Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

and narcissistic at the beginning of life. Inthe same measure as its feelings turn awayfrom itself and go out towards mother andfather, the further family and the world beyondthem, the child becomes increasinglyable to restrict and gain control over its owninstincts and to become "social". When somethinghappens to shake its confidence in itsparents or to rob it altogether of its loved objectsit withdraws into itself once more andregresses in social adaptations instead of progressing.The advances it has made in becomingclean, in being less destructive, in modesty,pity and unselfishness, i.e.the first setting up ofmoral ideals within itself, has on the child'spart not only been a sacrifice. It has feltpleasure in these achievements because theywere made for the sake of the parents and thusbrought their own rewards. When the attachmentto the parents is destroyed, all these newachievementslose their value for the child.There is no sense any more in being good,clean or unselfish. When the child rejects itsattachment to the parents who have deserted it,it rejects at the same time many of the moraland social standards which it has alreadyreached. Most of the difficulties shown by childrenwho now fillthe residential war nurseriesare due to such regressions in development.74