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explicable. He would later deny that his conversion had ever been sincere : ‘if the
Roman Doctrines were like the Roman Music we should have Heaven upon Earth’,
was his often-quoted remark, usually interpreted to mean that his conversion was
purely for musical reasons. His letters of the 1790s, however, show a sustained, if
critical, engagement these same ‘Roman doctrines’. Unlike his brother, he was too
intellectually active not to take an interest the theological content of his new faith—
which is an equally possible reading of his statement. However embarrassed he may
have been forty years later, he was a thoughtful man and there is no reason to suppose
that he was not in earnest at the time. 43
In 1793 he would marry—disastrously—against his family’s advice,
formalising a ten year-old relationship with Charlotte Martin. Though a good friend
and companion, he may have been difficult to live with. While still an adolescent he
began to show signs of the mental instability that was to plague him throughout his
life. Growing increasingly unruly and violent (family letters speak of drunkenness,
staying out all night, and the physical assault of servants). At length his father was
forced to take the humiliating step of writing to Bishop Talbot, the Roman Catholic
Vicar Apostolic of the London district in a desperate appeal to bring his son under
control. 44 He seems to have suffered from what we would call manic-depression; at
times he was capable of an immense workload (which was necessary in order to
support his large family), at others he was subject to prolonged periods of incapacity.
Significant episodes occurred in the mid 1780s to early 1790s, around 1801, in 1816,
and in 1830 (which marked his effective retirement). Each meant the end of a part of
his career, and was followed by a slow recovery and the necessity of rebuilding his
career from scratch.
It has been usual to attribute this mental instability, as Wesley himself seems to
43 See Olleson, Wesley, pp.27-30.
44 Ibid., p.30-33.
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