The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University

Being your own coach involves deciding what you want to do, and thengiving yourself directions so you are more likely to do it. For example, if you areworking on achieving a better mood, you might make it a point to check yourmood at regular intervals throughout the day. Ask yourself “How have I beenfeeling?” Then, “What have I been thinking?” If you have been feeling well,make a note (actually write down) the thoughts that have been going through yourmind, and keep them ready for a time when you are not feeling good. If you havebeen feeling down, notice the thoughts that have been related to that feeling, andsee if you can replace them with other thoughts, change them, or dispute them.(More on disputing thoughts in the next section.)Imagine having a particularly difficult morning, in which your mood isdragging you down, and in which you are having trouble doing the things you hadplanned to get done. At around 10 a.m., during a break, you ask yourself: “Howam I feeling?” And your answer is “Lousy! I am procrastinating, feeling resentful,and I don’t think I can’t get over this mood!” Usually, the morning might go onthe same way, so that by noon, you are still feeling lousy, haven’t accomplishedmuch, and are feeling even worse, because now you wasted the whole morning.Now imagine trying to be your own coach. Your answer at 10 a.m. is thesame, but now you begin to talk to yourself through a difficult morning:“OK, I am feeling lousy. And because I am feeling lousy I don’t think I canget started with what I have to do today.”“What exactly do I need to do? Get the materials from my shelf and putthem on my desk. OK, I can do that.” (You do it.)“I am feeling resentful about having to do this at the last minute. I shouldhave done this a month ago. I am so angry at myself for having procrastinated. Iam stewing in my own juices by thinking about how I always do this to myself.”HMOR.July2005.Muñoz.doc 76