February 2012 • - Nightwire Magazine

101. Wear sexy lingerie.102. Send your partner sexy websites by e-mail to let themknow you are thinking about them.Something to Offend Everyone!What is a Yankee?The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone._________________________________________Why is divorce so expensive?Because it’s worth it._________________________________________What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?Doughnuts._________________________________________Why is air a lot like sex?Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any._________________________________________What do you call a smart blonde?A golden retriever._________________________________________What do attorneys use for birth control?Their personalities._________________________________________What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?45 lbs_________________________________________What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?45 minutes_________________________________________What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?Through his chest with a sharp knife._________________________________________Why do men want to marry virgins?They can’t stand criticism._________________________________________Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring, and good-looking?Because those men already have boyfriends._________________________________________What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?After a year, the dog is still excited to see youWhat makes men chase women they have no intention ofmarrying?The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have noIntention of driving._________________________________________Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?Because they have cotton balls._________________________________________A BALLET BY JOHN NEUMEIERTICKETS: 412.456.6666 PBT.ORGArtists: Eva Trapp and Robert Moore Photo: Duane RiederFebruary 2012 •33