Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

naturalpain of separation into an intense longingwhich is hard to bear. In theses moods ofhomesickness children are usually particularlygood. Commands and prohibitions which theyformerly opposed at home are now religiouslyobserved in the absence of the parents. Whatevermight be interpreted as implied criticismof the parents is violently resented. Theysearch their thoughts for past wrongs aboutwhich they might feel guilty.Patrick, three and one half years old, whenhe heard that his mother had gone tothe hospitalwith a bad leg began to remember a timewhen he had kicked her, and began to wonderwhether her illness was his fault.Visits or lack of them is understood as rewardsand punishments. We had several littlegirls of three and four who would "hangaround" the doors for hours when their motherswere expected to come. But the visits at thesetimes never brought the desired satisfaction.When the mothers were present the childrenwould be gloomy, shy, and hang onto themwithout talking; when the mothers left againthe affection broke through and violent sceneswere produced. The children acted as if theycould only feel love towards the absent mother;towards the present mother resentment wasuppermost.Again, the reactions towards the father do59