Parent Relations - OECTA Pamphlet - Toronto Secondary Unit.

P O S I T I V EP R O F E S S I O N A LParentTeacherRelationships

TABLE OFContents1 INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12 EFFECTIVE COMMUNICAT I O N . . . . . . . .2WITH PA R E N T SEssential Communication Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2Ten commandments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2Early Contact . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3Classroom Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3Conferencing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3Telephoning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4E-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4Professionalism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5Be a Problem Solver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5Document! Document! Document! . . . . . . . . . . . . .5You are not alone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .53 M I S U N D E R S TANDING AND CONFLICT . .6Sources of conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6Resolving Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6The Difficult Person . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7Danger Signals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8De-escalating the Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8Ontario English Catholic Teachers Association65 St. Clair Avenue EastToronto, Ontario M4T 2Y8416-925-2493 or 1-800-268-7230Fax: 416-925-7764www.oecta.on.ca4 BULLYING AND HARASSMENT . . . . . . . .9What is Bullying . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9The Profile of a Bully . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9The Impact of Bulling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9Parental Harassment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10Soft Response . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10Hard Response . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11Defamation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11Civil Litigation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .115 RIGHTS, RESPONSIBILITIES . . . . . . . . . .12A N D E X P E C TAT I O N STeachers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12School Board . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13Parents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .136 RESOURCES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

CHAPTER ONEIntroductionIt should be no surprise to teachers or parents if wereport that education in Ontario is undergoing profoundchange, that this change is producing instability;and that this instability is generating turmoil.Since 1995, school boards have been re-structured andamalgamated. Schools have been closed and there hasbeen widespread labour unrest among teachers, causingdisruption of the academic and extracurricular life ofmany students. During that time, both elementary andsecondary schools have witnessed rapid and massivech a n ge s : n ew curr i c u l u m , n ew common prov i n c i a lreport card, changes in assessment and evaluation,province-wide tests, and a moved from a 5-year to a 4-year secondary graduation timeline.The Education Improvement Commission, the Collegeof Teachers and school councils have also been introduced.In addition to the structural changes, teachers live withincreased public scrutiny especially from parents. Wehear incessant demands for accountability all aroundthe education sector. We must be more than competenteducators; we are learning to respond to the new culturaland political landscape in which we work.Teachers understand that a strong community of students,their parents, and teachers is at the heart of qualityeducation. The Catholic school community is a centerof learning and a community of faith. But in spite ofthis unique quality, the scale of change in Ontario’sschool system has created higher levels of stress thanever before. The particular communitarian nature ofCatholic schools themselves, and the relationships thatare their life’s blood,is at risk because of the current turmoil.It takes good communication and effective relationshipsto create and maintain a positive school environment.Change, unless it is carefully managed and thoughtfullyintroduced, inevitably produces conflict within organizationsand among its members. In such a time, effectivec o m mu n i c ation within the school community andamong its educational partners is absolutely essential.OECTA’s Unit presidents and the Counselling andMember Services Department see the increase in callsfrom teachers about difficulties with parent teacher relations.Friction is inevitable in a period of socio-economicstress, rapid change and limited resources. Despitethese stresses, parents are our partners in educationand our natural allies. We share common goals andconcerns. A lot can be accomplished when we worktogether.The overwhelming majority of relationships with parentsare positive and productive. However some teachershave experienced problematic or destructive relationshipswith parents. The vast majority of conflicts area result of misunderstandings that could have beenavoided. The sting from poor parent teacher relationshipsis upsetting at best and can destroy a teacher’scareer at worst.It is in everyone’s best interest to develop and foster positiveand professional working relations with parents.They begin with effective communication.This resource is intended to provide a realistic and workableguide for teachers in developing positive relationswith parents. In the event there is conflict with a parent,this guide provides some useful strategies to handle suchsituations.1

Paraphrase what you have heard to clarify that youhave accurately understood what has been said. Thisalso helps probe for more information. It can also slowthe pace of the discussion which may be useful whenhandling a complex problem.>> Summarize your understanding. This helps to pulltogether the facts and the feelings. It provides anopportunity to emphasize the essential information andto prevent the conversation from going off topic.>> Validate the parent’s concerns to acknowledge yourespect her or his values, ideas and feelings.>> Restate your conclusions. It lets the speaker knowthat the message has been heard and understood. Italso lets the speaker hear and assess the message isbeing sent.EARLY CONTACTMaking early contact sets the relationship off on theright note. It will help lessen the parent’s anxiety. Itestablishes expectations. It can offer insight into the student’sneeds and concerns.>> Regular communications with home. Keep parentswell informed. Let them know about school events,class projects, reporting periods, and the like. Letparents know when and how they can reach you andmake them feel welcomed.>> Expectations and discipline practices. Avoid thecomment "if I had known sooner...">> Information about how you will communicateserious problems . Parents want to know how you willinform them if something is wrong. You can send aletter home to all parents on a regular basis, thentelephone them individually about issues that are moreimportant.>> Classroom visiting procedures. Parents have theright to visit your classroom in consultation with youand the school according to board policy. Theseprocedures must be clearly explained early and often.It is a good idea to establish a designated parentvisiting day when parents may come to observe theirchildren. Always explain your expectations of theirbehaviour during these visits.Begin early in September to establish positive relationswith parents. Teachers should develop various methodsto communicate with parents about classroom expectationsand routines, discipline methods, course guidelines,marking schemes and communication protocols. Manyteachers send home a letter to their parents in the firstweek of school. Ask your principal if there are schoolpolicies or templates regarding formal contact with parents.MAINTAIN REGULAR COMMUNICATIONCreate a communication protocol for every parent.Once this is established vet it with your administration.To avoid duplication and to prevent contradiction withschool and board policies you should keep your principalinformed. If a problem with a parent arises, it helps ifyour principal knows about your actions from the beginning.A CLASSROOM COMMUNICATION PROTOCOLSHOULD INCLUDE:>> Invitations to parents for their input andinformation. Let them know that you welcomeinformation that might affect a student’s progress in theclassroom.3Parents don’t like surprises when it comes to their children.Maintaining regular contact with parents preventsmisunderstandings. If there is a misunderstanding or aconflict develops with a parent, the teacher can use theprotocol to direct the parent’s concerns. A parent cannotsuccessfully complain that a teacher didn’t keep theparent informed of a problem. A proactive strategy canhead off many potential conflicts before they becomeserious issues. Following your own protocol can helpprotect you from false allegations.C O N F E R E N C I N GFace-to-face communication with parents is by far themost effective. Because it is so time consuming, it is generallyreserved for reporting periods or for discussingimportant issues.Teachers should keep in mind how stressful it is form a ny parents to meet their ch i l d ’s teach e r.Consequently, a parent’s reaction to a teacher’s commentsmay seem defensive. Do your best to put them atease.While most teachers had good school experiences, individualparents may have very different expectations and

perceptions about school than you have. Each party maycome to the meeting with vastly different mindsets dueperhaps to changes to the school system or because ofcultural differences.T E L E P H O N I N GDirect telephone conversation is usually a good way tocommunicate with parents. Sometimes a particularlysensitive piece of information is better shared in personwhile something routine can be commu n i c ated inwriting.WHEN TELEPHONING>> Consider the timing of your phone call. No onelikes to be disturbed during suppertime or late at night.>> Try to make the conversation short andinformative.>> Stay focused on the reason for your call.Avoid chit-chat.>> Be specific about the purpose of your call.Tell the parent about your concerns, expectationsand/or action plans. Don’t expect the parent to readyour mind. If his or her child has misbehaved and youwant support for a course of action, state yourrequest clearly.>> Call with positive news. Don’t always call whenthere is a problem. Many parents dread the call fromschool. Many teachers make a habit of making at leastone good news call to every parent. It is surprising howpleased parents are when the school calls with goodnews.>> Telephones are not always private. This can stiflean open honest discussion.>> Don’t call when you’re angry.>> Don’t be flippant, sarcastic or belittling.>> Understand that the topic is their child. Besensitive to their feelings.>> Always be polite and courteous.When parents call you, return their call as quickly aspossible. If the topic becomes sensitive arrange for apersonal meeting. If the parent is angry, schedule a discussionfor a later time.E - M A I LTeachers are using e-mail to communicate with parentsmore frequently. E-mail is great for the quick disseminationof straightforward information. E-mail, like letterwriting, may not be the best way to convey sensitiveinformation or to communicate when a response oragreement is required. Many households do not have acomputer or access to e-mail.Always offer an alternativeto e-mail. Remember that e-mail communication to aparent may be saved, printed or forwarded to others toproduce a written record of communication. Exerciseappropriate discretion.CONFERENCING DO’S✔ Arrive on time. Punctuality is a signof respect.✔ Greet the parent warmly, be polite atall times.✔ Address the parent by name and with respect.✔ Focus on the issue, don’t get sidetracked.✔ Share all information on hand.✔ Seek understanding from the parent.✔ Listen to their concerns and answer theirquestions openly.✔ Remember the purpose of the meeting isto enhance learning.✔ Listen to the parents and discuss theirconcerns. Invite suggestions from parents.CONFERENCING DON’TS✘ Don't give the parent a student’s chair.Remember you are equals.✘ Don’t surprise the parent with a newproblem. Conferencing is not the time tointroduce new problems.✘ Don’t blame.✘ Don’t engage in idle chit-chat. This isa serious meeting.✘ Don’t do all the talking.✘ Don’t compare students.REMEMBER THAT EDUCATION ISA PARTNERSHIP.4

P R O F E S S I O N A L I S MTeachers hold a position of trust. We are expected touphold certain values as outlined in the Education Act. Weare role models and these expectations continue 24hours a day, 365 days of the year.Parents are often in the school throughout the day,attending meeting, visiting classrooms or volunteering.Be considerate and careful making comments in the hallor staff room, especially at the end of a hectic day orwhen you need to discuss concerns with colleagues. Theschool may not be the most appropriate place to vent.Nor is a neighbourhood bar, especially if you live in asmall community.While we maintain certain boundaries with our studentswe should also maintain professional distance from parents.Be careful about establishing relationships withparents that become friendships. We are the child’steacher above all. The College of Teachers and theemployer considers the teacher’s duty or role as paramount,taking precedence over any friendship.Nor should teachers tolerate from parents unwelcomecomments about your appearance, unwelcome touching,unexpected visits to your home, frequent visits to yourclassroom for no apparent reason, or any behaviour thatmakes you feel uncomfortable. If this happens to you,tell the parent firmly that the behaviour is unacceptableand immediately report the incident to your principaland OECTA representative.BE A PROBLEM SOLVERA problem-solving approach can help avoid seriousproblems in the future. A teacher’s duty is to identify aproblem or concern with a student and look for a workablesolution to the problem. A parent wants to knowabout the strategies to solve a problem in addition to aclear diagnosis. The ideal strategy will be one that theteacher and parent agree to employ together.Many times parents appear angry and confrontational.We should try to diffuse this. Parents may feel threatenedwhen a teacher reports a problem with their child. Keepthe discussion focused on the problem. If a parent is tooupset to listen to the teacher’s concerns, ask an administratorto join the meeting.5In dealing with parents use the same strategies that weemploy with our students and understand their point ofview. Although we share many of the same goals, theparent usually focuses on the child while the teachermust consider the needs of an entire class. You mayneed to explain this perspective to the parent. If the parentcannot or will not accept your position, ask the parentto speak to the administrator.DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT!Get into the habit of documenting every single communicationwith parents. Keep a file on regular forms ofcommunication that you send home with students, allt e l ephone calls, c o n fe rences and eva l u at i o n s. Wr i t ebrief, objective notes during discussions with parentsthat include what was said, by whom, problems identifiedand their resolutions, who took responsibility forwhat and any expected timelines. Avoid writing opinionsor subjective commentary. Remember these notes constitutea formal record and should not be shared in anon-professional context.We live in a litigious society. Sometimes complaints areraised months or years after an event. While memoriesfade, objective notes made at the time can be veryhelpful.YOU ARE NOT ALONENo teacher should ever tolerate rude or abusive behaviourfrom students or parents. If a parent acts this way,insist that your administrator join the meeting. If it escalates,adjourn the meeting until another time when peopleare able to talk calmly.You may want to bring a third party to a meeting youanticipate will be difficult or if an issue is complex.Asking for help does not indicate weakness or an inability.You are entitled to seek support and it indicates goodprofessional judgment. Failure to seek advice or assistancecan aggravate a situation.If a parent’s behaviour threatens your professional reputation,disrupts your ability to perform effectively, orbecomes a danger to your health, seek assistance immediately.Inform your principal. Contact your OECTAunit office or the Counselling and Member Servicesdepartment at OECTA’s Provincial office. You are notalone.

CHAPTER THREEM i s u n d e rs t a n d i n gand ConflictTeachers are sometimes challenged by students, colleagues,administrators, representatives of outside agenciesor parents – all people with whom we work.Teaching requires excellent interpersonal skills and weare called upon to use these skills frequently.Conflict occurs from time to time in the normal courseof everyone’s career. It is not all counterproductive.Well-managed conflict can help to clarify issues and feelings.All educators should enhance their conflict resolutionskills to reduce stress and frustration when conflictdoes arise.As a highly skilled education professional you can influencethe quality of relationship you have with parents.SOURCES OF CONFLICTTo handle a conflict with a parent successfully, learn tounderstand the sources of conflict. In general there aresix main categories.1. RESOURCESConflicts may occur when resources are limited. A parentwith a special needs child may not understand thelack of resources due to inadequate government funding.A parent may not understand the teacher’s decisionover the allocation of scarce resources in the classroom.Conflict over the distribution of resources can takemany forms – the need for power, the need for recognition,jurisdiction of authority, and assertion of selfesteem.2. PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDSWhen psychological factors such as self-esteem, feelingsof belonging or happiness are threatened, people cansometimes become aggressive. A parent who thinks thathe or she has been belittled by a teacher or who believesthe child has been picked on, may lash out.3. VALUESPeople may feel personally attacked if they think theirvalues are threatened. It is not usually the difference invalues but the fear that one set of values is dominating.These conflicts can be difficult to resolve.4. DIVERGENT GOALSConflict may result when a teacher and a parent havec o m p l e t e ly diffe rent go a l s. A teacher who stre s s e sdrama, for example, may come into conflict with a parentwho values math and science above all.5. INCONGRUENT ROLE EXPECTATIONSAND BEHAVIOUR NORMSA parent who encourages a child to challenge authorityfigures may not accept the teacher’s discipline of thechild for "insubordination."6. INCOMPATIBLE PERSONALITIESSometimes conflicts are caused by personalitydifferences.RESOLVING CONFLICTIn conflict resolution, it is helpful to reflect on the issuesand decide whether they are interests or positions.Interests are our needs that motivate us to act in certainwas and to make certain decisions. A position is a stancethat we adopt to meet those needs. It can be changed.Successful conflict resolution focuses on understandingand addressing the interests of the parties rather thantheir positions. Focusing on interests allows the parties todiscuss the real issues.6

SIX STEPS1. Define the problem or source of the conflict. Useactive listening skills to try to understand the parents’concerns and perspective. Reflect on your own actionsand feelings . Have you inadvertently aggravated the situation?Have you been overly sensitive and overreacted?Is there any substance to the parent’s criticism? If at theend of a meeting you and the parent can agree on theproblem you have achieved a lot.2. Get all the information. Sometimes conflicts occurbecause one party is unaware of certain facts. For example,is the teacher aware that the parent’s child has ahearing disorder? Is the parent aware that the studenthad noted the project due date in her or his homeworkbook? When discussing issues with parents provideopportunities to share information.3. State your goal. Be clear and specific. Instead of saying,“I want Jane to do better,” explain, “I want Jane todo her math homework because I think it will improveher mark.” Ask the parents for their goal. Ask if theyagree with your goal.4. Develop strategies and possible solutions together.Brainstorm and decide which are practical and mostlikely to succeed. Decide together which strategy to use.5. Outline timelines and expectations. Together agreeon reasonable timelines. When should you expect toimprove the student’s math mark? What is a reasonableimprovement? 1 mark or 10 marks? What should theteacher and parent do if the marks do not improve withinthe given time?6. Arrange for a follow-up meeting. Check to see if theparent is satisfied with the agreed actions. Make modificationsto the strategy if necessary and agreed upon.Take detailed notes after each meeting/discussion. Thiswill help to avoid repetition.THE DIFFICULT PERSONFrom time to time differences of opinion signal otherproblems. In some disputes, one party may be what psychologistscall a "difficult person." In these cases, solvingthe conflict may require greater patience.R E M E M B E R>> We are all difficult in one way or another. It is partof human nature.>> Another person’s experience, expectations andfears may be very different from your own.>> Debates about right and wrong arecounterproductive. In a conflict, the challenge is tounderstand the other person’s perception and help himor her to understand yours.D O N ’ T>> Try to prove the other person wrong.>> Deny there is a problem.>> Distract from the stated problem.>> Look for someone to blame.Healthy people have strong self-esteem and a clear senseof their own identity. They discuss problems and takeresponsibility for their own actions. They are solutionfocusedrather than blame-focused. They recognize theworld around them and its complexities and understandingthat our society today is culturally and sociallydiverse. Healthy people keep these different perspectivesin mind.Professional assertiveness is important when addressingconflict with parents. Exercise your rights and insist onKEY CHARACTERISTICS OFDIFFICULT PEOPLE:• The tendency to see the world in black andwhite. Beliefs and behaviours are rigid.• Immature or unrealistic perceptions of selfand others.• Limited ability to see other people’spoints of view.• Belief that ‘normal’ people do not haveproblems. Consequently, when a problem arisesthere is a tendency to deny the problem.• Limited awareness of appropriate expectationsand boundaries for themselves and others.Use awareness skills to assess your responsewhen you feel a conflict arising that mayinvolve a difficult person. Guard against thenatural tendency to view your own position asthe ‘right’ one.7

courtesy. Try to put the situation in context and understandthe parent. Do not ignore an upset parent. A parentwho yells may be doing so out of fear that he or sheis not being heard or understood. It may be a normalcommunication method for that person. Help by sayingcalmly, "I want to hear your concerns, please slow downa bit", or "I respect you and I want to discuss this withyou, so please speak quietly." Never tolerate rudeness,threats or abuse.Review the problem, the issues involved and respond toan upset parent with awareness and professional concern.DANGER SIGNALSIf you notice the signs of potential serious conflict, thenyou will have a better chance at solving the problem andavoiding future stress.The following may be signs of pending conflict:>> Frequent and unscheduled school visits.>> Calls for no apparent reason.>> Calls to your home.>> Difficult and uncomfortable meetings.>> Refusal to agree on the highlighted concerns.>> Student defiance supported by the parent.>> Calls to the administrator, Board officials ortrustees.>> Rumour or gossip from other parents regardingthe teacher’s abilities or character.>> Threats to call the College of Teachers, Children’sAid Society.>> Written complaints.DO NOT IGNORE THESE SIGNS.It is extremely rare that a parent who is doing thesethings will stop. More often the activity escalates.DE-ESCALATING CONFLICTThe first step is to look at the situation as if it were happeningto someone else. Are you are being overly sensitive?Does the parent have legitimate concerns that youhave not addressed or that need more attention? Haveyour actions aggravated the problem?the problem. Tell your principal what is happening andwhat action you have taken.Terminate the discussion if the parent becomes unreasonable,if you have previously addressed the concernsor if the parent’s behaviour becomes threatening orintimidating in any way. Ignoring abusive behaviour willnot resolve the conflict. Make it clear that discussionmust be polite and respectful.It may be necessary to seek intervention by someonewith legislated responsibilities and authority to de-escalateconflict with a parent.Gather background information. Is this the first time theparent has complained? Is there a history or pattern tothe parent’s behaviour? Is there a history of involvementof outside agencies? What actions have you taken? Thisinformation may help you prepare an effective strategyto deal with the parent.Take this information and speak with your principalimmediately. Ideally there should be a meeting with theparent to discuss the conflict. You should attend themeeting. Any positive resolution will involve you. Thediscussion must remain polite and pro fe s s i o n a l .Remember that the school board has a responsibility toprotect employees. Call the local OECTA unit presidentif your principal fails to honour this board’s duty. Theprincipal involved should listen to and support both parentsand teachers, but you have a right to be publiclysupported by your principal. Discussions about you,teaching duties and abilities should never be held withparents or students.If every effort has been made to reach a mutually agreeableresolution and the parent is still dissatisfied, call theboard superintendent. Give the superintendent your fileof notes from meetings and discussions, telephone conversations,notes sent home, requests for assistance andsupport and descriptors of the student’s and parent’sbehaviour. Include dates and times with your notes.Avoid offering opinion. Let the facts speak for themselves.If the parent is raising honest concerns, it is yourresponsibility and in your best interests to address theconcern in a professional, calm manner – meet withparents immediately to find a resolution. Do not avoid8Know your rights. Seek help and assistance as needed.Contact your local OECTA unit president or theCounselling and Member Services department at theprovincial office. Advice and support are available.

CHAPTER FOURBullying andHarassmentWHAT IS BULLYING?While there is no fixed legal definition of the term workplacebullying, it is persistent, hostile treatment thaterodes a victim’s self-confidence and it can seriouslyaffect his or her health and may even ruin a career. It isbest understood as acts of commission including hostileverbal and nonverbal communication and interferingactions and omissions, such as withholding resources,time, information, support, that guarantee failure. It cani n clude teasing, c r i t i c i z i n g, insulting and go s s i p i n g.These activities are motivated by the bully’s need tocontrol.Bullying is primarily psychological and involves criticismand intimidation. Anyone can be a bully. Often peopledon’t initially recognize that they are being bullied. Itcan begin with subtle, often seemingly honest, debate. Aparent’s first, second or even third visit to the classroom,or call to the school, may not seem out of the ordinary.The questions asked regarding curriculum might appearhonest and legitimate. However, after repeated visits orcalls, you may begin to feel frustrated by the same questionsand comments. A pattern of behaviour may bedeveloping. Parents are entitled to question their children’sprogress, but teachers should be concerned whena parent’s involvement focuses more on teacher criticismthan understanding the child’s progress. If questionsand comments are counterproductive, controlling andindeed hurtful, bullying may have begun.THE PROFILE OF A BULLYAnyone can be a bully, male or female. The bully is mostlikely to pick on someone who is competent, oftenexcelling at his or her job and well liked rather than theloner or oddball. Their victims just happen to be in thewrong place at the wrong time.Adult bullies are very similar to classroom bullies: insecure,with poorly developed social and interpersonalskills. More than anything, bullies fear the exposure oftheir inadequacies . The bully’s goal is to humiliate, criticize,belittle and trivialize. They are predatory andopportunistic. They select targets that they perceive tobe vulnerable, with a non-confrontational cooperativepersonality. The activity is likely to escalate.You may become a target of a parent bully by unwittinglydrawing attention to the parent’s actions. Theparent may not like what he or she hears when you callto discuss a child’s performance. The bully parent maybelieve you are criticizing his or her parenting skills andmay bully you as a consequence. The chance of thishappening may be greater with increased teacher competencysince you are more likely to identify and diagnosedeficiencies.THE IMPACT OF BULLYINGBullying should not be tolerated, yet it is a commonexperience. According to a study conducted in 2000 bythe Campaign Against Workplace Bullying (CAWB) inwhich 1335 respondents were surveyed, 1 in 5 workersin the United States experienced "bothersome, disruptivemistreatment" in the workplace in 2000. A 1999International Labour Organization (ILO) report onworkplace violence found that physical and emotionalviolence is the most serious problem facing employeesand employers in new millennium.Employers are now beginning to recognize that bullyingranks with sexual harassment and alcohol and drugabuse as a problem in the workplace. School boardsh ave a mora l , financial and legal responsibility toaddress the problem.9Bullies poison the work environment and create stress inthe work site. Work performance suffers, relationshipscan deteriorate and friendships may cool. Bullying mustnever be tolerated!

PARENTAL HARASSMENTThere is a story of a parent who had a disagreementwith his son’s teacher. The teacher met with the parentsnumerous times to discuss the problem. With eachanswer and solution the teacher provided, the parentintroduced a new complaint. The teacher referred theproblem to the principal for assistance. The teacher, theprincipal and the parent met but were unable to satisfythe parent’s concerns. Soon after, there was a meetingwith the teacher, principal, parent and the superintendent.During this meeting, the parent grew increasinglyhostile and accused the teacher of incompetence. Laterthe parent wrote to the director of education and schoolboard trustees accusing the teacher of being mentallyincapable. When the school board officials supportedthe teacher, the parent took his accusation outside to thecommunity. He distributed a petition and flyers to otherparents and students and wrote letters to the editor andmembers of the community. The parent was sued fordefamation of character and criminal harassment.This is an extreme situation. The employer has aresponsibility to protect this teacher and the school communityagainst such harassment and defamation.Harassment is a term recognized in law as either criminalor civil harassment. Within each type, there arefour kinds of harassing behaviour ranging from oral,physical, telephone, to written harassment. A legal definitionof harassment is a course of conduct directed ata specific person that causes substantial emotional distressin such person and serves no legitimate purposes.A person who harasses can be prosecuted under theCriminal Code or the human rights policies of theOntario Human Rights Code.Though not technically legal term, parental harassmentmay be understood as persistent parental or communitycriticism of or interference with school programs,teacher performance or interaction with studentsthat is unwarranted and/or unsubstantiated.As Alberta lawyer, Daniel Carroll sees it, parentalharassment is the use by parents of confrontation tacticswhich attack a teacher or which have the consequenceof reducing a teacher’s ability to conduct herself effectivelywithin the school and which harm the teacher’swell-being or professional reputation.10Defamation of character is commonly defined as makingpublic or, available to a third person words or mattercontaining an untrue attribution against another.Such communication in writing is called libel, whenthe communication is conveyed orally it is called slander.A concerted response is needed when a teacher is victimizedby some form of bullying, intimidation and/orharassment, particularly where focused problem solvinghas had no success. The teacher and school authorities,in consultation with board lawyers, should study alternat ive strat eg i e s. The teacher should also contactOECTA for resources and assistance.SOFT RESPONSEA soft response involves intervention by the schooladministration using the powers available to them.A person in authority, such as the principal may providean opportunity for legitimate expression of concerns,diffusing those concerns and setting rules for acceptableconduct.A school board policy or procedure may apply to thesituation and provide some direction as to how theseissues should be ap p ro a ch e d . Meetings should berestricted to discuss the specific topic only and shouldnot become a venue for a parent (or parents) to continuewith harassing behaviour. Proper conduct for themeeting should be outlined to the parent(s) by schoolboard officials and agreed to prior to the start of themeeting. All parties must be courteous and demonstraterespect.Some boards may employ the use of m e d i at i o nresources, facilitators or trained mediators. An independentmediator may establish a problem-solving atmosphere.This can be useful, especially when emotions arerunning high. An ‘outsider’ can bring an air of objectivityto the discussion and diffuse the situation, therebyallowing the parties to focus on the issues and not thepositions.The board should use all of the tools it has available toprotect the teacher and the school. This may includerestricting the parent’s access to school property. Theprincipal may invoke the provisions of the Education Actor Trespass to Property Act, if, in the principal’s judgment,

the parent’s presence in the school would be detrimentalto the physical or mental well-being of the pupils.HARD RESPONSEA hard response involves external intervention by thepolice and the courts.A hard response is needed in cases if severe harassmentor actions that violate the Criminal Code or other laws.In these cases the police or appropriate authoritiesshould be contacted.Under the Criminal Code, a person assaults when "heor she attempts or threatens, by an act or gesture, toapply force to another person, if he or she has, or causesthat other person to believe upon reasonable groundsthat he or she has an ability to effect his or her purpose."In circumstances of harassment where there is reason tobelieve that a person may cause injury to the person, hisor her family or property, an application may be madeb e fo re a judge of the Ontario Court (Prov i n c i a lDivision) or justice of the peace. If the judge or justiceof the peace is satisfied that the person has reasonablegrounds for his or her fears, an recognizance to keep thepeace may be ordered for a period of time not exceedingtwelve months. A person who commits a breach ofthe recognizance is guilty of an offense.Depending on the circumstances of the situation andevidence, the police may make a charge under the"stalking" or "criminal harassment" provision of theCriminal Code.Alternately, a harassing parent may be put on noticethat her or his behaviour is unwelcome and, if thebehaviour persists, may be cause for a civil suit. Theboard’s lawyer can write a ‘demand’ letter or a ‘ceaseand desist’ letter. Such correspondence notifies the parentabout potential civil action or other consequences.Usually these formal letters put an end to the problem.It is a cold wake-up call. Occasionally they escalate theharassment if the parent is gratified by the reaction andattention.CIVIL LITIGATIONOne of the last resorts for the teacher who is harassed iscivil legal proceedings. This should not be consideredlightly. There are a few bases upon which harassing parentsmight be sued: for libel or slander and nuisance, orin extreme cases, assault/battery. Any lawsuit is lengthy,expensive, public and emotionally draining. This shouldonly be started after close examination and discussionwith the board’s legal counsel. Only a few teachersin Canada have ever successfully sued parents fo rharassment.DEFAMATION LAW EXISTS TO BALANCETHE "TWIN VALUES OF REPUTATIONAND FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION."TO PROVE DEFAMATION ONE MUSTSHOW THAT A STATEMENT:1. is not true.2. injures the person’s reputation orgood name.3. was made publicly.An accusation about a teacher to the principalor even the CAS that is later proved unfoundedis not likely to be defamation, because itwas not made publicly. It would be differentif the parent printed the accusation on abanner and displayed it on a downtown street.A requirement for libel/slander is that theoffending party makes the false statementspublic.THERE ARE THREE DEFENSESTO DEFAMATION1. the statements are "justified,"substantially true2. the statement was a "fair comment"; oran expression of an honestly held opinionfounded on true facts on a matter ofpublic interest3. there is “Qualified Privilege", in whichthe person making the communication has aninterest or a duty, be it legal, moral orsocial, to make the statement. Justificationis a complete defense. It can be defeated as adefense if one can prove there was "malice."Malice is not simply "ill-will"; there mustbe proof of some ulterior motive.11

A person who privately harasses a teacher, where theharassment does not involve a third party, but does notnecessarily make a defamation statement, may be suedon the basis of nuisance. The common law of nuisanceprotects against acts or omissions whereby a person isunlawfully annoyed, prejudiced or disturbed in theenjoyment of land. A person can be charged for makingpersistent telephone calls, and/or unwanted visits tosomeone’s home or place of work. The test is whetherthe harassment "amounts to undue interference with thecomfortable and convenient enjoyment by the plaintiffsof their respective property."No incident of harassment should be taken lightly. Ateacher who experiences any form of harassment shouldinform the employer immediately. A parent’s actions areunlikely to stop without intervention.All educators should develop awareness of the initialstages of harassment and board policies. Many timeswith the proper strategy, the actions can be stoppedwithout criminal or civil intervention. A proactive strategyis always better than a reactive one. Any successfulproactive strategy must include board officials and theirlegal counsel. It is their responsibility. An individualteacher should never be expected to handle the problema l o n e. Contact your local OECTA president orthe OECTA Provincial office if you have questions orconcerns.CHAPTER FIVERightsResponsibilities andExpectationsThe following is a summary of some of the many rightsand responsibilities of parents, teachers and the schoolboard in relation to each other. The information here isintended to be a review of important issues, but is notcomplete. Contact OECTA for more detail.TEACHER RESPONSIBILITIESTeachers have a duty to adhere to their various duties asm a n d ated by leg i s l at i o n . The fo l l owing clauses inEducation Act deal specifically with Teachers’ duties inrelation to parents and parental expectations.>> Sec. 264: teachers must teach diligently andfaithfully, encourage pupils to learn, act as modelsand maintain discipline.>> Regulation 298: teachers are responsible forinstruction, training and evaluation of the progressof pupils; must report about pupils’ progress to theprincipal; assist the principal to maintain close cooperationwith the community; prepare teachingplans and outlines and submit them to the principalas required.TEACHERS HAVE THE RIGHT TO:>> Be informed of parental complaints if boardofficials act upon those complaints.>> Receive copies of letters from parents if they areplaced in the teacher’s personnel file.>> Have OECTA representation in any manner thatis, or might be construed to be, disciplinary.>> Expect their employer to follow appropriateregulations, policies, procedures and legislation.>> Request administration assistance with curriculum,assessment, classroom management and discipline.>> Request assistance from their administration in allcommunications with parents.>> Work in a safe environment, free from harassment,intimidation or bullying.12

Be treated with courtesy and respect.>> Contact OECTA about any matter, problem orquestion at any time.The following laws, contracts and policies define roles,responsibilities and rights.The Ontario Human Rights Code, 1981>> Part I, sec. 5 (2) states an employee has the right tofreedom from harassment in the workplace if theaction is based on one or more of the prohibitedgrounds, which include race, ancestry, place of origin,colour, ethnic origin, citizenship, creed, age, record ofoffenses, marital status or handicap.The Occupational Health and Safety Act, 1990>> Sec. 25 (2) (h) states employers have a duty to takeevery precaution reasonable in the circumstances forthe protection of a worker.The Criminal Code of CanadaSec. 180: NuisanceSec. 264: Criminal HarassmentSec. 265: AssaultSec. 372: Harassing telephone callsSec. 810: Reasonable fear for personal safetyor propertyEducation Act (as amended by the Safe Schools Act,2000).>> Sec. 301(2) sets out the purposes of the code ofconduct including that all members of the schoolcommunity are to be treated with respect and dignityand that an environment should be maintained whereconflict and differences are addressed in a civil manner.>> Your own collective agreement.>> Your school board’s harassment and assault policiesTHE SCHOOL BOARD HAS THERESPONSIBILITY TO:>> Ensure all members of the school community,especially people in positions of authority, are treatedwith dignity and respect.>> Provide a safe workplace.>> Provide a workplace free from harassment andintimidation.>> Comply with applicable statutes including theEducation Act.>> Provide teachers with the appropriate supports andwork environment so that they can do their jobssuccessfully.>> Use the tools at their disposal to ensure theiremployees are treated respectfully and fairly.THE SCHOOL BOARD HAS THE RIGHT TO:>> implement and adhere to board and school codesof conduct, and relevant sections of the Education Act:>> Sec. 212 (1), it is an offense to disrupt the activitiesof a school or a classroom.>> Sec. 265 (m), the principal’s duties include theprevention of access to the classroom of anyone whosepresence would be detrimental to the physical ormental well-being of the pupils.>> Sec. 305, provisions governing access to schoolpremises (in accordance with regulation) empower theprincipal to direct people to leave the school property.>> Under the Trespass to Property Act, principals can givenotice to an individual (including parents) to leaveschool premises.>> Board policy. Principals can ask parents and othersto respect and follow school behaviour codes andpolicies. Principals can require parents and others tofollow meeting restrictions, which may includespecifying meeting times, locations, attendance andagenda.PARENTS HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO:>> Abide by the law.>> Behave in a civil and respectful manner.>> Follow school rules and procedures.>> Acknowledge and abide by school board policiesand procedures.There is no specific legislation that mandates or directsparents or gives special attention to parental rights. Inthe educational setting, rights, and responsibilities aremandated for educators, school authorities and otherofficials and authorities, such as the Children’s AidSociety. Parents, legitimately, have high expectationsthat teachers should respect.13

PARENTS EXPECT TO:>> Know what is being taught and how it will betaught.>> Know how learning will be evaluated and theevaluation and assessment criteria employed.>> Be fully informed of their child’s progress andproblems when or if they arise.>> Upon request, and within the confines of anyschool policy, meet with teachers regarding theprogress of their child and arrange with the teacher tovisit the classroom. Appointments for visits andmeeting should be arranged by mutual agreement.>> Know the approved discipline methods in a classand the school. This includes the teacher’s classroomexpectations and the school’s philosophy andexpectations regarding discipline.>> Speak with the teacher and/or board personnelabout their concerns. While it is usually morebeneficial and productive for parents to contact theteacher directly parents may contact board officialsdirectly.CHAPTER SIXResourcesBlack’s Law Dictionary. Sixth Edition.Bully OnLine website of the UK National WorkplaceBullying Advice Line, www.successunlimited.co .uk/bull y.htmlBullying in the Workplace, Canada Safety Council,excerpt from web-site, www.safety-council.org/info/OSH/bullies.htmlThe Campaign Against Workplace Bullying, excerpt fromweb- site, www.bullybuster s.org/def.htmlCarroll, Daniel. Parental Harassment: When ReasonablenessFails. Prepared for the CAPSLE Conference, 1998.Developing a Positive School Environment: A practical and legalguide for members, The Ontario English CatholicTeachers’ Association, 1994.Keel, Robert G . The Spectre of Parental & IntruderHarassment, Keel Cottrelle, 2000.Parent Teacher Relations: Putting the Pieces Together,Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario, 2000.Roher, Eric M. Dealing with the Problem Parent, Partner ofBorden Ladner Gervais LLP, prepared for CAPSLEConference, 2000.FOR FURTHER INFORMATION:Bramson, Robert M. Coping with Difficult People,Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. 1981Robin, Daniel . Dealing with Difficult People, excerptfrom web site, www.abetterworkplace.com/dif fi cult.htmlwww.work911.com/pa ges Articles on AngerManagement, Communication, Stress Management,Work Related including Conflict Management.www.angermgmt.com Anger management techniquesto cover such Coping with Your Co-workers orBoss, Understanding Children’s' Negative Behavior.Contact OECTA if you have questions and concernswww.oecta.on.caWe can make schools better by becoming Partners in Learning,The Alberta Teachers’ Association, 1996.14