A Sadomasochistic Transference - Beth J. Seelig, MD

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in addition to their role in narcissistic regulation, erotization of suffering, stabilization of self-esteem. Surrender and masochism, domination and sadism, then, are "perverse" characterological adaptations that preserve some remnant of mutuality. (We use the term "perverse" here as analogous to the perverse sexual solution in which sexual pleasure is preserved, though at a high cost.) <strong>Sadomasochistic</strong> pathology allows the individual to maintain intimate though distorted human contact. Failure of Triangulation Distortions in the rapprochement subphase often have negative implications for the future development of triangulation. As is stressed by Atkins (1982) and by Galenson and Roiphe (1976), the mother can either facilitate or impede the establishment of - 986 - the early triangular configuration. Galenson and Roiphe (1976) have observed that if a little girl's rapprochement subphase has been particularly difficult, she will form only a shadowy oedipal romance with father, one that lacks the usual verve. For these girls, the highly ambivalent maternal bond appears to preclude the normal early turn to the father or any third person. In his articles on preoedipal triangulation, Abelin (1971), (1975) elaborates the important role of the father in the separation-individuation process and describes the individuating child as seeing itself in a "dual mirror" of father and mother. Mahler and Gosliner (1955) have described the father's role in the separation-individuation process as intervening between mother and child to aid in the child's differentiation from the symbiotic mother. Father provides a safe object for the individuating child, a refuge when the "mother of separation," imbued with the child's projected aggression, is too threatening. Herzog (1982) describes difficulties in modulation of aggression in children who have been deprived of their fathers by divorce. The special role that the father can serve in enhancing the daughter's self-esteem is described by Ross (1988), and his role in either fostering or inhibiting her later creativity has been reported by Tessman (1989, unpublished). How does the individuating child learn to "see" itself in the "dual mirrors" described by Abelin? How does the child integrate its reflection in the maternal and paternal mirrors, and what happens if one mirroring parent is missed and or distorts? Worse yet, what if one parent is virtually missing and the other consistently misreads the child's cues and provides a distorted reflection, as was the case in Miss T.'s childhood? In early childhood, the mother helps mold the infant's perceptions of self and other. One could say, she presents the child with her "point of view." The child
incorporates the maternal viewpoint along with the maternal object, but as differentiation takes place between self and object, the child must also separate its point of reference from mother's. Father, by representing a different view of the mother, the child, and other - 987 - people, customarily provides an alternative point of reference for the individuating toddler. Normal development can nonetheless take place in single-parent families (regardless of the sex of the parent), with alternate modes of promoting intrapsychic triangulation. The mother herself (or father) can validate the child's own perceptions and point of view while presenting another, separate parental perspective. This requires that the parent be able to "mirror" the child without overidentification or projection, a task that is frequently impossible for someone with significant problems of his or her own stemming from the rapprochement subphase. Or, some other important person may serve the function of providing another viewpoint. The child incorporates the father's (or other's) viewpoint with the object, and is then faced with the task of integrating the different ways of seeing the world of objects and of self. If these are too disparate, the task may be impossible, and the child then learns to suppress one of the incompatible images. In the case of Miss T., failure to move from the dyadic to the triadic with relative comfort appeared to be the result of three intertwined mechanisms: she was enmeshed in a sadomasochistic dyad with her mother; her mother actively interfered with her turn toward the father; the father did not make himself available for triangulation. Miss T.'s basic sense of herself was that of a "bad girl" who raged against her mother. Miss T. could not move fully into a positive relationship as a refuge from the hostile relationship with mother, as this had always led to worse trouble and the fear of complete deprivation. Her longing for a father surrogate to rescue her was repudiated out of an unconscious and conscious (painful) conviction that she could never be happy in any intimate relationship, and moreover would risk the wrath of the maternal figure, her only safety in a dangerous world. The sadomasochistic bond with mother and later with the analyst, however painful, offered Miss T. a sense of connectedness, - 988 - although it had to preclude other involvements. Moreover, if she moved away from mother, the secret narcissistic pleasures of the roles of victim and phobic partner would have to be given up. The only choice, other than the formation of
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A Sadomasochistic Transference - Beth J. Seelig, MD

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