BIOGRAPHY OF SWAMI VIVEKANANDA

were knowing players. We must play blindfolded. Some of us have taken the partof the rogue of the play; some, of the hero — never mind, it is all play. This is theonly consolation. There are demons and lions and tigers and what not on thestage, but they are all muzzled. They snap but cannot bite. The world cannottouch our souls. If you want, even if the body be torn and bleeding, you mayenjoy the greatest peace in your mind. And the way to that is to attainhopelessness. Do you know that? Not the imbecile attitude of despair, but thecontempt of the conqueror for the things he has attained, for the things he hasstruggled for and then thrown aside as beneath his worth.'To Mary Hale, who 'has been always the sweetest note in my jarring andclashing life,' he wrote on March 26,1900:This is to let you know 'I am very happy.' Not that I am getting into ashadowy optimism, but my power of suffering is increasing. I am beinglifted up above the pestilential miasma of this world's joys and sorrows.They are losing their meaning. It is a land of dreams. It does not matterwhether one enjoys or weeps — they are but dreams, and as such mustbreak sooner or later....I am attaining peace that passeth understanding— which is neither joy nor sorrow, but something above them both. TellMother (Referring to Mrs. Hale) that. My passing through the valley ofdeath — physical, mental — these last two years, has helped me in this.Now I am nearing that Peace, the eternal Silence. Now I mean to seethings as they are — everything in that Peace — perfect in its way. 'Hewhose joy is only in himself, whose desires are only in himself' he haslearnt his lessons. This is the great lesson that we are here to learnthrough myriads of births and heavens and hells: There is nothing to besought for, asked for, desired, beyond one's self. The greatest thing I canobtain is myself. I am free — therefore I require none else for myhappiness. Alone through eternity — ;because I was free, am free, andwill remain free for ever. This is Vedantism. I preached the theory solong, but oh, joy! Mary, my dear sister, I am realizing it now every day.Yes, I am. I am free — Alone — Alone. I am, the One without a second.Vivekananda's eyes were looking at the light of another world, his real abode.And how vividly and touchingly he expressed his nostalgic yearning to return toit, in his letter of April 18, 1900, written from Alameda, California, to MissMacLeod, his ever loyal Joe:Just now I received your and Mrs. Bull's welcome letter. I direct this toLondon. I am so glad Mrs. Leggett is on the sure way to recovery.I am so sorry Mr. Leggett resigned the presidentship.Well, I keep quiet for fear of making further trouble. You know mymethods are extremely harsh, and once roused I may rattle Abhedanandatoo much for his peace of mind.