Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

Both sexes in this manner have their firstexperience in being in love. As a result ofcircumstances it is inevitable that this first loveis disappointing. In comparison with the rivalparent the child feels itself to be small, ineffectiveand inferior. It experiences feelingsof anger towards one parent, jealousy towardsthe other, and feels generally discontented thatits fantastic wishes to be big can find no realfulfillment.It acts as a second disturbing factor that theparents use the love which children feel forthem to educate the children. The early upbringingof children is not at all an easyundertaking.Children are born as little savages; whenthey enter school at the age of five they areexpected to be more or less civilised humanbeings. This means that the first years of lifeare completely filled with the struggle betweenthe demands of the parents and the instinctivewishes of the child. Already in the first twoyears weaning has been carried out against thedesire of the child and habit training has beenenforced. The child's hunger and greed havehad to adapt themselves to regular meal times.In this new period the parents criticise andrestrict the child's aggression and itswishes todestroy things. They not only train it to cleanliness,they want it to dislike dirt as much as56