Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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AllayingFearEven children whose mothers claimed thatthey had been badly frightened by raidsshowed, surprisingly enough, little interest insirens, bombs, guns or "all clears."A girl of four years suggested to the kindergartenteacher who was trying to quiet anoisychild in his shelter bed that, if he would notpromise to be good, she should "take him upstairsto a danger-room".A little girl of three and a half years, beingasked whether she was pleased to see a visitinguncle, says crossly: "No, I want him bombed."Our big girls, six and nine years old, whenwe take them for a walk and pass by damagedhouses make expert casual remarks: "Incendiarybomb". This is where the roof is burnedout. "High explosive". This is where the wallsare badly shaken.The same two girls tellabout the time whenthey still lived with their parents in a badlybombed area: "Every evening when the firstbombs came down, Daddy would grab his coatand run out to help and mummy would alwayscall after him: 'Don't forget that we have twospare beds and bring in people if you findthem homeless'."Children whose parents behave inthat way,naturally show no sign of fear themselves.The father says of the six year old girl:94
"You would have to drop a bomb down herbackbefore she would take notice!"It is different with the two of our childrenwho were brought in by excessively nervousmothers, women who had developed states ofgrave anxiety after having been bombed, oneat home and one in a shelter. Those mothersused to pull their children out of bed andstand around trembling; one child stood nearhis mother all night, unable to leave her. Theynaturally imparted their own fears to theirchildren. But even these children, after theseparation from their mothers, quickly losetheir state of tension and settle down to ordinarylife.ParentCo-operationWe were warned in the beginning that wewould find the London parents of the poorerclasses to be rather unappreciative, critical andonly too glad to dump their children on usand forget all about them and their furtherobligations. What we experience is exactly theopposite. With the exception of three motherswhom one can hardly regard as responsiblepersonalities, one can only admire the effortswhich the parents make for their childrenunder the worst possible conditions, their attemptsat co-operation with us and their realdelight at every chance which is offered to95
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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Page 50 and 51: Development of the Mother-Relations
Page 52 and 53: mother also at times when there is
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Page 56 and 57: pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
Page 58 and 59: ooms, the position of the beds and
Page 60 and 61: Both sexes in this manner have thei
Page 62 and 63: only one main punishment for anybod
Page 64 and 65: not develop on quite the same lines
Page 66 and 67: the present. New ties are form Ther
Page 68 and 69: fine or even make a mental picture
Page 70 and 71: urn Road after their houses had bee
Page 72 and 73: i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
Page 74 and 75: their pets, which they probably wou
Page 76 and 77: finite way of demonstrating the sce
Page 78 and 79: and narcissistic at the beginning o
Page 80 and 81: caused by neglect; it can, on the o
Page 82 and 83: tion of aggression due to the examp
Page 84 and 85: ig or small that loss may be, the f
Page 86 and 87: The second case, Sylvia, three and
Page 88 and 89: the destruction which goes on aroun
Page 90 and 91: with the mother which contains all
Page 92 and 93: esidential homes these should be si
Page 95: The previous part of the book isbas
Page 100 and 101: their children. They appreciate eve
Page 102 and 103: street next to the one in which she
Page 104 and 105: This same state of affairs continue
Page 106 and 107: went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
Page 108 and 109: Blitz in September and October 1940
Page 110 and 111: ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
Page 112 and 113: more than a year her junior.Her lat
Page 114 and 115: whether this was the way in which s
Page 116 and 117: ditions was too short to make up fo
Page 118 and 119: or abnormal outcome seems to be the
Page 120 and 121: somehow included in it and soon bec
Page 122 and 123: een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125: with an absent love object. We say
Page 126 and 127: PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
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withheld from the child and that th
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months thi9 was the period I was in
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of our own. This training scheme is
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COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
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tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
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mother's relationship remains more
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Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
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The step taken was the subdivision
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to them, reappeared as often as she
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April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
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y the doubt and worry whether she h
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But even with the best intentions t
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weekly and only a few less often. T
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The same feelings can also be expre
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Her unconscious wish against the ba
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ditions of normal family life. When
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up all precautions, which means tha
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—"Do you remember the first night
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When asked why he worried about thi
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She says: "Teacher says there are a
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away." Which means at this moment h
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parents. All these services were si
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I have seen other nursery schools d
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The mother relationship of the smal
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«MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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