NIKAH GANTUNG: - Association of Muslim Professionals

Making SenseKARYAWAN“ This point of view can be seen as the ‘Islamic solution’ for students in lovewho are concerned with the halal and haram aspects of gender interactionsand are already set in committing their lives to one another. Increasingly, wenotice this growing practice amongst students who are in love and want topreserve the “islamicity” of their relationships with the opposite sex. ”32This definition of nikah gantung,however, differs from the personalstudies conducted for the purpose ofthis article. Nikah gantung still remains,although it is practised in a different way,possibly because it has evolved overtime to adapt and suit the changingneeds of the community as well asto suit the changes in marital laws inSingapore where child marriages are nolonger legal.The Differing Concepts of NikahGantungMr Zawawi Buang, a 47-year-oldJavanese Workshop Instructor whowent through nikah gantung at theage of 21 is still happily marriedwith 4 children. He shares that thetemporary suspension does not onlyinvolve the temporary suspensionof the rights to consummation butalso the temporary suspension ofa proper marriage ceremony for astipulated period of time. This meansthat his concept of nikah gantung alsoinvolves postponing of the weddingor bersanding ceremony to a later date,usually for up to 2 years from the akadnikah ceremony. The reason for doingso is mainly to save up enough moneyto pay for the marriage ceremonyas well as the financial liabilities thatwould be incurred in living together,which may include the purchase ofa HDB apartment. As such, after theakad nikah ceremony, the marriedcouple will live in separate households,restricting their engagements withone another to that of a social, nonsexualrelationship. The husband isstill required to contribute part of hisincome to support the livelihood of thewife in accordance with the Syariah,although they may be living separatelyfrom one another. This act of livingseparately comes to an end once thebersanding ceremony is conducted. Assuch, the relationship after that evolvesto that of a typical husband and wife’s,where the husband is then allowed toconsummate the marriage.This concept of nikah gantung differsfrom the one held by Madam MariamAlias, a 46–year-old private tutor ofmixed Indian-Malay descent who wentthrough nikah gantung at the age of19 and remains happily married with7 children. Madam Mariam’s conceptof nikah gantung extends beyondworking adults saving up for thebersanding ceremony and the financialliabilities that would be incurred for amarried couple living together. In fact,Madam Mariam views nikah gantungas the ideal alternative to the datingculture prevalent among youths todaywhich may be a slippery path towardspremarital sex, modelling her ideasbased on the marriage trends of youthsin Saudi Arabia. As such, her conceptof nikah gantung revolves aroundthe idea of parents taking up theresponsibility to support the marriedcouple financially temporarily until thehusband is financially ready and thecouple is independent enough to liveon their own.© Association of Muslim ProfessionalsPermission is required for reproduction.

KARYAWANMaking SenseNikah gantung is atricky subject thathas not been studiedin great detail and itsdefinitions vary fromone individual toanother.33This point of view can be seen as the‘Islamic solution’ for students in lovewho are concerned with the halal andharam aspects of gender interactionsand are already set in committing theirlives to one another. Increasingly, wenotice this growing practice amongststudents who are in love and wantto preserve the “islamicity” of theirrelationships with the opposite sex.The Potential Problems of NikahGantungOn the other hand, it may be arguedthat this proposed solution may opendoors to even more problems, whichmay include the loss in the sacrednessof the marriage contract, as immatureyouths may abuse the circumstancesthey are offered and treat the marriagecontract lightly, resulting in thepossible increase in divorce rates.According to Ustaz Abdul RahmanShariff, a deputy kadi who has handledseveral cases of nikah gantung, itis often performed among youthswhom he feels have not yet achievedthe maturity required to carry out theroles of husbands and wives. It is alsosometimes practised among youths tocover up unwanted pregnancies.Besides the potential problems ofimmaturity and divorce, there aremoral and ethical considerations in thepractice of nikah gantung. Ustaz AbdulRahman says such a concept is foreignto the spirit of Muslim marriages,whereupon the signing of the marriagecontract, the husband is obliged tofulfil his obligations towards his wife,especially financially. He disagrees withthe notion that parents should bearthe financial burden of their children’smarriage as this is contrary to thefundamental clauses of a marriagecontract, forcing the parents to performroles that are not supposed to betheirs. This view is shared by Mr Zawawi,who argues that the suspension of thefinancial responsibilities of a husbandwould reduce the marriage institutionto that of a ‘legalised’ boyfriendgirlfriendrelationship. This shaky affairwould be made more complicatedshould the couple disrespect themutual agreement of restricting theirrelationship to that which is non-sexualin nature. This circumstance may lead to© Association of Muslim ProfessionalsPermission is required for reproduction.

Making SenseKARYAWAN34unwanted pregnancies, which wouldfurther add to the financial burden thatis borne by the parents. In addition, theyoung husband may not be maturedor responsible enough to anticipate hisnew role as a father to his children.Madam Mariam defends her ideaof nikah gantung, asserting that theprevention of sin is greater in value thanthat of divorce. In fact, divorce is neverconsidered a sin, whereas unlawfulgender interaction is. She furtheradds that the usage of contraceptives,common in today’s world, would helpto prevent unwanted pregnancies asdiscussed previously.A ‘Halal’ Alternative?Nikah gantung is a tricky subject thathas not been studied in great detail andits definitions vary from one individualto another. I am more inclined towardsthe arguments against nikah gantungas an alternative solution to unlawfuldating practices. This is becausemarriage should be guided by theethical principles of mutual love andcompassion, as stated in the Holy Quran,Surah A-Rum verse 30.relationships lawful via nikah gantungmay be to prevent the occurrences ofsin and premarital sex. However, to carryout this approach without consideringthe guiding principles of love andcompassion towards our parents wouldnot make our good intentions fullyaligned with the spirit of Islam. I amnot saying this is wrong. But the idea offormulating a practical way out seemsin contrast to the spirit of jihadun-nafs(the struggle against one’s desires) andthe Prophet S.A.W’s advice to performthe fast to quell the sexual urges if onecannot afford to marry.Nonetheless, nikah gantung remainsa debatable subject that is open tofurther scrutiny and analysis.The guiding principles of love andcompassion mentioned in this verse,in my opinion, are not only betweenthe couple, but extend towards theirparents as well. And how would loveand compassion be extended to ourparents if we are to burden themfinancially with our marriage? Indeed,the intentions of making our loveThe writer is a first year bioengineering undergraduate in the National University ofSingapore (NUS). He is also a member of the NUS Muslim Society.© Association of Muslim ProfessionalsPermission is required for reproduction.