The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University
The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University
The Healthy Management of Reality - Stanford University
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suffering to her life. So the total amount <strong>of</strong> suffering for person (A) is 200, and forperson (B) it is 100 points. Person (A) suffers twice as much, even though both <strong>of</strong>them have the same objective physical condition.Similar examples can be imagined in terms <strong>of</strong> such common situations asindividuals wanting to have a relationship and not being able to find someone withwhom to share their lives. Again, let’s say person (A) is single and would like todevelop a romantic relationship. So would person (B). Both <strong>of</strong> them aredisappointed that they have not found someone with whom to share their lives.Let’s say their disappointment causes a hundred points <strong>of</strong> suffering, because <strong>of</strong> nothaving something that they wish for. In addition, person (A) focuses on thoughtsabout his not being sufficiently attractive, <strong>of</strong> having bad luck, and <strong>of</strong> the limits thatbeing alone places on him. Person (B) on the other hand thinks about the freedomthat he has because <strong>of</strong> not being in a relationship, and the fact that he can do somethings which he would not be able to do or will not be able to do once he does finda relationship. He also thinks about the possibility <strong>of</strong> never finding someone withwhom to share his life in a romantic sense and develops images <strong>of</strong> himself as asingle person throughout his life. <strong>The</strong>se images include fulfilling types <strong>of</strong>experiences, perhaps travel, perhaps dedicating himself to a cause to which he candevote a lot <strong>of</strong> time, reading, and learning skills that bring pleasure to him. <strong>The</strong>total amount <strong>of</strong> suffering for person (A) includes both the suffering due to beingsingle person while wanting to be part <strong>of</strong> a couple plus the suffering <strong>of</strong> labelinghimself as being unattractive and limited by his situation. <strong>The</strong> amount <strong>of</strong> sufferingfor person (B) includes only the first part. <strong>The</strong> point, again, is that the total amount<strong>of</strong> human suffering is the sum <strong>of</strong> the suffering that is unavoidable plus thesuffering that we add ourselves by the way that we perceive our lot and the limitsthat we place on ourselves because <strong>of</strong> these perceptions. <strong>The</strong> latter part isHMOR.July2005.Muñoz.doc 39