July & August 2012 - 12 Step Gazette

Page 2 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-877412stepgazette@comcast.netEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 4 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netBill W.’s House To Become landmark?An important pilgrimage site for AA (and Al-Anon) members is beingconsidered for National Historic Landmark status: the Bedford Hills, NewYork home of Bill and Lois Wilson. Among other artifacts, the home containsthe kitchen table where Bill W. settled on the concept of a higher power,rather than the more specific Christian God. Known as “Stepping Stones,”the house has been listed on theNational Register of HistoricPlaces since 2004, along withabout 80,000 other such sites.But National Historic Landmarkstatus is much more rarified.If approved, SteppingStones would join the ranks ofBill Wilson & Wife Loisat Stepping Stonesjust 2,430 other major Americanlandmarks including theStatue of Liberty, Dealey Plazain Dallas (where JFK wasshot), and the Hoover Dam.But some latter-day neighborsof Bill W. aren’t too keen onthe plan, which they fearwould only add to the 3,000visitors per year that SteppingStones has drawn since 2004.One woman, an appraiser, ispetitioning the National ParkService to reject the landmarkdesignation. “This is not about the purpose of the property or the people,”she says. “It is about the fact that this is a residential neighborhood and thisdoes not conform and this does not add value.” Whether or not the effort toelevate the Bill W. house succeeds, a similar drive began this spring to conferlandmark status upon the home in Ohio where AA co-founder “Dr. Bob”lived. Story by Hunter R. Slayton (Courtesy of TheFix.com)Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 5How To Beat DefeatFeeling the sting of defeat? Does it seem as if the harder we try, the moreoften we stumble? The reality of recovery is that it is never a straight-lineprogression. We will have ups and downs, successes and minor (sometimesmajor) setbacks. But that’s to be expected. After all, no one has a lock onany particular recovery strategy or sure-fire way to go that will guarantee aminimum of rocky roads in our journey.There is one way to look at overcoming setbacks and it’s something thatevery single one of us can do. We simply have to get up again and keep ongoing. That is how we beat defeat. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Thenwhy do so many of us have such a hard time following this recommendation?Maybe we’re not being honest with ourselves. Did we really put allour effort into the endeavor that somehow didn’t turn out to our liking? Didwe suffer from wishful thinking and set ourselves up to fail? These aresome tough questions, but they’re ones that we really need to ask ourselves.And, by the way, we’re not unique in doing this. Each person in recoveryhas to do a little soul-searching and examine their motives with respect tothe outcomes of their efforts (or lack thereof). We should not tell ourselveswe don't have what it takes. That’s another common excuse, so let’s throwthat one out right now. Do we feel like too much is expected of us? Or arewe expecting too much from the world. Nobody ever said life was fair oreasy. Maybe we feel like nobody will give us a break. All is not lost, however,even if we don’t have a supportive family or loved ones around us. Inessence, our 12-step group becomes the supportive family we otherwiselack. They can give us the support and hope we need to keep on pushing.The point is, if we suffer a defeat of minor or major proportions, don’t giveup. Stand up and get back into our recovery efforts. We do get stronger inthe process, and that means we are making progress.Feeling OverwhelmedRecovering people do not have a monopoly on feeling overwhelmed.Historically, however, we have turned to mood-altering substances to dealwith stress and emotions, so being overwhelmed can be a significant triggerfor many people in recovery. So what do we do if we are feeling overwhelmed?The first step is to sit back, take a breath, and figure out exactlywhat is going on with us.It is suggested we get out a pad of paper and start writing out all of thethings we have on our plates at the moment. Once we have our list we canask ourselves this question: What is on this list that is hanging over my headthat I can complete TODAY? We might be surprised just how much procrastinationhas led to our list getting longer and longer, and how not doingsomething is putting more pressure on us than just doing it.Another trick is to not project too far into the future. If a new project hasbeen given to us that is due in a month, don't think we have to finish that inone week. Or if we see a bunch of things we need to do we have to remember,“One day at a time.” We don’t just use that slogan for staying awayfrom the first drink or drug but for many of life's challenges. So often, wecompletely forget to live in today. When we do that, we are guaranteed tostart feeling overwhelmed. Also, we may need to plan out what we can doin the next two days – or even just today – to get started. Remember, anovel isn’t written in a day – it’s a few pages a day over a long period oftime that results in that big manuscript!When we are feeling overwhelmed we have to remember it’s a feeling.Sometimes it's beneficial to analyze a feeling and see what is causing us tofeel that way. We may find that we were “running” with the feeling withoutrealizing that things weren't as bad as we thought – or felt! And if they dolook kind of impossible we know we can always ask for help.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

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www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 7What Exactly Is A Spiritual Awakening?The first part of Step 12 (no matter what fellowship you attend) is avery magical phrase; "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result ofthese steps...". It sounds so comforting (and exciting) that many of ushave thought, WOW! I want to have one of those and how will I knowwhen it happens? Or, "Am I having spiritual awakenings now and justnot recognizing it?" Maybe we can answer some of these questions bytaking an honest look at what is our "spirit" and how does it "awaken".The simplest way of thinking about our spirit is that is our essence - ourself. If we are obsessessed with drinking or drugging,our spirit is on a mission of “more intoxification”. Assoon as we commit to recovery, our spirit changes, orawakens, to a whole new “mission”. Let’s look at thewording of Step 12.The first thing we noticed when we looked at Step 12was the way that it is phrased - "Having had a spiritualawakening AS A RESULT OF THESE STEPS" - so thatimplies that although there may be plenty of examplesof people in the program having spiritual awakeningsbefore they experience the first 11 steps, we shouldprobably take a look at what it is about these steps that almost guaranteesif you work/live/experience them, you will indeed have this awakening.Many people feel compelled to relate the phrase 'spiritual awakening' toGod, a higher power or a divine being. That's fine if that's your take onit but many others have also added that the awakening is of OUR spirit- our life force - and in that case, you could be an agnostic or an atheistand have spiritual awakenings. Sometimes we can feel that somethingis different in us - maybe it's a result of being clean and sober and we'remore level-headed. Perhaps a spiritual experience might mean that weare starting to feel like we're finally growing up. Like our spirit is experiencingsome “maturity”, or waking up.It could also be that there is a difference in us - a psychic, spirituallybased metaphysical {beyond science} presence in our being that occursas a result of a change of thoughts, attitude and behaviors. One thing isfor sure; with all the changing we wind up doing in therecovery process, with the opening of previouslyclosed minds and a healthy sprinkling of well timedcoincidences (God-incidences?), we certainly mayfind that in our lives we have come to believe in manynew things and that in itself can be thought of as a spiritualawakening of sorts.If you put all of these different interpretations into abig basket and take look at it, some things are commonthroughout. One of these is the feeling of a new wayof looking at things. The birth of something inside ofus that gives us a new, healthier outlook as we go about the affairs ofour lives. So, whether we've had some spiritual experiences, a religioustransformation, a birth of something inside of us as a result of the 12steps that gives us a more positive outlook - or a combination of all ofthese, a spiritual awakening is another great reward/blessing we earnfrom our participation in the 12 step recovery process.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com


www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 9Staying Clean & Sober In The SummerThere's something in the air during the summertime on the East Coast. Maybeit's the clothes everybody's wearing or the fact that the weather's beautiful, butthere's something that goes on in summer and "it used to mean", PARTY! Nowthat we're not doing THAT kind of partying anymore, we thought it would be agood idea to look at how we can still have a great time but stay clean and sober.Let's start with everybody's favorite thing to do around here - "going downthe shore". We can head there with great intentions of staying clean but once wesmell that ocean air who knows what can happen. We have to be careful - there'sdefinitely recovery potholes (possible relapses) on the boardwalk- whether it"s casino gambling in Atlantic City or bikinistaring in Wildwood, we all need to watch out for H.A.L.T.,J.A.R.S. and every other cautionary acronym we can imagine.The Jersey beaches, for some of us, are people, places andthings all wrapped up into one. But we don't have to avoid them- we just have to remember that we have a disease...which, occasionally,tells us we DON"T have a disease. The antidote tothis dis-ease is honesty and meetings.Not just beach towns but any town or location in the worldhas an Alcoholics Anonymous hotline number listed if you callinformation. If Narcotics Anonymous is your program ofchoice and they don't have a listing (sometimes N.A. isn't quiteas thorough or available in certain places), just ask for the A.A.number. "Any port in a storm" somebody famous once said -and, often an A.A. person will know where all the local meetings are; Al-Anon,Cocaine Anonymous, G.A., N.A. - you name it! For the sake of our readers whoare going down the shore this summer, A.A's hotline number is 609-641-8855and N.A.'s WAS a little tougher to get from information... eventually I resortedto the Philly N.A. hotline, 215-NA WORKS (215-629-6757) and they had aSouth Jersey meeting list. If you've never made a meeting as an out-of-townerit is a great experience. Usually resort places or vacation spots are used to 12steppers hitting a meeting there while they're away from home and they makeyou feel very welcome.That's the meeting part of vacationing...how about all the other "trappings"of summer. The extreme heat seems to increase the appeal of an ice cold beeror those fancy "boat drinks". We have to remember that for years, alcoholicdrinks have been presented to us without the real consequences attached. Wehave to remember OUR consequences are much worse than a case of the spinsor even a D.U.I. - we wind up in jails, institutions or dead. Or even worse, sentencedto a lifetime of suffering either unwilling or unable to make it back tosobriety again. A good way to feel like we're not missing something or beingdenied a 'treat' is to get ourselves a really great, cold and refreshingnon-alcoholic drink. We always need to remember thatwe used up our drinking and drugging 'privileges' years ago -if God gave out "get high coupons" we already cashed all oursin years ago! More importantly, we need to play that first drinkor drug scenario out to the very end to imagine where it willprobably lead us.Much of recovery is basic maintenance and prevention. Ifwe have been able to stay clean and sober for a period ofmonths (or more) then we just need to do what we've beendoing; continue to make meetings, call our sponsors, let peopleknow what's going on with us and reach out to newcomers. Weneed to keep praying and stay connected. Often times a relapseis preceded by a small change in lifestyle that usually involvesless involvement in the recovery process...we can't afford to dothat. Always keep in mind when you go on vacation (if you are that fortunate)that there are meetings everywhere. They even have meetings on cruise ships- usually, they're AA or generic and will be announced over the intercom as"Friends of Bill W. meeting on deck 3...". The same is true with resort spots ofall kinds - and always remember to look for those little AA 'triangles in a circle'pendants or N.A.'s 'diamond in a circle' as well. They can be a real clue to hookingup with a 'kindred spirit' and finding recovery rather than relapse. I guesssummer is like any other time for those in recovery - we always have to rememberwho we are, what we are and that we can’t afford to take the first one.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com


www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 11It is suggested that newcomers to AA or NA try to attend 90 meetings in90 days. Here are some of the benefits and the reasons why we suggestthis. First, the early weeks of recovery are when people are most likely torelapse. By attending a meeting every day it can help us stay committed tosobriety and keep us focused on our recovery. When we quit drinking anddrugging we will suddenly have a great deal of time on our hands. Goingto a meeting every day will help us fill this time. This intensive immersioninto the program will give the us the opportunity to learn about how the 12Steps work. It will help us start to see how this new life “works”. It willhelp to ensure that we have plenty of support during the early days of ourrecovery. Total dedication to the program at the beginning also ensures thatthe program becomes a priority. Walking away from our addiction usuallymeans leaving behind friends who are still drinking or using drugs. By attendinga meeting every day we will be able to build a new support network.Committing to 90 meetings in 90 days and keeping this commitment canalso be a good boost for self-esteem. Most of us have a long history of brokenpromises and resolutions so actually keeping to a commitment can begood for our confidence.This type of commitment to the program also shows us that we are reallywilling to change our lives. This willingness is the key to success in sobriety/recovery.Socializing is also an important element of regular AA andNA attendance. It is common for people to go for coffee or something toeat after the meeting. We can learn to develop a new social life as a resultof making a lot of meetings. People are most likely to relapse in the firstfew weeks and months of our recovery. The risk of relapse never completelygoes away, but things can be particularly precarious during the early phaseof recovery. This means that we will benefit from plenty of support duringthis transition period into sobriety when we are most vulnerable.Those of us who relapse after a period of sobriety will often mentionboredom as an excuse. When we were 'out there', we spent most of our daythinking about, obtaining, consuming, or getting over the effects of our drugof choice. This means that when we are sober we will suddenly have toomuch time on our hands (or in our heads). It can take a few months beforepeople in recovery discover meaningful things to do with our time. This isbecause prior to this we may have had little interest in anything that didn’tinvolve alcohol and drugs - 90 meetings in 90 days will provide us with aproductive use of our time. By going to a meeting every day we will havesomething to do so this will mean less risk of boredom.Loneliness can be a common feeling for many newcomers. We may notknow anybody in the program yet and we feel very isolated. We begin towant to have some new people in our lives. Unfortunately new friends arenot going to come and find us; it will usually be necessary for us to do thelegwork. Going to meetings is one way to do this.Being realistic, we may not be able to make a meeting every single dayfor the first three months. But if we just aim for a meeting every day, we'llbe well on our way to a second chance at life.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

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www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 13About The Processby Bradley K.“M&M: Methadone and Meetings”WARNING: If you’re content with being a ‘lifer’ on methadone, thenthis article is not for you. If your goal is to be abstinent from all drugsthen keep reading...Let's face it - methadone is a big issue in a lot of 12 step meetings. Althougha lot of members have personal opinions on this, the truth is thatdrug replacement therapy (methadone & suboxone) is an outside issue andas a whole the 10th tradition states, "We have no opinion on outside issues."This article is simply one addict’s experience with being a member of NarcoticsAnonymous while on methadone and becoming completely abstinentand does not represent the view of any 12-step fellowship. If we are seriousabout wanting to be completely abstinent from all drugs, there are somethings we must admit...• That drug replacement therapy (DRT) is exactly what it claims to be,replacing one drug for another. This is a hard pill to swallow for almosteveryone on methadone. But if we have the desire to be free from those liquidhandcuffs, we must admit it. If one truly believes they are all set for lifeon a clinic, then I wish you the best. But if you have a desire to one day notbe dependent on a chemical then we must admit we are not clean."Occasionally someone in the meetings would tell me it was a programof complete abstinence. This used to infuriate me, but down the line it resonatedand eventually helped inspire me to get clean. Even though sometimesmy pride got hurt, I knew deep down that I was missing out on thefull benefits of NA."• If we have a desire to be clean, we must be honest in meetings."When I was on methadone I told my support group, sponsor andhomegroup I was on methadone. I did not collect key tags nor claim cleantime. This kept me humble and gave me a goal to be completely clean fromall drugs. I found people who were stuck on a clinic and now had cleansuccessful lives and I took their suggestions."A lot of us like to keep our drug replacement therapy secret. But if wewant to get off of it, we need to open up. Keeping the fact we are onmethadone a secret, is like bringing your car to a mechanic but not tellinghim what’s wrong with it. If you are content with being on a clinic for therest of your life then keep your mouth shut and sit in the back. On the otherhand, if you want to experience the total freedom offered through recoverythen raise your hand, let people know you're on methadone and take suggestions.We might not always like what we hear, but with honesty, openmindednessand willingness we can recover."With the help of NA and hard work, I can finally appreciate the freedomof not having to take a substance every day to feel normal.”Although there is a lot of hype and stigma that goes along with being onmethadone and suboxone, the truth is that we aren’t any different than anyoneelse in the meetings. The message is we can stop using, lose the desireto use and find a new way of life. This applies to people on methadone orsuboxone as much as it does to anyone. Honesty, open-mindedness andwillingness are truly the keys.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com


www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 15Facebook & My SelF eSteeM(An excerpt from an article written By Taylor Ellsworth. For the completeversion, see “Facebook In Sobriety”. Courtesy of TheFix.com. )“My problem isn’t that I’m addicted to status updates. It’s that I use Facebookas a self-worth monitor—and I’m unwilling to stop. In the early daysof recovery, I would troll my Facebook newsfeed, comparing my Saturdaynight routine of hitting a meeting and late-night diner to the always coolerexperiences everyone else seemed to be having. Facebook served as a toolby which to measure my likeability and popularity. If therewere lots of pictures posted of me from the last party, I wascool. If someone mentioned an inside joke on my wall, I wasinteresting. Conversely, if a group of my friends posted picturesof some event that I hadn’t been invited to, I was devastated.In sobriety, I have often heard the phrase, “Don’tmeasure your insides by another person’s outsides.” Thismethod of comparison, however, was the exact function thatFacebook served for me. If I found anything social involvingmy friends that didn’t include me on Facebook—invitations, pictures, anythingreally—I would be overwhelmed by a sense of despair. Even if I hadgone out both nights of the same weekend, it meant nothing about my relationshipsunless what appeared on Facebook was aligned with how I wantedto be perceived.When I don’t have anything spectacular and like-worthy to tell my“friends,” Facebook only aids me in beating my self-esteem with a two-byfour.For me, there is no space on Facebook in between being the best andthe worst. When I hear alcoholics share in meetings about the newfoundconfidence and self-worth they got from working the steps, I often don’t relate.I have certainly grown from working the steps as well: I don’t hate myselfand don’t want to die today; I don’t have to get a drink in me uponentering every social situation; I never wake up next to anyone besides myBreakthrough h at Caron Relationship ConferenceencOctober 26-October 27 | Philadelphia DoubletreeTheme: TransitionsEarn up to 12 CEUsboyfriend or my cat; I don’t tear my friends down behind their backs to feelprettier or smarter or more interesting; but despite the drastic turn my lifehas taken, I still struggle to like myself most days. Maybe my insecurity isthe demented child of my alcoholism and bulimia, or maybe it really is aneternal alcoholic affliction that nobody wants to admit.If I know that my self-esteem is so fragile that a superficial status updatecan change it dramatically, why, one might wonder, is Facebook still thehome page on my browser? I get that Facebook simplydoesn’t provide an accurate portrayal of anyone’s life. Whenit does feel real, I know to call another sober woman becauseusually just starting a sentence with the words “I saw on Facebook”reminds me of the triviality of my imagined deficiencies.My sponsor doesn’t have a Facebook page so she can’tunderstand why I continue to abuse myself by checking mineevery day. And I can’t bring myself to delete it. I say it’s becauseI want to stay connected with friends from afar, or Idon’t want to be forgotten from invite lists because of my non-presence onthe social network. But it’s also about control. It terrifies me that the worldwill keep spinning without me. As long as I have a Facebook page, I canmonitor everyone else, competing with their broadcasted accomplishments,showing them how far I’ve come since passing out on their bathroom floors.It’s the same delusion of control that I maintained while drinking—that refusalto let go in spite of obvious evidence that it was only hurting me becauseI was convinced that if I did, I would be destroyed by my feelings.What happened to me after getting sober, however, wasn’t destruction. Withsobriety came freedom from the awful bondage of the bottle and baggie.Maybe someday I’ll be willing to find out if deleting Facebook brings similarrelief. But I’d like it even more if I could learn to like myself enoughwithout having to know what everyone else thinks.”This annual 2-day event is for individuals and professionals interested in relationship dynamics.Industry experts will address issues surrounding relationships and how they affect life transitions.Featuring nationally-known experts speaking on the following topics:Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D - Sex Addiction and its Impact on the FamilyBabette Rothschild, MSW, LCSW - Trauma and ShameAnn Smith, MS, LPC, LMFT, NCC - The Legacy of Addiction in the FamilyMichael Howard, EdD - Transitional Issues of Contemporary Military FamiliesOther topics will include: Remarried, Recommitted and Blended Families The Crucible of Parenthood When Finding One’s Bliss Strains Your Relationships Maintaining Intimacy through ConversationThe Veil of DysfunctionFor more topics and additional information,visit www.BreakthroughAtCaron.org/Conference2012Exhibitor, Sponsorship and Advertising Opportunities availableailableQuestions? ContactYvette Rehr, Event Coordinator, at yrehr@caron.org or 800.678.2332, ext. 6432Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 16 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netIt’s all aboutthe people atMalvern InstituteIt is our goal to ensure you feel welcomedand that you know we are glad you havereached out for help. We will guide youand your family by providing you theutmost excellence in treatment, as youbegin the process to lifelong recovery.Welcome to Malvern Institute!Our Philosophy: Malvern Institute believes intreating the patient as an individual. The key torecovery lies in accepting the nature of the disease.The 12-step approach to recovery is proven,effective, and an invaluable part of our program.We believe that by providing our patients with acomplete understanding of addiction, they willchoose the path of lifelong recovery.Malvern Institute is located in historical ChesterCounty, set in a one-of-a-kind, small-townvillage in southeast Pennsylvania, approximately18 miles west of Philadelphia. Pleasecall or visit us to seek help or information foryourself or a loved one that is suffering with thedisease of addiction.MALVERN INSTITUTECOUNSELING CENTERS■ BUCKS COUNTY■ CHESTER COUNTY■ LEHIGH VALLEY■ MONTGOMERY COUNTYMALVERN INSTITUTEMAIN CAMPUSCHESTER COUNTY940 West King Road, Malvern, PA 19355You will be able to speak to one of ourtrained professional admission staff 24hours a day, seven days a week, 365 daysa year. Courtesy transportation can beprovided for inpatient treatment.MALVERN INSTITUTE’SINTAKE CENTERcall us: 610.647.0330WE ACCEPT MOST COMMERCIAL INSURANCES.CALL FOR MORE INFORMATION.ftiWWW. MALVERNINSTITUTE. COMEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 17Great Thoughts by Great ThinkersA successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks othershave thrown at him. - David Brinkley … Action is the foundational key toall success. - Pablo Picasso … I honestly think it is better to be a failure atsomething you love than to be a success at something you hate. - GeorgeBurns … Cleverness is not wisdom. - Euripides … Don't aim for successif you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.- David Frost … Good nature is worth more than knowledge, morethan money, more than honor, to the persons who possess it. - Henry WardBeecher … Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. - ThomasJefferson … If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem asa nail. - Abraham Maslow … Everything that can be counted does not necessarilycount; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted. - AlbertEinstein … Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. -William James … Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvestlater. - Og Mandino … Character is like a tree and reputation like ashadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - AbrahamLincoln … A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea liveson. - John F. Kennedy … Conversation about the weather is the last refugeof the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde … One of the greatest diseases is tobe nobody to anybody. - Mother Teresa … A sure way to lose happiness,I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else. - Bette Davis …Anything you're good at contributes to happiness. - Bertrand Russell …All things are difficult before they are easy. Thomas Fuller … All the artof living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. - HavelockEllis … Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it isstored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain … Faith is takingthe first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin LutherKing, Jr. … Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve innerconflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. - Karen Horney… Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you holdwell. - Josh Billings … Even if you fall on your face, you're still movingforward. - Victor Kiam … If you don't design your own life plan, chancesare you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have plannedfor you? Not much. - Jim Rohn … A 'No' uttered from the deepest convictionis better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoidtrouble. - Mahatma GandhiEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 18 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netGazette’s Humor PageSPOTLIGHT ON COMEDIAN STEVEN WRIGHTI can levitate birds but nobody believes me. - I was going 70 miles anhour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..."- I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I like to say, "Sooo,how far did you THINK you were going anyway?", or "Put on your seatbelt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can doit." - My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare theneighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to getout of my yard or I'll throw it at them. - I made wine outof raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age. - WhenI was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box.I was an only child... Eventually. - [Referring to a glass ofwater] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. - Curiositykilled the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. - Igot a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one . . . It wasn'tdoing what I was doing. - I bought a dog the other day.I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. "Come here, Stay!Come here, Stay!" He went insane. - I hate it when myfoot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up allnight. - When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did yousleep good?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." - Why is the alphabetin that order? Is it because of that song? - If the pen is mightier than thesword, in a duel I'll let you have the pen! - Why is it, "A penny for yourthoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making apenny. - Do you think that when they asked George Washington for IDthat he just whipped out a quarter? - I put my air conditioner in backwards.It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposedto be hot today.” - There's a pizza place near where I live that sells onlyslices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air. - I wentto this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape ofa Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the tablewould move across the floor to it. - I went to a restaurant that serves"breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.- I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anythingspecifically. - I was in the grocery store. I saw a signthat said "Pet Supplies." So I did … softly. You should haveseen the weird looks I was getting. - I went to the museumwhere they had all the heads and arms from the statues thatare in all the other museums. - I wrote a song, but I can'tread music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a whileI'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might havewritten that." - When I was crossing the border intoCanada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said,"Well, what do you need?" - I used to work in a fire hydrantfactory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - My friendhas a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him whathe meant. - The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid ofwidths. - I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. - Ibought a record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the recordgot stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish - I put a new enginein my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 350 MPH.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 19an evening of clean andsober comedyLivengrin’s 46th Anniversary ShowBenefiting Treatment Programs for Police, Firefighters, EMTs and Combat VeteransStarring Ross Bennett(Clubs coast-to-coast, Comedy Central’sTough Crowd with Colin Quinn)and Jesse Joyce(NBC’s Last Comic Standing, Tonight Showwith Jay Leno, Comedy Central Roasts)Saturday,September 15, 20127:30PMGateway CenterBucks County Community College275 Swamp Road, Newtown PA18940Limited Premium seats.....$75General seats ....................$50Tickets: www.livengrin.org/funnyAll seats reserved, first-ordered basis215-638-5200 x 310Proceeds benefit the services and charitable care of FRAT: First Responders Addiction Treatment ProgramEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 20 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.net“Goombah Logic”A Column By John P.Self WillSelf-will leads us to make decisions based on manipulation, ego, lustand false pride - we forget and think if we can just get enough food, sex andmoney then we'll be satisfied and everything will be alright. Of course,many of us have read this in the basic text of NA; I'm not gonna give youthe chapter or page for those who just might need to read a little more. Itjust seemed strange in some of my reading last month that it all came backto self-will, so after about the 4th reading I figured my Higher Power istalking to me. I always say that is God's way of saying hello. I’ve had manyhello's in this recovery and sometimes I answered back with a “yo!” andothers I answered back with "I know". I do remember asking a priest atone of the retreats up in Malvern, “how do I know what's God's will forme?” For the first time a clergy person said to me, “God's will for you isthe 12 steps.” Did he just say that, did he just tell me I don’t have to go tochurch and confession? Finally the difference between religion and spiritualitymade sense.Now I realized all the stuff I had learned as a kid – stuff that I always feltwas God's will for me - like having to be Holy {can you imagine, me Holy!}was not necessarily what I thought. Now it was to live by the 12 Steps. Thechurches and religions and all the rituals that go along with them can be appliedin my 11th step, to improve my conscious contact. So now I havesome direction. Now I don’t have this battle in my head anymore. I used toworry, “is this God's will or mine”? Now I just check out what I am basingthis decision or action on.Stuff that I like, like money, lust and other things are also a problem whenit comes to God's will. I always struggle with money and financial insecuritylike many of us do but when will it be enough? Do I need a million dollars?I'm no idiot and would love to have a million dollars but will I be filled orsatisfied? Probably in some ways, yes! But won't it open the door to a millionother issues? We always want what's best for us and we go for it, that’swhat recovery's all about. Not just the physical but the emotional and spiritual.I will and have made mistakes in my recovery but the beauty of thisprocess is that not only with my Higher Power but with the unconditionalfriendships I have that it's "Thy will , not mine, be done.”“The Love You Take is EqualTo The Love You Make.”“Soberoo - StayingClean & Sober atBonnaroo”When you think of the Bonnaroo festival—which took place in June, ona 700-acre farm in Manchester, Tenn.—the first thing that comes to mind ismusic, and the second is often drugs or alcohol. It may not seem like thefriendliest place for sober folk, so it was a pleasant surprise to find HaroldOwens of MusiCares—an organization devoted to helping musicians inneed of medical care and addiction recovery—sitting in a tent labeled, “forfriends of Bill W.” in the musicians' area. He tells visitors, “Whenever youwant to have a meeting, we’ll have a meeting.” A few hours later in the tent,Walt, a kind-eyed man in his 60s, shared about the beauty of being presentfor his job and for the music, and his gratitude for sober support at Bonnaroo.This was MusiCares' first time at Bonnaroo, but it already holds meetingsat Coachella, Sasquatch!, the Warped Tour and elsewhere. On the other sideof the gates, among massed Roo-ers decked out in multicolored feathersand face paint, was Soberoo—which describes itself as “a group of cleanand sober music fans who choose to remain drug- and alcohol- free at Bonnarooand other music festivals.” Volunteers handed out yellow stickers saying“Another Dopeless Hope Fiend” and “One Show at a Time.” Yellowballoons floated above the tent as a welcoming signal, visible from all overthe festival. At 4pm on Saturday, raising their voices above the Celtic punkband Flogging Molly, who were playing nearby, about 60 people shared ina crowded tent. They repeatedly expressed gratitude for being able to experiencethe music they love soberly, with the support of Soberoo. “I trulybelieve I can do anything and go anywhere as long as I don’t drink or use,”said one shirtless man in his 20s, his face shiny with glitter. “That obviouslyincludes Bonnaroo now. Knowing there’s a meeting here gives me the freedomand confidence to do what I want.” Others said how happy they werethat the meeting has grown from just a couple of dozen people in the campgroundsto a large tent in the more accessible main area. Leaving the tent,the Soberoo crowd melted back into the sea of blissed-out festival-goers,swigging water and heading for the next show. To quote Soberoo (whichisn't AA-affiliated): “Dude, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannotchange...”.{Ed. Note; For fans of the Grateful Dead offshoot bands like Furthur,there are similar meetings run by the “Wharf Rats”, named after a popularDead song. For fans of the group Phish, there are meetings at their concertsrun by a group called appropriately, The Phellowship”!}Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 21An IntervIew wIth “Freebo”{Ed. Note; When The 12 Step Gazette has an interview with somebodythat is in recovery, it should be either someone who is well known or someonewho is an “expert” in issues of sobriety. In this case, Freebo is famousto some and probably unknown to many others. When I was young in theearly 70's we used to go to concerts all the time at Philly venues. I rememberBonnie Raitt playing some great blues and her bass player, Freebo, hadthis big afro and an imposing stage presence... plus, he played a fretlessbass which we hadn’t seen before. Hearing he was in recovery piqued ourcuriousity and lead to the following interview}:Gazette Guy: Well, Freebo, as you may have guessed the main mission ofThe 12 Step Gazette is to talk about addiction, alcoholism and recovery.Not so much the knowledge and the steps butmore the social part. Trying to keep things interestingand entertaining. When I saw yourname in a recovery context, I got excited andhoped for this interview. So thanks.Freeebo: You're welcome.Gazette Guy: This isn't the first "musician inrecovery" interview I've done. The last guy wasclean and sober but it seemed like he hadn'tmade a meeting in years. So, my first question“Then” is this; "If I asked you, "Are you in recovery?"what would you answer?"Freebo: I would say recovery is a long ongoing process where we are neverrecovered but I am more recovered today then I was years ago. And, bythe way, I just got my 20 year chip!GG: Congratulations and that answers the other question - do you ever goto meetings.Freebo: It's important for me to keep in contact with the program and thatI continue to follow the 12 steps and take a daily inventory of what kind ofperson I've been. The thing for me though, Bruce, is that no matter whatprogram you're in, NA, AA, CA or OA we're all dealing with the sameproblem; what is it that we use to fill our hole...what is it that we use tocover our stuff.GG: Absolutely.Freebo: We have to ask ourselves what is it that I've been covering up?As I peel the layers I start to see there's more not 'beyond the program' butalongside of recovery. I've been reading books by Eckhart Tolle, about livingin the moment and having a conscious contact with a power greaterthan ourselves. I call that spirituality. I know people who go to meetingsevery day and share the same thing all the time and they really don't seemto be recovering.GG: I hear you.Freebo: I'm not Nazi AA who thinks that AA is the only way to get "there"{spiritually recovering}. But for me, AA was certainly the gateway thatlead me on that path.GG: So you kind of crashed and burned and went to AA?Freebo: Yep.GG: It's so funny because me and all my friends used to look up on stageat musicians at concerts (we went like every week it seemed, between theSpectrum and The Electric Factory). We would think, "unlimited partying,no problems, etc." Boy were we wrong. Let me fire another question atyou; "Do you have a sponsor?"Freebo: "Actually, at the moment I don't have a sponsor".GG: {Interrupting} Oh, our readers will love that... “Freebo, I'll sponsoryou - call me!" they'll be shouting as they read this.Freebo: At this point I do I alot of other work. I have guides, I have thiswoman that I go to who in ways is more than a therapist - it's raised consciousnessstuff. Not raised consciousness - I didn't mean that. That soundsso pretentious. What I really mean is that I’m just trying to live in the moment.To totally not live in the past.GG: Yea, I did pick up on the consciousness stuff from your website.Freebo: And I don't want to limit myself by saying that I'm an alcoholic soI will be sober but I'm kind of limited becauseI have this label - I want to go beyond someof that.GG: In other words, our ears hear what ourmouth says. If we say, we're an alcoholic oraddict and we're clean and sober and that's allwe say, we're thinking that is the end game.Freebo: Exactly.{We then talk about the fact that misery andpain in recovery are ok if they are in the formof growing pains, but eventually we should bemoving on to some kind of enlightenment}Freebo: Like in The Promises.“Now”GG: It's funny you mention them. I go back to them all the time. One I'mthinking about lately is "fear of financial insecurity", etc. etc.Freebo: My favorite is, "We will intuitively start to know how -GG: {Interrupting} I know! I love that one too. You just stole it right outof my mouth.Freebo: {continuing} - how to handle situations which heretofore baffledus.GG: Yes. How about this idea; That as we get older, I just turned 60 andI would guess you're in that neighborhood, too, that growing older mixeswell with the stuff we learn on our recovery journey. I noticed with my fatherthat as he got, and still gets, older he seems to get more and more "wisdom".Freebo: One thing that hit me was the bumper stickers - living life on life'sterms was one that got me. Let me throw one at you and please put this inthe article. I was worried about my creativity if I stopped smoking pot (Iwas smoking every day along with the drinking). I believe we're all creativepeople. Even though I was playing bass for some pretty big namesand had plenty of stage time, nobody seemed to listen to my ideas. A lotof that had to do with being the bass player in other people's bands. Afterpointing the finger at them, and three pointing back at me, I knew I had toface my fears and start writing songs.GG: Becoming a singer-songwriter. (I start to apologize for the label buthe goes, "no, that's exactly what I am.")Freebo: I began to work on facing my fears, to put myself out there. Anddo it without drinking and smoking weed. Actually, I'm a better player,singer and writer being clean and sober.The interview went on and we talked about feelings, other stuff and hisnewest cd, “Something To Believe”; check it out. One cut we loved was“In The Afternoon Heat”. Visit his website www.freebomusic.com.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 22 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netPhilly’s Recovery High SchoolA Q&A with the founder, Rebecca Bonner.How did The Bridge Way School come about?Rebecca Bonner: My daughter developed an addiction her freshmen yearin high school, and her father and I were looking for post-treatment optionsfor her. We knew she shouldn’t return to her prior high school. I discovered“recovery schools” in a Google search. I didn’t know that such a thing existed.Unfortunately, none existed in the Philadelphia area. As an educatorand parent, the idea of a recovery school just made sense to me. My daughterwas in college by the time we opened our doors, but we are now here sothat other families won’t have to go through what ours did to find a goodschool option after treatment.How is the school set up?Rebecca Bonner: We are licensed as an accredited independent day schoolby the state of Pennsylvania. All of our teachers are state-certified. We alsohave a clinical director who is in charge of running our recovery supportprogram. At present, we have two full-time and six part-time staff. We’refunded by donations and tuition entirely. In this first year we’ve been ableto provide 70% of our students with financial aid and we’ve served 11 students,3 of whom are graduating.What makes a school a recovery school?Rebecca Bonner: At the most basic level the school is a safe environment.We know that 8 out of 10 students who return to their high-schools aftertreatment relapse, whereas students at recovery schools stay sober on average8 times longer. That’s a real difference for teens, 262 days versus 30.Each day starts with a morning check-in and meditation. We read from theAA Big Book or a 12-Step meditation book, and the kids are given a chanceto report on their evening and morning. Four times a week, the kids havegroup. And at the end of the day, kids also have a check-out session to articulatewhat their plans are for the rest of the evening, such as treatment ormeeting activities. Much of the school’s success comes from the kids supportingeach other. They call each other on stuff in a way that is much moreeffective than the adults around them could ever do. Recently we heard ateen say, “You know, I hung out this weekend with some friends who I usedto use with.” And one of the kids said, “Did you pick up?” The kid said,“No, I didn’t pick up.” The other kid responded, “Well, you know if youhang out in the barber shop long enough, you’re gonna get a haircut.” I thinkone big difference at Bridge Way is that we respect honest dialogue likethat; we respect the process of recovery.The Bridge Way School is located in Manayunk, Philadelphia. For moreinformation call 267.437.2194, visit www.TheBridgeWaySchool.org oremail info@thebridgewayschool.org.Demi Moore Next Trainwreck?Demi Moore’s daughters have been byher side during her traumatic collapse ather home, then throughout her rehab stay,but RadarOnline.com has learned that thegirls are increasingly worried about theirmother and her recent behavior. “Rumer,Scout and Tallulah are growing apartfrom their mother lately,” a source closeto the family and her ex-husband, BruceWillis, told a reporter (when asked aboutDemi’s relationship with her children).“They’re really worried about everythingshe is doing lately and they’re getting mad at her. Demi has been doingthings that make them worry that maybe she isn’t staying sober and they’renot happy about her behavior."The last thing these girls need is dealing with their mother going throughyet another episode." The girls were all together at Tallulah’s high schoolgraduation last month where Demi showed up looking very skinny in a shortblack dress. “Things were really tense at the graduation,” the source says."Demi did not look healthy and did not seem in a good place. All three girlsare concerned she may have relapsed." (Thanks to Radar Online.)More Celebrity “News” - Brett Butler and Charlie Sheen have a lot incommon. Both actors starred in sitcoms created by Chuck Lorre. Both hadrun-ins with Lorre. Both had substance-abuse problems that led to their departuresfrom said sitcoms. Both share the same manager. And now bothare on the same new sitcom on FX: “Anger Management,” debuted at 9p.m. Thursday, June 28. Butler, 54, plays a recurring role as a bartender,dispensing jokes — along with drinks and advice — to Sheen’s deliberatelyironic role as an anger management therapist. “I knew I wanted her on theshow,” said Sheen. Butler, a stand-up comic, broke into TV in a big way in1993, starring in her own ABC comedy “Grace Under Fire,” playing asharp-tongued single mom. But her addiction to painkillers impacted theshow and led to its premature demise after five seasons.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 23Mark Sigmund’sWhatever happened to Synanon?The notorious West Coast rehab center known as Synanon flourished duringthe open-minded 1960s and bad-trip 1970s, when it seemingly wasabout nothing more than helping bottom-of-the-barrel addicts recover fromalcohol and narcotics abuse. Not only was it influential in the treatment ofaddiction, it also serves as a spiritual touchstone—and a cautionary example—for modern-day AA meetings that have been branded as cults, includingboth exposed and more-or-less definitive examples (Washington, DC’sMidtown Group) and those that are much more open to debate (LA’s PacificGroup). Synanon was founded in 1958 by Chuck Dederich, a former salesmanfor the oil and aerospace industries with a knack for publicity and sloganeering.Armed with catchphrases of his own creation like “Today is thefirst day of the rest of your life,” Dederich developed an early version ofthe group called the “Tender Loving Care Club” in the down-at-heel LAbeachfront burg of Ocean Park. He soon renamed it Synanon, a neologismcombining togetherness (“syn”) with the unknown (“anon”). The organizationwould later move into a massive, hotel-like structure on the sands ofSanta Monica, with rooms for addicts to recover from whatever substancesplagued them. (This and other key details are taken from Paul Morantz’sdefinitive history, The Story of Synanon.) The main thing Synanon offeredits addicts was talk—the humbling testimony of fellow group membersabout the trials and temptations of using, and the slow struggle to recoverfrom a life of addiction. Synanon was different from Alcoholics Anonymousin that it explicitly catered to drug-users as well as to drinkers. But as a formermember of AA, Dederich was happy to adapt a number of the fellowship’smethods—removing the addict from baleful influences, confessionaltestimony, group cohesion—as the therapists used to say, “Here we can getdrunk with ideas.” "Despite the egalitarian veneer of Synanon, founderCharles Dederich was always the father figure, Big Kahuna, Boss ofBosses." This and other ego/cultish/Hollywood influences eventually leadto its downfall. An exerpt from a story By J.D. Dickey (Courtesy of The-Fix.com) Visit www.TheFix.com for the full story entitled “The Dark Legacyof a Rehab Cult”.Achieving BalanceLately, I have noticed that I spend way too much time on the internet,and checking my cell-phone. I know that I am not alone with this problem!Between Facebook, email, and checking the news, I spend too much timewith my eyes glued to an electronic screen. I have noticed unmaneagabilityin my life because of this behavior. As recovering people, we can be verycompulsive. It is very easy to get lost in addictive behaviors as an attemptto escape reality. However, these behaviors can take away from our serenity,and drain valuable energy from our recovery. It is important to take adaily inventory, and look to find balance our lives. Addiction is all aboutlosing this balance, and perspective. We lose ourselves in obsession andcompulsion. Whether we struggle with compulsive sex, eating, shopping,or other behaviors, we should keep in mind the destructive nature of thisdeadly disease. Somebody once told me, "It doesn't matter which seat youtake on the Titanic, you are going down anyway!" As you know, we canget addicted to all kinds of things besides drugs, which in turn can leadback to using. For instance, I had a friend who started compulsively gamblingwith 15 years clean. Sadly, his life became so unmaneagable in recovery,that he started using drugs again two-years later. This summer, weshould all try to balance out our lives, and put the extra energy into positiveareas. For me, I plan to spend more time in nature, absorbing it's beauty,rather than surfing the web!Mark Sigmund is a counselor at Rehab After Work.10 Hints You Might Be An Alcoholic1 You lose arguments with inanimate objects.2 You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling offthe earth.3 Job interfering with your drinking.4 Your blood sample looks like a pink martini.5 All your friends are in A.A. or in rehab.6 When you can focus better with one eye closed.7 When vomiting becomes a relief.8 Every woman you see has an exact twin.9 You fall OFF the floor.10 The parking lot seems to have moved while you werein the bar.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com


www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 25More Cool HoMegroup NaMesAnother installment of this popular column brings us to San Franciscoand some clever AA homegroup names. But before that, one interestinglocal name we missed last time was submitted by Jennifer B.- there's an NA group in Levittown, Pa. called, “Soul Surgery”[Deep!]Now for some AA meeting names in San Francisco: “Chips & Salsa”(I'm guessing 30,60,90 chips, not nachos); While we're on that pun,there's another cool one, “Chips Ahoy”. Here's a typical Frisco soundingname – the “Mellow Mission Sunrise” group of AA. Ah, rememberthe singing group, The Mamas and The Papas? How about thisname, “Monday Monday”. No need to say what day of the week thatmeeting is held! How about an inner city AA group by the name, “GitCha Sum” - true story! Ok, if you're politically correct you better skipthis next AA group name - “Queers, Crackpots and Fallen Women”.If you're a big baseball fan, you'll get this Frisco connection; the “SayHey Group” {Willie Mays, great San Francisco center fielder wasknown as 'the Say Hey kid'.} Back to music again? How about the“Manic Mondays” group {a song by The Bangles}. More music? The“Wharf Rats” (name of a song by San Francisco's own, The GratefulDead). How about a movie reference? This has nothing to do withMacy's or Santa Claus, the “Miracles (Way) Off 24th St.”. This nextbunch made me think Bill W. was reincarnated; “Monday Tea WithBill”, “Monday Coffee With Bill” and “Monday Book Study WithBill”. Apparently, Dr. Bob takes over for Bill on Thursdays with the“Big Book With Bob” meeting.Frisco AA had so many cool home group names (and some mysteriousones) that we're just going to list a bunch without too many ofmy fancy comments. Here goes: “Hitchhikers Guide to AA”, “ExtremeMakeover; Women's Step Study”, “All You Need is Love”,“Relapses, Rebounds, Retreads and Winners”, “AA As You LikeIt”, “Looney Tunes” , “A Is For Alcohol”, “True Believers”,“Giddy Up”, “Raising The Bottom” (a young peoples AA group),“Dumping Grounds” and this threatening name, “They Don't KnowWho We Are” {I think that's Clint Eastwood's home group LOL}.There's a Wednesday meeting called, “Mid Week Sanity”. How aboutthis humble, keep it simple name - “Just Alkies”. Do you like 'oldschool' slogans? How about, the “Ass In A Bag” meeting. Troublewith the higher power concept? Try “Atheists, Agnostics and Others”or the “Agnostics and Freethinkers” groups. There's a “Rule 62”meeting in almost every city and Frisco is no exception. They earnthat right with these next two meeting names, “Wombley's ClapboardFactory” and “Cocktail Hour”.In case you think we’re making this stuff up, just go to Frisco's AAintergroup meeting directory...that's where I got them. And they keepcoming – the “Coven” group of AA, “Hoodlum Haven” (make sureyou lock your car outside that homegroup!); they're not all crazy names.Here's a really cute one - “The Little Meeting That Could”. Or a veryappropriate “Amazing Grace”. Then there's “Pay It Forward” andthe “Epiphany” group. This issue we didn't even have time for SanFrancisco NA home group names (which weren't half as creative astheir AA brothers and sisters), so let's finish out with some of the restof their AA home group names. We forgot the 'kid friendly' “ParentTrap” meeting. The artsy “Creative Alcoholics” and “Artists andWriters” groups. Don't forget the last two which kind of go hand inhand; the “How Was Your Week” and “Cocoanuts” Saturday meetings.See you next issue for more fun!Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 26 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netCool ReCoveRy SayingS and PoPulaR aCRonymSSeven Days Without A Meeting Makes One WeakINTIMACY = In-to-me-I-see Nothing Changes If Nothing ChangesSuccess comes from doing what you need to do, Failure from doing what you want to doNUTS = Not Using The Steps EGO = Easing God Out GOD = Good Orderly DirectionWhat is the “ism” in Alcoholism? Incredibly Short Memory!SPONSOR = Serene Person Offering Newcomer Suggestions On Recovery“We can't control the wind, we can only adjust our sails”Recovery House Listings Pages 26, 27, 28 & 29Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 27Detroit Recovery House’s Bold Paint JobThe Detroit Recovery Project enjoys a close relationship with governmententities, with funding for its recovery housing and community initiatives comingfrom a combination of federal, state and local sources. In 2008 the organizationreceived donated property from Wayne County, Michigan, to establish a recoveryhome for men in the Detroit-area community of Highland Park, but that waswhere the organization’s fortunes took a turn for the worse. After $25,000 ofrenovations to transform a dilapidated two-story home into a four-bed residencefor men emerging from addiction treatment, the Detroit Recovery Projectlearned it had run afoul of Highland Park’s local ordinances. At issue in particularis a brightly colored mural painted along an entire side of the house, emblazonedwith the words “Recovery Starts Here”; CEO Andre Johnson says anartist in long-term recovery translated his vision into artwork designed to empowera community beset by drugs and violence.[Apparently the local community wasn’t as impressed by this as we were atThe 12 Step Gazette - although it does lack anonymity.]Recovery House Listings Pages 26, 27, 28 & 29Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 28 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netStopping All The Lies"This above all - to thine own self be true." – William Shakespeare.We tell ourselves a great many lies. That much is fairly universal among allof us in recovery. Maybe that’s because we’ve spent so many months andyears hiding from the truth, keeping the truth from others, and racing againsttime to keep everything from spinning out of control. Let’s not forget thatold habits – including lying to ourselves and others – die hard. Sometimes,we’re so used to telling lies that we begin to believe them ourselves. Thatis really sick if you think about it. We're not talking about being pickledand deluding ourselves – we're talking about being totally clean and soberand believing our own lies.Eventually our lying in recovery catches up with us. When we come faceto face with reality and the lie no longer works, it can be quite disconcerting.Lying to others is bad enough but we can at least try to stop lying to ourselves.We need to square off against our lies and half-truths and begin tolive life in the real-time of unflinching truth. We learned that lies just didn’tcut it, and that a recovery based on lies was destined to fail. We have discoveredthat we don't really need to deceive our friends and family – theylike it when we're honest. Plus, it works much better for us! It’s time tostop telling ourselves things that we think sound good or telling others versionsof the truth that aren't really honest. Being true to ourselves and toothers is, after all, the very foundation of recovery.Recovery House Listings Pages 26, 27, 28 & 29To Advertise Your Recovery HouseCall Bruce at 215-317-8774 oremail inquiries to 12stepgazette@comcast.netEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 29Why 12 Step Recovery Works...cause they help with a major issue in alcoholics: memory deficits. I was a“I heard a really interesting lecture the other day on the "scientific" reasonsthat the 12 step programs help people with alcoholism and drug addiction.{Ed. Note, Author of this article is unknown}. I wanted to share itbecause I think it’s powerful stuff, and recently I saw an op ed in the WashingtonPost that essentially dissed 12 step programs as ineffective. My firstresponse when people say, "If it’s so great, why do people relapse?" is – sowhat. People get cancer and have reoccurrences, some cancers only have a20% or less cure rate. Do we stop treating cancer? No, we save the peoplewe can. Some people with diabetes learn to control their blood sugar, somedon’t – it’s both biological and behavioral, very similar to addiction. Doesthat mean that treatment failed? Or that treatment only works for some people,in particular those willing to change their behavior sufficiently to getreal results?Anyhow…there were two aspects of the lecture that caught my attention.The first was how the steps and staying in a day at a time are effective be-little freaked out – sheesh, does that explain why I have such a crappy memory.Apparently, yes. Alcohol damages the memory, and it’s long term. Youmight not end up a pudding head, but you are likely going to forget things.One area where the deficit is pronounced is in what is called "prospectivememory" - which is essentially, remembering to remember – or rememberingto do something you planned to do. With the structure of the 12 stepsand such repeated mantras as one day at a time, 90 meetings in 90 days, callyour sponsor – it’s a lot harder to forget what you need to do that day. Thesteps are a progression – do this first, then this, now do this. It’s perfect forthe person who has trouble remembering what they’re supposed to do next.The second aspect is something called altruism. There have been some studiesshowing active addiction decreases altruism. Essentially, when you’reusing you’re self-centered. Oh yes. We know that! So the service aspect ofthe program fixes that issue too – by asking people to give back, and makingit a central part of recovery, recovering people rebulid their ability to be empatheticand altruistic - essential elements for healthy relationships.”Recovery House Listings Pages 26, 27, 28 & 29Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 30 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netNA EventsEvery Saturday Night @ 9:00PM - Saturday Night Dance atThe First Unitarian Church - 21st and Chestnut - $5 Admission- Proceeds from the dance go to support the Greater PhiladelphiaRegional Convention of Narcotics Anonymous XXVIIAugust 10th - 12th - Greater Philadelphia Regional Conventionof Narcotics Anonymous XXVII - DoubleTree-HiltonHotel – Valley Forge (formerly known as the Dolce Hotel & Resort)301 W. DeKalb Pike, King of Prussia, PA - ConventionPre-Registration $20.00 until June 30, 2012September 3rd - Annual Bucks County Labor Day Picnic -Tyler State Park. 11am to 6pm. Food, Fun, Fellowship. 101Swamp Road Newtown, Pennsylvania 18940, Look for signsEvery Sunday & Monday – Cocaine Anonymous - The CAmeetings that were held at Expresso Yourself are now held atThe Stepping Stones Clubhouse (4945 Friendship St). Sunday’sat 12:00pm - 1:30pm. Monday’s at 7:30pm - 9:00pm.Every Saturday @ 6pm - 7pm - Tune to 900 on the AM dial forRecovery Radio Personality Rick Ford’s show.Every Monday @ 12PM - Takin’ it 2 Another Level Show -Recovery Radio show @ www.stop-recoveryradio.comEvery 1st & 3rd Thursday of each month – G.R.A.S.P (GriefRecovery After A Substance Passing) Support Group- Heldat PRO-ACTs Southern Bucks Recovery Community Centerstarts at 6:30PM. Contact PRO-ACT 215-788-3738 for info.Suicide Anonymous Meetings - Tuesdays 7:00 - 8:00 PM - TheStarting Point Counseling Center - 215 Highland Avenue - SuiteC Room 25 - Westmont, NJ 08108 (Camden County) - Fridays7:00 - 8:00 PM - Hampton Behavioral Health Center (in thecafeteria) 650 Rancocas Road Westampton, NJ 08060. For moreinformation call: Janet at 856-266-0709 or Phil at 856-220-0032SOBERSTOCK 3 - Saturday Sept. 1st - 12pm to 8pm? - SnipesFarm - Food, Fun, Fellowship, Live Music. A benefit to helppeople get into treatment. Arts & Crafts, Vendors, Bonfire afterdusk. Great fun for all ages. For more info see ad on Page 7 orcall Doug @ 267-718-4702.Livengrin Alumni Association is now meeting the third Sundayof every month, 7:15PM at the Bensalem Main Campus - Formore information please contact Laura at 215-638-5200 x164AA EventsAugust 24-26th - PENNSCYPAA XXIV (Pennsylvania StateConference of Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous) will beheld at the Penn State Conference Center Hotel, 215 InnovationBoulevard, State College, PA 16803. www.pennscypaa-xxiv.org.September 13-16 - 54th ICYPAA (International Conference ofYoung People in Alcoholics Anonymous) will be held in St.Louis, MO at the Millennium Hotel St. Louis, 200 S. 4th Street(63102). 1-800-325-7353. For more information, email contact@icypaahost.org. You must register online at icypaahost.org.Chronic Pain Anonymous - Meets every Tuesday @ 7:00PM inthe cafeteria of Valley Forge Medical Center and Hospital, 1033West Germantown Pike, East Norriton, PA 19403.PRO-ACT Recovery Walks! 2012 - Saturday Sept. 22nd - GreatPlaza, Penn’s Landing. For more details see ad on Page 24.Debtors Anonymous Meeting - Thursdays 7:15PM-8:15PM -Starting Point, Westmont, NJ - For Info: Judy P 856-482-6892Every Wednesday @ 7:30 PM - Bristol-Bensalem Nar-AnonMeeting - St. Thomas Aquinas Church 601 Bristol Pike (Rte13.) Croydon, PA 19021 - Enter meeting from rear of church.Every Saturday @ 11AM - GreySheeters Anonymous Meeting(To stop overeating compulsively) - Located at Starting Point -For Info Call Pam @ 856-307-1988Starting Point, Inc. - 856-854-3155 - Westmont, NJFree Wednesday Lectures at 5:30 and 7:00PMCODEPENDENCY SERIESJuly 18th: Steps 6,7,8 & 9 – The Cornerstone Steps of LifeJuly 25th: Steps 10, 11 & 12 – Living A Spiritual Journey in LifeTHE HIGHER POWER CLUBAugust 1st: The 4H Club – The Higher Power JourneyAugust 8th: Honesty – The 1st Key to Discovering Your HigherPowerAugust 15th: Humility – The 2nd KeyAugust 22nd: Humor and Healing – The 3rd KeyFor a full list of free Starting Point meetingsvisit their website at www.startingpoint.orgEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 31Livengrin Holding Fundraiser For Treatment Of First RespondersTop Recovery Comics will be in concert September 15 in a benefit forpolice, firefighters and vets challenged by addiction and suicide. A dramafreeevening of laughter will raise funds for first responders in treatment foralcohol and drug addiction. Livengrin’s 46th Anniversary Show takes placeon Saturday, September 15, 2012 at 7:30PM. The location is the GatewayCenter at Bucks County Community College in Newtown, PA. Proceedsfrom the comedy concert are dedicated to services and charitable care inFRAT, the groundbreaking First Responders Addiction Treatment Programat the nonprofit Livengrin Foundation. Headlining are comedians who covermany topics in their routines, but always touch upon their personal storiesfrom before and after recovery. Ross Bennett has appeared for thirty yearsin clubs nationally and abroad, and has been seen on Tough Crowd withColin Quinn, on cable’s Comedy Central. Jesse Joyce has appeared onNBC’s Last Comic Standing and the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and wasa longtime writer for the Comedy Central Roasts. Tickets go on sale on Friday,July 13, at the Livengrin website: www.livengrin.org/funny, which willfeature clips of the comedians. Public information is available at 215-638-5200, ext. 146. FRAT provides rehab, outpatient and aftercare services topolice, firefighters, EMTs and combat veterans challenged by alcoholism,drug dependency, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicide. “The cultureof first responders is so macho, so closed, that admitting the need for help,and getting it, has been very difficult,” says Andy Callaghan, a full-timePhiladelphia officer who is one of the managers and interventionists forFRAT. “Suicide among police is at an all-time high nationally, and almostall police suicides are related to alcohol or drugs. Prescription drugs for onthe-jobinjuries, those drinks at the bar after a shift with the guys, the PTSDthat affects vets and all responders, are taking a terrible toll. “FRAT is aspecial effort to reach out to these people who put themselves on the lineevery day and deal with tremendous stress.” More than 120,000 people fromall walks of life have begun their path to recovery from alcohol and drugs atLivengrin Foundation of Bensalem, PA, now in its fifth decade of treating adisease that affects one in four households in Pennsylvania and costs thecountry $400 billion a year. Since 1966, Livengrin has been a premiere nonprofitprovider of high-quality treatment and recovery from substance abusein the Philadelphia region. The Foundation’s scope encompasses residentialrehab, medical detox, dual-diagnosis, DUI, outpatient and family programs,and specialized tracks nurses, first responders and adolescents.See Ad On Page 19 For More Details On This Great Event!Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 32 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netFinding A Balance In Our LivesAfter we have been clean and sober for a nice period of time (let's say 6months), a common problem starts to develop for most of us – how to keepa balance between recovery and our family or work life. If you think thisisn't a problem for you - just wait, you'll see. Before we get into some ofthe details of this dilemma, let's take a look at the most famous case we canthink of; that of the founder of AA, the one and only Bill Wilson. The storygoes that after he had been sober for awhile and AA was “upand running", his wife Lois said this great line; "You werenever around when you were drinking and now you're soberand you're still never around!" For anyone who has a family(whether their spouse is or isn't in recovery), this quote shouldbe framed and hung in the living room. The story continuesthat Lois Wilson started Al-Anon (itself a world wide fellowship)to find other spouses of alcoholics who were having similiarproblems balancing meetings with home life.The first challenge we probably come up against is how many meetingsto make in a week? Let's say enough that you feel connected ("pluggedin"). We usually need to ask some people in recovery for advice on this - ifwe trust our own "still broken" thinking, we could be in trouble. We shouldkeep in mind, however, that if we build a really strong foundation in recovery(making tons of meetings and friends the first year and getting involvedin a home group and the 12 steps), we could ease up a little and maybe spendsome time with our family or work some overtime to help solidify our jobsecurity. This whole concept of balance is a touchy subject. One thing thatalways seems to happen to us in recovery is that we wind up getting "heavierinto" the side of the balance sheet that we like more. For example, if welove meetings and hanging out with people in the fellowship we are probablygoing to overdo it. It's natural to lean towards doing what we loveAccess to Treatmentthat WorksWith three convenienthighway exits+especially when we can justify it by saying; "Well I need to be totally involved- I don't want to relapse!" That's fine if we're not short-changingother areas of our lives. But if we are we need to take a look at it. Sometimesthe total opposite is true. Many people in recovery aren't that thrilledabout meetings or getting involved in 'the program'. They have forced themselvesto do it but they would rather stay home with their spouse or kidsand kick back and watch a basketball game. Or sometimes inan even worse case scenario, they choose to relax after workby themselves and watch television. This can often be dangerousfor recovering people. It's okay for us to take care ofourselves (quiet time is important), but we must rememberthat 'an addict alone is in bad company'!Here's another famous problem: we start to make moneyagain. I know a heck of a lot of independent contractors whohave gotten clean and sober, became dependable and productiveand couldn't pull themselves off of a job at 7:00 pm to get ready for ameeting. Once we get back on our feet the tendency to make up for losttime (and wages) is strong. Plus we are obsessive and compulsive people.Once we get into ANYTHING it's hard to pull ourselves away from it. Sowhat do we do ?We have to start by being honest with ourselves. If we're not making asmany meetings as we need - we know it. If we're working too hard or gettingobsessed with making money - we know it. If we're hiding out in meetingsbecause we don't feel like facing some issues at home - we know that too.Once we make up our mind to take a look at this issue of balance, we mayfind that we need only a little tweak here or an adjustment there and we'llfind that it's not so difficult to achieve a workable, comfortable balance inour lives.Since entering treatment at our brand new state-of-the-artfacility at Huntingdon Valley, 87% patients report Emotional Improvement 87% report More Control in their lives 87% report a more Positive Attitude 83% report Improved Health 79% report Improved Family Relations Others report experienced Improved Employmentwith Medication Assisted TreatmentContact or visit Discovery House today. Exit thehow we treat every patient like a guest in our own home.DiscoveryHouseThe Center for Recovery & Hope215.947.4100 2755 Philmont Ave., Huntingdon Valley PA www.DiscoveryHouse.comEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 33Gazette Guy’s“WORD UP!”Finding A Healthy FixI was thinking about how much I love listening to, talking about and experiencingmusic. It’s downright incredible. Then I was thinking abouthow we use drugs and alcohol (and food, gambling, sex, money, etc.) tomake ourselves feel better. My conclusion is that “Thank God there arehealthy ways to feel really good!” Now I'm not talking about the normal,everyday ways we might feel good in our recovery. Since we've gottenclean and sober, there have been many payoff moments. Times when wefelt really great. Perhaps a family member who used to be very pessimisticabout our behavior gives us a really nice compliment about how well we'redoing. Maybe we help someone or a sponsee says, “thanks – you reallysaved me!”. Or maybe we opened the door for someone or let a car go infront of us (rare the way we drive – LOL) and we felt good about becominga nice citizen, finally.No, I'm not talking about all those ways we get to feel really good. I'mtalking about being upset or bored or, or maybe even wanting to celebratesomething and consciously going into our “bag of tricks”and pulling outour favorite fix (for lack of a better word). For me, it's music. For othersit could be shopping, praying, cooking, going to the park, going fishing,jogging, etc. etc. The main thing I'm trying to say is that I'm really gratefulto have at least one healthy fix. Almost everything else in my life I willoverdo to the point of it backfiring on me – but not music. Not usually.[Although I have had times when I've been so obsessed with finding certainmusic tracks on the internet for downloading, that I've worked myself upinto a big “bummer” (to use an old 60's word).] Music seems to be the onething that gets through deep into my head where my diseased thinking is.It can permeate bad moods and it can get my mind off of all kinds of crazythings. “People” aren't always that effective when it comes to understandingmy idiosyncrasies. But music seems to be that “friend” that can not onlyunderstand me but fit right in with my craziness!Another fix that I use that I'm kind of embarrassed to admit is anger. Iknow that I wasn’t always like this but lately I've noticed when things gowrong I tend to get angry. Sometimes I get angry at the people around me(whether it's their fault or not) and sometimes I get angry at myself. Andoh how I love to pull out that blamethrower. Yes, it's this huge crazyweapon I use to lash out at life's frustrations. I guess we all need somethingto turn to when our emotions kick in hard and for me it looks like I haveone healthy one and one not so healthy one. Oh well, there's always somethingthat needs fixing in our never-ending recovery process.Hilarious podcasts from the world of recovery on the West Coast. Not to be missed!Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 34 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netNew Bill Wilson Documentary ReleasedThe AA co-founder had to wait 40 years after his death for an upcloseand personal documentary, complete with a never-before-seenarchival trove. The filmmakers explain what took so long. In 1999, AAco-founder Bill Wilson was listed by Time magazine in its “100 Personsof the Century” issue. Amazingly, however, we have very little on filmabout his life and work. There are two Hallmark productions: 1989’sMy Name Is Bill W., which tells his story, and 2010’s When Love Is NotEnough, which tells the story of his wife, Lois Wilson, a co-founder ofAl-Anon Family Groups. There’s a 1946 “March of Time” newsreel,with photos or footage of AA’s offices but not of the man himself.Enter producer Dan Carracino and director Kevin Hanlon (both ofPage 124 Productions) who, way back in 2003, became fascinated bothby Bill’s story and by the phenomenon of AA. Almost a decade in themaking, the movie can be seen in some theaters today. {What followsis a portion of their interview with Heather King for TheFix.com}Heather: Neither of you are alcoholics. Why Bill Wilson?Kevin Hanlon: Dan and I have been friends since high school and alwayswanted to make a film together. About eight years ago we got seriousabout it and at that time I just happened to be reading ErnestKurtz’s book about AA history, Not-God. I found it to be a page-turner—from the first scene where Kurtz describes Bill W. and Ebby [Thacher,an old drinking buddy of Bill’s and, by some accounts, his eventualsponsor] sitting at the kitchen table in front of a bottle of gin. I wantedto know who this guy was and what happened.Dan Carracino: So much is hanging in the balance that afternoon [inthe lobby of the Mayflower Hotel in Akron where, on May 12, 1935,Bill made the fateful phone call that led him to Dr. Bob]. Granted, maybehe finds sobriety somewhere else, but he probably doesn’t find Dr. Bob.The entire history of alcoholism and its treatment changes that afternoon.Kevin: The thing about Bill Wilson was that he didn’t have AA in frontof him. He was the person who had to map all of that out. He was theonly person who could never become just a run-of-the-mill member ofAA. He couldn’t get the full anonymous benefit, or gift, of it. Bill W.sacrificed his personal wants and needs far more than most people inAA are aware of.Dan: We interviewed almost 70 people for the film and I think less than20 make it into the film. One who does is Bill White, who wrote Slayingthe Dragon. He knows a lot about the history of recovery. AA is not thefirst society where two drunks sit down and talk to each other and staysober. There’s a whole bunch of societies that pop up from about 1840on, but no one can ever keep it together long term. A lot of these societiesbecome cults of personality, and the second the founders die, thesegroups die. And what Wilson was able to do is to recognize his ownshortcomings—and that there’s nothing unique about them, as odd asthat sounds. I think the guy is a unique individual, but he knows howvery human he is. And he’s able to codify his own flaws so that otherpeople will recognize them within themselves, and then we get the 12Traditions [in addition to AA’s famous 12 Steps], which truly allow AAto survive beyond him. There’s nothing like it before him, where youget an articulation of not only how to find sobriety, but how to stay together.Story By Heather King (Courtesy of TheFix.com)Visit www.TheFix.com for the full story.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

www.12stepgazette.com July/August 2012 Page 35“And now a word from our sponsors...” Word SearchPuzzle Answers on Page 36The Two Circles Are Exactly The Same ColorOptical IllusionsmaryvillecarondianerealtyemiliehouseguardianhorshamlakesidelivengrinnewfreedompetesclownhseseesthedaystartingpointpalmpartnerscolleenterradjsautofairmountharmonykadillactatsrawmalvernnewpathleoflynnselfhelpabouttimedenscoeleventhstepfreshstarthealyblindskeystonelighthousenetreatmentourmophronasdreamsoberstockThis Is Really A Totally Flat SurfaceEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

Page 36 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netThe 13Th STep - preying On newcOmerS“I met Chris at this big Friday night meeting in Hollywood—whichis pretty much like a bar without alcohol,” says Laura, a 31-year-oldmarketing executive. “He had 13 years, and I had about one month.”She ignored her sponsor’s suggestion to avoid him and the two went outon a couple of dates. The last time we hung out, he tried to have sexwith me, and I refused. He broke it off the next day.” In 12-step programs,there is a term for this: 13th stepping. It's when someone withmore than a year of sober time hits on a person with less than a year.Puzzle Answers From Page 35And it can be perilous. Says Melody Anderson, a therapist at Hazelden,“It creates a differing power ratio where someone is gaining power oversomeone who is weaker, and it can endanger both of their sobriety. Theone thing I always want people to realize is this is not a gender thing.All sexes and gender preferences can be predators.”Theo, a production assistant who’s been sober for eight years, addsthis; “When I had a few months sober, I started seeing a girl who hadover two years,” he recalls. “It had been easily over a year since I hadany connection to a female and my sponsor told me that that if I wasgoing to start dating in A.A., I should be honest and have fun but I didn’tneed to be in a relationship.” Theo followed the advice and, through dating,“learned how to be honest with a woman. I started to discover howto communicate with the opposite sex.”For many in early recovery, flirting can be an important part of theexperience in learning how to connect with other people. Says Vivian,a newcomer to A.A., “I have 90 days now, and my sponsor keeps tellingme that I should wait a year and spend this time working on me. ButI’ve recently met some cute guys in the program. My last years drinkingwere really dark and lonely so it’s been nice. There is that fun side to it,and then there is that sleazy, not cool side.”So how can newcomers decipher healthy flirting from inappropriateadvances? “If you’re not sure you should be speaking to someone, reachout to your sponsor or someone of the same sex, and ask their opinion,”she says. “We must have another pair of eyes”. Many in A.A. havefound, ultimately, that the 13th step is far less important than the 12 actuallyrecommended. Laura perhaps puts it best. “Once I stopped focusingon the guys and started focusing on the steps and being in A.A.,everything changed,” she says. “I got sober. And I stopped datingsleazebags.”Excerpt from a story By Kristen McGuiness(Courtesy of TheFix.com) Visit www.TheFix.com for the full storyEmail: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

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Page 38 Issue # 36 To Advertise, Call 215-317-8774 12stepgazette@comcast.netHoroscopes For July & Aug. 2012Aries (March 21 - April 19) - JULY - Your main focus in July, dear Aries,is work and family. Only towards the end of the month are you feelingmore sociable and playful. Turn your attention to domestic matters. Buildingyour nest figures strongly now, but so does getting organized. AU-GUST - Dear Aries, eclipses in August highlight friendships, romance,and children. These are big themes in your life this month and in monthsto come. New beginnings are in store, whether this means a fresh start inexisting relationships or new ones altogether!Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - JULY - Romance has recently become arather serious matter for you. Responsibility and maturity are themes thisyear when it comes to your pleasure-seeking and romantic life. This mayalso be true of relationships with children. This month, these areas of yourlife pick up speed. Love intensifies and having fun is a priority. AU-GUST - Eclipses in August highlight family and career for you, dearTaurus. You’re required to do a balancing act, and something big is in theworks! Romance is strong from the 5th. In fact, your charm is very strongthis month.Gemini (May 21 - June 20) - JULY - Money matters come into focus foryou in July, dear Gemini, when discussions and ideas about finances andmaterial security figure strongly. You may be tempted to spend extramoney on things that will make your life more comfortable and pleasant,and work that needs to be done in and around the home becomes a priority..AUGUST - An extremely busy month is in store for you, dear Gemini.You are expanding your horizons in August, either through contact withpeople from an entirely different background than yours, travel, or higherlearning.Cancer (June 21 - July 22) - JULY - July is a power month for you, dearCancer. It’s time to go after what you want with confidence, although positivesituations seem to just fall into your lap regardless. Opportunities toincrease your income find you this month, and you are likely to receivegifts and other favors. AUGUST - Eclipses in August set up a strongtheme surrounding money, sharing, and intimacy for you, dear Cancer.Getting your finances on track will be necessary. Relationships with siblingsand acquaintances are very strong in August.Leo (July 23 - August 22) - JULY - Life winds down for you in the firstthree weeks of the month, dear Leo, and you are able to get the rest youneed before the power weeks ahead. Although closing projects and withdrawinga little from the busy pace of your life is in order, you are highlymotivated to make money. AUGUST - A power month is in store, ifyou use the energies of the Solar Eclipse in your own sign wisely, dearLeo. You feel a great need to push your personal interests and projects forward,and this is a strong time to do so. However, mid-month, a partnercould take issue with your displays of independence. The exact problemmay be unclear at first.Virgo (August 23 - September 22) - JULY - Friends and lovers take priorityfor most of July, dear Virgo. The 18th brings eye-opening experiencesin your romantic life. Your energy is seemingly boundless this month, savefor some tension around the 10th. Others might be surprised by your abilityto assert yourself and your needs. AUGUST - Your personal appeal andmagnetism soar from the second week of the month, dear Virgo. August isa month when gifts and rewards come to you, as well as opportunities toexpand your horizon through travel, a broadening of your “audience” ifyou have one, or higher studies. Career offers could also arrive now, andthe 16-17 is a particularly auspicious period for such matters.Libra (September 23 - October 22) - JULY - Career matters take centerstage for most of July, dear Libra. You possess extra charm and verve inyour professional life. Behind the scenes projects also capture your interest,even if your life feels very public just now. Strong opportunities for loveand fun occur on the 6th, 13th and 14th. AUGUST - New friendshipsand group associations are likely to come about in August, dear Libra. Alternatively,new discoveries about your current friendships enliven yourmonth. Around the 16th, emotional issues surrounding creative projects,romance, or children captures your attention, but wait things out beforejumping to any conclusions.Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) - JULY - Even if you don’t have solidtravel plans, dear Scorpio, your mind is certainly focused on “getting awayfrom it all” in July. Socializing takes priority in your life. You have recentlybecome very serious about your long-term goals, and this month you areespecially motivated to put your plans and dreams into action. AUGUST- Eclipses this month necessitate changes in your profession and domesticlife, dear Scorpio. Now and in the next few months, finding a balance betweenyour public life and your private life is necessary.Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) - JULY - You pour more energyinto self-promotion or business activities this month, dear Sagittarius.While you are generally showing patience and developing strategies inmost areas of life in July, impatience is likely when it comes to your professionallife. AUGUST - Educational goals, travel, and contact withpeople from an entirely different background than yours are big themes inAugust for you, dear Sagittarius. This month, you are learning about yourneed for self-expression through adventuresome activities, but a scurry ofactivity involving short trips, paperwork, and errands mid-month can preventyou from getting away from it all.Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) - JULY - Negotiating and oneon-onerelationships figure strongly for you in July, dear Capricorn. A loveaffair may become a little more serious now. Spending time with someonespecial is a focus. Your intimate life is especially pleasing starting fromthe 12th. AUGUST - Eclipses in August promise a busy and sometimeshectic month, dear Capricorn. Money, insurance, taxes, and possessionsare important topics for you now.Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) - JULY - Taking care of business isa focus this month, dear Aquarius. Practical matters are especially strongon the 6th, 14th, and 22nd, when you have opportunities to increase yourincome or influence on the job. Still, conflicts with a partner over valuesor personal possessions are more likely to occur this month. AUGUST- Eclipses this month affect you and a partner directly, dear Aquarius,making for a busy and meaningful month. Much chatter between you anda significant other, or about close relationships, occurs in the first weeksof the month.Pisces (February 19 - March 20) - JULY - You are enjoying a pleasurepeak in the first few weeks of July, dear Pisces. Romantic relationshipsheat up, and partnering matters become very lively. Conflicts are likelypart of the picture, but generally lead to greater mutual understanding--and they certainly make for a lively time! AUGUST - New beginningson the job front feature in August, dear Pisces. Health and fitness mattersare prominent this month, as you develop new strategies to organize yourlife and structure your routines. Lots of chatter surrounding work goalsand routines figure, and taking some time to get perspective and avoidstress is wise.Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net Phone: 215-317-8774 Website: www.12stepgazette.com

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