A Sadomasochistic Transference - Beth J. Seelig, MD

gratification from their sense of victimization, though he points out that many
neurotic character formations serve such narcissistic functions.
While Cooper emphasizes the narcissistic repair of masochistic pathology, he
stops short of elucidating another important function—the preservation, albeit in
distorted fashion, of connectedness and mutuality. It is here that Stern's concepts
on the developmental process become important, focusing as they do not only on
the child's need for increasing individuation, but also on its ongoing need for
attunement, intersubjective communication, and mutual recognition with the
mother. In her work on masochism, Benjamin (1989) points out that such an
emphasis on mutuality "reintroduces the idea of pleasure, pleasure in being with
the other, which had gotten lost in the transition from drive theory to ego
psychology—but redefines it as pleasure in being with the other" (p. 31).
In the course of development, then, the child seeks not only autonomy (as
emphasized by Mahler), but also relatedness, mutuality, and mutual recognition (as
emphasized by Stern). The achievement of authentic mutuality depends not only
on recognition of the self (by the other), but also on the child's recognition of the
other as separate. Benjamin (1989) presents an eloquent discourse on how the
normal evolution of mutuality may sometimes be subverted by distortions in the
mother-child dyad. For example, the mother may be unduly sensitive to a baby's
unresponsiveness: "The mother who giggles, jokes, looms and shouts 'Look at me!'
to her unresponsive baby creates a negative cycle of recognition out of her own
despair… Here
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in the earliest social interaction we see how the search for recognition can become
a power struggle: how assertion becomes aggression… The child loses the
opportunity for feeling united and attuned, as well as the opportunity for
appreciating (knowing) his mother. He is never able to fully engage in or fully
disengage himself from this kind of sticky, frustrating interaction… Even as he is
retreating he has to carefully monitor his mother's actions to get away from them:
even withdrawal is not simple." Benjamin concludes: "In a negative cycle of
recognition, a person feels that aloneness is only possible by obliterating the
intrusive other, that attunement is only possible by surrendering to the Other" (p.
28). Put another way, autonomy only seems possible through domination of the
other, while mutuality only seems possible through submission. Depending on the
specific pathological interaction, one may see masochistic or sadistic distortions as
an adaptative maneuver aimed at preserving autonomy or mutuality or, as in the
case of Miss T., both (Person, 1988); (Benjamin, 1989).
Our formulation is consonant with Cooper's, but we suggest that
sadomasochistic defenses are mobilized to preserve mutuality (however distorted)