A Sadomasochistic Transference - Beth J. Seelig, MD
A Sadomasochistic Transference - Beth J. Seelig, MD
A Sadomasochistic Transference - Beth J. Seelig, MD
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incorporates the maternal viewpoint along with the maternal object, but as<br />
differentiation takes place between self and object, the child must also separate its<br />
point of reference from mother's. Father, by representing a different view of the<br />
mother, the child, and other<br />
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people, customarily provides an alternative point of reference for the individuating<br />
toddler.<br />
Normal development can nonetheless take place in single-parent families<br />
(regardless of the sex of the parent), with alternate modes of promoting<br />
intrapsychic triangulation. The mother herself (or father) can validate the child's<br />
own perceptions and point of view while presenting another, separate parental<br />
perspective. This requires that the parent be able to "mirror" the child without<br />
overidentification or projection, a task that is frequently impossible for someone<br />
with significant problems of his or her own stemming from the rapprochement<br />
subphase. Or, some other important person may serve the function of providing<br />
another viewpoint.<br />
The child incorporates the father's (or other's) viewpoint with the object, and<br />
is then faced with the task of integrating the different ways of seeing the world of<br />
objects and of self. If these are too disparate, the task may be impossible, and the<br />
child then learns to suppress one of the incompatible images. In the case of Miss<br />
T., failure to move from the dyadic to the triadic with relative comfort appeared to<br />
be the result of three intertwined mechanisms: she was enmeshed in a<br />
sadomasochistic dyad with her mother; her mother actively interfered with her turn<br />
toward the father; the father did not make himself available for triangulation.<br />
Miss T.'s basic sense of herself was that of a "bad girl" who raged against her<br />
mother. Miss T. could not move fully into a positive relationship as a refuge from<br />
the hostile relationship with mother, as this had always led to worse trouble and<br />
the fear of complete deprivation. Her longing for a father surrogate to rescue her<br />
was repudiated out of an unconscious and conscious (painful) conviction that she<br />
could never be happy in any intimate relationship, and moreover would risk the<br />
wrath of the maternal figure, her only safety in a dangerous world. The<br />
sadomasochistic bond with mother and later with the analyst, however painful,<br />
offered Miss T. a sense of connectedness,<br />
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although it had to preclude other involvements. Moreover, if she moved away<br />
from mother, the secret narcissistic pleasures of the roles of victim and phobic<br />
partner would have to be given up. The only choice, other than the formation of