The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University

PeopleThe social environment is at least as important as the physical environment.The people with whom we associate help define our selves. They encouragecertain behaviors and thoughts, and discourage others. They provide us withsupport or drain us of resolve. They help to label us by the way they interact withus: they give us a role in our communities. And in doing so, they influence theway we think of others and ourselves.People shape both our internal and external reality. If we want to haveinfluence on how these realities are shaped, we can do so by managing our socialreality. This involves being conscious of how people affect us. It involvesmindfully choosing to spend more time with those people who elicit the type ofthoughts, actions, and feelings that we want to experience, and reduce the time wespend with those people who reinforce those patterns we want to put aside. Forexample, when trying to stop smoking, it is helpful to spend time with nonsmokingfriends, or with smoking friends who have agreed to help you quit.People and places often interact in predictable ways. Spending time with afriend at the beach may result in a much different experience than spending timewith the same friend at a bar. So choosing the right combination of people andplaces can be the best bet in terms of managing your social reality.HMOR.July2005.Muñoz.doc 90