The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University
The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University
The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University
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contact as desirable: a source <strong>of</strong> warmth, excitement, and security. As childrengrow and are able to choose with whom and how to interact, the key lessons arehow to pick playmates and friends who build them up instead <strong>of</strong> tearing themdown, how to elicit positive reactions from others, and how to prevent or reduce toa minimum negative reactions. At times when negative interactions areunavoidable, it is important to teach them how to reduce the effect <strong>of</strong> suchinteractions, and how not to attribute negative feelings entirely to themselves: thereare individuals who are vexations to anyone's spirit. Our social reality is one <strong>of</strong> themost important parts <strong>of</strong> our personal reality. Learning to appreciate it and activelybuild it so it is a source <strong>of</strong> strength for us is a major task in managing reality.- Learning to be rewarded by life. Adults are the primary source <strong>of</strong> rewardin young children's lives. <strong>The</strong> amount <strong>of</strong> positives they shower on the childrenthey care for will determine for these children their first impression <strong>of</strong> how goodlife can be. As the children mature, they can begin to reward themselves, at leastmentally. <strong>The</strong>y can begin to appreciate their accomplishments, the expression <strong>of</strong>certain traits, their ability to get through tough times, or to find enjoyable pastimes.For individuals to learn to manage their personal reality, it is crucial that they learnto reward themselves. Two aspects <strong>of</strong> the reward process are important: the totalamount <strong>of</strong> reward received, and the kinds <strong>of</strong> activities that are rewarded. <strong>The</strong>former determines how rewarding life is. To retain zest in life, it must have at leasta minimum level <strong>of</strong> reinforcement. If such reinforcement does not arrive naturally,it is important for the individual to arrange it. On the other hand, reinforcementhas an impact on behavior, and if we want to use this fact, it is important to learn toreinforce oneself for those aspects <strong>of</strong> one's behavior that one wants to strengthen,and to avoid reinforcing oneself for those aspects that one wants to reduce. <strong>The</strong>healthy management <strong>of</strong> reality, in terms <strong>of</strong> rewards or reinforcements, involvesHMOR.July2005.Muñoz.doc 59