Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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ooms, the position of the beds and will rememberthe contents of cupboards, etc.Fathers also are treated better in this respect.The children were always more or lessused to their coming and going and not dependenton them for their primitive gratifications.Consequently, parting from themis no real shock and their memory remainsmore undisturbed. Failure to recognise themother occurs when something has happenedto the image of the mother in the child'smind, i.e., to its inner relationship to her.The mother has disappointed the child andleft its longing for her unsatisfied; so it turnsagainst her with resentment and rejects thememory of her person from its consciousness.MOTHER AND CHILDRELATIONSHIP IN THEEARLY STAGESWhat is true about the small child remainstrue with certain modifications for the next twoor three years of life. Changes are broughtabout slowly by development in various directions.Intelligence grows and enables thechild to get some understanding of real situations,for instance, of the real reasons forbeing sent way; towards the age of five thismental understanding already acts as a realhelp in lessening the shock. More comfort54
can be derived from memories, and hopes forthe future begin to play a part.On the other hand the relations between childrenand their parents are less simple andharmonious at this time time of life. All sortsof complicating factors have been added to thehome situation and confuse the picture whenthe family has to break up. The child of thisage has ceased to live in partnership with itsmother only; it has become a member of alarger family group, and this factor has a bearingon its emotions and affections.So far the emotional development of boysand girls has appeared rather similar; at thisage they begin to develop definitely along differentlines. The boy begins to identify himselfwith his father and to imitate him in variousways. This changes his position towards themother; he ceases to be a dependent baby, andturns into a small demanding male who claimsher attention, desires her admiration, and longsto possess her in more grown-up ways. Thelittle girl, on the other hand, has grown awayfrom her complete absorption in the mother.She begins to imitate her in turn, shetries to play mother herself with dolls or withher younger brothers and sisters. She turns heraffection and interest more towards the father,and would like him to appreciate her in themother's place.55
Page 1 and 2:
•?mm
Page 7: WAR AND CHILDREN
Page 10 and 11: COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
Page 13: The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
Page 16 and 17: of children has, therefore, little
Page 18 and 19: The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
Page 20 and 21: the significance of air raids. They
Page 22 and 23: The understanding of catastrophes,
Page 24 and 25: confused in her mind with the more
Page 26 and 27: gether in a play-pen will bite each
Page 28 and 29: fact that the destruction raging in
Page 30 and 31: them as far as they can understand
Page 32 and 33: fear in this manner and return, app
Page 34 and 35: they knew about its wickedness. It
Page 36 and 37: from danger and put them in surroun
Page 38 and 39: her mother's lack of fearnot develo
Page 40 and 41: dren. We have four examples, where
Page 42 and 43: urged to adapt themselves to a high
Page 44 and 45: oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
Page 46 and 47: misfits.They have in their position
Page 48 and 49: certainly more than the average ine
Page 50 and 51: Development of the Mother-Relations
Page 52 and 53: mother also at times when there is
Page 54 and 55: other people in the world besides i
Page 56 and 57: pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
Page 60 and 61: Both sexes in this manner have thei
Page 62 and 63: only one main punishment for anybod
Page 64 and 65: not develop on quite the same lines
Page 66 and 67: the present. New ties are form Ther
Page 68 and 69: fine or even make a mental picture
Page 70 and 71: urn Road after their houses had bee
Page 72 and 73: i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
Page 74 and 75: their pets, which they probably wou
Page 76 and 77: finite way of demonstrating the sce
Page 78 and 79: and narcissistic at the beginning o
Page 80 and 81: caused by neglect; it can, on the o
Page 82 and 83: tion of aggression due to the examp
Page 84 and 85: ig or small that loss may be, the f
Page 86 and 87: The second case, Sylvia, three and
Page 88 and 89: the destruction which goes on aroun
Page 90 and 91: with the mother which contains all
Page 92 and 93: esidential homes these should be si
Page 95: The previous part of the book isbas
Page 98 and 99: AllayingFearEven children whose mot
Page 100 and 101: their children. They appreciate eve
Page 102 and 103: street next to the one in which she
Page 104 and 105: This same state of affairs continue
Page 106 and 107: went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
Page 108 and 109:
Blitz in September and October 1940
Page 110 and 111:
ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
Page 112 and 113:
more than a year her junior.Her lat
Page 114 and 115:
whether this was the way in which s
Page 116 and 117:
ditions was too short to make up fo
Page 118 and 119:
or abnormal outcome seems to be the
Page 120 and 121:
somehow included in it and soon bec
Page 122 and 123:
een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125:
with an absent love object. We say
Page 126 and 127:
PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129:
older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131:
denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133:
In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135:
1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137:
porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139:
Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141:
for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143:
and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145:
the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147:
some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149:
withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151:
months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153:
of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155:
COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157:
tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159:
mother's relationship remains more
Page 160 and 161:
Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163:
The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165:
to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 166 and 167:
April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
Page 168 and 169:
y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 170 and 171:
But even with the best intentions t
Page 172 and 173:
weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 174 and 175:
The same feelings can also be expre
Page 176 and 177:
Her unconscious wish against the ba
Page 178 and 179:
ditions of normal family life. When
Page 180 and 181:
up all precautions, which means tha
Page 182 and 183:
—"Do you remember the first night
Page 184 and 185:
When asked why he worried about thi
Page 186 and 187:
She says: "Teacher says there are a
Page 188 and 189:
away." Which means at this moment h
Page 190 and 191:
parents. All these services were si
Page 192 and 193:
I have seen other nursery schools d
Page 194 and 195:
The mother relationship of the smal
Page 200 and 201:
«MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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