(Good Manners/Etiquette) - The Message

PrefaceGood manners are appreciated universally in allreligions and cultures. But Islam has put greateremphasis on manners and has made it part of thereligious practice, to be exercised at every step of life.The Glorious Qur’an and the Ahadith of Rasulullah(Blessings and peace be upon him) containinstructions on manners (Adab in Arabic), some ofwhich are being described in this booklet underdifferent sub-headings for easy comprehension andpracticing. Exercising Adab in different situationsmakes a person praiseworthy and honourable in thesociety. Good examples of Adab encourage others tolearn and practice them.There is a Hadith of Rasulullah (Blessings and peacebe upon him) to the effect that once he said: I havebeen sent to teach you good manners (Adab).We hope our booklet will serve as a helpful handbookfor the readers of all ages and genders.Amir ZamanNazma Zaman4

When the name of a Sahabi(Companion) of Prophet Muhammad isspoken or heard, say: Radhiallahuanhu (May Allah be pleased with him)Sahaba is plural of Sahabi, meaningCompanions.In case of a female Companion (Sahabia)say: Radhiallahu anha (May Allah bepleased with her)While starting any activity, say: Bismillah(I am beginning it in the name of Allah)6

When something strange is heard, say:Subhanallah(Allah is Holy, Allah is Great)To express gratitude to anyone forsomething good/nice done to you, say:Jazakallahu Khairan(May Allah grant you better rewards)When entangled in a problem, say:Tawakkalullah (I depend upon Allah)8

(a) to behave politely with others;(b) to treat others or decide matters withjustice (Insaaf);(c) to pay, repay whatever is due to others ontime.(a) to maintain personal hygiene andcleanliness 24/7;(b) to keep own surroundings neatand clean,(c) free from dirt and bad smell all thetime;(d) to put on clean and odor-freedress;(e) to brush teeth regularly;(f) to use perfume (fragrance)13

To help the poor (relative andothers), orphans, sick, women andchildren, wayfarers, etc. Not torebuke a person asking for help.To take best care of the parents, listen totheir orders, never to misbehave with them,show them due respect in all matters, makethem comfortable in all respects. Childrendisobedient to their parents cannot expect toenter Jannat (Heaven, Paradise), says aHadith of Rasulullah (bpuh).14

To take care of near relations and neighbors,help them when asked for.To have patience and depend on Allah(Tawakkaul) on all matters.To respect the elders, love the children, togive service to the old people and the sick.To use the right hand while givingsomething to and taking some thing fromothers.15

To behave well with others;never to be arrogant.To control anger.Not to scream at others.To accept an invitation, thank that person.In case of inability to accept the invitation,refuse it politely with thanks stating thereason for your inability..17

Not to put anybody to shame; notto harm anybody wilfully; not towish bad for others; not to useabusive language with anybody;not to seek for faults and spreadbad names of others.To behave nicely with the guests and takegood care of them.Hijab is a part of Ibadah for both men andwomen. Not to wear vulgar dress. Womenand girls to wear Hijab all over the body,not only tying a scarf around the headbecause that’s not the real Hijab.Women should not wear perfume whilegoing out of home because fragranceattracts men to them.18

To do good work and encourageothers to do so.To lead a simple life free from extravagance;to adopt a middle course in all mattersavoiding extremes. To maintain a happyappearance and attitude all the time. Suchstyle of life will encourage others to changetowards better.To shun pride, greed, miserliness andextravagance. Not to waste money (wealth)or time. Allah does not like an extravagantor wasteful person.19

To repay loan on time. Not toborrow paying interest. Interest isHaram.Not to speak ill of other religions or theiradherents. Tolerance is alwaysrecommended.Not to eat or drink anything in standingposition, always to do so sitting.20

To put forward the right foot firstwhile entering a mosque and putforward the left foot first whileleaving the mosque.While wearing socks and shoes, start withthe right foot first and then the left foot.While wearing dress, start from the rightside first and then the left side.21

To take food or drink by the righthand, saying Bismillah first.To start eating food from front sideof the plate, not middle or other sideof the plate.Drinking water, milk, tea, coffee or juice instanding position is not recommended.Never waste any food or drink. Whereveryou are. Allah dislikes waste and wastefulhabit.22

To shave the unwanted hair of underarms andof the pubic zone regularly within 40 days.This is a part of personal hygiene stronglyemphasized in the Hadith.To trim the nails in hands and toes regularly.As well, males should get their hair cutnicely on a regular basis.To wash hands and face and get refreshedsoon after returning home from outside.Making Wudu is preferable. Make a habit ofremaining in the state of Wudu all day long.23

While inside a mosque, place your shoesneatly on the shoe rack. It is praiseworthy ifyou place others’ shoes as well on the shoerack neatly.Don’t waste water or splash water aroundwhile making Wudu. Wipe around the sinkafter Wudu with a paper towel. Wipe the wetfloor too and leave it dry.During the winter season, hang yourJackets neatly on the hangers providedtherefore inside the Mosque.Never to criticize or show contempt to others.Never to judge a person on the basis of hiswealth or poverty. Never to call names ofothers.24

Put garbage inside the correct bins.Never to underestimate any person withoutknowing him well. Never to form a negativeopinion about any person on the basis ofothers’ adverse report before verifying thetruth. Not to take a hasty decision withoutproper verification of the relevant facts andfigures. Not to pry into other’s privacy.25

So far we have discussed about Islamicmanners, meticulous practicing of whichwill build the fabric of our life on earth forenjoying bliss in the life after death. Nowlet us turn own attention to some othervery important aspects and activitiesessential for leading an ideal Islamic life.26

Practicing SalamPractice offering Salam to everyonebecause our beloved ProphetMuhammad (Blessing and Peace beupon him) has advised us to do so.This Sahih Hadith should guide us allthrough our life as Muslims. “Assalamu‘alaikum” means “Peace beupon you” which seeks Allah’spleasure and blessing for both theparties involved.27

a. Offer Salam loudly before entering a Muslimresidence other than your own. Offer Salamagain when you meet anyone inside.b. Make a habit of offering Salam to all – eldersand children, male and female, inside andoutside your residence.c. Offer Salam while entering your ownresidence. Also seek permission before youenter another’s room.d. Offer Salam while entering an empty(vacant) house too because the angels ofRahmat are present inside.e. Offer Salam after rising from bed towhoever you meet.28

f. Offer Salam while entering an empty(vacant) Masjid because angels of Rahmatare present inside.g. Offer Salam to the members of your familybefore you go to bed.h. Offer Salam when your phone rings and youpick it up.i. Offer Salam when you call anybody andagain offer Salam after finishing yourconversation.j. Offer Salam before you take leave fromsomeone.k. Say “As-salamu ‘alaikum” (peace beupon you); never say “Slamalaikum”which carries no meaning at all.29

Physical CleanlinessPhysical and mental cleanliness isessential for Ibadah to beacceptable to Allah. That’s thereason why Muslims do Wudu(Ablution) before each and everySalat (prayer). Clean dress and aclean space are primarily essentialfor every Salah.30

Daily 5 times Salat(Prayer)Daily Salat has to be performed ontime. This is Allah’s command.Therefore, do not neglect yourprayer while outside at school,college, university, public library,shopping mall, office, factory, etc.Remaining in the state of Wudu allday long greatly helps saying theSalat on time wherever you are.31

Computer, Ipods, Ipad, Videogames, etc.Computer games, Ipods, video games, TV,movies (English, Bengali, Hindi or anyother language) consume a large amountof time everyday. Reduce such wastefulhabits, set a daily limit so that the timethus saved can be put to Ibadah or suchother useful and healthy pursuits.32

Movie, Music, Dancing,Etc.Cinema, music, dancing, etc., are notapproved by Islam because those are inmost cases, indecent. Moreover they spoilvaluable time and waste of money too.Such things take the heart away from theremembrance of Allah, these aremachinations of the Shaitan. These mustbe avoided. Rock music is particularlyobjectionable because these songs, inmany cases, adore the Shaitan which isShirk.33

TV serials, Songs, etc.Similar is the case with drama, TVserials too. Hindi cinema and serialsare particularly harmful to Islamicfaith because those entertainmentsstart and continue to show HinduIdols (gods, goddesses, puja) and theirculture, watching of which is Haram,and gradually weakens the Iman.Many songs contain wordingscontrary to Islamic belief. Therefore,must be avoided.34

Way of Anger Management1) Physical movement – (sitting if standingand standing if sitting)2) Physical relaxation – (closing eyes, deepbreathing)3) Mental distraction – (countingbackwards)4) Verbal engagement – (positive self-talk,reciting Dua’ (supplication)5) Cooling technique – (ablution or shower)6) Meditation – (supplication, ritual nafilprayer, reading the Qur’an)35

When AngeyMake a habit of saying ‘Auzubillahi minash-Shaitanir rajeem.Allah the Exalted said (translation): “And if (at any time) anincitement to discord is made to you by Shaytan, seekrefuge in Allah; He is the One Who hears and knows allthings.” Surah Fussilat (#41) V. 36Sulayman bin Surdin noticed: I was sitting with theMessenger of Allah (pbuh) and two men were insulting eachother, the face of one of them had become red, and hisjugular veins had puffed up. So the Messenger of Allah(pbuh) said:"I surely know a word, would he have said it,that which he is experiencing would have left him. If he hadsaid: 'A'uzu bil-lahi minash-Shaytanir-rajeem’ that which heis experiencing would have gone away from him".Meaning:I solicit Allah's protection from the despicable Shaytan.(Saheeh Bukhari and Muslim)36

Haramfood ingredientsBeware of Haram food and drinks. Always eat Halal:Halal means permitted, and Haram means strictly prohibitedby Allah. Please always keep in mind that fast food served inCanada and the U.S. are mostly not Halal.Please check following ingredients when you buy any food.Animal shorteningCollagen (Pork)Diglyceride (animal)Enzyme (animal)Fatty acid (animal)GelatinGlyceride (animal)Glycerol/glycerin (animal)Hormones (animal)Hydrolyzed animal proteinLardLecithin (If soya then Halal)Monoglycerides (animal)Pepsin (animal)**Phospholipid (animal)Renin Rennet**Shortening (animal)*Whey**Haram Food IngredientsInvestigateHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamHaraamInvestigateHaraamInvestigate*Animal fat shortening can be from beeffallow or lard. If it is from lard, then it isHaraam. If it is from beef fallow, then theanimal has to have been slaughteredIslamically, otherwise it is Haraam.**Rennet/Pepsin: Rennet is a milkcoagulant that is the concentrated extractof renin enzyme obtained from calvesstomachs. Note: At the time of purchase,if you are unable to verify the fact, youcan call the concerned company. Thecompany's name and number isgenerally mentioned on the product, ifnot see the telephone directory.37

Listen to AdhanAzan is the call to the Muslims toperform their 5 daily Salat on time.You can download free Azansoftware in your computer fromwww.islamicfinder.org. Make a habitof listening to the Azan (keepingyour computer on all the time) andsaying your Salat every time ontime. Allah will love you and blessyou.38

Keep in mind the 17 HarmfulEffects of TV Watching1. Produces hypnotic effect, bypassing frontal lobefiltering.2. Reduces interest in reading and learning.3. Weakens brain power.4. Encourages poor lifestyle habits.5. Encourages obesity.6. Increases daydreaming.7. Weakens creativity.8. May reduce our powers of discrimination.9. Trans in non-reaction.10. Influences viewers to regard violence lightly.11. Makes children more irritable.12. Increases aggressiveness.13. Accelerates sexual activity.14. Addictive15. Reduces time available for productive achievement.16. Steals time from family interaction.17. Adversely affects spiritual pursuits.39