Keep yourchild safe.More than 60,000young children end up inemergency rooms everyyear because they gotinto medicines whiletheir parent or caregiverwas not looking.Always put every medicineand vitamin up and awayevery time you use it.Also, program your poisoncontrol center’s number inyour phone: 800.222.1222.To learn more, visitUpandAway.orgnotable voices familiar via other established bands yetin the end the local NJ connection would lead to MarkSunshine. The band began to look for shows locallybooking in NYC, Pennsylvania and New Jersey. The venueswould range from nationally familiar clubs such as AsburyPark’s Stone Pony to a gig in a Brooklyn loft. Touring forthe band would be another story. Each member still fulfilledtheir other musical obligations, most notably Jim and Bobbeing called out to tour with Monster Magnet, Howeverchallenging it may always be owing to scheduling -- touringis a given.RIOTGOD did its first mini-tour in 2009, hitting the roadwith fellow NJ rockers The Friends of Bill Wilson. RIOTGODwould visit the US mid-west and Canada, playing venuessuch as Chicago’s Double Door, Detroit’s Blondies,Toronto’s Bovine Sex Club as well as some lesser knowncolorful establishments along the way. RIOTGOD is nowback – with their second album. More straight, more rock,more stoner – more RIOTGOD.Invisible Empire Track Listing:1. Breed2. Fool3. Crossfade4. Slow Death5. Firebrand6. Gas Station Roses7. Tomorrow`s Today8. Saving It Up9. Loosily Bound10. Lost11. Hollow Mirror12. RebirthFor more info visit:http://www.riotgod.comhttp://www.facebook.com/riotgod999http://www.metalville.deIn partnership with the Centersfor Disease Control andPrevention (CDC)18<strong>•</strong> <strong>February</strong> <strong>2012</strong>
Humor by <strong>Nightwire</strong>Cold WinterThe Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter wasgoing to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, thechief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that themembers of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone boothand called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is thiswinter to be cold?”The man on the phone responded, “Thiswinter is going to be quite cold indeed.” So the Chief wentback to speed up his people to collect even more wood to beprepared. A week later he called the National Weather Serviceagain, “Is it going to be a very cold winter?” “Yes”, the manreplied, “it’s going to be a very cold winter.” So the Chief goesback to his people and orders them to go and find every scrapof wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the NationalWeather Service again: “Are you absolutely sure that thewinter is going to be very cold?” “Absolutely,” the man replies,“the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”Blonde SnowmanQ: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than aregular one?A: You have to hollow out the head.Flying SouthA bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left too late andwas frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down into a pastureof cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, andthe bird landed in it. At first he was disgusted, until he realizedthe poo was thawing him out! He started crying out for joy asthe ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walkedover, saw the bird and ate itThere are three morals to this story:1. Not everyone who gets you into s**t is your enemy2. Not everyone who gets you out of s**t is your friend3. If you are in s**t, keep your mouth shut10 Office Rules:1. Never walk without a document -- People with documentslook like hardworking employees headed to importantmeetings. People with nothing in their hands look likethey’re headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaperin their hand look like they’re headed for the toilet. Aboveall, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you atnight, thus generating the false impression that you worklonger hours than you really do.2. Use computers to look busy -- Any time you use acomputer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer.You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat andhave a blast without doing anything remotely related towork. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that theproponents of the computer revolution would like to talkabout, but they’re not bad either. When you get caught byyour boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defenseis to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software,thus saving valuable training dollars.3. Messy desk -- only top management can get away witha clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re notworking hard enough. Build huge piles of documentsaround your workspace. To the observer, last year’s worklooks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts.Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is comingto your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfwaydown in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/shearrives.4. Voice mail -- Never answer your phone if you have voicemail. People don’t call you just because they want to giveyou something for nothing -- they call because they wantYOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screenall your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves amessage for you and it sounds like impending work,respond during lunch hour when you know they’re notthere -- it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientiouseven though you’re being a devious weasel.5. Look impatient and annoyed -- According to GeorgeCostanza, one should also always try to look impatientand annoyed to give off the impression that you’re alwaysbusy.6. Leave the office late -- Always leave the office late,especially when the boss is still around. You could readmagazines and storybooks that you always wanted toread. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on yourway out. Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (i.e.9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.7. Creative sighing for effect -- Sigh loudly when there aremany people around, giving the impression that you areunder extreme pressure.<strong>February</strong> <strong>2012</strong> <strong>•</strong>19
![1E] ˆ - Nightwire Magazine](https://img.yumpu.com/31113718/1/190x245/1e-nightwire-magazine.jpg?quality=85)
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