostate the reason in the gal’s Punishment Record Bookand file a report with Patty Hodge. However, if theyjust didn’t like the way an inmate looked at them orany other imagined slur that they would havedifficulty explaining they took recourse by issuing redmarks. Rubbishing abuse was rampant, especiallyamongst the members of the Secret Sorority of SerialSpankers, better known as the SS, who wouldconspire to target particular inmates. Any galunfortunate enough to land in the Hot Zone wasguaranteed to suffer a dangling within days.

Operation Scorched ArseJojo’s overt disdain for the SS meant she was aregular resident in the Hot Zone.Katie Beck’s tenure as Red-shirt had left manyunpleasant legacies for the Woody gals to suffer.Having caned every gal at the unit she complained tothe Grand Dame that the thin whippy ashplant wasnot an appropriate instrument for whipping the whophardenedarses of the likes of April Turner, CathrynCassidy, Melanie White or Lady Victoria. Ms Lawtonapproved the use of a long handled, oval headed,wood backed brush which proved significantly morepunishing.Next Katie procured an oversized stool from alocal antique shop. To the dismay of her victims thestool had no side bars for them to hold on to and theextreme height of the stool meant that once that theywere over and up they were literally dangling withtheir hands and feet unable to reach the floor.Six well-placed cracks of the brush could prettywell color a gal’s bum red from the top to bottom ofeach cheek. Being dangled was considered very badduty indeed by the inmates of the Back to Schoolunit.

9Nailing the Big BUTTPenelope Ann Evans was a statuesque gal andlooked magnificent in the red shirt and black tie thatsignified her office. She helped Joanna up and overher lap and rearranged Jojo’s clothing. Once she hadJojo tucked in tightly and her bottom bared, Pennyunfastened the cuff button of her blouse and rolledup her right sleeve.Penelope Ann and Jojo were tight. Theirequestrian careers went back years and they werehoping that their application to allow the Woodyriding team to compete in the national trials wouldsoon be approved. Penny Ann was uncomfortablewith many of the radical revisions to the protocols butnonetheless she was duty bound to impose them. Sheraised the hairbrush to shoulder height then broughtit down with a crack.Jojo was completely reliant on Penelope Annfor support, her arms and legs dangled down oneither side without any hope of reaching the floor.The new Red-shirt was demonstrating considerable

Operation Scorched Arseskill with the hairbrush and by the time the sixthspank slapped across Jojo’s lower left cheek thereigning Big BUTT considered herself to be well andtruly spanked. Hanging upside down, panting forbreath Jojo waited for Penelope Ann to help her backinto the vertical position.“Holy Fuck,” yelped Jojo. The seventh whaphad caught her completely unprepared.Nixdown turned her face away from the walland gaped. In four years she had never heard Jojoutter as much as a moan or a groan under thenumerous assaults that her derriere had endured. Butas the eighth slap cracked down Jojo was showingsome considerable signs of consternation. Her legswere kicking frantically and her head was shaking.“Jesus H,” thought Nixdown, “she’s fuckingnailed Jojo.”Penelope Ann Evans took a tight hold aroundJojo’s waist and tucked her in closely. Penny hadbeen an unlikely selection as Red-shirt; she was quietand unassuming and was generally happier in thecompany of her pony than her fellow inmates.Nonetheless when the baton had been passed to hershe was determined to take it up and prove herself.However, she was flabbergasted to find thatwith her first outing with the Red-shirt’s hairbrush shehad nailed the unit’s toughest nut to crack.“Jesus H,” she thought to herself, “I’ve fuckingnailed Jojo!”Joanna Heyworth desperately tried to composeherself. The extra slaps of the brush had caught her

35unawares and had sent her central nervous systeminto momentary confusion. She had been mentallyprepared for six and had put it up and kept it upwithout complaint. When the sixth smack hadblistered her bum she had felt the familiar feeling ofrueful relief. It was hot, it was sweaty, but it wasover. It was hardly cricket to unleash anunannounced seventh slap on a gal who was onlyexpecting six.“Jesus H,” thought Jojo, “she’s fucking nailedme!”Nicola Jane Nixon turned back to the wall andpressed her nose against the wood paneling. Behindher the dangling was continuing unabated, she hearda ninth slap and then a tenth. Nicola Jane began tomutter her indecipherable Nixdown hexes as shecontinued to press her nose to the wall.The Radical Reforms to the protocols werereally beginning to give her the pip.Penelope Ann helped Jojo slide back down toher feet. Jojo rummaged under her skirt, rearrangingher bumbag elastic and straightening her blouse tails.She smoothed down her skirt and fiddled with her tiebefore retrieving her blazer.“You okay?” asked Penny.Jojo looked at her straight in the eye. “Younailed me because you took me by surprise,” she saidbluntly. “It won’t happen again.”Nonetheless, Joanna thought to herself, thenew protocols clearly did not bode well for the futureof her backside.

Operation Scorched ArseNixdown peeled off her blazer and set it aside.She stepped over to the spanking stool and offeredher wrist to Penelope Ann so she could be assistedover and up.She felt the hem of her skirt being turned backand the tails of her blouse being moved out of thefiring line. She gritted her teeth as she felt the backof the brush circling on her naked flesh.Unappealing as the prospect of a doubledangling might be at least she had the advantage ofknowing what to expect.“Go ahead Evans, hot as you like,” she saidthrough clenched teeth, “but don’t think that you’regonna nail me, ‘cos you won’t.”Penny Ann raised the hairbrush and brought itcrashing down.

10The Fabulous FartBefore the week was out Deborah Mortonreceived another tough lesson in exactly how hard lifecould be when you had been declared Public EnemyNumber One at the nation’s most austere Back toSchool unit. Midway through a music tutorial MsWhitton bent her over the piano stool and beat herwith a violin bow.“Morton, fetch the violin bow and step up!”snapped Ms Whitton, who acted as the Music Damearound the facility.As she trudged towards the front of the roomDeborah Morton had good reason to be alarmed.For the first few years as an inmate at thefacility Debs had been Ms Whitton’s star pupil. Herexceptional talent as a clarinetist and her fine singingvoice had won her considerable favor with the MusicDame. However, fatefully that favored relationshipwould all change with a sound of another naturealtogether.

Operation Scorched ArseDuring the autumn term of Deborah’s fourthyear at the facility, the early rehearsals of theupcoming Woodys Christmas production of Handel’sMessiah were progressing extremely well. Ms Whittonsmiled to herself as she guided the choir into thebeginning of the Hallelujah chorus. She wasparticularly fond of the piece and had takeninordinate time and care over the arrangement.Ms Whitton turned to lead in the altos. As thechoristers began to sing she was surprised to noticethat Deborah Morton had missed the beat. Thinkingit to merely be an uncharacteristic error from hermusical star she turned away, but moments laterwhen she turned her attention back to the altos shewas aghast to see that Deborah was not only notsinging at all, but appeared to be engrossed inreading something she had extracted from her blazerpocket.Angrily the music instructor indicated to thechoir to stop.“Morton,” she barked. “Step up before thechoir this minute.”Deborah was jolted to her senses and hurriedlystuffed the paper back into her pocket. Slightly redfaced she made her way up before the enragedDame.“You’re not singing, gal” Ms Whitton snapped.“Explain yourself immediately.”It would have been an easy matter forDeborah to have made up an excuse that she had asore throat and didn’t want to strain herself, butinstead what followed would earn Debs a place in theannals of Woody lore forever.

39With perfect comic timing Deborah Mortonfarted.It was not a small, secretive girly grunt but anenormous fart. Enough wind to make a gals skirt flapand to strain the seams of her bumbags. It wasflatulence on a fantastic scale. It was a fart thatswooped and soared and echoed throughout the hall.T’was a veritably gargantuan guff.For a moment the hall was quiet. ThenDeborah Morton began to laugh. She rocked back onher heels and tickled her ribs with mirth. She wasquickly accompanied by the hysterical tittering of therest of the choir as they celebrated the sheer majestyof the fabulous fart.Momentarily Ms Whitton stared at DeborahMorton, an incredulous look on her face. For a heftylady she moved with remarkable speed. She grabbedDeborah Morton by the wrist and in a fluid movementsat back on the piano stool and dumped the helplessinmate face down over her knee. With even greaterspeed she had turned back Deborah’s skirt and to theamazement of the assembled choir she yankedDeborah’s bumbags down until they wereconcertinaed around her ankles.At first Deborah had been winded by herdizzying downward journey but she quickly regainedher breath and started to struggle. However, fit andathletic though she was, Deborah was no match forthe brawny Dame.“Leggo of me,” Deborah wailed, “Lemme up!”

Operation Scorched ArseThe indignity of having her bare bottomdisplayed to the choir was just too ghastly andDeborah kicked and struggled and squirmed with allher strength.“Lemme go you bitch!” she screamed.Ms Whitton had a tight hold on the squirminginmate and an even firmer hold on the conductor’sbaton, which she had raised high in the air. Shebrought the baton down with terrific force.

11A Bare Bum Spanking“Lemme go I tell you,” Deborah wailed as thebaton flailed at her naked bottom. The baton roseand fell with startling speed. Deborah Morton vainlytried to escape from Ms Whitton’s vice-like grip butthe Dame just kept on whacking. After six whacks MsWhitton showed no inclination to stop, after a dozenshe merely seemed to be warming to her work, andthe blows continued to rain down.Deborah Morton was no newcomer to havingher butt whipped, but this was a thrashing withoutprecedent. Deborah’s legs were kicking frantically;her body was twisting, her head shaking violently andDeborah Morton, amongst the toughest gals at theunit, started to howl.The authority to administer punishment to thebare bottom was limited to the Grand Dame and theRed-shirt. Members of the Brass were strictly limitedto administering six strokes during any singlepunishment. However, Ms Whitton seemed obliviousto these rules, her arm pumped up and down andDeborah’s bottom was being slashed to tatters. The

Operation Scorched Arseskinny baton was only a light implement butadministered with such purpose made it aninstrument of stinging torment.By now Deborah’s howls were changing fromindignation to genuine distress. The baton continuedto slice across her arse and the frenzied Dame wasshowing no signs of letting up. Deborah’s cheekswere criss-crossed with angry weals and her struggleswere becoming frantic. Her legs scissored throughthe air, her buttocks squirmed and wriggled to escapethe onslaught, she tried to put her hands back toprotect herself to no avail, but still the beatingcontinued.The members of the choir watched in horrifiedawe. Ms Whitton was thrashing Deborah with thefervor of a frenzied zealot. Her arm was pumping upand down at a frantic pace.Debs Morton had a reputation for inspiring irein members of the Brass and the Elite but even by herunfortunate standards the untimely release of windhad pushed Ms Whitton over the brink. It appeared tothe choristers that she was literally frothing at themouth.Finally after the baton had slashed acrossDeborah’s backside three dozen times or more MsWhitton began to slow down. With three last swipesthe whipping finally drew to a close.The hall was suddenly silent. Ms Whittondragged up Deborah’s bumbags and smoothed downher skirt. Debs remained sprawled across the Dame’slap as if uncertain of what to do. Roughly Ms Whittonyanked Deborah to her feet. Debs, normally so self-

43assured, stood in front of the choir with her headbowed looking shell-shocked.Ms Whitton pointed to the door. “Get out of mysight,” she snarled, and with a heavy tread DeborahMorton left the hall, tears trickling down her cheeks.There was an enquiry of course; Deborah wasgiven the opportunity to report the matter to herCourt Appointed Guardian and to file a complaint.However, she knew that if she filed a complaint itwould become a matter of public record. Four yearsearlier she had suffered the humiliation of her publicarrest and the subsequent castigation in the press.Debs Morton was less than enthusiastic aboutreturning to the public eye in relation to a fart,fabulous or otherwise. She elected to keep Woodybusiness as Woody business. Ms Whitton was given asix-month ban from beating Deborah.During the six months that followed theincident of the Fabulous Fart Ms Whitton sentDeborah to Coventry, limiting their relationship strictlyto choir and orchestra business.However, the night that Ms Lawton announcedthe implementation of Operation Scorched Arse andbranded Debs as Public Enemy Number One wascoincident with the end of the ban period. The GrandDame took the music instructor to one side.“Your thrashing rights over Deborah Mortonhave been fully reinstated,” the Grand Dame informedMs Whitton. “I’m sure should the opportunity ariseyou will do the right thing.”“Yes, Grand Dame,” grinned Ms Whitton. “Itwill be my pleasure.”

Operation Scorched Arse“But one thing, Ms Whitton,” said the GrandDame. “Everything must appear one hundred per centlegitimate.”“Of course Ma’am,” smiled the Dame, “I’ll takecare of everything.”

12Bacon SlicersMs Whitton was considered to be a powerbeater.She was large framed and extremely strong.She didn’t punish gals with the prolificacy of PattyHodge, the Wart or Katie Beck but on the occasionsshe did choose to wield the violin bow the eventswere memorable.Deborah Morton was stretched out across thepiano stool with her bumbags sitting up proud.Above her the music instructor had the violin bowraised above her head. The low lie of the stool meantthat by the time the tip of the bow reached its targetit was moving at terminal velocity.Deborah’s chums watched sympathetically. Itwas evident to everybody in the room that this wasnot a regular punishment. Ms Whitton was swipingthe bow down with all her might, the sound of thewooden stick rebounding off Deborah’s bumbagsliterally echoed around the room.The bow whistled through the air, collidingwith Deborah’s defenseless bottom with unmitigated

Operation Scorched Arseforce. Debs bucked and wriggled and kicked. Herchums watched anxiously as Ms Whitton prepared forthe last and probably most formidable swipe.“Get up gal!” snapped Ms Whitton.Deborah couldn’t believe her ears. The Damemust have miscounted. She was going to get off withfive. Painfully she pushed herself up and smoothedher skirt down. Stiff-legged she slowly started backtowards her desk.“Where do you think you’re going?” barked theDame.Deborah turned and looked plaintively at MsWhitton.“Bend over,” the Dame snapped.Deborah grimaced.“Turn around Morton and bend over and touchyour toes.”Slowly Deborah turned and faced the seatedinmates. She bent forward at the waist and reacheddown towards the tips of her shoes. Ms Whittonturned back the hem of her skirt.The tension in the room was palpable. Theywatched Ms Whitton take careful aim, raise the violinbow in the air then slice it downwards. InvoluntarilyDeborah stood bolt upright her hands clasping at hercheeks, a look of anguish on her face. It was aperfectly executed bacon slicer.Ms Whitton tapped the floor in front ofDeborah’s shoes.“Touch them Morton,” she snapped, “you knowthe form.”With trembling fingers Deborah reached down.

47Bacon slicing was a highly specializedtechnique. Instead of swiping the cane across thebuttocks horizontally it was brought down vertically,aiming to make only the slightest contact. Whenexecuted perfectly it made a gal feel as if a layer offlesh had been sliced off. The sensation was shortlived but instantly agonizing.Ms Whitton slashed down a second perfectlyexecuted bacon slicer. This time Deborah’s shouldersjolted back and her fingers raised six inches from hershoes. Despite her anguish she pushed forward andgot her fingers back in place. She could hardly holdback the tears.“Stay down,” ordered Ms Whitton.“That ain’t fair!” growled Nicola Jane at theback of the room.“Silence! Silence in the room!” bellowed MsWhitton.She slashed the violin bow down. For the thirdtime Debs jerked up.At the back of the room Jojo, Nix andRosemary watched in horror. Debs fingers had hardlyleft her toes for a second but still the music instructorwas calling it as a bad strike. Technically the protocolssaid that if a gal was touching her toes duringpunishment then she should not rise from positionuntil given permission. However, even the harshest ofDames realized that the toe-touching position wasextremely difficult to maintain and if a gal recoveredher stance promptly the strike was called good. MsWhitton was using the most ruthless interpretation ofthe protocols possible. Deborah only had two

Operation Scorched Arsechances. She either had to stay down so that the sixwas complete or otherwise Ms Whitton had to miss.The violin bow slashed down perfectly. Thepain was almost insurmountable but somehowDeborah found the will to keep her fingers on hertoes. Ms Whitton looked furious, but she had nochoice, the beating was finally street legal.“Get up gal,” she snarled. “Go back to yourdesk and stand on your chair with your hands on yourhead for the remainder of this tutorial.”

13The New SSYvonne Godfrey and her cronies were in hogheaven. The imposition of zero-tolerance andOperation Scorched Arse had made them feelomnipotent. Almost daily some poor gal would bepublicly red carded, then collared and marchedthrough the facility. Up in the library she would haveher bumbags cut to tatters by one or the other of theSecret Sorority of Serial Spankers. The new SS hadworked on enhancing many of Katie Beck’s originalforms of torture. They used the burly prefect JackieIvanhoe as their enforcer. She quickly earned thenickname of Ivan the Terrible. Ivan towered head andshoulders over most of the inmates and used herphysique to make collaring even more heinous thanbefore. She would raise gals up onto tiptoes and pintheir arms up behind their backs, occasionallyspitefully giving them Chinese burns into the bargainas she hustled them through the facility.Abuse of the rubbishing regulations was out ofcontrol. Yvonne and her cohorts played a cunning

Operation Scorched Arsegame. To ensure that they didn’t attract attention tothemselves they were careful to make sure thatreports of rubbishing were spread out between them.The Red-shirt, Penelope Ann Evans soon found thatshe was dangling two or three gals a day.Penelope Ann despised the SS. The Elite wassplit into two factions: the dreaded SS, and the Redshirtand her lieutenants, Cathryn Cassidy, MelanieWhite and the Butcher Twins, who did their best tokeep Yvonne in check. Penelope Ann raised hersuspicions of Yvonne’s manipulation of the rules andregulations with Ms Hodge but the Deputy GrandDame told her that she would do nothing withouthard evidence and forbade the Red-shirt frombringing the matter up with Ms Lawton.Patty and her cohorts on the Radical Right hadspent years covertly training Yvonne Godfrey for thejob, laying out plans and molding her to commandthe most heinous team of Serial Spankers in the unitshistory.Patty’s original plan was to install Yvonne inthe role of Red-shirt with Janet Mitchell as herdeputy. However, even Patty conceded that thiswould not be an easy sell. Yvonne was extremelyunpopular both with the inmates and the majority ofthe Brass. Nonetheless, Patty campaigned diligentlyand lobbied Ms Lawton with pro-Godders speeches atevery opportunity.Patty’s plans took a setback when DottyHammell, the leader of the Liberal Left proposedCathryn Cassidy as an alternative.Patty was apoplectic. She loathed Cathryn.They had a history pre-dating the Back to School unit.

51Cathryn had attended the exclusive Dartington ManorSchool where Patty Hodge was employed as theMistress in Charge of Discipline. Patty had singledCathryn out as a subversive and thrashed herfrequently with her infamous wye-tipped canes. Cathad treated Patty with the utmost contempt andcontinued to subvert to her hearts content.With Cathryn in charge of the Elite Patty fearedthat her plans for the new SS would be thwarted.Despite her haughty and arrogant demeanor Yvonnewas a typical bully and was unlikely to be prepared togo toe-to-toe with someone as forceful as Cat.Patty immediately embarked on a hostile anti-Cat campaign, constantly reminding the Grand Damethat it was Cathryn who had authored the ‘Manifestofor Mega-minxdom’ and founded the troublesomecult.Patty had a problem. The outgoing Red-shirtwas none other than April Turner. Many Woodyhistorians cite April as the original mega-minx and theinspiration for Cathryn’s manifesto. Nonetheless, MsLawton had decided to experiment and selected Aprilto fill the unit’s most prestigious position. Theexperiment had been hailed as a resounding success.Dotty and her liberal friends seemed to beedging ahead and Cat looked set for the Red-shirtwhen Patty unexpectedly changed horses.Patty selected Penelope Ann Evans as her newcandidate. It was a masterful move. Penny Ann was aquiet and uncontroversial member of the community.Patty figured that she was the perfect alternative tothe arrogant Yvonne and the wayward Cat.Penelope Ann was dismayed to suddenly findherself thrust into the race. She was shy and reserved

Operation Scorched Arseby nature. She preferred to spend her time quietly inthe stables tending to her horse. She had no desire tobe thrust into the hectic life-style of acting as Redshirt.Nonetheless, when the time came to vote theRadical Right and the Liberal Left concurred and shewas appointed with a hefty majority.Yvonne was deeply aggrieved by what sheinterpreted as Patty’s betrayal but the Deputy GrandDame placated her.“Penny Ann will be a lame duck,” shepromised. “You’ll be able to operate with impunityand Cassidy won’t be able to interfere. This is goingto be a great year for the SS.”

14Caning PrefectsDespite her promises to Yvonne Pattyremained concerned about Cathryn. Even though shewasn’t physically wearing the Red-shirt she was still aforce to be reckoned with. After a long night plottingwith Katie and the Wart in the saloon bar of theBunch of Grapes Patty came up with a cunning plan.As Deputy Grand Dame, Patricia Hodge wasresponsible for overseeing the performance andbehavior of the Elite. She pored over the RadicalReforms to the rules, regulations and protocols thatMs Lawton had implemented until she found a chink.According to the protocols the Elite weretreated differently to the other inmates. The EliteCode of Discipline dictated that the only member ofstaff authorized to cane a prefect was the GrandDame herself. Prefects sent up to the Principal’s studyreceived mandatory double bare benders. Caning ofprefects was relatively rare as the code offered themconsiderable protection.

Operation Scorched ArseThe code was especially favorable to themembers of the Elite with regard to misconductduring lectures and tutorials. It stated that a prefectcould only be red-carded out of lectures for causing amaterial disruption to the proceedings and requiredconsiderable paperwork to support the application fora beating. The Brass could rarely be bothered withthe hassle.Patricia Hodge called a meeting of the RadicalRight. She instructed her cohorts to file a series ofcomplaints against Cathryn and her chums forcreating minor disturbances that went unpunished. Inthe meantime Patty promised she would draft awhite-paper on prefectorial misconduct titled ‘EliteBeating : Public or Private?’With fortuitous timing Ms Hodge delivered thewhite paper just as Ms Lawton had decided tounleash the full force of Operation Scorched Arse onthe inmates. Barely giving the document a secondglance Ms Lawton curtly told her deputy to revise theprotocols as appropriate and to implement whateverpolicies she deemed necessary.Patty commissioned the Wart to perform thefirst ever caning of a prefect in a lecture room.Predictably her target was Cathryn Cassidy. It was notas successful as Patty had hoped. Cathryn did notappear the least bit fazed by the punishment.However, Patty was not a woman to be deterred. Shegathered her cronies and announced the next phaseof her plan. The Radical Right was instructed toembark on a program of Elite Beatings with Cathryn

55and her closest chums, Melanie White and theButcher Twins as the specified targets.Shortly the sound of rattan rattling offtautened gossamer in the Elite lecture rooms becamecommonplace.Yvonne Godfrey was furious. “You’re supposedto protect us,” she complained bitterly to Patty. “Thatstupid bitch put me over her knee and spanked mewith a wooden spoon.”Patty sighed. Despite her efforts to restrict theprogram of prefectorial beatings to Cathryn and herthree chums the Liberal Left were not playing ball.She had already received complaints from severalmembers of the SS that they had been forced to bendover in the lecture rooms and now Dotty Hammellhad had the audacity to spank Patty’s commandant.“I’ll speak to everybody involved and makesure it never happens again,” Patty assured Yvonne.Patty did not find Dotty very receptive.“You made the rules, Patricia,” the DomesticScience Dame retorted when Patty scolded her forspanking Yvonne. “Godfrey backgabbed at me so Ispanked her just the same as I would have had itbeen anybody else.”“But I gave her my word,” said Patty lamely.“Too bad,” said Dotty emphatically. “You’dbetter tell little Miss Godfrey that if she doesn’t wantto be spanked she’d better keep that crabby tongueof hers in her mouth.”Patty didn’t have any more luck with PaulineGascoigne, Stephanie Powell or Jane Lummell. They

Operation Scorched Arsewere all adamant; if the gloves were off with the Elitethen the SS was fair game.Patty Hodge scowled and growled darkmutterings and wondered how she should break thenews to Yvonne.

15Scorched ArsesThe sound of canes rebounding off tautenedgossamer reverberated around the campus morning,noon and night as the zero-tolerance policy wasstrictly imposed. The whop rate was increasing inevery aspect of the inmates lives.Katie zealously enforced the Politics of Clobber.Every morning there was a queue outside her door ofinmates waiting for their circulation to be kick-startedwith Katie’s leather soled slipper.The no gabbing or goofing in assemblyprotocol was gleefully imposed by members of the SSresponsible for monitoring the hall. Red cards were ata premium.In the lecture rooms the standard modusoperandi of issuing verbal warnings and yellow cardsprior to resorting to corporal punishment was largelya thing of the past. The Radical Right wereparticularly ruthless, but even the darlings on theLiberal Left were using the cane with increasedregularity.

Operation Scorched ArseFree-time was fraught with danger for theinmates. Outside the hours they spent in the lecturerooms the facility was pre-dominantly administered bythe Elite. Despite Penny Ann’s efforts to control themYvonne and her SS prowled the corridors andrecreation areas looking for signs of mischief andmalfeasance. They would swoop down on haplessinmates and after securing them in a full collar haulthem off to the library.Patty took to making spot checks to ensurethat Melanie White wasn’t cutting any slack duringDorm Raids. Melanie would often arrive on a landingto find that the Deputy Grand Dame already hadseveral inmates bending over their beds waiting to becaned.Sporting spanking had reached epicproportions. Misguidedly Penelope Ann had accededto Ms Hodge’s advice to select Juliet Spage to act asthe Senior Brat Draper. In her role Juliet wasresponsible for overseeing the Brat mentoringprograms and was at liberty to drape all or any of thetwelve newest inmates whenever she felt that theywere falling short of performance expectations.Apparently Juliet’s expectations were high andperformance was low as she found grounds forspanking a minimum of a Brat a day. Penelope Annagain vainly tried to intervene but as usual Ms Hodgerefused to listen and admonished her harshly for herliberal opinions.Katie Beck pulled off a major coup when shepersuaded Ms Lawton to allow her to stage animpromptu clobber stand-down. The inmates werestartled to hear an instruction come over the publicannouncement system for them to, “Stand to

59attention, hands on your heads, standby for a fullclobber inspection.”Katie had timed the stand-down for afternoonbreak when all of the inmates were outside in therecreation area getting some fresh air.“Clobber abuse is rampant,” she explained. “Islippered six gals this morning. It’s time we sent out astronger message. We’ll stage an impromptu standdownand we’ll find tons of abuse. It will teach thema damn good lesson.”Katie Beck and Ms Hodge scrupulouslyinspected every gal in the recreation area. First theirblazers were inspected for loose threads and stains.Ms Lawton had given a single dispensation, that thegals would not be punished for stray hairs that mightbe found on their blazers. After her blazer had beeninspected the gal was instructed to remove her jacketand fold it at her feet. Next, she was told to put hertie over her shoulder, lowering the bib of her gymslipif necessary, and return her hands onto the top of herhead.Katie was familiar with every nuance of theprotocols regarding clobber and almost immediatelythe slipperings commenced.To the horror of the inmates they discoveredthat if they were found to have a dangling thread ona button or loose stitching on her collar braiding theywere told to bend over and slippered right there inthe recreation area.Belinda Lee, whose notorious lack of clobbercontrol had earned her the nickname of the Scruff,had so many uniform infractions that after she wassoundly slippered by Ms Hodge, she was sent up to

Operation Scorched ArseMs Lawton for a bare bender. Rosemary Booker,another inmate with considerable clobber challengesalso visited the Grand Dame. By the time inspectionwas over twenty-three inmates had been slippered inthe recreation area.The inmates of the facility were not bestimpressed by this new turn of events. Katie and Pattyon the other hand celebrated the first ever massslippering late into the night.These were hot and sweaty times for themega-minxes.

16Anarchy and ChaosHowever, far from being cowed intosubmission the mega-minxes retaliated by embarkingupon a rampage of mischief and mayhem. Japing theBrass and rubbishing the pre’s was the order of theday.Ms Lawton observed the escalation of anarchyand chaos with increasing dismay. During thesummer, when she had first drafted the RadicalRevisions, she had intended them as a short-termresponse to the seemingly unstoppable rise inmischief and malfeasance that had permeatedthrough the community during the previous twelvemonths. She figured that the imposition of the zerotolerancepolicy code-named Operation Scorched Arsewould act as a deterrent and help to restore amodicum of order.It had been a calculated decision but theGrand Dame was beginning to acknowledge that itmight have back-fired.

Operation Scorched ArseThe escalation in the whop rate was not limitedto the twelve most notorious mega-minxes that shehad branded the Dirty Dozen and denounced ashostiles. Inmates who had previously been content towatch the shenanigans from the sidelines weresigning up to the cult of mega-minxdom in droves.Gals who had previously only accumulated a handfulof punishments each year were establishing newpersonal records. Mischief and mayhem prevaileddespite the inmate’s knowledge that their behaviorwould inevitably conclude with them contracting adose of scorched arse syndrome.Ms Lawton was in a dilemma. AlthoughOperation Scorched Arse was not turning out asplanned it would be difficult to change course. Withso many new recruits to the subversive cult she hadno logical evidence that a relaxation of the zerotolerancepolicy would have any positive effect.Ms Lawton reviewed the latest sheaf of papersthat Katie had left on her desk. The pages containedPatty Hodge’s most recent proposals for revisions tothe wording of various rules, regulations andprotocols.She drummed her fingers on her desk. Theamendments were subtle but the Grand Dame knewthat every altered nuance was designed to make lifeeven harder for the inmates.“The whop rate is rising satisfactorily,” Pattyreported. “We’re up almost fifty per cent from thistime last year. Even the damn liberals are whoppingup a storm. Zero-tolerance is certainly the way

63forward. Have you signed the new amendments yet?I think that they’ll really make a difference.”Ms Lawton looked thoughtful. “Patricia do youremember the time when we were at school and youthrashed me on suspicion of malfeasance? You toldme it was for my own good. I thought it was ratherharsh and complained so you put me over your kneeand spanked me for being cheeky. Do you rememberthat?”Patty reached over and patted the GrandDames hand. “Now, now, Susan,” she saidunctuously. “I thought that we’d agreed to letsleeping dogs lie. You know that I’ve always acceptedyour authority as Grand Dame and I’ve doneeverything I can to support you. There’s no point indwelling on a few whops from the past. Besides whatdid they always tell us? Gals are born broad of beamand designed for a good tight six of the best?”“How many inmates have been caned today?”asked Ms Lawton.“Well I’d need to check the record, but at leasthalf a dozen,” responded Patty.“That’s quite a lot of sixes,” mused Ms Lawton.“Actually it should have been more,” saidPatty. “If you just sign these adjustments to theprotocols it will stop those damn liberals handing outyellow cards instead of reds. We would have scoredat least three more sets of whops if you had signedthe amendments when I sent them to you. Now, I’mnot trying to tell you how to do your job, Susan, butwe still have considerable work to do. It’s anarchyand chaos out there and all we have to respond withis the policy of zero-tolerance. This is no time to belily-livered.”

Operation Scorched Arse“I’ve finished a complete re-write of the Politicsof Clobber,” Katie told the Grand Dameenthusiastically. “I’ve tightened up a lot of clauses sothat those damn liberals will be forced to quit cuttingslack. I’ve reclassified some elements to zerotolerance.I’m expecting a substantial improvement inthe whop-rate over the next few days.”Katie thrust another sheaf of paper in front ofthe Grand Dame. “If you’ll just sign each sheet I’llimplement the changes immediately.”“Just leave them there for me to review,” MsLawton said wearily. All she could think of was hownice it would be to have a drink. A long, tall gin andtonic, with plenty of ice and a slice.

17A Disagreeable Start to the DayMs Lawton reviewed the two punishmentreports gloomily.“You knew that Morton had been chucked outof assembly and had just received a mandatory barebender, didn’t you?” she asked.Ms Whitton grinned. “Oh yes,” she saidsmugly. “But you told me to beat her whenever theopportunity arose and she was late for orchestrapractice so I gave her a damn good thrashing.”The Grand Dame sighed. Theoretically theMusic Dame was correct. When she had first initiatedthe harsh regime of Operation Scorched Arse she hadspecifically instructed the Dames to treat DeborahMorton with extreme prejudice. Nonetheless, as shelooked over the two reports again she couldn’t helpfeeling that Ms Whitton had taken the definition ofextreme prejudice to the limit.“Morton, Phase 5, step up for goofing,”screeched Janet Mitchell, waving her red card in theair.

Operation Scorched ArseDeborah rolled her eyes and groaned. Sheslowly stood up and struggled passed her seatedchums. At the end of the row of seats Mitch the Bitchwas positively glowing with delight.“Gotcha,” she gloated as Deborah approached.“And by the way, your tie’s undone,” she cackled.Deborah groaned again.Deborah ran her tongue over her lips. She hadbeen standing in disgrace at the front of the hall foralmost ten minutes. She had done her best to looknonchalant but from the way she kept pursing her lipsand drumming her fingers against the sides of herlegs it was clear that she was nervous and agitated.Debs’ heart began to pound uncomfortably asshe heard the click-clack of heels in the corridoroutside the hall. Momentarily the doors swung openand the first members of the Brass entered.The first wave barely paid her any heed,although several of the liberals, including DottyHammell, Pauline Gascoigne, Stephanie Powell andJane Lummell threw her sympathetic smiles. The lastof the Brass to enter were the Wart and Patty Hodge.They strode purposefully towards her.“Oh you’re going to make Ms Lawton’s day,”gloated the Wart. “I hope she thrashes you so hardyou can’t sit down for a week.”Deborah did her best not to flinch.Patty grinned wolfishly and reached into herjacket pocket. She produced a red card and waved itin the air.“Morton, Phase 5, red card for zero-tolerancecollar and tie abuse,” she announced gleefully. “Make

67an appointment with Miss Beck for a mandatoryslippering.”Deborah felt her cheeks turn red.Deborah Morton was sweating. The pasttwenty minutes had been most disagreeable. WhenMs Lawton had arrived in the assembly hall she wasplainly displeased to encounter Deborah and hadmade her feelings quite clear. She had verballytrashed Debs for several minutes before dismissingher with the ominous warning that she intended tobeat her very, very soundly.Katie Beck had been delighted to see Deborah.The unfortunate state of Debs collar and tie gave theunit’s matron the opportunity to subject her to acomprehensive clobber inspection.Deborah was notoriously clobber challengedand was consistently ranked amongst the five worstdressed inmates at the facility.Katie took her time. Deborah stood with herhands on her head as the matron inspected everystitch of her clobber. Katie was a true artiste when itcame to inspection. She started at the front, workingher way down every individual button, looking forchips, loose threads or signs of prematurediscoloration. She checked every seam of Deborah’sblouse and skirt. All the while she gave Debs acolorful commentary regarding the rump roasting sheplanned to give her the following morning.Moving to the rear Katie was even morespiteful. She tut-tutted as she ran her fingers overmore seams and muttered, “well, well and what havewe here?” It was most disconcerting.

Operation Scorched ArseBottom inspection was no better. Katie leftDebs sprawled bare arsed across the desk in theante-room for a full five minutes before she came into prod and pinch her backside.Finally Deborah was left to stand on thelanding, her hands on her head and her nose pressedto the wall while she waited anxiously for the arrivalof the Grand Dame. Deborah Morton couldn’t think ofa more disagreeable way to start the day.

18A Ration of Tongue PieDeborah Morton was sweating. Ms Lawton wasan extremely articulate woman by nature and was ather most expressive when it came to the subject ofmalfeasance. Unfortunately for Deborah her lengthyhistory of mega-minxdom gave the Grand Damecopious scope to wax eloquent. Forced to stand tostiff attention, eyes front and still as a statue Deborahhad no alternative but to chow down on anunappetizing ration of tongue pie.Deborah unfastened the top button of her redand black striped blazer and shrugged it off. She felttotally drained. She felt as if she had been mauled bya mountain lion. The eloquent condemnation of hergeneral misbehavior had seemed interminable andDeborah was almost relieved when Ms Lawton finallystepped out from behind her desk and crossed theroom to the tall-boy that housed her collection ofcanes. But the Grand Dame hadn’t quite finished.Deborah groaned inwardly as she was unexpectedlysucker-punched.

Operation Scorched Arse“And one more thing, Morton,” announced MsLawton as she selected a long thin cane and swishedit through the air. “I’m about sick of your persistentcollar and tie abuse. I’m going to instruct Katie togive you a double slippering in the morning. Nowremove your blazer and bend over the chair.”Deborah thrust her hands into the pockets ofher blazer as she tottered out of the Grand Damesstudy. There was no question that Ms Lawton hadmade good on her promise and beaten Deborah very,very soundly. Debs felt as if smoke was billowing outfrom underneath her skirt. Over the years Deborah’srear end had become a well-calibrated whopometerbut she didn’t need to inspect any gauges to knowthat she had just been totally nailed.Ms Lawton took several deep breathes.Deborah was folded over the straight-backed chair infront of the fireplace. The skirt of her skirt and the tailof her blouse were meticulously folded back. Her navyblue gossamer bumbags were concertinaed aroundher ankles.The Grand Dame took a tight grip on thethirty-six inch long cane and tapped it downwards.Ms Lawton prided herself on her evenhandedness.She came from the school of hardwhopsand knew from bitter experience what it waslike to be personally targeted. During the first fouryears of Deborah’s sentence she had beensympathetic towards her celebrity inmate. She hadsuspected that Deborah’s spectacular arrest andsubsequent trashing in the press had been

71government vehicles to distract attention from yetanother economic folly.She had admired Deborah’s intellect, musicalprowess and sporting brilliance. Despite Deborah’snatural tendency towards naughtiness the GrandDame had indulged her and treated her as the goldengal. However, all that had changed in one trivialmoment of collar and tie abuse and the events thatsucceeded it. No matter how hard she tried the GrandDame was forced to concede that Deborah Mortonhad made a dizzying descent to the role of herpersonal bête noire.She raised her arm slightly higher than normaland whipped the rattan rod through the air.Deborah was having considerable difficultyputting it up and keeping it up. Ms Lawton alwayscaned hard but this morning she was really puttingher arm into it and every full-bloodied swipe madeDebs teeth-chatter and her nerve-endings jangle. Ittook all her grit and determination to keep fromhowling.Despite their differences Ms Lawton hadconsiderable respect for Deborah’s ability to take alicking with the minimum of fuss. She waited patientlybetween strokes, confident that Deborah wouldeventually settle back into the required position forthe thrashing to proceed. Nonetheless, she could tellfrom the protracted wiggling and jiggling of Deborah’sbuttocks and the heartfelt pants she could hear hervictim emitting that she had thoroughly nailed DebsMorton.

Operation Scorched ArseDebs wriggled through the corridors, her arseon fire. It was Saturday morning and she needed togo to her study and pick up her clarinet for orchestrapractice.She crossed the quadrangle and making surethat there were no prefects lurking about she slippedbehind the accommodation wing and sought outRosemary’s cigarette stash pile. Debs didn’t reallysmoke, just one or two a week when she was feelingstressed and with her bum blazing like a furnace shewas feeling particularly stressed.She sucked down on the fag and looked downat her watch. The visit with Ms Lawton had been soprotracted that she had missed almost half thepractice. Nonetheless she wasn’t too concerned. Thepiece that Ms Whitton had chosen for the recital wasfamiliar and the last two rehearsals had goneswimmingly. She stubbed out her fag and flicked itinto a nearby compost heap.She headed back to the front door of theaccommodation wing to fetch her clarinet and wishedthat her arse didn’t burn so ferociously.

19Extreme Prejudice“I’m sorry I’m late Ma’am,” Deborah mutteredand hurried towards the empty seat amongst theorchestra.“Where do you think you’re going?” snappedMs Whitton.“To take my place Ma’am,” responded Debs.“Oh no you don’t young lady, you will repair tothe music room and bring me the Morton Special”said the Music Dame.Deborah gaped at the instructor incredulously.“Whadaya mean?” she spluttered.“You’re late,” said Ms Whitton imperiously.“Mandatory six of the best.”Debs continued to gape. “But you know whyI’m late,” she gasped. “I was in the Grand Dame’sstudy.”“That’s no excuse, this whole rehearsal hasbeen a fiasco due to your selfish behavior,” retortedMs Whitton, “now do as you’re told and bring me mybow.”

Operation Scorched Arse“This is ridiculous,” Debs snapped back.“You’re not going to beat me for this.”“Are you refusing to obey me?” asked MsWhitton.“You’re damn right I am,” said Debsobstinately.“Very well Morton, I shall send someone elseto fetch the bow and in the meantime I shallsummons Jacqueline Ivanhoe and Yvonne Godfreyand I will have you held down.”The tension in the Great Hall was palpable.“You rotten fucking bitch,” Debs blurted out.“This is so fucking bogus.”“I’ll count to five Miss Morton, it’s your choice.”Deborah trudged through the corridorscarrying the wooden violin bow that Ms Whitton hadcommissioned for the sole purpose of beating her.Her mind was racing; the heat in her backside wasshowing no signs of diminishing. The prospect ofbeing thrashed with the customized rod wasunthinkable.Deborah desperately fought back her tears.The pain was excruciating. She was sprawled outacross a low lying piano stool, her arms and legsstretched out into a full drape, her head well downand her arse well up. She sensed the Music Damestepping in for the final swipe and squeezed her eyestight.Ms Whitton was a burly cove and wasnotorious for the venom with which she wielded theviolin bow. When she commissioned the particularbow that she was wielding from a purveyor in

75Southern Brazil she had specified an unusual stiffnessfor the shaft, explaining that it was for displaypurposes only. It was a truly lethal weapon.Deborah’s whole body reacted uncontrollably.Her legs kicked back, her hands gripped her head andshe writhed so much that she almost rolled off thestool. It was a tremendous strike. The echo of woodrebounding off tautened gossamer reverberatedaround the far corners of the hall.Debs looked ashen as she handed over herpersonal punishment record book for post-processing.The collar and tie that she had restored to a nonabusivecondition was now skew-whiff. Her hairlooked unkempt and the light trace of mascara shewas allowed to wear was smudged across her face.Wordlessly Ms Whitton annotated the book andthen without warning she pointed back at the stool.“Now bend over again,” she said curtly.Debs mouth opened and her chin wagged butno sounds came out.“You cussed me out,” snapped Ms Whitton,“now bend over or I shall have you collared and takenup to the Grand Dames and demand you are given apublic flogging.”Deborah Morton gaped at the music instructor.For a moment she said nothing and remained gluedto the spot. Then finally she glared defiantly at MsWhitton. “You’ll never make me howl and you’ll nevermake me blub,” she said rebelliously and thenhopelessly she leaned down and stretched her bodyout across the stool.

Operation Scorched ArseMs Lawton removed the cap of her pen andwearily signed her name at the bottom of the twopunishment reports. Ms Whitton was lookingpositively smug as she strutted out of the door. TheGrand Dame sighed and put her head in her hands.“Extreme prejudice,” chortled Ms Whitton inthe saloon bar of the Bunch of Grapes. “I redefinedextreme. Morton won’t be sitting down comfortablyfor a month.”“Good work,” saluted Patty Hodge. She raisedher glass in the air. “To Operation Scorched Arse andmay it never end.”Katie Beck, the Wart and Ms Whitton chinkedglasses and winked conspiratorially.

20Extreme MaliceSusan Lawton sipped a gin and tonic andconsidered her position. She would celebrate herfiftieth birthday during the next summer furloughalthough she took good care of herself and shelooked ten years younger. She had been marriedonce, to a military intelligence officer who had beengunned down while on a security detail in CentralAmerica. She had dated occasionally but never foundanybody to her taste.She was not without means. She would qualifyfor two military pensions. During her thirty plus yearsof public service she had pre-dominantly lived onexpense accounts and had saved the bulk of hersalary. When her parents had passed on she hadinherited a substantial home, free of the burden ofmortgage, and a healthy portfolio of stocks, sharesand bearer bonds.For the most part the Grand Dame believedthat her ten-year tenure at the helm of the WoodyBack to School unit had been a comprehensive

Operation Scorched Arsesuccess. She believed she had far exceeded theexpectations of the Ministry of Extreme SocialRehabilitation when they had first opened the facility.Over a hundred of the nations most notoriousLadettes had been successfully rehabilitated intosociety, either finding worthwhile employment orentering universities as mature students.She studied the two punishment reports andthe ‘Eyes Only’ memorandum she had issued,declaring Deborah as the unit’s Public Enemy NumberOne. She had intended to make life tough for Debs;to make an example of her for her belligerentbehavior and her thoughtless attempt at revenge forbeing spanked. It had seemed a perfectly reasonableresponse. However, she had strongly emphasized tothe Brass and the Elite that whilst Deborah was thesubject of Hostile Targeting all beatings must be onehundred per cent legitimate.Ms Whitton had been thorough. The reportswere flawless; each cited the articles of the rules andregulations that justified the beatings. They alsoincluded a damning reference from her ownmemorandum that stated that, ‘Morton should betreated with Extreme Prejudice at all times. All rules,regulations and protocols are to be strictly enforced.Infractions however minor should be treated withzero-tolerance and she should be punished to themaximum allowable extent.’Ms Lawton couldn’t deny that Ms Whitton hadfollowed her instructions to the letter, although shesuspected that the Music Dame had acted out ofextreme malice rather than extreme prejudice. Thefirst beating would have been controversial under any

79circumstances, but the second bordered on abuse ofprivilege.The Grand Dame refreshed her glass. She feltweary. For ten years she had struggled to maintainthe fine balance between the strict disciplinaryrequirements of the Extreme Social Rehabilitationprogram and the judicious use of discipline.It had never been easy. Out of necessity shehad recruited some of the nation’s most notoriousdisciplinarians to impose the harsh requirement of theSocial Rehabilitation program.The Grand Dame was not naïve. She was fullyaware that Patty had surrounded herself withsupporters and had been preaching the virtues of azero-tolerance policy long before Susan had imposedOperation Scorched Arse.She had always carefully monitored Patty’sactivities. She knew from bitter and painful personnelexperience that Patty was capable of embarking on acampaign of tyranny given half an opportunitySusan sighed and stared down at thepunishment reports lying on the table before her. Shewas wracked with guilt. What had started as a wellintentionedcampaign to restore a semblance of orderamongst the community had misguidedly suppliedPatty and her cohorts with an ideal opportunity toembark upon a wave of tyranny.She was beginning to acknowledge thatOperation Scorched Arse may have been a tragic andunforgivable mistake.Perhaps it was time to move on, she wonderedto herself. She poured herself another stiff drink and

Operation Scorched Arsewas about to return to her seat when there was aknock on the door.“I’m here to be caned,” Cathryn Cassidyinformed her in an indifferent drawl.

21Miss Cathryn CassidyCathryn was dressed in her prefect’s garb ofblock red blazer with black piping around the border,white blouse, red tie and a dark pleated skirt. Shewore a boater on her head at a jaunty angle.“What is it this time Cassidy?” asked MsLawton.“Curfew violation apparently,” drawled Cat witha nonchalant shrug. “Patty says I didn’t fill out somenew fangled paperwork so she sent me up forwhops.”“That is Ms Hodge to you, Cassidy,” said theGrand Dame.“Oh yeah, well whatever,” said Catindifferently.Ms Lawton twitched her nose suspiciously.“Have you been drinking, Cassidy?” she asked.“Naw, well yeah, but not drinking exactly, Ihad a couple of glasses of white wine, nothingserious. What are you going to do? Flog me?” saidCat in the same unconcerned drawl.

Operation Scorched Arse“I will certainly be considering that option,”snapped the Grand Dame.Cathryn rolled her eyes.Ms Lawton scowled at the prefect. “Raise yourskirt,” she said curtly.“Oh good grief,” said Cat. She reached underher skirt and extracted a packet of Marlboro Lightsfrom the elastic waistband of her bumbags. “Arethese what you’re looking for?” she asked and tossedthem on the desk.“Your attitude is not helping you,” said MsLawton. “You still have the remainder of the yearbefore you complete the program and I can still flunkyou. You know that alcohol and cigarettes areforbidden but you continue to flaunt the rules.”“Look Ma’am,” said Cat. “I’m a prefect; I wasout in town on a legitimate pass. I had a couple ofscoops and I would have stashed the fags when I gotback. If Patty, oops, Ms Hodge, hadn’t introducedsome new and unannounced protocol then nobodywould be any the wiser.”Ms Lawton sighed. She always found dealingwith Cathryn most disconcerting. During her years inMilitary Intelligence she had been trained tointerrogate terrorists and enemies of the state. Shewas considered a master practitioner of the craft.However, in the nearly seven years that she had beenresponsible for overseeing Cathryn’s socialrehabilitation she had never managed to satisfactorilypenetrate Cat’s inner psyche.It was not that Cathryn was devious ordisingenuous. In fact quite the opposite, she wasstartling forthright and straight-forward. She wasn’trude or arrogant or even willfully disobedient. She

83merely seemed to have a total disregard for rules orconvention and seemed quite content to suffer anyconsequences that might arise.The Grand Dame wasn’t naïve. She was awarethat the inmates had stashes of booze and cigarettessecreted all over the facility. She occasionallyinstituted searches but the grounds were simply toolarge to police adequately. She had nothing inprinciple against drinking or smoking but had found inthe early years of the unit’s history a policy ofmoderation was impossible to enforce so she hadimplemented a total prohibition.Ms Lawton looked over at Cathryn. In manyways the prefect was at the very heart of herproblem. It was Cat after all who had authored thesubversive manifesto of mega-minxdom and hadrallied the inmates into the irksome cult. Nonetheless,the Grand Dame had considerable respect forCathryn. She had got her hands on a bootleg copy ofthe doctrine and had been impressed by its witty andsophisticated articulation. She was also aware ofPatty’s deep dislike for Cat.“What new fangled paperwork?” asked MsLawton.Cathryn shrugged. “I dunno,” she drawled. “Ihanded in my pass when I came back to the facilityand then I got a summons. Patty, oh shit, Ms Hodge,told me that my paperwork was invalid and sent meover to see you, so here I am.”Ms Lawton leaned back in her chairthoughtfully. “Alright Cassidy,” she said finally,

Operation Scorched Arse“Please step out onto the landing and assume theposition. I’d like to look into this a little further.”Ms Lawton studied the two forms. “I mustconfess, I’m not sure I see the difference, Patricia,”she told her deputy. “I mean they are laid out a littledifferently but they seem to contain the sameinformation.”Patty narrowed her eyes. “As a member of theElite Cassidy is supposed to keep abreast of all of therules, regulations and protocols,” she snapped. “If shewas doing her job properly she would know whichform is currently in use. This is a typical example ofher irresponsible attitude to her responsibilities as aprefect.”“But Ms Hammell signed the town pass,”observed the Grand Dame. “That at least lends itsome legitimacy.”“Dotty Hammell is a damned liberal,” snortedPatty.“Alright Patty leave it with me and sendCassidy in on your way out,” sighed Susan Lawton.

22An Epic Scolding“She’s losing her nerve,” scoffed Patty in thesaloon Bar of the Bunch of Grapes. “She let thatdegenerate Cassidy off Scot-free. It’s a disgrace.”Patty had assembled her cohorts for a Councilof War.Katie snorted contemptuously. “She rejectedseveral of my amendments to the Politics of Clobber,”she complained.“Do you think she’s reconsidering OperationScorched Arse?” wailed the Wart.Patty shook her head firmly. “She’s tooinvested now. If she shows the slightest sign ofweakness pandemonium will ensue. She’ll never letthat happen.”Susan Lawton slid into bed. Her decision torelease Cathryn without punishment had helped toassuage her feeling of guilt. Nonetheless she still haddifficulty sleeping and eventually resorted to pouringherself a stiff brandy. She closed her eyes and did herbest to put the complexities of Operation Scorched

Operation Scorched ArseArse out of her mind as she drifted into the land ofnod.Any inclinations Ms Lawton may have harboredof moving towards a position of détente wereimmediately dispelled when she entered the assemblyhall on Monday morning and found Deborah Mortonstanding in the familiar pose of disgrace for thesecond time in the space of three days.Deborah’s chums were transfixed as theywatched the drama unfold. When the Grand Damefirst observed Deborah her expression changedmomentarily to one of open-mouthed incredulity. Asshe took the ten steps between the doors of the halland the spot where Deborah was waiting her featuresquickly rearranged themselves into undisguisedvexation.Deborah was visibly anxious. Her mouthtwitched and her eyes darted nervously as the GrandDame approached. At first Ms Lawton seemed at aloss for words. She fixed Deborah with a gimlet gaze.Debs gamely tried to return the Grand Dames stare.There was a brief and ominous silence in thehall as the two women stared at each other, but itwas just a lull before the storm.It did not take long for Ms Lawton to find hervoice. She leaned her face in close to Deborah andunleashed her tongue. Every inmate in the hall hadexperienced a scolding from Ms Lawton at one timeor another but thankfully they were generallydelivered in the privacy of her study.The Grand Dame didn’t raise her voice,choosing instead to use a tone so icy that it sent

87shivers down the spines of the watching inmates.Deborah recoiled under the verbal assault.It was a scolding on an epic scale. It was thegeneral consensus amongst the inmates that theGrand Dame stayed up late at nights poring overancient tomes and lexicons searching for newvariations of the word malfeasance. She seemedintent on demonstrating the full extent of hervocabulary as she publicly denounced Deborah.Debs did her best not to flinch under thescathing attack but she could feel her cheeks turningbright red and she was having increasing difficultymeeting the Grand Dames eye.Deborah trudged out of the hall. This morningspublic scolding had made the one she had receivedtwo days earlier seem like a cozy chat over tea andcrumpets. She felt mentally and physically drained asshe dispiritedly made her way through the corridors.The past forty-eight hours had not been kindto Deborah Morton’s rear end. Her nailing by theGrand Dame and the heinous double beating by MsWhitton had been excruciating. The following morningshe had been forced to pitch up at Katie’s to beslippered for collar and tie abuse. The unit matronhad taken great relish in putting Debs over her kneeand had spanked her so hard it had brought tears toDeborah’s eyes.Deborah had been forced to spend most of theweekend standing up. As she cut through thecorridors it occurred to Debs that if the Grand Damedecided to lay it on as thick as she had on Saturdaymorning she was in for a very disagreeableexperience. Deborah Morton was not faint of heart

Operation Scorched Arsebut the thought of the impending six of the best senta shiver up her spine.Katie was delighted to see Deborah. Shesensed that Debs was not her usual cocksure self andadded to her misery with some disparaging remarksof her own.When she sent Deborah into the ante-room tobend over the desk she left Debs butt-naked for a fullten minutes before going into inspect her.Deborah pressed her nose against the wall andplaced her hands on top of her head. Her heartpounded uncomfortably under her crisp white blouseand she felt a line of perspiration forming on her browas she waited to be caned.

23A Poor Beleaguered BumStanding gloomily on the landing with Katiewatching her like a hawk Debs had little else to dobut ruminate on her latest disaster.It had been a classic Debs moment. Onemoment she was sitting calmly in the assembly hallwaiting for the arrival of the Brass, the next momentshe inexplicably reached her leg out and slid thesatchel of the gal seated in front of her along thefloor and out of reach, forcing her to scramble toretrieve it. It was a totally mindless action that wasn’teven particularly funny and was totally lacking inguile.Nonetheless Deborah felt a momentary jag ofexhilaration, a strange and satisfying buzz. It wasshort-lived. Almost immediately she came back to hersenses with a crash. Anxiously she had turned herhead and looked towards the end of the row of seats.She watched as Janet Mitchell theatrically reachedinto the pocket of her blazer and extracted her redcard.

Operation Scorched ArseDeborah had no explanation for her action. Shehad not planned it and had not even been aware thatshe was doing it until it was too late. It was aproblem that had plagued her for a decade and a halfand had been the primary reason why she seemed topermanently wear red stripes across her bum.However, Debs doubted that Ms Lawton would besympathetic to the explanation that she wasn’t reallyresponsible for her actions and that she had beenmomentarily overwhelmed by an inner devil that tookcontrol.Deborah’s assessment of Ms Lawton’ssympathy level was proving unerringly correct. In theGrand Dame’s opinion Deborah’s ridiculous prank wasjust another example of her lack of self-control.Wisely Debs elected not to introduce the notion ofother-worldly influences into the proceedings. TheGrand Dame was clearly not in the mood for listening.Much to Deborah’s dismay Ms Lawton was inthe mood for spanking. The Grand Dame had orderedher to remove her blazer then taken her by the wristand led her across to a convenient chair.Head down and arse up over Ms Lawton’s kneeDeborah Morton was beginning to sweat. The handspankingof an inmate as advanced in her socialrehabilitation program as Deborah was extremelyrare. Generally they were limited to acting asprecursors to public floggings. However, Deborah gotthe impression that this was a purely private matterand Ms Lawton’s way of reinforcing to Deborah thatshe was firmly ensconced as number one on her shitlist.

91Ms Lawton was using a blitz and wait tactic.She had Deborah tucked tightly into the crease of herlap, bent like a bow with her head well down and herarse well up. Periodically the Grand Dame woulddeliver a barrage of hearty spanks and then leave anuncomfortably long time to allow the results to sink inthoroughly.Debs hung upside down panting. Ms Lawtonwas a slender elegant woman but the palm of herright hand was unexpectedly potent. The flesh ofDeborah’s backside was soon painted a vivid crimsonas the Grand Dame worked up one side and backdown the other.The intermissions were most disconcerting.Debs had no idea when the next bevy of spankswould arrive. Bent so far over she was helpless tolook back, her nose was only inches from the Brazilianredwood floor of the Grand Dame’s study. She wascompletely at Ms Lawton’s mercy.Deborah looked nervously at the long thin canethat Ms Lawton was flexing between her hands. Theprospect of the whippy rattan rod lashing across herwell spanked rear end would have been unappealingat any time but the Grand Dame had just deliveredsome devastating news.“Your behavior this term has been deplorable,”Ms Lawton had informed her. “On Saturday morning Igave you six of the very best and I assumed thatwould be enough to deter you from continuing on thisfoolish bout of reckless behavior. Clearly it had noeffect whatsoever.”

Operation Scorched ArseDeborah looked at the Grand Dame bleakly.She did not like the direction that this conversationwas going.“I am determined to rehabilitate yousuccessfully and am willing to take whatevermeasures that requires,” continued Ms Lawton, “nowgo and bend over the chair. I intend to give youtwelve strokes and that will remain your punishmenton any future visits to this office until you cansatisfactorily demonstrate that there is a marked andconsistent improvement in your behavior.”Deborah continued to stare at the Grand Damebleakly. She wondered whether it was an appropriatetime to introduce her little devil theory into theproceedings.

24The Woody MantraDeborah Morton plucked up her courage andbent forward at the waist. She placed her hands onthe front edge of the seat of the straight backed chairand then reached down and gripped the crossbar,one hand at a time. She was feeling quite bilious.“I would strongly suggest that you spend theChristmas furlough reconsidering your behavior,” theGrand Dame had informed her as she extracted along thin cane from the tallboy. “There are not manynails left to bang into your coffin. Now go over thereand bend over the chair.”Deborah just groaned.Twelve strokes of the cane delivered across awell-spanked bottom is nothing to be sniffed at. Debsprided herself that no matter how difficultcircumstances became in her rear end that she wouldnever howl and never blub. Bent over the chair withher scarlet backside totally defenseless she reckonedshe was faced with a daunting task.

Operation Scorched ArseMs Lawton swung the cane with lethalprecision. Despite her state of extreme irritation theGrand Dame was a consummately professionalmartinet. As a graduate from the school of hardwhops Susan Lawton understood the intricatemechanics of a high-performance licking. Every strokewas delivered cleanly across the sweet spot ofDeborah’s backside in a tight formation. Ms Lawtonwas determined that Deborah would suffer nothingworse than a very hot bottom.Debs gritted her teeth. Each explosive swipe ofthe thirty-six inch senior cane was excruciating, butshe was in the zone. “It’s only whops,” she repeatedover and over in her head. The popular Woodymantra helped her to stay focused and not howl orblub or make a muff of herself.The ‘its only whops’ mantra originated withDeborah’s best chum Rosemary Booker. Rosemaryhad entered the Woody Back to School unit sporting avirgin arse; she had never been spanked in her life,let alone caned. However, following her introductionto being whapped with a whippy stick her reactionbecame a Woody legend.“I can’t see what all the fuss is about,” she toldher chums. “After all it was only whops.”Debs knew the form. After each stroke shewriggled and jiggled her body in agitation as theimpact of the wicked stick traversed her centralnervous system. Despite her discomfort she wouldregroup and slowly reposition her upturned derrierefor the next nerve jangling, teeth chattering strike.

95Debs tottered out of the study like a drunkensailor on shore leave. She kept her fists balled in herblazer pockets to avoid the temptation of rubbing.According to the protocols she was required toproceed directly to the lecture room but she decidedto risk making a brief detour to a nearby bathroom.She stared at herself in the mirror. She lookeddisheveled. During spanking the knot of her tie hadslipped down and her blouse looked crumpled. Herface was ashen and her hair needed brushing.She reached under her skirt and very gentlyrolled down her bumbags. She winced as she peeledthe material off the throbbing weals. She raised herskirt and inspected her backside in the mirror. It wasa mess. Ms Lawton had been extremely thorough.She had not missed a centimeter of Deborah’s bumduring the spanking and the flesh was still pulsating.The center of her buttocks were covered with thin redstripes in a very tight formation. The last stroke hadcut across the existing stripes. She winced as she ranher fingers along the weals.She found a paper towel and doused it withcold water. She pressed it against her poorbeleaguered bum. After a few minutes she driedherself off and replaced her bumbags.She washed her face and brushed her hair.She straightened her tie and picked up her satchel.With considerable lack of enthusiasm at the prospectof having to plonk her wounded arse on a hardwooden chair seat she wriggled off towards thelecture rooms.At every opportunity Deborah’s chums ralliedaround to comfort and console her. Debs’ recent trials

Operation Scorched Arseand tribulations had been the hot topic on thegossvine. They praised her for her courage andfortitude and assured her that nothing would divertthem from the campaign of mischief and mayhem.Debs did her best to be gracious; it was thecamaraderie of the inmates that made incarcerationat the nations most austere Back to School unitbearable. Nonetheless, Deborah Morton just wishedthat her arse didn’t throb so badly.“Come on, Debs,” Rosemary said cheerfully. “Itwas only whops,” as she spread Deborah out acrossher lap and began to rub one of her mystical balmsinto the steamy weals.“Yeah, rock on Rosie,” groaned Debs, “youknow what sister? Sometimes I think that you’refucking barking!”“Woof! Woof!” giggled Rosie and continued tomassage the soothing aloe-based creams into theswollen stripes.“We’re back full steam ahead,” gloated Patty.“I told you that there was nothing to fret about. Shesigned off all the amendments to the protocolsincluding the Politics of Clobber stuff that she rejectedbefore.”Katie, the Wart and Ms Whitton beamedgleefully and chugged back tequila slammers. Pattyordered a bottle of bubbles and put it on Katie’s tab.“Bottoms up,” she toasted, “here’s toOperation Scorched Arse.”

25JojoDeborah wasn’t the only one experiencing hotand sweaty times. In fact despite her recent spate ofbottom poundings Debs was not even ranked as theterms number one on the Hall of Shame. As usualthat honor fell to the unit’s most incorrigible megaminx,Joanna Heyworth. Jojo was beautiful, vivaciousand very, very naughty. Jojo japed and larked andpranked and rubbished the pre’s relentlessly. She wasfearless and her fellow inmates considered her to bethe embodiment of the spirit of mega-minxdom.Jojo was standing outside the door of thelibrary with her hands on her head. She was waitingto be dangled.In some ways Joanna was an unlikelycandidate to hold the rank of All-Time Big BUTT.When she arrived at the facility she was sporting avirgin arse. Neither her parents nor the school shehad attended had practiced corporal punishment.Nonetheless this state of affairs was soon rectifiedand she was the first of the new entrants to be

Operation Scorched Arsespanked. Jojo took it in her stride and later she wouldbecome the first Little Brat in the unit’s history to becaned.Jojo had a natural flair for minxing. She foundherself in good company. Along with her best chumNicola Jane Nixon, Rosemary Booker and Debs werealso starting their sentences. It was a magical timefor minxes and a recipe for mischief and mayhem.Jojo and her chums quickly gained respect from theveteran mega-minxes and were dubbed the FamousFour.The Big BUTT was hotting up and competitionwas fierce. Jojo threw her bumbags into the ring withwild abandon. Every year she established new recordson the Hall of Shame including becoming the firstinmate to score the elusive Bull when she was canedover fifty times during the fourth year of hersentence.Operation Scorched Arse was provingpredictably hot and sweaty for Joanna. Once theprogram had been announced she had defiantlydeclared that “I’m going to get whopped anyway, so Imight as well get whopped for having fun.”Jojo’s idea of fun and the prefect’s idea of fundid not always coincide. The prefects and mostparticularly Yvonne Godfrey and her SS cohorts tookconsiderable umbrage to being royally rubbished bythe petite redhead. They brought her to the libraryand thrashed her frequently and they routinely addedred marks on the card bearing her name on the cardindex system in the prefect’s common room.

99Penelope Ann Evans was changing out of herriding togs when her personal grubby, JenniferGardiner, stopped by.“Jojo’s outside the library waiting to bedangled,” she informed the Red-shirt.Penny Ann frowned. “Who gave you theenvelope?” she asked.“Mitchell, Ma’am,” Jen told her.Penny Ann continued to frown. She wasn’tsurprised. This was the fourth time she would beforced to dangle Jojo in the space of thirteen weeks.Invariably the critical fifth red mark was awarded by amember of the SS.“Thank you, Jennifer, you can cut along now,”Pen grunted.Penelope Ann pulled her red-shirt off a hangerand shrugged it on, buttoning the front quickly. Shehad come to hate her job. Jojo and Pen had beenchums years before they were sent to the Big House.They were both internationally famous equestriansand had ridden together on the national team. Theprospect of having to dangle her chum again wasvery unappealing.Earlier in the week Penny Ann had madeanother vain attempt to lodge an official complaintagainst the SS but as usual she was thwarted byPatty Hodge.“I have reviewed every thrashing reporttendered by the members of the Elite against whomyou are making these scurrilous accusations,” Pattyhad retorted imperiously, “and frankly I am reachingthe end of my tether with you. I am considering filingan application to have you stood down and replaced

Operation Scorched Arseby a more appropriate candidate such as YvonneGodfrey.”Penny Ann had done her best to stand herground but she was lambasted in a most disagreeablemanner.Penelope Ann had even tried to make a covertappointment with the Grand Dame but Katie Beck hadstone-walled her. Within an hour she was summonsedback to the Deputy Grand Dame’s study for anothertongue lashing. It was not a good time to be a liberalRed-shirt.

26The Fine Art of DanglingJojo followed Penelope Ann into the library.She knew the form; she strode down the room to thefar end. She peeled off her blazer and folded it neatly,and then went over and picked up the spanking stooland placed in front of the over-sized fireplace.Behind her Penny Ann was removing her ownblazer and rolling up the sleeves of her red blouse.She loosened her tie and unfastened her top button.She reached under her blouse and retrieved the keyshe wore around her neck. She crossed to a sidetable and unlocked a drawer. The Red-shirt extracteda long handled, oval-headed, wood-backed hairbrush.Penelope Ann sat up on the tall spanking stoolwith Jojo standing to her right hand side. Once Penwas in position Joanna offered her wrist so that shecould be helped over and up.When Katie Beck had first spotted the tall stoolin a local antique store she had been immediatelyimpressed with its possibilities. The stool was taller

Operation Scorched Arsethan a normal bar-stool and the crossbars weredesigned diagonally beneath the seat.Katie was already celebrating her latestsuccess. She had recently persuaded Ms Lawton toallow her to replace the traditional ashplant wieldedby the Red-shirt’s with the more lethally punishinghairbrush. The transition was not popular amongstthe inmates; particularly as they were forced tospread-eagle themselves across Katie’s lap while theywere being spanked. Her eyes lit up when she sawthe stool and she immediately got out her chequebook.“I was fucking dangling,” Claire Brooks hadcomplained to her chums after the officialinauguration of the spanking stool into Woodyworld.“I couldn’t touch the ground on either side and I hadnothing to hold onto.”Penelope Ann neatly folded back Joanna’s skirtand the tail of her blouse before rolling down herbumbags. She looped her left arm around Jojo’s waistand made sure she was tucked in firmly. The Redshirtslowly circled the wooden oval head of thehairbrush across the naked flesh of Joanna’s rightbuttock.“I’m going to need you to put it up and keep itup,” she said.Jojo just grunted.Penelope Ann Evans raised the brush abouteighteen inches above Jojo’s defenseless flesh andbrought it down with a loud crack.

103A truly fine dangling needs to be deliveredlong, slow and juicy. Despite her distaste at having topunish Jojo Penny Ann had her reputation toconsider. Every year the Red-shirt’s vied for gainingthe status of being the hottest spanker ever. Pen wasalready getting rave reviews from the whop-hardenedmega-minxes and had no intention of letting the smallmatter of friendship get in her way.Jojo didn’t expect any slack. She fullyunderstood that Penelope Ann was merely doing herduty. She settled in and focused on getting into thezone. The first time Penny Ann had dangled her Jojohad been at a disadvantage. Unbeknownst to JoannaMs Lawton had amended the protocols and decreedthat inmates in Phase 5, or above, of their sentenceswould be subjected to a full twelve spanks of thebrush. Jojo had been caught by surprise when aseventh spank had arrived and had been nailed forthe first time in her illustrious career. She had nointention of that happening again.Penny Ann was being thorough. She slowlyworked up one side of Jojo’s bum and back down theother. The oval headed brush that Katie Beck hadselected was perfectly designed to redden everysquare centimeter of the sweet spot in six easyspanks. The Woody connoisseurs were of a collectivemind that this level of bum burning was quite ampleand that an additional six spanks was completelyunnecessary in furthering their goals of socialrehabilitation.

Operation Scorched ArseA perfectly timed twelve stroke dangling takesprecisely three minutes to execute. This may notsound like a long time but for the victim dangled headdown, arse up, with their arms and legs flappinghelplessly it seems like eternity. Even for a veteranlike Jojo the experience was quite taxing. By the timeshe wriggled out of the library Joanna Heyworth wasfeeling decidedly whop-weary.

27Ivan Takes a TumbleOn the day before the unit closed down for theChristmas furlough Lady Victoria Brompton was canedin front of the assembled inmates.Dressed in a crisp white blouse, striped tie andskin-tight whopping bags Victoria strode towards thevaulting horse and fearlessly bent over. The inmateswatched her with considerable admiration.Ms Lawton looked from the disheveled prefectto the defiant looking aristocrat.Jackie Ivanhoe’s left eye was showing signs ofswelling and she was patting her nose with ahandkerchief.“She busted my dose,” spluttered Ivan theTerrible tearfully.Victoria curled her lip contemptuously. “Yournose ain’t busted,” she said scornfully, “if I’d wantedto bust it I would have.”The Grand Dame’s study was crowded withmembers of the SS baying for blood.

Operation Scorched Arse“She assaulted Ivan,” bayed Yvonne. “It wascompletely unprovoked.”“She’s a violent thug,” squealed Mitch theBitch.“She needs to be sacked and put in chokey,”insisted Spanker Spage.“She’s a menace to society,” agreed Undies.“Fawk off the lot of you,” snarled Lady Vix,“before I punch all of your lights out.”“Time out,” snapped Ms Lawton. “Now tell mewhat really happened and I don’t want to hear anyporkies.”Yvonne Godfrey approached Rachel Cox in themiddle of the recreation area and showed her a redcard.“Collar her and bring her to the library,” sheinstructed Jackie Ivanhoe. “Six of the best for unrulybehavior.”Rachel glared at Yvonne. “Don’t be ridiculous,this is totally bogus.”Yvonne shrugged. “Take it up with yourlawyer,” she said off-handedly. “Collar her Ivan andlet’s go get us some whops.”Ivan the Terrible puffed herself up and made agrab for Rachel, intending to spin her around andsecure her in an arm-lock. Rachel dodged out of theway.“Get your hands off me you stupid bitch,” shegrowled.Ivan made a second equally unsuccessfulattempt.“Leave her alone,” said Victoria in an assertivevoice and stepped protectively in front of Rachel.

107“Keep out of this Brompton,” snapped Yvonne,“this is Elite business.”Ivan the Terrible pushed her face intoVictoria’s. “Yeah piss off Brompton before I box yourears,” she hissed. Seconds later she landedunceremoniously on her substantial arse, holding hernose, clutching at her eye and howling like a muff.Lady Victoria Brompton had been taught to boxand wrestle by her four elder brothers on the groundsof the ancestral pile. She had a reputation as apugnacious cove but many of the weaker inmates hadreason to be grateful for the speed with which shewas willing to put up her dukes. Lady VictoriaBrompton could not tolerate bullying and over theyears had regularly come to the rescue of inmateswho were being roughed up by members of the Elite.Ms Lawton did her best to disguise her secretamusement. Ivan the Terrible was still boohooing anddemanding that Lady Victoria was sacked. Ms Lawtonhad some sympathy for Victoria’s intervention onRachel’s behalf. She was well aware that beingcollared was an undignified and ignominiousexperience.Nonetheless, bopping prefects on their snifferswas a serious offense and clearly Victoria needed tobe punished very severely.“Go next door and get yourself prepared for aflogging,” she told Victoria.“A flogging?” wailed Ivan. “You’re letting heroff with a wimpy old flogging? I want her chargedwith assault. She needs to go to chokey.”

Operation Scorched ArseMs Lawton scowled at Jackie Ivanhoe. “While Icannot condone inmates taking the law into their ownhands, I am aware that some of your collaringpractices are barely legitimate. I shall be watchingyou closely in the future Miss Ivanhoe and if I get awhiff of a scent that you are abusing the collaringprotocols you’ll find out just how wimpy a floggingfeels.”Jackie Ivanhoe pouted sourly.

28I’ll Be Watching YouLady Victoria considered a public flogging to bea decent return on investment for the joy she hadreceived from dumping Ivan on her arse. The look ofamazement on the prefect’s face when Victoria hadunleashed a perfect rat-a-tat left-right combinationhad been priceless.Victoria Brompton was no newcomer to beingpublicly flogged. In fact it was one of the few recordsshe held over Jojo.“It’s only whops,” she was fond of saying, “justwhops in front of a few more people.”The inmates watched the proceedings withexpert eyes. They were proud of Victoria and as faras they were concerned she was taking one for theteam. Unusually Ms Lawton didn’t seem to be laying iton too thick. She was swinging her arm at a leisurelypace and seemed to slow down at the last moment.They exchanged knowing glances. For some

Operation Scorched Arseundisclosed reason the Grand Dame appeared to becutting Her Ladyship some slack.“You were pulling the strokes,” complainedPatty. “Brompton pops one of my prefects on thehooter and you cut her slack? What type of messagedo you think that sent to the other inmates?”Ms Lawton narrowed her eyes. “Your prefects,Patricia?” she asked.“You know what I mean,” said Patty. “Imanage the Elite.”“You manage the Elite on my behalf,” said MsLawton pointedly. “Which brings me to the subject ofMiss Godfrey.”It was Patty’s turn to narrow her eyes. “MissGodfrey? What about her?”Yvonne looked uncomfortable. She did not likethe tone of Ms Lawton’s voice.“What exactly was Cox doing that was sounruly?” asked the Grand Dame.“She was causing a disturbance,” mutteredYvonne.“What kind of disturbance?” asked Ms Lawtonpointedly.“She was making a racket and a generalnuisance of herself,” said Yvonne defensively. “We allknow from experience that behavior like that quicklyescalates and the next thing we know we’ve gotpandemonium on our hands.”“Did you show her a yellow card?”“Well no. I decided that whops were the bestcourse of action, so I requested Jackie Ivanhoe to

111collar her and take her to the library,” explainedYvonne. “It was all done within the correct protocols.”“Where is Cox now?”“She’s outside the library,” said Yvonne. “I wason my way to beat her when you summonsed me.”Ms Lawton pressed a button on her telephone.“Katie, send a grubby to the library to tell MissCox that she’s free to go,” she said authoritatively.Yvonne gaped at the Grand Dame. To the bestof her knowledge Ms Lawton had never previouslyintervened and vetoed a prefectorial beating.“Any questions?” asked the Grand Dame.Yvonne Godfrey shook her head. “No, Ma’am’”she muttered.“Good,” said Ms Lawton, “and pleaseremember, Miss Godfrey, that I’ll be watching you.”“Bend over the desk,” Patty instructed YvonneGodfrey.The prefect gaped at Patty. “Are you fuckingkidding me? That’s not funny.”Patty shrugged. “Just bend over; I need tomake an example of you to distract the Grand Dame.She’s sniffing about and not behaving rationally. Wedon’t want her investigating SS business. You made acritical error of judgment and we need to make surethat she sees that you have been punishedappropriately.”Yvonne stared at Patty. “A critical error ofjudgment? Rachel Cox was on your hit-list, I wasfollowing your instructions!” she squealed.“Sometimes Yvonne you just have to take onefor the team, now be a good gal and remove yourblazer and bend over the desk,” said Patty, flexing her

Operation Scorched Arselong, thin wye-tipped cane between her hands. “Don’tworry I’m only going to give you six.”“Oh my only Aunt Sally,” was all that YvonneGodfrey, commandant of the SS, could think of tosay.

29Sacrificial BumbagsYvonne Godfrey was hopping around herstudy, with her hands clutched to the seat of her skirtand was cussing up a storm to her cohorts.“She beat me fucking bandy,” bitched Yvonne.“She’s deranged. She gave me specific instructions totarget Rachel Cox and then she tells me I made acritical error of judgment.”Yvonne’s lieutenants were appropriatelysympathetic. For all her faults Yvonne Godfrey wascertainly not a muff and could take a whopping withthe best of them. However, from the frantic mannerthat she was publicly rubbing her arse theyunderstood that she was experiencing some quiteconsiderable gyp.Even though she had promised Yvonneunlimited protection in her role as Commandant ofthe SS, Patty Hodge felt no compunction whatsoeverabout bending the prefect over her desk andthrashing her with a wye-tipped cane. As far as shewas concerned it was a legitimate political maneuverto placate Ms Lawton.

Operation Scorched ArsePatty sized up her target. She was not going toallow the small matter that they were supposed to beallies to get in the way of delivering a real soundlicking. She placed her feet firmly and raised her armin the air. With a terrific swipe she unleashed hell inYvonne Godfrey’s bumbags.Yvonne was stretched out across Patty’s largeoak desk with her arms dangling over the far side.The wye-tip of the cane swiped down, the tip landingacross the crown of her right buttock and etching herlike a branding iron. The pain was excruciating. Shefelt quite bilious as the tremendous swipe burneddeeper and deeper below her flesh. She clenched herteeth to stop from howling.Patty was enjoying herself. She felt certain thatthe Grand Dame would approve of her decision tothrash Yvonne so she saw no reason not to enjoyherself. She took aim and swung her vicious canewith lethal force.Patty worked over Yvonne’s right buttock first,three deadly swipes, each landing inches apart,designed to create the maximum mischief andmayhem in Godders’ bumbags.Once she was finished with the right cheek,she laid down her cane and poured herself a gin andtonic.“How am I doing?” she asked Yvonne.“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” was all she got as aresponse.

115Patty sipped her gin and tonic. She was in hercomfort zone. She knew that Yvonne would bitch andmoan about being beaten but she’d get over it.Yvonne Godfrey was seething. Her rightbuttock was on fire and although she was notenthusiastic about a similar inferno being ignited inher left cheek the cavalier manner with which Pattywas treating her was reprehensible.Patty grinned to herself. Yvonne was beginningto show signs of considerable agitation. She wastrying to look over her shoulder to work out what hercontroller was doing but it was impossible. Pattyfinished her drink, swiped up the cane, took aim andunleashed a perfect strike in one fluid motion. YvonneGodfrey’s legs scissored in consternation. Patty Hodgecontinued to grin.“I’m sure that you’ll be pleased that I took careof business,” Patty told Ms Lawton. “I whole-heartedlyagreed with you that Yvonne stepped over the linetoday and I felt it best to make an example of her.”Ms Lawton looked at Patty noncommittally.“It’s Christmas, Patricia, and I think we all need awell-deserved break,” she said. “Although we mustremain committed to Operation Scorched Arse I’mhoping that the furlough will allow some of the recentunpleasantnesses to be forgotten and that we canstart the new term in a slightly less hostileatmosphere.”“Absolutely, Susan,” responded Pattyunctuously. “I couldn’t agree more. That’s exactlywhy I deemed it necessary to make an example of

Operation Scorched ArseGodfrey. She’ll spread the word amongst the zealotsthat we’re not going to put up with anymore of theirshenanigans.”Ms Lawton looked at Patty dubiously. It washer opinion that Patty Hodge had merely sacrificedYvonne Godfrey’s bumbags as a pacifier. She verymuch doubted that Patricia Hodge had any intentionof reining in the Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers.“We’ll just have to wait and see,” she saidquietly.

30Cool Arse ChristmasWhen the siren sounded to announce theofficial commencement of the three week Christmasfurlough Debs Morton was packed and ready to go.“What time is your Dad’s chopper scheduled toarrive?” she demanded.Nixdown Nixon just yawned and winked.“Shortly,” she assured Debs.Deborah paced up and down the study that Nixand Jojo shared.“I want to get out of here,” she grumbled.“Just think, three whole weeks with a cool arse.”The parking lot was filled with limos, taxis andthe vehicles of friends and families of the inmates.There were several air-conditioned buses available totake gals to the train station. In the distance thehighly anticipated helicopter approached to take Nix,Jojo, Debs and Rosemary to Nixdown’s parent’sbeachside pad.

Operation Scorched ArseUnder the terms of their sentences the inmateswere allowed three furloughs a year. Their activitieswere monitored by their Court Appointed Guardiansand curfews were strictly imposed.The inmates had learned that the best way toremain under the radar was to avoid the boisterousLadette party scene that had caused them to beincarcerated in the first place and make their ownfun.Despite being banged up together twenty-fourseven for thirty nine weeks of the year the inmatesgenerally elected to spend the majority of thefurloughs in each others company.There was no shortage of private hideawayswhere they could kick back and have fun away fromthe prying eyes of the Dark Agents of the System.Nixdown Nixon’s father made his coastal villawith its private beach available to his daughter. It wasa favorite hideaway for Nix and her chums.Lord Brompton hosted open house at thecastle and the Brompton New Years party was amust-attend event for the mega-minxes.Christopher and Caroline Cassidy’s Mayfairmansion was another popular haunt. Chris Cassidyhosted late-night jam sessions featuring his stable ofstars from his successful jazz label.As usual at intimate dinner parties whops andclobber was the most common subject ofconversation. The inmates dissected the events of thepast thirteen weeks. Undoubtedly the introduction ofOperation Scorched Arse had heralded a new andpainful era at the facility. The whop rate hadescalated and the constant revisions to the rules,

119regulations and protocols had eliminated most of theminor freedoms and privileges that had existedpreviously. Consensus was that things would notimprove in the foreseeable future.“Here’s to cool arse Christmas,” was thecommon toast. “Let’s enjoy it while we can.”Patty Hodge hosted a private party for hercronies on the Radical Right and the five members ofthe SS.She complimented her guests on theirperformance during the past months but informedthem that there ‘was still much work to do.’Patty had worked up detailed plans for evenmore extreme hostile targeting of the Dirty Dozen butwarned her acolytes that, “we must be careful, wedon’t want any repetition of the mistakes you made atthe end of the last term.”Yvonne Godfrey was still seething from thevicious thrashing she had received from Patty anddemanded guarantees of protection of the SS’sbumbags.“I can’t guarantee against your stupidity,”Patty snapped back, “you made a dumb move andyou paid the price. Now put on your big gal bumbagsand get with the program.”Yvonne Godfrey muttered darkly.Ms Lawton spent the Christmas furloughstruggling with a crisis of conscience. She pored overthe punishment statistics. Even when she took intoaccount a small percentage of punishments that hadresulted from over-zealous interpretations of hostile

Operation Scorched Arsetargeting and extreme prejudice the continuing rise ofmega-minxdom was indisputable.It was not just the whop rate of the RadicalRight that had increased. Punishments by the liberalssuch as Dotty Hammell, Pauline Gascoigne, StephaniePowell and Jane Lummell were also on the rise.Melanie White, who acted in the dual role of DeputyHeadgal and Dorm Raider, and was an active andoutspoken opponent of the SS, had caned more galsthan any other prefect during a similar time-frame.She spent time with her ward, Katie Beck. Asusual Katie spent most of the time advocating newadditions to the Politics of Clobber. Once when MsLawton had tired of the subject and asked Katie todrop it, her ward had continued. Wearily Ms Lawtonput Katie over her knee and gave her a damn goodspanking.Susan Lawton began to plan her exit strategy.

31Hot Arse ChristmasWhile the majority of the inmates wereenjoying cool arse Christmas Claire Brooks was havingno such luck.Claire was the eldest daughter of pro-spankingactivists Ma and Christopher Brooks. They werefrequent guests on chat shows decrying the efforts ofSTOPP to eliminate the cane from the classroom.Ma was regularly seen on TV showing off herhairbrush and preaching her mantra that ‘there is noproblem that can’t be solved by a sore bottom.’The Brooks hairbrush had been handed downthrough generations of Ma’s side of the family.According to family lore the tradition originated with aVictorian Governess named Mary Whittington whooperated a small private school specializing incorrecting the willful or wayward ways of daughtersof the British aristocracy. She found applying the backof a hairbrush to their noble backsides to be anextremely effective technique. She saw no reasonwhy the techniques should not be deployed

Operation Scorched Arsedomestically on her own daughter’s behinds and thetradition had begun. The hairbrush was handed fromdaughter to daughter as they were married and hadfamilies of their own.Ma Brooks’ mother had been an ardentdisciplinarian and is credited with inventing the fineart of zinging. Ma was by all accounts a rebelliouscove and according to Ma on one occasion she hadnot shown a satisfactory reaction to being spankedand the family matriarch had suddenly forced herhead down and her bottom up and landed threemighty cracks, one on top of the other. Anotherfamily tradition had evolved.Claire had elected to spend the majority of thefurlough at her parent’s house. She was well awarethat if she was hoping for a cool arse Christmas thiswas a calculated gamble. It was a gamble that hadback-fired in spades.Many of Claire’s problems resulted from hermotor-mouth and her penchant for pith. Her habit ofopening her mouth before engaging her brain hadresulted in her persistently yanked out her seat in thelecture rooms and spread eagled across her desk.While her fellow inmates thought she was a hooteven the most enlightened members of the Brassfound her infuriating.Ma was not long on pith, especially when itinvolved potty-mouthing.“You are an intelligent and articulate youngwoman,” Ma was fond of telling Claire, “so you haveno reason to resort to bar-room language.”

123Ma’s lectures were generally conducted withher daughter head down, arse up across her lap.The evening before she was scheduled toreturn to the facility Claire Brooks waited in herbedroom with her hands on her head and her nosepressed to the wall. She was dressed in full clobber.As soon as she had opened her mouth Clairehad known that she was heading upstairs. The familyhad been sitting down for a last supper togetherwhen Claire had interjected the proceedings with atypically ribald observation.“After dinner, you will repair to your room,” Mahad informed her.“Yes Ma,” groaned Claire.Nothing more was said and over-dinnerconversation continued as if nothing had happened.Claire stared at the wall. Even though she wastwenty seven years old she unequivocally acceptedher mother’s right to spank her. It was familytradition and one that she suspected both she andher sister would continue in the event that they gotmarried and had children. Nonetheless, she wishedher Ma wasn’t quite so prolific. This would be herfourth trip over Ma’s knee since returning for thefurlough.She had even traveled to Victoria’s partysporting a red bottom following a disagreement withMa.Claire heard the familiar tread of Ma’s feet asshe began to mount the stairs. Her heart began to

Operation Scorched Arsebeat a little faster under her crisp white blouse andshe licked her lips in nervous anticipation.“So much for cool arse Christmas,” Clairesighed to herself.

32The Spice of SpankingMa Brooks came from the school of hardwhops.Besides the frequent hairbrush spankings shehad received from Claire’s grandmother she hadattended the original Woody School.At the time Woody’s was considered one of themost prestigious school’s in the nation, famed for itsacademic, sporting and artistic programs. It was alsowell-known for its strict discipline.Chrissy Brooks attended Woodys in its heydayand shared her time there with such luminaries asSusan Lawton, Patty Hodge and Debs’ mother, PennyMorton.Despite the strict discipline Ma and her peershad enjoyed life at Woodys and had all graduatedwith exceptional qualifications.Claire had grown up expecting to attend theschool but just prior to enrolling the academy wasforced to close its gates due to the increasingoverhead it took to maintain the sprawling campus.The irony that a decade later she would be sentencedto spend seven years at the facility in its new capacity

Operation Scorched Arseas the nation’s most draconian Back to School unithad not escaped Claire or her mother.Claire shrugged off her blazer and hung it backup in her wardrobe. She was dressed in a brand newcrisp white blouse, her striped tie and a navy-bluegymslip with ‘C’ stitched in the center of the bib.Ma Brooks sat down on a straight-backedarmless chair and beckoned Claire over.Claire stretched her long, lean feline body outacross her mother’s lap until she was positioned in afull drape. Her mother methodically began torearrange her daughter’s garments.Ma believed that variety was the spice ofspanking. She liked to vary her techniques from onespanking to the next. On the eve of Claire’s return tothe Back to School unit she selected a rhythm ofspanking alternate cheeks, leaving a goodly interludeto allow them to burn in fully.Claire Brooks was tough as nails and despitethe occasional punch of her fist in the air andbackward kick of her legs she gamely maintained afull drape throughout the first twelve spanks.Claire lay panting over Ma’s lap and waited forthe crescendo. She knew what to expect, thequestion was just when and where?Ma studied her handiwork. Claire’s bum was asatisfying hue of crimson and slightly swollen. Shelooked over at a clock on the wall and patientlywatched the second hand turn. Claire’s bum wasbeginning to twitch in anticipation. Ma Brooks smiledto herself; she knew from personal experience that

127despite her show of bravado Claire would be reachingthe peak of anxiety by now. She would be willing hermother to get it over with and at the same timepraying to the Gods that she would be released.Timing was everything.As the second hand completed its threehundred and sixty degree journey Ma removed herleft hand from around her daughter’s waist andreached over and pushed down on the back ofClaire’s neck. As Claire’s nose was thrust towards thecarpet her backside jerked upwards. Ma Brooksswung her brush.The three zingers landed one on top of eachother on the crown of the right cheek of Claire’sbackside in a blitz of fast spanks.Claire squeezed her eyes tight and gritted herteeth as the pain overwhelmed her. Her right legscissored back at the knee and she clenched her fistsinto tight balls.Ma Brooks placed the hairbrush on the floorand began to rearrange Claire’s clobber.“Why don’t you do fifteen minutes nose andtoes,” Ma told Claire, “and then after you’ve changedinto something more comfortable come down stairs tothe living room. You know how much your father likesto share a cognac with you before bed.”“Yes, Ma,” groaned Claire as she pushedherself off her mothers lap.The inmates returned in the usual fleet oflimos, taxis and buses to register for the next

Operation Scorched Arseinstallment of their Extreme Social Rehabilitationprograms.Claire threw her suitcase on the bed and beganto unpack. Her roommate, Amanda San Pierre,wheeled her luggage into the study.“Gosh, it sucks to be back,” said Mandy.“Three weeks of cool arse suited me just fine.”“Speak for yourself,” grumbled Claire andbegan to hang up her clobber.