A Sadomasochistic Transference - Beth J. Seelig, MD

She associated, "It's just like my life; I can't get on my feet and nobody is
helping." She went on to talk about the fact that she was a much worse driver
when E. was with her in the car and that when she skied with him, she always fell
down. When she skis with her mother, her mother is the one who falls, and she the
one who stays upright. By the end of the session she was screaming hysterically
that she was always rejected and that she could not stand it anymore.
Perhaps it was the growing therapeutic alliance that allowed Miss T. to reveal
the largely asexual nature of her relationship with E. and to subsequently
"discover" a pile of homosexual magazines hidden in his closet. When confronted,
E. admitted to having a secret homosexual life. Their relationship became
progressively stormier and lasted only a short while longer. As it turned out, this
relationship appears to have cloaked a reenactment of Miss T.'s relationship with
her mother (with Miss T. alternately cast in the role of her younger self or of her
mother under a manifestly heterosexual disguise). When she left E., it was to live
alone for the first time in her life. (It was not until much later, when the intense
early mother-child material had been worked through in the transference, that she
was able to form another relationship with a man that included more than just
sporadic sexuality.)
With her acceptance (albeit tenuous) of her analyst as an ally, the "terrible
things" she suffered began to be recounted in the analysis rather than enacted.
Session 224 followed a session in which she had talked about a man living next
door to her in her new building, who had put a welcoming note under her door,
inviting her to drop by. She had been suspicious and frightened and had not
responded to the note. She also felt very guilty over her "unfriendly" behavior as
she thought he was probably a nice person who was only trying to be friendly.
When the analyst pointed out the excessively punitive character of her selfdirected
recriminations, she became angry.
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Session 224
Miss T.:
The reason I got so upset yesterday was that I don't agree that you can
explain every behavior as if it's all O.K. Some things are not O.K. I don't
believe in making up excuses that justify me, especially at other people's
expense [pause]. Obviously, you are going to take my side, it's the only
side you hear. You'll act as if you don't care about right and wrong and
as if everything is acceptable, and it isn't! [cries silently].
Analyst:
What's scary about the idea that I'd be on your side?