Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

the mother were known to the child beforehand,transition from one object to the otherwould proceed gradually. If the mother reappearedseveral times during the period whenthe child had to be weaned from her, the painof separation would be repeated, but it wouldbe felt each successive time in smaller doses.By the time the affection of the child had letgo of the mother the new substitute objectwould be well known and ready at hand. Therewould be no empty period in which the feelingsof the child are turned completely inwardand, consequently, there would be littleloss of educational achievement. Regressionoccurs while the child is passing through theno-man's-land of affection, i.e. during the timethe old object has been given up and before thenew one has been found. Two of our childrenhave expressed this state of mind in their ownwords.Bertram, three and three-quarters years old,said: "I don't like you, I don't like anybody!I only like myself". Ivan, five years old, exclaimed:"I am nobody's nothing".Mothers are commonly advised not to visittheir children during the first fortnight afterseparation. It is the common opinion thatthe pain of separation will then pass morequickly and cause less disturbance. In realityit is the very quickness of the child's break85